Yes I will update TCR sometime soon; I've just been putting it off
Part 4
KM: (Watching TV) Hot damn that boy is hot
SF: Mm-hm, Dane Cook is the very definition of sexy.
KM: Hell yeah, look at that ass in those pants
SF: Those are some happy Wranglers
Covenant fangirls: Um, shouldn't you be getting to work and writing more? (Nudge, nudge)
KM: In a minute, eye fucking Dane Cook comes first!
SF: Yeah! (Kick)
Covenant fangirls: (Grumble, grumble)
3 hours later…
KM: (Is updating the 'Uber Sex Man list') Okay, so we move Gerard up to number 3, Rodrigo get's bumped down to number 5 and Dane Cook gets number 4
SF: Sounds about right! The Bostroms are still number 2 and the Goberts stay on the poll
Covenant fangirls: Yo!
SF: Oi, we're busy!
Covenant fangirls: (Throws brick!)
KM: FINE YOU WIN!!! (Turns on laptop)
Covenant fangirls: When you mess with the fangirl bitches you dead son of a bitches!
KM: Stop plagiarizing me dammit! She does it enough already!
SF: (Glares)
Pogue: (Soft, sultry voice) Thanks for the ride man
Caleb: No, thank you
SF: Are you ever gonna stop dicking around with those two?
KM: (Continues writing) Nope
SF: (Rolls eyes)
Caleb walks down a long drive way and a large metal gate closes behind him darkly
SF: Oooh, I do love dark, angst scenes
KM: Among other things kink whore
SF: (Jack Sparow voice) What did the bird say! (Breaks beer bottle on table)
KM: If you kill me where will you get your AMA slash?
SF: Dammit (Grumbles)
KM: That's what I thought
Evelyn: You're home early, it's only midnight
SF: Wow, that is early
Caleb: Yeah mom it's after midnight, what are you still doing awake?
Evelyn: Getting drunk off my ass 'cause my son is almost legal. The fangirls will be all over you like they were for your father. Had to beat them off with a stick I did and then there's the slashers, they don't give a shit if your legal or not
KM: Nope
Caleb: How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not my father? There's no way in hell I'm ever gonna bang Gorman
Evelyn: Yeah, well Gorman was quite a catch 20 years ago
Gorman: Hey, I still have it and then some. I just netted a nice young number named…what was your name again?
Bordy: Who cares, hardly anyone knows who I am anyway
Aaron: Dude, I was next in line to bang Gorman
SF: Alright Kos, give me the beer. I'm cutting you off!
KM: Too late, I'm already half drunk
SF: Oh lord
Evelyn: You know these powers you, your friends and the thousands of Mary Sues developed when you turned 13 are NOTHING compared to the new ones you'll get
Chase: Oh yeah! They're much better (Wills Caleb to be Horny)
Caleb: That's odd, who the hell turned up the heat? Anywho, I'm not gonna turn into my father and throw my life away because some pretty blue-eyed thing bats her eyelashes at me.
Sarah and Renny: Oh yes you are!
Caleb: Fuck, well might as well enjoy one last night of single hood. (Goes up stairs)
Chase: About freakin' time. That 'Horny as fuck' spell takes forever to work!
Superfriend's narrator: Meanwhile…
Sarah: We're sitting about in our underwear and teddy's, nothing gay or out of the ordinary here
KM: 'Cause the script was written by men
Renny: Hey, the boys walk around half naked too
KM: You're forgiven then
Sarah: So why are they called "The Sons of Ipswich"?
Kate: Hell if I know, Pogue's just a trophy boyfriend
Renny: Will the two of you read the &$# script!
4 hours later…
Kate: They're the sons of the first settlers of the original Ipswich colony
Renny: Good, it only took 4 $#& hours
Sarah: So the whole witch hunting thing was real
Monty Python townsfolk: YES! Floats in water and weights less then a duck
Kate: I guess, wanna make out?
Sarah: (Throws pencil aside) Sure
Renny: Who the hell put that in there?
Male Crew Members: (Whistles innocently) What, we're bored?
Sarah: Fine, I'll go shower then to appease the men
Male Crew Members: Code blue! Code blue! (Grabs cameras and fallows Sarah.)
Meanwhile, at Caleb's house
Caleb: (Lights cigarette) Damn, where the hell did you learn to bend that way?
Chase: Ask her (Points at KM) now if you'll excuse me I have a blonde to peep in on
Caleb: Fine, I'll just have Pogue come over then, I have a lot of living to do before I have to settle down with Sarah
Mary Sues: Screw that bitch, we all want you!
KM: How the hell did you all get in here (Grabs shotgun) y'all get back in the cellar where you belong!
Mary Sues: Or you'll what?
KM: I'll update "Ways to Annoy the Mary Sues" again
Mary Sues: (Whimpers) Fine
Sarah: You know a small part of me can't help but wonder why they bothered to put bathrooms in our dorms without including showers?
Provost: We needed the extra money to keep all of transfer Sues out
KM: And a fine job you're doing
Chase: Can someone please explain to me WHY I had to stop screwing Caleb and watch this whore?
Renny: I'll bring in a Sue if you'd prefer that
Chase: NOOOO!!!
Renny: Then make with the fog witch boy
Chase: (Sigh) I get no respect
KM: Ah-hm!
Chase: Expect from you, you let me bang Caleb
KM: And you do it sooo well
SF: Seriously girl, where the hell is alcohol stash of yours?
KM: Arg, I will never reveal where my booty is buried
SF: It's in the Mustang isn't it?
KM: Dammit! (Runs off to re-hide stash)
SF: (Turns TV back on) Mr. Cook, you are all mine
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Hopefully it's still funny. And yeah, most of these start off at my place because everyone keeps asking me what my humor planning sessions are like. These are pretty much it people.
And I'm too hung-over to double check spelling and what not. Any errors or what not please let me know.