He didn't say a word the way back to his house. He kept a tight grip around my wrist and didn't let go no matter how much I tugged away from him.
"Stan?" I tried, hoping to get something out of him. I hope he doesn't think I had something to do with the intervention. Oh God, what if he thinks that? What if he thinks I somehow knew about the whole thing?
I felt myself seize up with fear. Stan only gets this quiet when he's super pissed.
He pulled me all the way into his house. His dad was sitting on the couch watching some stupid cooking show. Randy, clothed only in his underwear, was yelling obscenities at the television and chugging down a gluten free beer. He didn't even notice us until Stan slammed the door behind me.
Randy looked at his son and grinned, "Stan! How was school today?"
Stan just stared at his dad and I swear, it was like you could feel the tension in the room.
Stan sighed and looked down at the floor and muttered two words. "Door bell"
Randy gaped at his son, "Uh, oh! Okay, son. I'll be down in the basement." And with that, he rushed out of the living room.
I should probably clarify why the phrase "door bell" had such an effect on Randy. You see, back when everyone had just found out about us being a couple, Randy thought it would a good idea if he and Stan came up with a code word so he wouldn't walk in on us fucking.
Stan wasn't really keen on the idea.
"Dad, I don't want to tell you when I'm having sex! That's awkward."
I remember Randy had thought it was a great idea to bring up this topic at the dinner table one of the nights I happened to be over for dinner.
Shelley had left the table as soon as the words "Listen son, I think we should have a code word for when you're ramming Kyle," and never in my life have I ever been more jealous of her. She was probably up in her room blocking out this conversation with obnoxious music and I was sitting at the table, having to endure this conversation.
"Stanley, if we don't have a code word when I come barging in on you sticking-"
"Randy, please!" Sharon thankfully interrupted.
Stan covered his face with his hands, "Dad. I lock my door. You won't be able to barge in."
"But what if I hear you? Do you really want your old man listening on you-"
"Door bell!" I interrupted with a shout.
Stan looked at me as if I had lost my mind. "What?"
"That...that could be the code word." I mumbled. Anything to shut Randy up. If he wants a code word, then fine. It's not like Stan would actually use it.
Or that's what I thought.
Stan, still gripping onto my wrist, dragged me upstairs and into his room. He slammed the door shut and locked it.
Holy fucking shit, what the fuck is going on?
When I voiced my thoughts, Stan just grunted and practically ripped my backpack off my shoulders.
"Dude! Be careful!" I said and rubbed my shoulders.
Stan ignored me and grabbed my face and slammed his lips on top of mine. He pulled me close so that there was no room between us.
I pulled my lips off his and looked up at him, "Are we seriously going to have sex? After what just happened at Wendy's?"
Stan avoided my gaze, "Let's get on the bed." He sat down on the edge of the bed and tugged me over to him by my belt loop.
Reluctantly, I plopped down next to him. He was really starting to weird me out.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in for another kiss.
"Stan, I really think we should talk about this." I protested and wiggled out of his grip.
Stan growled and and shot up on his feet, "Talk about what, Kyle? Talk about how all of our friends think you're dating me out of pity? Talk about how they fucking think I take advantage of you? Is that what you really want to talk about?"
I rose to my feet and grit my teeth, "Yes, I fucking want to talk about it! I don't know why you don't!" If he thought that he was going to avoid this topic with sex, he thought wrong. We need to figure out a way to set the story straight. I'm pretty sure Cartman started all of this anyways, so it shouldn't be very hard to discredit him at all.
He ran his fingers through his hair, "Because… because!"
I let out a half laugh, "Because? What kind of answer is that?"
"Shut up."
I grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to meet my gaze. His eyes were all watery…
"Stan, what's going on? What are you thinking?"
He went silent for a minute, but then he whispered, "You...you're not really dating me out of pity, right? You're not just dating me because I'm your best friend and I'm gay?"
My heart could have broke. Wendy's fucking stupid intervention had really gotten to him. I enveloped him in a hug and held him tight.
"Oh, baby, no. I'm dating you because I'm in love with you. And because you're my best friend."
Stan choked out a sob and hugged me back.
I don't know how it happened but we ended up laying on Stan's bed, holding each other close. He was playing with my hair with one hand and rubbing his nose with the other.
"So… they think you're not gay at all?"
I nodded, "That's what it sounded like. I can't believe Cartman did this."
Stan sniffed, "How do you know it was Cartman who started it?"
I rolled my eyes, "Please, when it is ever not Cartman?"
He tugged on my curls, which made me flinch internally, "I don't know..."
I quirked my eyebrow up at him.
"What? You never know with this town."
I pursued my lips. I guess he's right. This town is batshit crazy.
Stan sighed, "Why don't you just tell everyone?"
"That's the plan. We're gonna tell everyone that that intervention was unnecessary because I'm in love with you. You know, but in a less gay way."
Stan shook his head and buried his face in my neck. He was breathing heavy against my skin and strangely enough, it was calming.
"No, I think you should tell people the truth and then tell them that. You shouldn't just people assume you're gay if you're not."
Oh God, not this conversation again. I turn away from him. I don't want to talk about this right now. So what if I still kind of like girls? I'm with Stan and I'm in love with him, why does it matter if people know I'm not totally gay?
"Kyle, don't turn away," He whimpered.
I grunted and shoved my face into the pillow.
"Ky, I don't understand why you don't want people to know you're bi."
Maybe because I'm not totally sure that I am.
I peeked up at him from the pillow. He still had his hand in my hair, playing with it. I turn my face back into the pillow.
"I don't know what I am."