Again I am really sorry that I haven't update sooner! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, I love to hear what you think :) hopefully the updates are going to be a lot quicker now

- Freya xo

Every breath that I breathe

Sahira woke up suddenly with a small whimper. She was breathing rapidly and sweat was lightly covering her forehead yet she couldn't have felt more peaceful a few moments earlier. She blinked at her surroundings then the images of her bedroom came into focus and she could feel the shape of her husband behind her. She couldn't remember how she exactly got home last night but she was grateful that she had.

The beeping of her alarm started, signalling for her to wake up – not knowing that she was already awake. Sahira felt her husband stir next to her and rolled over to face him.

"Morning."

"Morning darling, couldn't put the kettle on could you babe? I'm gasping for a cuppa!"

Sahira sighed and had to remind herself that only she – and now Hanssen – knew about her condition and that she was still expected to do everyday tasks for her husband like she normally would. Supporting her chest, she edged off the bed and stood up. From behind her, her husband patted her bum, catching her off guard. Sahira took a sharp intake of breath as the motion jarred her for a second.

"You ok dear?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Must've slept a bit funny that's all." The lie rolled easily off her tongue.

Sahira managed to get to the kitchen, make the tea and pack the children off to nursery without any more pain.

While she waited for her husband to finish in the bathroom she thought about telling him about her cancer. Just spring it on him as he came out of the shower. Writing it in the steam on the mirror. Show him the large, discoloured lump in her breast and let him work it out for himself. However she thought of doing it nothing seemed to fit. How would he take it? Would he care as much as Henrik? He hadn't even noticed anything was wrong. Unlike Greg.

As she heard to shower shut off and her husband step on to the mat, she lost her nerve and hurried back into their bedroom, breathing deeply. Just because Henrik had told her that she must tell him, didn't mean that she had to. This was happening to her which gave her the right to make the decisions, didn't it?

Sahira ran a brush through her hair and tied it up in a bun – trying to make her appearance seem more normal. If she looked fine on the outside then there was a better chance of pretending that everything was alright on the inside. She slipped on the clothes that were lying across her stool, not really caring what they looked like at this hour as she would be changing straight into her scrubs as soon as she reached the locker room anyway.

As she stepped out the bedroom, ready to leave, she was stopped by her husband who at the same time was entering the room.

"You off now?"

"Yes, the children have been collected and there's a tub in the fridge with your lunch in."

"Thank you darling, have a nice day – don't work too hard!" he joked, leaning down to kiss her. She turned her head at the last minute and let his lips fall onto her cheek.

"I've really got to go now, see you later."

She slid around him, ignoring the surprised look in his eyes that would only make her feel guilty. His embrace made her feel that the truth she was hiding from him was all wrong, and that his love for her was still with the person she used to be – who she could never return to. She knew that she had caused the change in their marriage – and there was one, even if he hadn't noticed it yet – but still she did nothing to try and solve it. These thought filled her head as she started up the car and made her way to the hospital.

As she pulled into a parking space she glanced up at one of the windows with a tall figure looking out over the cars. She sighed as she recognised Henrik watching her arrive. Her job had just done a life-swap with her home due to the fact that she could not get away from her illness here anymore. She opened the door and pulled herself out of the car carefully, masking her face from the pain she felt tugging away.

Henrik watched as Sahira arrived in her car. She sat in her car for a few moments before slowly opening her door. He had seen her eyes flicker up towards him and knew that she had notice him observing her. She took her a longer time than normal getting up from her seat, and again Henrik wondered what type of cancer she had. It had been the only thing that he had forgotten to ask her yesterday when she had confessed to him.

Deep in thought, Henrik didn't hear somebody walk up behind him, look over his shoulder and out the window too.

"She's definitely not herself," stated an Irish voice.

"Do you seek to make it your goal to gossip about your colleagues Mr Douglas?" Henrik replied smoothly, without turning around.

"No, I normally pride myself on the opposite actually. But I thought that since you were staring at her, that comment might've been appropriate," Greg replied. Both men were silent for a moment as Sahira entered the building and out of sight.

"Don't you have work to do Mr Douglas? I really don't think you are paid to stand around in corridors now, do you?"

Greg rolled his eyes, "Okay, hint taken!"

Once again alone on the landing, Henrik returned his gaze to the entrance of the hospital, where Sahira no longer was.

He sighed gently, it was going to be a long day.