Chapter 4 Shinigo

"Ah," Tsubame sighed contentedly, "It's so peaceful on Mount Hakurei; I feel like I'll never be hurt again."

I walked a few steps and groaned, clutching my stomach. I was not sure which planet Tsubame lived on but in mine, I was in a constant seat of nauseating pain. It was like getting kicked in the balls. Beside me, Aikotsu also winced in pain and muttered curses under his breath. I turned to him, forming a pained and wry smile towards him. "Feels shit, doesn't it, Ai?" I asked, and Aikotsu nodded in reply.

I groaned again. Mount Hakurei was possibly the nastiest place I had ever been to. From a distance, it had looked quite splendid, with a grand structure with the tip white like snow. But as we climbed the mountain, it got steadily foggier until we could see no more than a few paces in front of us. Not to mention that feeling I got being just being there!

"It's the barrier around this place," Aikotsu explained. "To prevent demons from entering this holy ground, a barrier was made. Although we're humans, we can feel it too. Apparently," he coughed, glancing at Tsubame, "Those with impure thoughts are the only ones who have trouble up here."

I sighed. I didn't see how this could be fair. Over the entire duration of our trip to Mount Hakurei, Tsubame had done nothing but flirt with a non-responsive Okikotsu and bounce off invisible walls. Okikotsu carried the Tsurugi Chisai had given me strapped to his back. Because Aikotsu and I were bored, we decided to come up with a name for the Tsurugi. We eventually decided on Choken for no reason other than it sounded impressive.

Okikotsu seemed to double over with the weight of Choken. Perhaps the only reason why he was able to carry the sword at all was for his sheer size. Okikotsu never communicated with any of us, so I had no idea what he was feeling. Not that I was overly concerned or anything but we had to find Bankotsu soon or else Okikotsu would not be able to carry the luggage any longer. I considered carrying Choken myself but I could only manage a few paces before I had to put it down and rest my straining arms. But if it came to worst, I told myself, I would have to carry Choken in Okikotsu's steed. And who knows? Maybe the experience would make me stronger. I knew, however, it was impossible to do that on Mount Hakurei. The atmosphere of the place already deadened my limbs and it frustrated me. Not only was Mount Hakurei bringing out my weakness, it was also bringing out Okikotsu's strength. He was unperturbed by the mountain's barrier and I resented that. It showed that Okikotsu was a better person than I was, according to some stupid rock.

Not to mention Tsubame. How could she so quickly forget me for a hideous-looking man-giant that couldn't speak Japanese? (Well, he could, but that was beside the point.) Of course I was jealous!

Aikotsu halted abruptly and sucked in air through his teeth. I flanked at him and he said, "There's nothing here."

I felt a sinking sensation in my stomach. "You sure?" I asked, trying not to let too much doubt seep into my voice.

Aikotsu answered yes. I sighed. We eventually got off the mountain but only after carefully examining the area. We still had not gone past the barrier but it was getting dark. So with flailing spirits we left, but I promised to myself that I would cross that barrier tomorrow and find Bankotsu. I suspected that he was beyond it.

I could not help thinking that the barrier on Mount Hakurei was not the only barrier I would have to overcome for my happy ending.

Once we had reached the foot of the mountain, I suggested we set up camp and stay the night. Suddenly, I felt… homesick. Tsubame and I had left our home without any qualms but now I felt like I was still on Mount Hakurei. I scowled and tried not to think about it.

Tsubame looked very miserable as Aikotsu and Okikotsu started lighting a fire in the middle of the clearing. I wondered whether she was going through what I was feeling.

"Tsubame," I said, "Would you like to go to the river near here and bathe with me?" I added, "Just like old times?" The days before Bankotsu's resurrection seemed so far away.

Tsubame looked at me and for one sickening moment, I thought she was going to refuse. Then she broke into a wide grin and exclaimed, "Of course, big brother, but can Okikotsu come too?"

For a moment I had a frightening mental image of a naked Okikotsu bathing in the stream. I shuddered. "No Okikotsu, Tsubame," I growled. Tsubame nodded cheerfully.

"Okay, big brother!" she cried, and hurried off to do my bidding.

The stream was not too far from our designated camp spot. It looked fairly clean. I stripped quickly and entered the water, shivering slightly. I was used to cold water but it still felt wonderful to have the mud and grime ebb away. I was being cleansed of Mount Hakurei.

Tsubame also entered the water and splashed me in the face the moment she got in. I splashed her back and for a few minutes, we engaged in a water fight, an amusing diversion. After that, we swam, although I had to stay near Tsubame since she had a tendency to sink like a rock on water. And suddenly, the homesickness vanished and I was at ease with myself again. As I performed a few strokes in the water, I reflected that it must have had something to do with Tsubame.

While we lay drying on the grass, Tsubame edged closer towards me. "Hey, big brother," she began hesitantly.

I raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Tsubame?" I responded.

My sister stared at the water, unable to look me in the eye. "Why don't you like Okikotsu that much?"

"Oh, so you noticed?"

"It wasn't that hard," Tsubame admitted rather bashfully.

I was silent for a moment, and then I asked, "Why do you like him?" I didn't mean to be scathing but after hearing the words come out of my mouth, I knew that was how I probably sounded.

"When I first saw Okikotsu," said Tsubame rather slowly as she continued to gaze at the water, "I noticed that he did not have a very pretty face." (So she admits it, I thought.) "Maybe lots of people notice the same thing and I thought that it wouldn't be very nice if people thought you didn't have a pretty face. So I made up my mind to be nice to Okikotsu and make up for it."

I scowled.

I suddenly noticed my nakedness when I heard some unhurried footsteps coming along the river bank. Turning my gaze sharply, I saw a young peasant girl who was holding a bundle of dirty-looking clothes. She went very red and I could feel myself going the same way.

The girl mumbled something that sounded like "Sorry." She began to back away rather hastily.

"Do you live around here?" Tsubame asked suddenly, apparently unperturbed by the awkwardness. That only made things even more awkward.

The girl started violently. "Oh… yes. I live in a village not far over that way." She pointed to the hills, which the sun had begun to retreat behind. Then she bowed. "Forgive me, you must be travellers. We villagers use that river to wash our clothes in, not bathe in. I-I'll leave you to get dressed." That said, she continued to back away shame-facedly until she was behind a tree a relatively safe distance away.

Taking the hint, Tsubame and I briskly donned our clothes. I was all for a change of scenery but Tsubame took my hand and wordlessly lead me over to the intruding girl. She was still there. If her face was not so blatantly red, it probably would not have made much of a spectacle. She was about my age.

"Hey there," I said.

The girl looked up, and then quickly looked down at her feet. I sighed in annoyance and glanced sharply at Tsubame.

I couldn't believe it. She was smiling blithely on. I wondered if she'd be flashing her pearly whites at King Yama when the judgement time came - on the assumption that there actually was a judgement time. "Pleased to meet you," she was saying, her ridiculous smile still plastered on her face. "My name's Tsubame and this is Chokotsu."

Oh great, I thought wearily. Now Tsubame would start chatting up with this girl and we'd never get to camp at all! What a tiresome situation.

I turned my attention to the girl, who seemed slightly less red now. "I'm Emi," she was saying. "I thought you were the half-demon come to terrorise our village."

"Half-demon?" Tsubame enquired innocently. I narrowed my eyes.

In the village I had lived in, there had once lived a half-demon. I remember when I was very little; the villagers banded together and killed the half-demon. For the safety of the village they had said. That was all that I knew of half-demons.

Emi was saying something. "Our village once was home to a half-demon named Shinigo. He had no family but we villagers became his family.

"Then one day, Shinigo ran away. Months passed and he never returned, so we gave him up for lost."

"Why did Shinigo run away?" Tsubame interrupted, eyeing Emi curiously.

"Who knows how half-breeds think?" Emi replied somewhat scornfully as she shrugged her shoulder.

"Go on with the story," I said.

Emi nodded. "So anyway, we villagers were certainly surprised when last week, some of the outer houses were ravaged and our rice crops spoiled. The next day, one of the farmers spotted Shinigo around the forest. He had returned with a vendetta against us! Every night, there has been a raid of some sort. It just shows what happens if you trust half-breeds!"

I couldn't help but notice how Emi had stopped kindly referring to Shinigo as a 'half-demon' and was now calling him a 'half-breed.' Pretty racist family Shinigo had there. But it hardly mattered anyhow. "How much would you pay us for slaying this half-demon for you?" I asked, for the idea had occurred to me and it sounded pretty good. Like something Bankotsu might do, I thought gleefully.

Although rather taken aback at my proposal, Emi said she would ask the village headman about it. And so before long, I managed to rouse Aikotsu and Okikotsu, and they approved of my idea (or at least, Aikotsu did; Okikotsu looked like he didn't care either way). I couldn't help but notice, to my extreme displeasure, that Emi started taking us more seriously only after seeing Okikotsu. When I thought about it, it made sense; after all, Okikotsu was big and he did have a heavy Tsurugi strapped to his back. But still, it wasn't like he was the leader or anything. What was even more frustrating was that when the squat headman was making the dealings with us, he spoke to Okikotsu and it took him a while to realise that I was the one responsible for everything. He had looked pretty shocked but I guess we really were a strange bunch.

I asked that in return for slaying Shinigo we ought to receive a free meal and accommodation for a night. Money was the least of my concern. I just wanted to prove myself. The headman said yes, and I suspected that he suspected that we wouldn't actually do much. That thought made me chuckle. Who really cared about what one ill-informed man thought?

Aikotsu, Okikotsu and I were dumped outside the village gates and told to wait there, for Shinigo was sure to arrive at sundown. (Tsubame remained in the village.) The gates looked as if they could be knocked down by a feather and didn't serve much of a use as a barricade. There was a small forest surrounding the village, one that looked as if it could easily hide a rogue half-demon. The village itself looked very poorly defended, which made me wonder why it wasn't in a worse condition that what it was, if Shinigo had come every night for the past week. Only about a dozen men patrolled the outside of the village and were equipped with weak-looking crossbows – certainly not enough to fight a half-demon. I thought to myself, 'What's going on here?'

When it was almost completely dark, Emi and Tsubame came to us bearing some fruit. It was a poor supper but at least it showed they cared about whether or not we starved. Emi explained, "We sneaked out to visit you. Are you sure you'll be okay?" She looked worried. I assured her that we could handle the job; she nodded; then she and Tsubame left. Both of them still looked worried.

"Got a girlfriend now?" Aikotsu remarked idly. "Well that was quick."

"Shut up," I said.

There were a number of reasons why I said this. First and foremost, I was embarrassed. Also, I had heard a noise coming from the forest. It sounded like something big.

"Shinigo," I said.

The watchmen around me started yelling something but I wasn't listening to them. Instead, I squinted towards the forest and strained my eyes searching… searching. Was there a large dark shape I could see, approaching from the forest? Or were those movements just the trees in the distance swaying in the wind? I couldn't be sure. In spite of what I had said to Emi, I couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive.

I glanced at Aikotsu. He had gotten to his feet, pulled out his chain of love. "Do you see it?" he asked me.

I nodded.

For the dark shape had come closer and could now be seen by the torches the watchmen had lit. That dark shape was without a doubt the half-demon we sought. The yelling around us became louder than ever, loud enough to make my ears ring.

Shinigo was hideous. Not only was he uglier than Okikotsu, he was taller and broader too. He was feral. He had fangs, very big fangs which had saliva simply dripping off them. Despite being only half-oni, Shinigo looked terrifying – especially his eyes, a hunter's eyes filled with bloodlust. He was to me scarier than a full-demon. How…?

"That can't be a half-demon," Aikotsu breathed as Shinigo drew closer with heavy-ragged breaths.

"Why not?" I asked, not sure if I had heard right. The watchmen were now organising themselves to shoot bolts at Shinigo, now that he had come within range.

Aikotsu said something but I didn't hear anything definitive that time.

Twelve crossbow bolts zipped through the air, aimed at Shinigo. I watched as Shinigo slickly manoeuvred out of the way in a show of surprisingly deft footwork for such a large being. Shinigo glowered and hissed; the dark only added to his spine-chilling features. I took a deep breath. Shinigo was not going to frighten me.

The next volley of bolts was way off the mark; those who held their bows were obviously suffering from shaking arms. Again, Shinigo dodged the arrows with consummate ease. This was not the way to do it.

"Stop shooting!" I heard one of the watchmen call. "Hold your bows ready; let's see what the half-breed does!"

For a moment there was silence; then the men began to whisper among themselves. Hushed, fearful whispers. Shinigo's deep, harsh breathing could now be heard a mile away.

Shinigo drew closer. The whispering increased in volume. Then Shinigo stopped. He stopped snarling; his breathing slowed down; his tensed up shoulders began to relax. What was happening now?

A hoarse moan escaped from Shinigo's throat. It sounded like he was in pain. Then there was harsh panting for a while as Shinigo's limbs thrashed about in random directions. Another moan. And Shinigo's eyes bulged. He grabbed his neck, poised to throttle himself.

The fierce lion was in terrible agony. I did not know why Shinigo was acting in such a way. Was it a ploy? But… the pain looked real enough. Pitiful, truly pitiful.

And then I heard Shinigo croon something, almost too softly to hear: "Please kill me." More writhing, then more inhuman groans.

I stood there with my eyes fixed on Shinigo. Did he really ask us to kill him? How could he? I couldn't imagine people willing themselves to die. That took all the pleasure out of killing.

"What is this?" I demanded, and I scowled.

One of the watchmen stopped whispering and answered, "The half-breed does this every night. He comes out here looking like he wants to kill us all and then he just falls apart. He always goes before sunrise. We're not sure why."

Aikotsu surprised me by turning around quickly and inhaling sharply. He seemed as if he had been enlightened by the information. "Do you mean," he asked quickly, "Shinigo has never tried to ravage this village?"

"No, but a couple of us always keep an eye on him in case he does," was the reply.

"I see," Aikotsu said, turning his head back towards Shinigo's general direction and frowning.

Aikotsu explained to me what he had figured out. Contrary to what he had first thought, Shinigo was a half-demon, only one that was close to having his soul devoured. At a certain point in a half-demon's life, his existence may be threatened and his demon blood may awaken. That explained why Shinigo looked so feral, since half-demons didn't normally look like that. But a half-demon's flesh would not be able to support the demon blood, thus Shinigo would either be in rapture – when he was killing something – or in terrible pain. Eventually, Shinigo would lose all of his memories and be driven only by instinct, and when that happened, the village would truly be in peril.

"Pitiful," I said.

"We must kill Shinigo," Aikotsu said. "And we must do it soon."

I understood what Aikotsu said. The thought of walking towards Shinigo and finishing him off no longer repulsed me. Now I knew why the half-demon wanted to die. I vaguely wondered what kind of person Shinigo had been, before he had been reduced to the grounded, snivelling wreck which I approached to kill.

Shinigo's back was turned to me and his moaning sounds were continuing; I now knew this to be his way of crying. When I understood that, I almost felt as if I didn't want to kill Shinigo any more, but I did because his crying was starting to get on my nerves.

I could not wield Choken to cut off Shinigo's head so I asked Aikotsu to use his chain of love. He said it was his pleasure. I was glad that Aikotsu did not seem to have any sense of pity for other beings because it certainly made the job easier. Aikotsu lifted his chain and grinned.

It was then that Shinigo whipped around not looking like he wanted to die any more. More like, he wanted us to die. Alarm bells rang in my head and somewhere I could hear the watchmen shouting. Danger!

"Aikotsu, look out!" I yelled, pushing my friend out of the way. At that moment, Shinigo whipped out his deadly claws and would have run them right through Aikotsu if he had been standing where he had been just a second before.

That was close. As I lay there panting, half congratulating myself for staying alive, half amazed at what an idiot I had been, I noticed Okikotsu striding towards me as if he didn't notice that Shinigo at all. That frightened me.

"Do you need anything?" he asked in a flat voice.

Shinigo growled and lunged again. Pumped with adrenaline, I dodged to the side.

"Do I need anything?!" With exasperation, I replied, "We're fighting a dirty, great half-demon and that's all you can say?! What are you – thick?!"

As this exchange had occurred, Shinigo had turned his attention towards Aikotsu. Snarling, the half-demon swiped his dirty, dangerous talons at Aikotsu, who skipped backwards, his grim countenance regarding his foe. The chain of love was tossed at Shinigo's thick arms and curled around it. Snarling again and looking like death, Shinigo tugged on the chain ferociously. Aikotsu struggled to remain on balance. He pulled with all of his strength, and the links of the chain squeezed so tightly on Shinigo's arm it must have burned raw red. But Shinigo showed no pain – only lust.

Then I heard a clinking of chain and a snapping sound that made me wince. And I could only stare at Shinigo. He had brought his head down to the chain and put his mouth around the taut line connecting him to Aikotsu; and his fangs severed the tempered steel.

Aikotsu grasped his suddenly loose chain in his hand; his eyes went wide and he was motionless. He must have thought, "This could not be happening." I too was incredulous, for it had never occurred to me that the chain of love could break. (Afterwards, Aikotsu related the incident as a case of having one's heart broken.)

Even after snapping Aikotsu's chain, Shinigo wasn't finished. He shook off what was still coiled around his arm and lunged again, claws outstretched. My legs were rotted to the spot. My mouth was open in horror. Aikotsu did not make a sound.

I saw only a blur dart in front of my eyes and stop between Shinigo and Aikotsu. It was Okikotsu. He held Choken tightly and readied himself. I blinked, and in that second I saw Shinigo knock Choken out of Okikotsu's hands. Then Shinigo drew back his other arm and punched Okikotsu square in the face. Despite Okikotsu's considerable size, he took a step back and reflexively brought a hand to his battered face. Aikotsu quailed behind him.

I wondered then whether I had bitten off more than I could chew engaging this half-demon. My eyes fell on the discarded Choken and a wild, crazy idea came to mind. When one is fighting for his life, the first idea, however defiant of all logic it may be, always seems good.

I was too caught up in staying alive to realise that Choken did not seem as heavy as normal. I only grasped it firmly in my hands and rushed a few paces over to Shinigo. Only too late did the half-demon turn around; I stabbed him with Choken. I only hit his side; there had been no time for me to aim for a better spot.

Shinigo let out a terrible scream and tried to retaliate, but at that moment, Okikotsu jumped onto him and, arms straining, held him down. I tried to draw Choken out of Shinigo's body but for some reason, I did not have the strength to pull it out. That was certainly strange, I thought, frowning; the sword was not in too deep. I could not try drawing Choken out again because Shinigo was thrashing about too quickly. Cursing, I stood safely out of the way.

As I watched Shinigo and Okikotsu tussle, I felt my respect for Okikotsu increase. I recalled what Tsubame had said earlier about him; and also that Okikotsu had ungrudgingly fought for me. I had not cared for Okikotsu's perspective, thinking he had not one. But he was loyal to us for no real clear reason. At last, I understood why Mount Hakurei affected Okikotsu so differently than it had affected me.

I was shaken from my thoughts by Aikotsu, who had scrambled up beside me, cursing. "I can't believe this!" he said as he indicated towards his broken chain. "Can you believe it?" he asked me. Before I could reply, he had gone off again with another question. "Hey, what's your Choken doing stuck in Shinigo's side?"

"I stabbed him," I replied. Then I added quickly, "But I don't know how I did it."

Although the wound Choken had delivered had been a grievous one, Shinigo did not seem to suffer pain as I had noted earlier. He was a killing machine, oblivious to everything but his lust for blood. He was, without a doubt, a fierce foe.

Suddenly, Shinigo went still. Then his body trembled violently and he closed his eyes. Okikotsu's chest was heaving but he too stopped, and he backed away slightly. Perhaps he was curious as to what Shinigo would do. I myself wondered whether Shinigo was unleashing some powerful ability. If he was, I wasn't sure what we'd do as we were all exhausted. I considered trying to draw Choken again but I didn't dare approach Shinigo.

Then his eyes opened; and instantly, I sucked in breath. Shinigo's eyes were no longer red; they were yellow – his normal eye colour. Shinigo staggered a little and his breathing became heavy.

"I don't want…" he murmured, "…not anymore."

Then he closed his eyes and died.

The next few minutes went by in a blur. The watchmen, who had witnessed the entire battle, seemed rather shocked at Shinigo's sudden demise. But they seemed joyful enough when I cut off Shinigo's head and brought it to them. (I also retrieved Choken.) I took another bath in the river to wash off the blood and gore that had managed to spill on me. When I got back to the village with Aikotsu and Okikotsu in town, the headman was stuttering his praises to us. And then I was given a room to sleep in which I don't clearly remember what looked like, and Okikotsu was taken away to the village priestess because of the wounds he had suffered fighting Shinigo, which were much greater than Aikotsu's and mine.

I felt very weary and was about to fall asleep straight away on my futon when Emi came into the room. I knew she meant to talk to me.

"I heard you managed to slay Shinigo," she told me in an awed whisper. "How'd you do it? You don't look like a demon slayer."

Normally, I would have given her a blow-by-blow account of what had transpired but something bothered me about Shinigo's memory.

"What type of person was Shinigo when he lived here?" I asked.

"Well…" Emi frowned. "He was a loner, very shy, never talked much. Now that I think about it, we villagers weren't altogether that nice to him. I guess we were all scared of him, even though he never really lifted a finger to hurt us. But when he ran away, we scorned him; we referred to him as a coward."

"Shinigo was not a coward," I said, rather firmly.

Emi didn't say anything.

"In fact," I continued, "I think he was really brave."

Again, Emi said nothing.

Despite the silence, I went on, explaining my views: "From what you say, it sounded like you villagers bullied Shinigo but I don't think he ran away because of that. I think something happened to him that endangered his life, and then he lost control of himself. He became a mindless beast bent on killing, but deep inside, his heart was still there. Shinigo ran away because he did not want to kill anyone here. And whenever had come close to the village, he had always managed to drag himself away. I saw him. When he was not in a state of rapture, he looked like he wanted to die. That was what he got for fighting his instincts. In the end, I wanted to kill Shinigo not for the village's sake, but for his. I was really happy for him when he died because he no longer had to hate himself for being a killer."

"Oh, Chokotsu…" Emi sniffed.

We remained silent for a long while.

Then I asked, "Where's Tsubame?" I hadn't seen her since she had visited me with supper.

Emi explained that Tsubame had done away to see Okikotsu. I nodded at that and hoped sincerely that Okikotsu would pull through; but if he didn't, that would be too bad. I had come to appreciate Okikotsu in the same way as I had come to respect the late Shinigo. Maybe one day, Okikotsu would open up to us and talk, and we could truly call each other "allies."

I felt my tiredness again and decided to chase Emi away so I could sleep. I pretty much fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.

Unfortunately for me, despite my desire to sleep in and recuperate, I was woken up at the crack of dawn by Tsubame. Very annoyingly, she was even more excited than her norm, although she had a reason, I suppose.

"Guess what, guess what, big brother!" she exclaimed as she zoomed around the room as if she was an overly-energetic fly.

"What?" I demanded both irritably and drowsily. The futon looked very comfortable.

"It's unbelievable, big brother!" Tsubame insisted. "I went to see Okikotsu but he was asleep and the priestess chased me away…"

I tried to snuggle back into bed. Ah, warmth.

"… And then I went to sleep and got up just before dawn so I took a walk…"

And here I was thinking something remarkable had happened.

"… And I met Bankotsu!"