Chapter 4 – Man of the House

Carlisle:

"What have I told you two about always having your phones on and always being reachable?" I asked both Edward and Bella who now were very edgy standing before me.

"Um…we're…uh…supposed to have them on all the time…uh…Dad…," Edward choked out.

"So why weren't they on?" I asked him.

"Dad…Edward…just wanted us to have some alone time," Bella blurted out.

"Bella, I'm asking Edward, he's old enough to answer for himself," I said to her.

"But it's the truth," Bella again butted in.

"Bella, you will have your chance to offer your input, but for now I'm speaking to Edward," I again said to her.

"But Dad…" Bella began again.

"Bella! Keep quiet or I'll give you an incentive to help you keep your mouth shut," I warned her.

"Bella, come on, don't make it worse for us," Edward said.

"He's always picking on you," Bella said to Edward.

"No he's not, I'm the one who turned our phones off," Edward said to her.

"Bella, I'm warning you little lady, you better drop that attitude right now if you know what's good for you," I warned her again.

"Come on Bella, don't get smart with Dad, you know the outcome," Edward pleaded with her.

"Sorry Dad," Bella said to me.

"That's better. Now, why did you two sneak off without asking my permission? Do you know how worried we all were wondering where you two were? I didn't know if you both tried sneaking off to town again or what. I even called Charlie to ask if he saw the two of you in town. Now he's worried also," I scolded them.

"What? Why did you call Charlie, Dad? Now he's upset," Bella complained.

"Don't ask me why I called him, you two were the ones who ran off without telling me. You know you're supposed to tell me where you are and if you want to go somewhere, you still need my permission, so don't give me that attitude or look, young lady. Wipe it off your face now if you know what's good for you," I said sternly to her.

"It's my fault Dad, it was all my idea," Edward said. "Bella said we needed to tell you and when she found out I turned our phones off, she was really upset," Edward said.

"Yes, well she still went along with you and she should have checked her phone herself," I said him.

"Figures!" Bella said with disgust.

"Come here, Young Lady," I called to her pointing to right in front of me.

"What if I don't want to," Bella said giving me a sarcastic look.

"Then I will come and get you and you will not be happy," I said to her. "Now get over here," I said again indicating the spot in front of me.

"Tsk!" Bella sounded off and angrily walked to me and stood where I was pointing and gave me a disgusted, daring look but would not look at me. She instead folded her arms in disgust and looked over to the side.

Grabbing her by the upper arm I turned her to the side and landed two hard smacks to her backside. She yelped with each one.

"Now, are you going to drop the attitude, or do I need to help dust that attitude off of you some more?" I asked her making her face me. I still had her by the arm.

"Attitude dropped," Bella said rubbing the sting I just landed on her hind end.

"Good, now Edward, why didn't you come to me and ask if you could go off for a bit?" I asked him.

"I don't know, it just seemed easier to sneak off and have a little time alone where no one knew where we were. We didn't hurt anything, Dad, can't you let this slide," Edward asked.

"No I can't. You had us all worried and no one knew where you were. What if there had been an emergency with Charlie and I needed to get in touch with you?" I put to them.

"Guess I didn't think of that," Edward said looking down.

"No, you didn't think at all. I don't put these rules in place just to make you come and let me know what you are doing, it's for the good of all. You both know better and now you need a reminder of just how important it is to follow the rules," I said grabbing a chair and placing it in the center of the room. Both Edward and Bella's eyes widened in horror when they realized what was going to happen.

"Come here, Edward," I said sitting down on the chair.

"No, come on Dad, don't spank us. I won't ever do it again," Edward promised.

"You better not, now get over here," I said looking him in the eye.

"Great, just great. Now look what you did, now everyone's going to know we got our butts smacked," Bella said angrily to Edward.

"No one knows I am doing this," I said to them.

"Oh yeah, like they won't figure it out when we come back and can't sit down. Especially if the three of us go back together," Bella griped.

"Should have thought of that before," I said still looking at Edward. He still hadn't moved. "Edward, I will not call you again," I said to him. He reluctantly made his way over to me and stopped at my right side. "Right here, over my left knee," I said patting my left knee.

"Aww, come on Dad, not over one knee, I hate that position," Edward said.

"Good, then maybe we won't have to go down this road again," I said patting my knee again. "Come on, get over!"

"Ugh! Why did I have to be so stupid," Edward said as he draped himself over my left knee.

"Ready?" I asked as I raised my hand and waited for his response.

"Yeah, go ahead," Edward said tensing up.

I then landed ten rapid stinging smacks to one side of his bottom and then ten fast stinging smacks to the opposite side. Edward yelped and kicked with each one. I let him keep his pants up and the smacks found their mark. I finished after that and let him settle down over my knee. He was not very comfortable in that position, so he tried his best to calm down quickly so he could get up as soon as he settled down.

"Going to keep your phone on at all times now?" I asked him.

"Yes sir, sorry Dad," Edward said.

"I'm sorry too son, don't make me have to remind you of this again," I said to him. "Don't you sneak off again, mister, or I'll make this spanking seem like a pat on the back," I warned him.

"Yes sir, I won't," Edward said.

I then helped him up. He was very happy to be off my knee and stand up. He stood there rubbing his stinging backside and gave me a pleading look.

"Don't even say it, she's getting it too," I said to him. Edward just put his head down and walked over to where Bella was standing.

"Sorry Love," Edward said kissing her cheek.

"I told you this wasn't a good idea," Bella said punching his arm. "Yeah I know, come here Bella," Bella said imitating me. I just shook my head and smiled. She walked over to me and stood there right in front of me. "Over the left knee, by chance?" Bella asked.

"Yes, the very same," I said patting it and smiling up at her.

"You don't have to be so happy about," Bella said to me as she plopped herself across my left knee.

"I'm always happy to have my baby girl on my lap," I said teasing her.

"Yeah, on your lap, not over it," Bella griped. "You wouldn't be so happy if you had your back-end sticking up in the air over your Dad's knee waiting for him to fine tune it," she added.

"It does need some fine tuning, doesn't it? It seems to have a sour note to it. Let me see if I can straighten that out and get it back in tune," I said landing a good smack to her left side.

"Ouch! Ugh! I hate how he makes it sound so pleasant," Bella griped gritting her teeth.

I then administered the same treatment to Bella as I did to Edward. Bella did the same dancing over my knee trying to dodge the smacks but had no luck either as each smack found its mark and made quite an impression on her. She was howling also as I landed the final ones giving her backside the fine tuning it deserved. She was singing with vigor as I finished.

"Never again do I want to call and be sent to voicemail! You better never turn those phones off again," I warned them. "Get up Bella, we're going back to the Lodge and you two are working in the same room I am for the next week," I informed them.

"Oh great, we'll never be able to sit if we have to be right by Dad," Bella lamented.

"Sorry Bella, I didn't mean to get us in trouble," Edward said grabbing and hugging her.

"Well, you did. You should have listened to me. Now I know how Dad feels," Bella said giving Edward a smirk.

"Uh, did I hear that right? You know how I feel that he did not listen to you? Where have I heard that before?" I asked looking around in the air for an answer.

"He always has to make like he's so neglected," Bella said to Edward who laughed.

"All I ask is for you to follow the rules so we can all enjoy ourselves and not worry about each other. I don't like having that panicked feeling when I can't get in touch with my children. I just want you all to be safe, now come over here," I called to them.

"You go first," Bella said pushing Edward ahead of her.

Edward slowly and hesitantly walked over to me and stood there giving me a wary look not knowing what to expect. I reached forward and pulled him in for a tight hug gripping him tightly now that I knew they were both okay. I then released him a little and motioned for Bella to come to me also. She quickly flew into my embrace. I hugged both of them dearly and kissed both their foreheads.

"I was so worried about you two and so was your mother, don't do this again. All you had to do was ask and I would have let you go off to the cottage or the meadow. No more sneaking around," I said to them.

"Yes Dad," they both answered.

"Let's get back. Come on, I have to call Charlie on the way," I said as we headed back to the lodge.

Meanwhile at the Lodge:

"Hey, master carpenter, what happened to your owl trap?" Paul asked Emmett laughing.

"Pops said I couldn't build it," Emmett said. "I know it would have worked too, it was such a good idea," Emmett opined.

"Well, he's not here now, build it at vampire speed. He won't know," Paul encouraged him.

"Hey, that's right, I think I will," Emmett said and got to work.

In no time the doghouse/owl trap was finished. Emmett was quite proud of it as it looked like a doghouse with a door on it that swung open. He happily showed it to Paul and Aidan.

"Look, it's finished. What do you think?" Emmett said.

"Looks great, put it up in the tree and test it out, it's getting near dusk," Paul said.

As he said that, Jake and Seth pulled up with the load of pizzas. They got out and started unloading all the pizzas. Everyone came outside now that the food wagon had arrived.

"Okay, food's here, everyone help take the pizzas in," Jake called out.

"Hey, while everyone's here, get a load of my owl trap," Emmett called out. "Hey, gimme a piece of pizza to bait my trap with," Emmett said grabbing into a box and pulling a piece of pizza out.

He then jumped up high into a large pine tree and set the owl trap on the branch, he then hopped up a few branches above it and sat there waiting.

"Oh no, he actually built it and he's got it in the tree," Jake said.

Everyone came out to see his trap. They were all looking up the tree and snickering. Paul and Aidan couldn't believe he made that and thought he would trap an owl in there.

"Hey Emmett, what if a squirrel gets in there," Paul called up.

"I'll take care of that," Emmett said and was doing something to the front of the doghouse. "There, that will make sure only owls go in," Emmett said proudly.

"What'd ya do?" Jake called up.

"I wrote "OWLS ONLY" above the door," Emmett said giving a 'thumbs up' sign.

Paul and the Pack dissolved into laughter. So did Billy and Sam and Esme.

"That a boy, Emmett. Now nothing but owls will go inside," Jake said giving the thumbs up sign to him. "I told you Dad should have a team of psychiatrists study him," Jake said to Jasper and Seth. They were laughing too.

"See, I told you once these gears start turning, there's no stopping it," Emmett said proudly pointing to his brain.

"Too bad he's missing a couple of gears," Jake said. The others all laughed at that.

Edward, Bella and I were making our way back to the Lodge. We heard the commotion and talking going on as we got nearer. We were wondering what was going on. At least I was, Edward and Bella were both pouting.

"I can't believe he wrote "Owls Only" on the doghouse. What a dope," Paul said laughing.

"Now, now, that's my bear you're talking about, Paul," Esme cautioned him. After that was said, commotion started in the tree with Emmett yelling.

"Chirp, chirp, chirp," an angry squirrel was squawking at Emmett.

"What is going on here," I asked as we arrived at the lodge. I had stopped right under the tree unbeknownst what I was under. Edward and Bella saw what the others were looking at and joined in laughing

"Ahhh! Hey, it's that pissed off squirrel from the Christmas tree! It's still ticked off at me," Emmett yelled. "Shut up squirrel! Get away you little pest," Emmett called at it. He then started swatting at it and it jumped toward him squawking all the more. "Get away, ya noisy pest! Where's an owl when you need one," Emmett yelled. "Oohh! Ooops! Whoa!" Emmett yelled.

Emmett had been swatting at the squirrel who was still squawking at him and he knocked his doghouse/trap out of the tree, which landed right on top of me and went down and covered the tops of my arms which kept me from taking the doghouse off. I couldn't see out because the door was closed. I was stuck!

"Hey! My trap," Emmett yelled jumping down. Seeing me he immediately came over and stood there looking at me. "Pops, what happened?" He asked.

"Open this door," I yelled to him. Emmett then opened the door of the trap and revealed my face glaring at him. I could hear the others all laughing and carrying on.

"Pops, what are you doing in my trap," Emmett asked now joining the others in laughing.

"Get this thing off of me," I said to him. I could even hear Billy, Esme and Sam laughing. I saw my children and the pack practically rolling on the ground.

"He's not hurt is he?" Emily asked.

"No Emily, we're hard as marble, nothing would hurt us," Esme explained to her.

"Emmett, when I get my hands free, you better run…now get this thing off of me," I said to him.

"Why Pops? You're the 'man of the house,'" Emmett said laughing as the others about split their guts laughing.

"I'm going to blister your butt," I said as I managed to grab hold of him. I then marched him over to the stack of boards.

"No Pops, I'll get it off you," Emmett pleaded.

I put my left foot on the pile of lumber and boards that were stacked there and threw him over my knee anchoring him down with my left arm. As I raised my right hand, my door on the doghouse/trap slammed shut.

"Emmett, open my door so I can see where I'm spanking you," I said to him.

"He's not really going to open the door for Doc Cullen is he?" Paul asked my sons.

"Oh yes he will," Jake said.

"Here, wait a minute Pops, I'll open it for you," Emmett said to me as he turned around and opened the door. "There ya go, better?"

"Thank you Emmett, now face down," I said to him as I raised my hand again.

"Aww man, Pops, you tricked me," Emmett said now realizing what he had done.

I then landed about 6 smacks to his backside for him as he protested loudly.

"I told you not to make this stupid trap and you did it anyway! What if it had hit Billy or Emily," I said to him.

"Oww! I'm sorry Pops," Emmett said. "I didn't mean for it to fall."

"Yes, well if you would have listened to me, you wouldn't be in this position," I said to him halting my hand.

"I didn't think you'd mind if I tried it to see if it worked. You've always had an 'open door' policy," Emmett said now laughing along with the rest who started again with renewed vigor.

"Emmett Dale Cullen, I'm going to blister your butt," I said as I walloped him 12 more times for his disobedience and then let him up. He stood up and rubbed his backside.

"Gee Pops, you sure can make an impression," Emmett said.

"Get this thing off of me right now unless you want to bend back over," I ordered him.

"Pops you look right at home in this thing," Emmett teased.

"Emmett, so help me…," I said glaring at him. Emmett then closed the door on the doghouse and then knocked on it.

"What?" I yelled out.

Emmett opened the door and said, "Is the doctor in?"

This set the others off again. While they were all laughing, I managed to wiggle my shoulders out and then tossed the doghouse to the side. I now stood glaring at Emmett with my arms crossed over my chest. Emmett was so busy laughing and talking to the others, he hadn't noticed I escaped from his trap!

"Man Paul, you were right. I'm glad I went ahead and built it," Emmett laughed.

I then looked over at Paul and set my sights on him. As I did, he now stopped laughing as he now looked over my way. As his eyes met mine, he gulped and took a step back. He now had a worried look on his face.

"Hey, my trap," Emmett shouted running to it. "Good, you didn't hurt it," Emmett said.

"I didn't hurt it!" I said in disbelief.

"Yeah Pops, you didn't hurt it, all I have to do is fix it up a little and it'll be good as new as long as you don't try living in it!" Emmett said holding the trap up for me to see.

"Ha ha, hey Doc, you can hang your shingle on it!" Paul said laughing which got the others going again. Smart alecks!

"Come here, Paul," I said crooking my finger at him. Paul didn't budge until Jake got behind him and shoved him forward.

"Hey, cut it out, Jake," Paul said turning to Jake but now turning his attention back to me. I had flashed over to him and took him by surprise. "Uh oh, Doc…I…uh…I…um…," he tried getting out.

I grabbed hold of him and turned him to the side and landed ten hard smacks to his backside. He was stunned and howled and tried turning away from me. I had too good of a hold on him.

"Ouch! Owww! Oww!" Doc I'm sorry," Paul howled.

"How funny is it now, Paul?" I asked him shaking my head at him.

"Not very funny at all. I'm sorry Doc," Paul said. "Man that stings! You sure you just used your hand on me?"

"You should be sorry and yes it was only my hand. Don't encourage him, and behave yourself or there is more where that came from," I said to Paul.

"Yes sir! Wow, that smarts!" Paul complained as he tried to rub away the sting.

I walked back over to Emmett and that miserable trap thing he made. He was still proudly holding it in his hands. I turned it toward me so I could read what he had written on it.

"Owls Only! For crying out loud, Emmett!" I said to him shaking my head.

"What?" Emmett asked, clueless...

To Be Continued…

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