Disclaimer - see chapter one. Or two or three.
Shameless advertising - my other fic, To Master The Dark
So here's another one. Suggestions are welcome. Read on.
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Sirius Black
Third Year
Professor Remus Lupin was munching contently on a large piece of toast, absolutely covered in butter.
The bread was toasted to perfection, just the way he liked it. Golden flakes fell onto the plate below as he took another enormous bite.
"Really Remus, must you completely slather your toast in butter? It's practically dripping."
The werewolf tried in vain to fight down a blush. Years after he had passed out of Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall still had the ability to make him feel like he was five.
"No Professor," he replied, unable to stop the response.
McGonagall looked highly amused, perhaps even satisfied. Two places over, Snape scowled.
Well, scowled more. He did his hardest to be the scariest, meanest teacher in the school, but many students both liked her, and were terrified of her. Even the Weasley twins were scared of her, and they weren't scared of him! His black eyes searched with purpose, landing on the diabolical duo. The twins were whispering together, and Snape fixed them with his best glare-of-death.
Down, somewhere around the middle of the Gryffindor Table, the twins seemed to sense his gaze and looked up at him. They both waved merrily and resumed their whispered conversation.
"If looks could kill..." Fred muttered.
"I have a bad feeling he's going to be worse than usual," George whispered. They didn't really need to whisper, but they enjoyed the paranoia their whispering seemed to induce in their fellow students. And teachers. Even now, the students across them were eyeing them very carefully.
"He will be," George replied matter-of-factly. "We swapped his dead toads for lives one, didn't we? He'll know it was us."
"Detention tonight," Fred agreed. He didn't seem to be very unhappy with the thought. When you've done as many detentions as he had...
"Detention," echoed George, before a grin split his face. "Worth it."
All the students around them left in a hurry as the terror twins cracked identical smiles, with a little evil cackling thrown in.
Remus Lupin observed all this, smiling to himself. The Weasley twins were really brilliant. If only they applied half their potential to their test papers... a frown crossed his face as he remembered their answer papers he had corrected the night before.
Horrendous, really. Their answers had almost given him a headache.
A small barn owl winged it's way towards the front table, and settled down in front of the werewolf.
He looked in surprise at the bird. "For me?"
The owl hooted. Remus got the feeling that it would roll its eyes if it could.
The professor untied the letter, and the owl flew away. He finished his glass of juice and leaned back, opening the letter.
Dear Moony
I recently got my hands on an owl. I was about to buy a Firebolt and use the owl to send it to him when I had a wonderful idea. I could send a letter to you, and explain everything.
Genius, really. I should have done this a long time ago, as soon as I broke out of Azkaban.
A stroke of brilliance. Like that time I had that idea involving butterbeer, the girls dormitory and three cats. Remember that one? Of course you do, I can almost see the grin on your face, you pervy old Professor, you!
Seriously. (haha-pun!) Just read this letter through. I was not the secret keeper.
I repeat, I was not the secret keeper.
Peter was the secret keeper. He betrayed James and Lily. I cornered him, and he framed me.
I have proof. Peter is at Hogwarts right now. The rat is hiding in his animagus form as the Weasleys pet. He's been living in the same dormitory as Harry for ages!
I'm so sorry Moony, I thought you might be the traitor in our ranks. Please forgive me. It was Peter all along. You can make it right Remy-poo (remember Cassie? Hah, I do. Three disastrous dates for you, three priceless memories for me.)
Capture the rat, and get my name cleared.
I have faith in you Moony.
Seriously,
Sirius
or Padfoot
also known as Stubby
also known as The Gryffindor Pest
the student with the most detentions in a single month ( I know you're still jealous)
P.S. - Can you please buy yourself some nice robes. I've seen you walking around the grounds, and you look like an idiot.
P.P.S. - Now I'm thinking I should just corner you when you're walking the grounds and explain everything to you. But this is the longest letter I've ever written, it would be a shame not to send it.
Sirius Black was a free man, less than a week later.
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Thank you for reading.
Recommendation - The Many Harry Potters of Little Hangleton, by VivyPotter. Absolutely hilarious. Very enjoyable.
Suggestions, feedback is very welcome.
toodles,
timefreak