Chapter 4 The Nameless
"Daddy, I feel weird around those." The little girl points at the sleeping hound. Its steely limbs glistening against the dimly lit holdings it is laying in. "Why is that?"
The man standing next to her leans down and gestures a large hand at the hound. "That is because, my daughter, those are your siblings, cousins, ancestors..."
She peers up at him, confused, "My..siblings?" Her silky wolf pup ears perk in curiosity.
"This is what happens when you don't live up to our expectations. This is what will happen if you continue to disobey me."
My knees shake, dangerously close to giving out below me as the sound continues. I'm just so tired- this human form doesn't hold up well... but I need to keep going. I need to try to protect these guys because it's my fault it's here. I glance at the single window of my apartment and point towards it. "Out! Now!"
Yusuke is the first to barrel out of the window, barely catching himself on the outside railing, glass flying everywhere. We all follow suit. As soon as I exit, the war hound turns a sickly, metallic head around the corner, baring its teeth.
"Oh, fuck!" Yusuke screams at the top of his lungs as he begins running, all of us following. We get to the staircase and Yusuke turns to start down it, I grab him by his shirt sleeve and throw him against the railing, gesturing at it. Who's got time for the fucking stairs? I lead the leap, and fall with a thud at the bottom, forgetting that I'm just a human at this point, and that was a six story drop. I feel my ankle crack and pain shoot up my leg.
I fall to a knee as everyone lands around me, obviously better trained than I am in this form. The metal sound resounds around us again, and we cover our ears. I look up just in time to see the hound leap down towards us from the landing. I roll out of the way just as it lands with a snarl. We're behind my apartment complex at this point, the sounds of the fountain in the man made lake behind it adds an eerie background noise to the snarls of the hound.
The hound snaps towards me and I roll out of the way again. It's soon after tackled by Kuwabara. He barely makes it budge as the wolf immediately turns it's heavy head and snaps at him. He jumps out of the way just in time as Yusuke knocks it in the face with a solid punch. It falters for a second, allowing me to get up and limp away towards the lake.
Your siblings, cousins, ancestors…
I glance behind me as Shuichi pulls an oddly familiar long thorny whip out of nowhere, and begin his onslaught. My heart shudders, could it really be him? No, focus.
I lean against a tree. I have to at least try in this form. I have to at least try. Only I can do this right now. "HEY! OVER HERE! I'M RIGHT HERE" I yell from across the clearing between the apartment building and the lake. They won't be able to hurt it, because they don't know how. They'll wear themselves out on it and it will take them down, one by one. The only way to take out the hounds is to stop their air flow. A secret only known to my father and I, and a select few others. The metal is not only melded into their skin, but through their blood.
This is what will happen if you continue to disobey me.
Can I do it without transforming? Transforming might be damning...
A young girl writhes in pain, her father standing over her. He squeezes a red gem in his hand, causing a high pitch scream to escape her lips. Tears stream down her cheeks.
"I will always find you." He holds the gem close to her, smiling. "This will make you obey me. This will keep you from running. This will keep you from staying hidden."
"Father what have you done to me?" She whimpers. He kneels beside her and gently picks up her right arm, and points at a fresh incision. She winces at the touch, and looks up at him, tears still streaming from her golden eyes.
"I've had a piece of this gem placed into you. You've forced my hand, Amaryllis." He drops her wrist, and gives the gem in his hand another squeeze. She whimpers and enters a fetal position. "You continued to disobey me, daughter. And, this is what happens to disobedient daughters. With that piece of gem inside your arm, you'll never be able to leave me."
Shuichi's whip leaves lashes and lesions all over the steel armor of the hound, but it doesn't flinch. The hound's head jerks in my direction. It lowers its head and takes a slow couple of steps towards me.
"Amaryllis…?! No!" Shuichi begins sprinting towards me as the dog begins running at me, snarling and snapping its teeth. "MOVE!"
"You're just going to let it kill you? Is that how you will react when your allies turn on you in the heat of battle? Are you going to let them just beat you down and make a fool of you because you liked them?"
The hound is pushed towards the girl, she can see fear and pain in its eyes. This hound doesn't want to fight, but it's forced to attack her time and time again. This hound used to be her friend.
The girl raises her hand, the pain in the hound's eyes frozen in her mind, the dog suddenly falls over mid attack. Dead.
The hound is within two hundred feet of me and I brace myself against the tree, and raise my hand. I focus all the energy I can towards the hound. It falters and looks taken aback, but continues its charge towards me, angrier than before. No. I raise my hand again, and the hound falters again, and levitates slightly off of the ground, and then thuds back to the ground. No. It leaps at me and I move just in time, as it breaks through the tree. I see Shuichi's whip bite at the hound's head, catching its attention.
I have to transform.
Yusuke sends a beam from his fingers, looking much like a Spirit Detective's spirit gun, and it bounces off, leaving a burn mark. "No fucking way…" he mutters.
"You should have put some more power behind it." Suggests Kuwabara, smugly.
"I didn't think it would just bounce off." Yusuke yells, gritting his teeth.
"No! Stay away!" I yell desperately. The two charge in union towards the hound as it turns to come back around, Shuichi uses his whip to hold the hound in place, it's front leg being held out.
Your siblings…
There is no turning back. I close my eyes and let my demon form burst forward, letting the energy surge through me. I feel the changes instantaneously. My hearing improves greatly, and as I lean on my ankle, there is now only a dull pang, but I feel balanced out by the reappearance of my tail. It feels like everything is happening in slow motion, as I hear the thumping of the hound's paws striking the ground. The grinding of its teeth, the force of its run shaking its body, metal on metal. I can see the anger and lifeless look in its eyes...
Your siblings...
I raise a hand, needing little concentration compared to my human form to draw on the air around me. The hound is suddenly lifted from the ground with a yelp. I feel a pang of guilt as the shrill sound reaches my ears. I close my eyes, unable to watch, and close my hand, retracting whatever air I can from the hound. And, with that, it stops moving. I lower my hand slowly, and lay it gently on the ground.
I can't stop the tears from escaping my eyes as I open them. I look up in time to see Shuichi stop beside me, his mouth agape slightly, looking at me concerned. "Ama… you shouldn't have done that… you know he'll be able to-" I turn away and wipe the tears from my eyes, and he goes silent. I power myself down, so to speak, and ease back into my human form, the pang of my ankle growing stronger, causing me to fall sideways into Shuichi, who catches me with ease.
"Fuck.." I feel more tears stream down my face, be it from the pain of my ankle or from… I glance at the still hound, and with that small glance, the waterfall continues.
This is what will happen if you continue to disobey me.
I feel Shuichi wrap an arm gently along my back in an attempt to support me. I look up at him slowly, a weird feeling in my gut. A longing I can't put my finger on, a longing I can't help but look up at him and expect for him to fulfill. We lock eyes, my eyes still overflowing, and I instantly hide my face in his shirt, ashamed. Is this really Youko? I feel almost overwhelmed by the feelings that come from the notion.
"Jesus, Amaryllis… could have warned us." Yusuke murmurs. I don't dare look at him for fear he will see my tears. I hear a clunk. He must be making sure the hound is dead.
"Yusuke, maybe you shouldn't mess with it.." Kuwabara sounds unsure, as I hear another clunk.
I take in a deep breath and gently push myself off of Shuichi, quickly wiping my eyes on the bottom of my tank top. I can't look him in the eyes, embarrassed by my display of emotion.
"Please, be respectful." I murmur, attempting to walk towards it. As soon as I put weight on my ankle I feel like it might crumble, and I feel Kurama catch me by my arm. I must have fucking broken it, and my adrenaline rush kept me from really feeling the damage until now…
"Respectful? It just tried to fucking kill us." Yusuke leans down in front of its large head.
"I know… just…" I can't seem to form the right words as I look at it in anguish. Raw emotions are suddenly surfacing. I've been out of touch with anything that came from my former life in the Makai. On purpose. Having to suddenly deal with it all at once… the thoughts of the origins of the hounds and the pain that comes with them. The facts. What it really means for one to be here, now...
I gently shove off Shuichi's arm. I have to make sure it's at peace. I take a few hops over to it, the movement causing my ankle to scream at me, but I ignore it and fall to the ground next to its large head, gently pushing Yusuke aside as I do. "It's gone. Don't worry. I promise.."
It's yellow eyes look lifelessly towards the fountain behind us. Its yellow eyes. Yellow like mine. I put a shaking hand on its cheek. More tears threaten to fall but I choke them back. Its soft fur makes me shiver, fur much like mine would be in my animal form. I gently put my hands over its eyes, and close them.
"Rest easy, my kin. Be at peace." If only I could reverse the effect of these steel bindings. If only I could reverse the effects of my father. I can feel anger begin to boil within me.
I can feel everyone silently watching me. A hand lays on my shoulder. I look up to see Shuichi looking down at me. He kneels beside me, his eyes filled with a silent understanding, and almost matching my own angry gleam. He closes his eyes, bowing his head respectfully. I feel so out in the open. Naked.
Yusuke and Kuwabara follow suit, probably not fully understanding why we are paying respects to this hound that was just trying to kill us. Me.
"I want him to die." I whisper. More tears stream silently down my cheeks. Shuichi's arm slowly wraps around my shoulders, still hesitant. Yusuke and Kuwabara must be so confused by my actions. That's what I get for trying to keep them out- for keeping them completely in the dark. All the emotions I pushed away from these past years are tearing me up. Flowing through my veins, echoing through my mind. Filling me with anger and anguish. It's like I had amnesia, and this hound triggered an avalanche of memories and emotion. I wipe my eyes on my hand and look up at Kurama. Only one way to find out… "Youko…?"
He gently smiles at me, "We need to get moving." He whispers softly. He knew the repercussions when he ran up to me after I had transformed -what it means if my father was paying attention. Only Youko would know. This is really him…
"I don't know if I can walk on my ankle… I think I broke it." I feel so weak, and beaten down. I can't handle the emotions I'm feeling. The aches I ran from. What am I going to do? I glance at the body of my kin, and close my eyes, and bow my head. He sent this, knowing how I feel about them. He sent this, knowing what I would have to do. I played right into his hand.
The moment that I found out Yusuke was looking for me, I should have known what would happen. And that brings me to another point… He also sent it knowing there could be innocent deaths. He is playing on my distrust of people. He knew, with our past interactions with the Spirit World, that I would not trust Yusuke or anyone associated with him. He played me for a fool, and won. I open my eyes and place a hand against the soft fur of the hound, again. There is no way for me to know who the hound used to be. I wish I could strip them of this steel… make them whole again at least in death.
I have to deal with this. And, I have to change how I work things. I have to go against my better judgement and work with these people. I can't go as far to say I'll work nicely with, Enma… this fuckery seems to be his fault if I'm understanding Yusuke correctly. I glance over at Yusuke who is kneeling beside me still, "Bring him to Koenma and tell him to show his father. Tell him how you found it. If Koenma wishes to speak with me, I'm willing to do so." Yusuke furrows his brow, not fully understanding my motives, but nods. He stands, and I look away as he picks up the lifeless body. I can feel bile trying to force its way up. That hound could have been anyone I knew from back home...
"You're not planning on going back to your apartment, right?" I adjust myself from my knees to my butt, gently stretching out my ankle in front of me. It's very swollen and starting to turn colors. "I wouldn't, anyway…" Kuwabara crosses his arms, a frown on his face. He is really a sweet guy.
I don't feel like answering, so I don't. He has a point, though. Although, at the same time I did just take out the hound; It most likely hasn't had time to report back… but still. There is also the fact that I did go into my demon form… my father can't control me from this distance...but I probably just about put a spotlight on my location… so I guess my apartment really is out of the question. I look over at at it with a scowl. It's been my home for just about four years.
I flop down onto my back, my arms sprawled out with a groan. What the hell am I going to do now? I still feel ass-naked in front of everyone, especially Kurama, after my awkward display of emotions. And, I've had my share of interactions with the spirit world and the people they employ… I'm definitely in the spotlight now with them. I can't run from that scenario… I'm not exactly a saint, and the last four years of being a good girl won't make up for a thousand years of absolute bullshitery.
"Can you just leave me here to die? Like...leave me for dead. I think I'll just lay here until I starve to death. That'd be great." I throw an arm over my eyes. My ankle is throbbing terribly now. I don't think there is any way I can leave here by myself… I dread the thought of having to be carried. Such a great display of strength, there.
I really don't want to deal with the Spirit World. What am I doing? "Like, I really don't want to deal with any of this right now. So, ya."
Well, Kurama carried me to the hospital, and then to his home. So, my death request fell on deaf ears. I'm staying in his home under the guise that due to family issues, I was no longer able to stay at my apartment. I should have known I was going to lose the "leave me here to die" argument. I'm currently laying on Kurama's bed, my right ankle in a bright pink cast, because that's all they had. I also didn't have the heart to tell a little girl no when she walked up to me in the discharge room. She was wearing a cast of her own, which was adorned in scribbles, and asked me if she could draw on mine. Her mother thought it was the cutest fucking thing and didn't tell her to leave me alone… how was I supposed to say no? 'Hey, little girl. Fuck off.'?
So, basically, my current situation is this: laying in Kurama's room, on his bed, with a neon as fuck cast on my ankle that has a shit ton of butterflies, hearts, and doodles on it, waiting for him and his step-brother to return with ramen. Why his brother? Because, I also couldn't tell his brother no when he asked if I wanted his ramen. Which means, the dinosaur ramen. Oh, and I'm wearing Kurama's jacket, because apparently when I was attacked right after I got off work, it didn't just cut down my hair tie. It cut a damn slit in my tank, right in the front. Between my boobs. Now I know. It explains everything. Whyyyyy?
He informed me after Yusuke and Kuwabara left. And, with the smuggest smile on his face. Which means it really is Youko. Also- I'm have a very low tolerance to the human pain meds. Strong stuff.
The door creaks open gently, and I shoot straight up, causing my head to swim. The pain meds are kicking my ass. My head forces me to plop back down. I settle for just peering at them weakly as they enter. His little brother, Kokoda, is grinning ear to ear. Kurama smiles gently at his brother as he speed walks over to me. He places the tray on the nightstand next to me. I gently prop myself up on an elbow. "Thank you, Kokoda!" I smile, and giggle as I notice the dinosaur shaped ramen. It really is kind of cute. He blushes and continues grinning. I look from him to Kurama, still smiling. I'm really high.
"It's very sweet of you both. I'll have to think of a way to repay you." I can't bring myself to sit completely up. I feel so groggy, tired, and still have a mist of sadness hanging about me. The kind of mood that needs a nice rum and coke- cherry on top.
"I really liked the sweets my mom said you made." He says shyly.
"Well, I'll have to make sure you get a giant truck load!" I wink at him.
Kokoda blushes and bows his way out of the room, still smiling. I smile after him, my eyes soft from either his genuine innocence or… maybe I'm just high as fuck.
Kurama opens a drawer from his dresser and pulls out a black shirt. He places it next to me on the bed, and, almost as if he had read my mind, offers a hand. He pulls me up slowly, and quite easily. I hold my head the whole way, and swoon a bit. He helps me slide back so I'm leaning against the wall. I lazily glance at my watch, it's midnight. All of this bullshit happened in about six hours. I lean my head against the wall, and close my eyes. Let's not even address that after the fight, and seeing Kurama use that.. Whip. It confirmed who he really was. That in itself confuses me. And, explains things a bit. I feel a twinge of guilt and fear at the thought of bringing up the past.
"Have you never tried human medicine, here?" Kurama sits at the foot of the bed, at my feet. He smiles at my cast. I want to just slam it into his face. He just sat there next to me in the hospital and grinned as the little girl wreaked havoc on it.
"No. I didn't expect it to be so… efficient. I'm so… I feel very… out of it." I peer out at him through squinted eyes.
"Will you be able to eat that by yourself…?" He looks like he is holding back laughter.
"Are you asking to feed me?"
"No, I'm very eager to watch you get ramen all over my bed." He responds sarcastically.
I pick up one of his pillows and throw it at him. My vision blurs at the gesture, and I bang my head back against the wall with a groan. Geez.
He chuckles, and picks up the shirt he had placed on the bed, "You can wear my shirt for the night, if you'd like."
"I dunno. Don't want to get ramen all over it." He lets out a hearty laugh. I smile at the sound, and my face reddens. These be some strong drugs. "I think you were right. I should have eaten before taking anything.."
I pick up the shirt abruptly, and quickly unzip his jacket. He quickly looks away. "Oh come off it. You didn't have a problem earlier, perverted fox."
"Well, at least you finally believe me." He responds with a chuckle, still looking away.
"Your fancy little grape vine kind of sealed the deal."
"Grape vine?" He asks, acting insulted.
I begin stripping off my torn shirt slowly. My coordination is failing me horribly and I accidentally swipe up my bra with it. There is absolutely no way I can put it back on right now.
"Fuck it…" I mutter, and throw them both on the floor next to the bed. Kurama's eyes shoot to the floor and immediately back to the source with a raised eyebrow. Luckily, I had by then covered myself out of instinct. We stare at each other for a second, my face reddening even more than it had before. I can't read the look in his eyes, and all too quickly, he seemingly snaps out of it and looks away.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't… I'm…"
"Youko Kurama, from personal experience and from what I heard over the years you have seen plenty of breasts. Don't suddenly act like I scarred your lil' virgin eyes." I slip the shirt on. "I was covering up anyway."
"I don't think scarred is the correct word…" He mutters under his breath, running a hand through his hair. His shirt is large on me, which is okay. It's comfortable. "Amaryllis…" He starts, looking at me as I reach for the tray carefully. I glance over at him as I grab a hold of the tray. At the sound of my name rolling off his lips like that, something clicks. The shivers and the way the sound of my name coming from his lips makes me squirm; somehow my body knew who he was. We were both so young when we first met, for demons anyway. I loved his company, but my father hated him. I used to chuckle at what he used to say after evading attempts on his life. The cunning of a fox is as murderous as the violence of the wolf.
"The cunning of a fox is as murderous as the violence of the wolf." I mutter. He remains silent as I begin slowly eating the ramen. What can we really say to one another? There is so much to be said and explained. We didn't depart willingly. And, the shit that I found out that caused me to leave everything behind… where would I even begin? It's such a delicate situation- more so than he probably realizes.
I finish up the ramen, and place the tray back down. I look at Kurama as he runs a hand through his hair, a very familiar gesture now that I know who he is, and feel sick to my stomach. I was very distraught when we were forced apart. I admired him and his carefree attitude. I always felt so free.. So different and alive around him. And, when we decided to run away together... My father ended it. He held his ability to keep me in check over my head, and the livelihood of my dear fox, among other things. His response was to kill something. And, he did.
The ramen doesn't help my drugged situation, and I suddenly feel myself growing extremely sleepy. "Hey… since you have such a huge green thumb," I pause and giggle at my own perverted joke, "Mind making me something from your plants to quicken the healing process...so I can stop taking this shit? I really.. I'm like really high right now."
"I don't know. This is rather amusing." I shoot him a lazy, dirty look. The events of today mixed with the medicine are finally taking control. My eyes slowly shut and I can feel my head drop a little. Warm hands pick me up and lay me down again on the bed.
Kurama's phone buzzes just as he pulls the blankets over Amaryllis. He picks it up and sits at his desk across the room, facing Amaryllis.
"Yes, Yusuke?"
"How is she?"
Kurama sighs, "She is asleep now."
"Wanna explain how you two know each other? What the fuck is going on?"
Kurama pauses, staring at Amaryllis' sleeping form, "We have history. I'm not completely sure why she is here… all I know is that she is hiding from Endox."
"But, why is she hiding from this guy?"
"Honestly, Yusuke, it is not my place to say, especially over the phone." Why else would she be here but because she is hiding from her father? However, the reasons behind her being in hiding, he doesn't know. The memory of her looking up at him after she killed the hound, and the instant tears that sprang to her eyes, has stuck with him.
Yusuke groans on the other end, "I feel like such an asshole."
Kurama looks over the sleeping Amaryllis. She is just as beautiful as he remembered, even in her human form. Keeping himself from reaching out to her the first day he saw her in school was one of the hardest things he has ever had to do. Her long, thick, dark eye lashes flutter slightly against her cheeks as she dreams away in her drugged stupor. Her black hair is in a very messy bun, but it shines against the dim lamp light. Although his shirt is a little big on her, he can still make out the curve of her waist and the outline of her breasts. It's been very difficult acting as if she didn't exist all this time.
"Yo- Kurama- you there?"
"Yes, sorry Yusuke. I suppose I am also tired."
"Ya, ya I know. Koenma looked fucking pissed when he saw that… dog-thing."Yusuke yawns loudly on the other end. The conversation doesn't last much longer. Yusuke prods Kurama a little more about his relationship with Amaryllis, teasing and laughing as he went. But, other than that, it seems Yusuke was honestly worried about her.
Kurama sits in the chair a bit longer, staring at Amaryllis. Her being on his bed seems more of a dream than reality. If this were 18 years earlier, before he was forced into this human body, he would have just picked her up and left everything here behind. One of his biggest regrets is not being strong enough to whisk her away all those years ago. He shakes his head, and stands. He leans down and moves her bangs from her eyes, kisses her gently on her forehead, and leaves the room.
Thanks for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you think, any suggestions, or offer some advice. Whateva. Would really love to hear what you think or if you have any questions! I'll try my best to answer them. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far!