Can you believe this is finally up? I can't!

I'm SOO sorry for putting this off for months. :( I've been so busy!

I wrote this in an hour, so it's pretty messy. I'll probably go back and edit later, but here it is!

Enjoy!

"Plum b- I mean, Scorpius, you can't stay there forever!"

I heard Albus's muffled voice through the dusty walls of the Room and Requirement. It had been forever since I had sat in this room, and I had almost forgotten how useful it was to relax and be by yourself – or, you know, hide from all of Hogwarts.

"Can't you see Plum Boy wants to be alone right now, Albus?" I called back irritably. "And it doesn't help that even YOU are joining in on it, dude." I could almost picture Albus's scrunched up expression through the other side of the wall, with a hand running automatically through his jet black hair.

"Hey, Scorp, you can't blame me. And at least I'm not singing the theme song. I'm pretty sure James and Fred started that; it's pure genius. He-e-e-e's plumm-m plum plum boy-y!"

That last comment hit my nerve. Pushing up my glasses, I thrust open the door and stood face-to-face with Albus Severus Potter.

"THERE'S A THEME SONG ABOUT ME NOW?" I managed to strangle out, before shoving Albus's in the chest. "This is all your fault, man!"

A smirk was appearing on my best friend's face, which made me want to push him again. You NEVER mess with a Malfoy – it may be the last thing you do before your living with your mommy for the rest of your life.

"Calm down, Scorp," Al said calmly, his green eyes glittering. "Your face is all red. You don't want to be called Tomato Man now, do you?"

I continued to stare daggers, before I realized he was right. The last thing I needed was to be nicknamed weird fruit hybrids. Like Plumato or…Tomplum… (oh heck no.) After a few seconds of yoga breathing, I calmed down enough that I could look at Albus without envisioning him being pummeled to death by trolls, or stabbed with knives covered in poisonous, sticky green substances.

"It's still your fault, dude. If you haven't given me that book, I would still be secretly admiring Rose from a distance, and I was perfectly fine with that!"

Albus shook his head, and gave me an exasperated look. "First of all, you weren't admiring Rose "secretly", okay? So stop telling yourself that. EVERYONE knew you fancied my cousin. Even the people who didn't KNOW you knew you fancied her. And second," he continued, ignoring my glares," it wasn't my fault. That's how it was supposed to be like."

I stared at Albus dumbfounded. "So you're telling me," I said slowly," that the first chapter was MEANT for me to make a complete fool out of myself in front of hundreds of thousands of people? You're kidding right? What kind of FAIL-SAFE book does THAT?"

"Well not exactly. But it's showing you that love hurts, dude. But if she means a lot to you, then you just have to keep trying," Albus said. "And if you don't believe me, look at where I am. I got through the whole book and I'm in the best relationship of my life. Just keep reading and you'll see."

He pulled out The Book from his backpack and held it out to me, carefully, like he was cradling a precious baby. I thought it looked more like a bomb.

"I don't know if I'm ready to trust it again, man," I said. "I think that book hates me. I'm not even kidding."

Albus put a hand on my shoulder. Oh gosh - more TV show drama? "I know how you must feel, Scorp. Humiliated, ruined, the joke of the school. But you know what's going to make it all better?"

I stared at him.

"That's right!" he said, nodding. "Chapter Two: Engaging in Daily Conversation." And with that he shoved it in my bag, clapped me on the back, and sauntered away oh-so Potter-like.

Chapter Two: Engaging in Daily Conversation.

Welcome back!

So, you've got to know Witch already. You know if she comes "here" often and you could probably recite all her traumatic fruit experiences from the top of your head! Now, it's time to take a baby-step and engage in DAILY CONVERSASTION!

Try to ease her into a conversation at least once a day. Show your funny side, you're sweet side, you're backside (haha just kidding – NOT YET, DUDE! SLOW DOWN!) you're real side! Make her feel comfortable around you.

But what do I talk about? you're probably wondering. And wonder no more. We've listed some easy, daily prompts to get your conversations going!

Have you heard about…

I can't believe….

Did you know…

Do you like….

I don't know about you, but I….

I can't believe….

Make up your own! Go all out!

Turn to Chapter Three after you're done!

I carefully scanned the page again for any mention of "plums". I was taking no chances. After seeing none, I closed the book and crossed my fingers. Hopefully Al was right. I'll have Rose all to myself once I did this chapter.

I woke up bright and early the next day. I had planned on styling my hair with DeZIred Hair (the one thing that Albus gave me that actually worked), but I had left it down stairs in the common room. Clad in my pajamas, I hopped down the stairs and into the common room to look for the miracle hair stuff.

I had originally planned to greet Rose by walking in a sexy, slow-mo to the Great Hall, where Rose would look up from her breakfast and come running into my arms, and I would lift her off the ground and twirl her in the air just like in the Muggle chick movies that I so wasn't watching last night. But unfortunately, all those plans literally came crashing down in front of me. After stumbling down the stairs unsexily, straightening out my jamies, I looked up to find the last person I wanted to see right now. Or first person and I wanted to see right now, but completely NOT under these circumstances – maybe in some nice robes, but certainly not in footsies.

Rose was sitting at a table in the common room, reading a book by the fireplace. The dim, morning light mixed in with the dancing flames of the fire, casting a beautiful glow across her face, and highlighting all the colors in her hair.

Because it was barely dawn, Rose and I were the only ones in the room. And an awkward silence hung in the air. I had completely forgotten to see if there was a "Move-On-From-Your-Plum-Situation" part in the book, and it seemed Rose hadn't forgotten the incident from yesterday.

For a moment, we both stood there, staring, before Rose cleared her throat.

"No plums today?" she asked, with her perfect Rose-sarcasm

"Erm, no. I hope not," I replied nervously, giving her a weak smile and sitting down at the opposite end of her table. "How's it going?"

She looked at me, a bit surprised if anything. She had probably expected me to say something along the lines of "PLUM" again. "Just getting some homework done before class," she said, stifling a yawn. Up close, I could see bags sitting heavily under her eyes, and she looked like she was going to fall asleep on the spot. Poor thing, she'd probably been up all night.

"Hmmmm," I murmured, because it was the only thing I could think of. Then, remembering the book, I asked her," Have you heard that Slughorn's gonna give us a surprise pop quiz today? He told Al because he's his "favorite student", and apparently there's going to be some pretty hard questions on there."

Rose's eyebrow's crinkled, and she buried her face in her hands. "Oh no! I'm horrible at potions! I completely failed yesterday's elixir!"

I backtracked immediately. The last thing I wanted was Rose to have an emotional breakdown when we were supposed to have a nice, pleasant conversation. "Don't fret about it!" I said hastily, but not unkindly. "I'm sure you'll do great, Rose. But if you're worried, just look in Chapter Four, and pay special attention when it's explaining antidotes."

Rose nodded intently, hanging onto my every word. "Okay-y-y," she said, while a yawn escaped her lips. "Thanks, Scorp. You're not always a big pain in the rear, you know that? I'll get started right –"

She broke off as her eye-lids dropped, and her head slumped down on her papers and books that cluttered the table.

Unsure what to do, I stood up and pat her hair. "That's right, Rose. You need the sleep, honey," I whispered softly, then picked up my DeZIred Hair bottle that was sitting next to the fireplace, and crept back up to my dormitory.

Hopefully, I'll update soon!

And don't forgot to review! ;)