Hope you like this chapter! It might confuse you, and if it does, PM me and I'll explain anything you need.

Review!!!

CHAPTER 4

ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY.

EPOV.

"It's like, I can't even say what I think without fearing my father's reaction! Every time I try to change something in my life, he . . . he makes me feel like shit, y'know? Like I'm a stupid little boy who has to be guided into the right direction, and I hate it. I want to be able to choose! I want to be able to walk in a fucking street, and not be stared at by every shitty teenager who thinks I'm this great God, and I'm NOT! I wanna be free. . . I wanna be able to, go out and have fun, get a girl I like and I dunno . . . do something an ordinary guy my age would do. What's wrong with wanting something like that? What's wrong with wanting to be normal? I wanna quit, I wanna go to college and study something I like, and I wanna get married, have kids, teach those kids and help them realise their dreams. I don't wanna end up like those celebrities you see in TV who are so done up by drugs and alcohol, that they don't know the difference between one and two."

So, you want to change and stop being something you're not?

"Exactly. I live in this world, where money and fame is everything. People get married so they can attract the press, they break up and they have a massive multi-million dollar divorce. They make their kids go to private schools and make them live a hell of a life and I don't want that."

But you love music?

"Well, yeah, I obviously do. But . . . when I was a kid in High School, I used to imagine myself on a stage, singing stuff I believe in, and walking around with people treating me like an ordinary kid. Well, an ordinary kid with loads of money, but that's every kids dream, right? What kid doesn't want to be famous? I have all of that, and right now, I want to throw it all away and do something crazy, like walk the whole length from Germany to Spain or something like that. I want people to see that I am NOT a fucking loser who has nothing better do to but stand on a stage and scream my heart out. I want them to see the real me."

If you had the opportunity to go back to High School, and rearrange your life, would you do it?

"Yes. My father doesn't understand that maybe singing at six concerts a week could be tiresome. He doesn't understand that I'm just a nineteen-year-old guy who wants a life. An ordinary life where he could meet ordinary people, and do ordinary things. You know what I really want? To go to Pizza Hut. When I was in High School, I went once with my friend Jasper. I remember we ate loads and then felt sick afterwards. It was funny as fuck. Weird enough, I want to do that again. Eat pizza and feel sick afterwards. I don't wanna go to those shitty over eighteen parties with loads of champagne, but maybe got o one of those parties where it's all about sex and music. The only shag I get is if I am at a club and I pick up some model who I'm interested in"

Your father said you were . . . drowning yourself in alcohol. Is it true?

"Yes. And I'm glad to say that alcohol is my best friend. Emmett threatens that he'll throw 'em away, but I know he won't. I pay him to keep his silence."

Is it true you indulged on an orgy?

"WHAT? OF COURSE, I DID NOT! I like sex, but not enough to watch a group do it. That's . . . inhuman! Gross, no way would I do that!" this guy was NUTS! My 'doctor' – or rather, my fucking psychiatrist – thought I indulged on an orgy? Ew! No way! Gross! I don't even watch sex on TV coz I think the way they do it is . . . ew! I only like it when I'm the one doing it! Urgh, gross!

But you like sex?

"yes," I repeated tiredly, "don't you tell me you don't? you've got six kids!"

that is not random shag a day, Edward. It is love.

"Really? Never experienced that before. Even if . . . I have met this real nice girl . . ."

yes . . .?

"even though she refused to give me a drink, refused to sleep with me, and I don't even know her name, but . . . OK, so this morning I woke up in a flat, absolutely oblivious to the whole thing. I thought that maybe it was another one-night stand . . . but, I went to the kitchen and Pretty Girl-''

Pretty Girl?

"Yeah, that's what I call her coz she's a babe. And she looks good in a pair of jeans and baggy shirt and stuff. Anyway, Pretty Girl was fighting with a guy who I presume is her boyfriend. They were fighting and when he saw me, walk in the kitchen, he landed one on her."

You mean a kiss?

"Nope. A full on punch in the face. I felt so . . . angry when I saw he curl up on the floor like she was waiting for more, and even angrier when her boyfriend started calling her a slut and a whore and stuff. I tried to hit him, but I had this shitty hangover and I missed by that much," I held my thumb and forefinger a millimetre apart, "And I kicked his sorry ass." The bell stroke four and I was outta my seat and running for the door before you could say gin and vodka.

I have a weekly appointment with a health doctor. My father thinks that if I drink too much, then I'll be useless on the business department.

I walked in the cold streets, ignoring the stares of admirers and scrolled through the girl names on my blackberry.

Amelia

JC

Lucy, who's Lucy? OH! That Lucy . . . the Lucy that had followed me in the club and then took me to her place . . .

Natalie

Rose

Portia . . . Portia. ah, the sexy Spanish girl all tits and legs. I put the phone to my ear and waited patiently as it rang.

Finally, she picked up.

"Edward! Hi! I thought you'd never call!"

"Yeah, I thought I might not. I'm feeling a lil lonely here. Mind if I come round your place for a quick game?" I murmured.

"Oh my God, sure! You know where I live, right?"

"Sure." No, but I'll find someone who can tell me.

I headed for my car and sat there, thinking my options over.

Pretty Girl walked by, with Mike Newton, an arm slung carelessly round her shoulders. She saw me and smiled a little, without showing her 'boyfriend'. More like sexfriend.

Mmm, looked like a party was on, with that dress she was wearing . . . shit, she looked good. I watched her retreating and then started the car, heading for Portia's place.