Safe in the Stars

((Since Crim got all of part 3, Theron gets to take over in part 4. Enjoy!))

The Star Fortresses we targeted are gone. Hoth, Tatooine, Alderaan, Nar Shaddaa, Voss, and Belsavis have been liberated. It is a wonderful thing, liberating a world. Oh look at me, becoming SO sentimental. Must be something in the food dispenser on this little ship.

I head to the bridge where our pilot is and a… "Oh dear. I think chasing down those star fortresses across the galaxy has knocked our Outlander out." I whisper this quietly. I don't want to wake him.

"I think Crim has earned a small nap, don't you?"

Miot whispers to me in his native language, He passed out a few moments ago. I would too if it weren't for us needing a pilot.

"You go ahead and rest, Miot, I can pilot for a little while."

Miot bows and slowly heads to where the sleeping quarters are. I sit in the pilot seat and glance over to "sleeping beauty." Crim always talks about beauty sleep—Now that I have a chance to get a good look at him while he's asleep, I can see why. Then again Crim is just as beautiful when he's awake: The silver eyes, the deep red skin, the way the grooves and ridges shape his face and chest, and the compassion and determination you see when you look in his eyes directly. Beautiful…

I smile at his sleeping form and just watch. A few times I see him tremble and his shoulders becoming tight. Is he dreaming about carbonite? Valkorian in his head? I reach over and squeeze his hand. His shoulders relaxed; good, he should know I am here. But his shoulders start to tense again, and his breathing quickens so I quietly I put the ship on autopilot and I move over to where he is sleeping and adjust things so he is underneath me. "Easy, Crim, it's a dream. You're safe with me, now."

His features softened again and his breathing calmed. Does he know I am holding him? He answers my thoughts: "Theron..." in a quiet tone.

I rest my chin on top of his head and , Crim is safe with me and in my arms for a little bit. He was not in carbonite, he was not on Zakuul, and he was not in a past he almost never talks about. He is safe with me.

A few more minutes pass by. I run my fingers through his hair a little, and his chest rises and falls slowly. I think his dreams are good now; I hope they were good now. Eventually, his eyes open a crack: "Good morning, sleepy sith," I said quietly, "were your dreams good?"

Crim nods with a small smile. He yawns and snuggles more to me. I am glad Miot isn't here to watch this: A giant sith snuggling up to the smaller me? Amusing sight.

"Is the chair comfortable?"

Crim's voice is still filled with sleep when he answers. "It's passable. Not quite like the beds on Odessen but not as rough as some of the places I had to lay my head down before. However, you made it more enjoyable."

I relax in the chair while Crim yawns again; I enjoy our shared warmth. "I hear ya. The cold snow of Hoth with a portable sleeper was not fun."

"Sleeping on Taris was no better, if I recall correctly. Of course nothing is comfy when it's near a known rakghoul nest!" Crim looks out the window and goes silent.

I looked at him curiously. "What did you do on Taris?"

"Helped some Sith drive the Republic off world. I didn't want to but I had no choice. Intelligence has ways to get their agents to behave."

"Get you to behave? As in make you behave, regardless of if there was an alternative to driving the people of Taris from their homeworld?"

Crim looked down and a way.

I stiffened, assuming his reaction meant his answer was a yes. "Did... Did they give you the Castellan mind control?"

"You… You know about that? How?"

My grip around him tightened. "By snooping for reasons to stay onboard. Instead I found a very good reason to leave. The SIS' old leader used it to control Cipher 9 when the agent got the codename Legate. I'm not sure if the Cipher actually defected or was simply being the double agent. Whatever happened to them?"

Crim shook his head. "I don't know. Cipher 9 was one of our best and most loyal. Just like I was willing to give Intelligence my all. Yet we both received the Castellan treatment. Mine was administered during the acclimation process."

"Why would they do something like that? Did… were they unhappy about your sexuality?"

"No, no, no… Intelligence doesn't give a kriff about sex, so long as you can get the job done. I was considered high risk, Theron, because I am sith. They feared I would turn on them the moment my people said go. So they brainwashed me, and programmed me to ensure it wouldn't happen. I figured out how to undo the programming about 7 years ago now."

Crim's shoulders slumped a little, and looked out the window. He was looking straight out the window, and was a bit far away. I reached one hand for his heart. "I'm sorry for bringing it up."

Crim still looks out the window and his voice breaks. "It is alright, Theron, it was along time ago."

I know I should drop the issue, but I had to know: "Crim, is it gone? Are you safe?"

He nods but doesn't look at me. "That's good then... Are you alright?"

Crim shrugged. "I will be. I am just not... Well, let's just say I did things underneath the mind control I'm not happy with. Worst of all I do not know how to start apologising for it as I did not choose to do these things. I was literally forced, not trained, to follow orders."

I run my fingers through his hair, and attempt to comfort. However, he is still far away. He's not where I want him to be. "Love?"

Crim turns to me and I look at him, with my hand cupping his cheek.

"What you did in the name of the Empire is nothing to be ashamed of, regardless of if it was done under the mind control or not. You were protecting your own people and did your duty. Just like I did for the SIS. Don't let yourself be judged by people hiding behind a desk or people using a keyword to get their dirty work done."

Crim sighed and then leaned against me. His eyes still seemed far off in the distance. Crim cuts into my thoughts with a quiet voice: "I know; I know… Although it saddens me when I think back on it. I'm worried about what you'll think of me when you find out the truth."

"You mean when I find out you are far from an innocent bystander? Would not be a good time to tell you I'm not either?"

Crim still looks out the window. Then his face and eyes were buried in my chest. So much emotion and he's comfortable expressing it with me? The man who locks it away so often? I'm trying to think of why he is with me.

Crim looked up at me, eyes finally coming back to the here and now.

"I worked for the SIS. I had to make hard choices. For example, how many of your people were killed on Korriban because I helped plan that attack to get information against the Empire? Re-phrase: How many of your people died during that raid that I did not care about? I'll be brutally honest: I didn't care about it at all during the event. I do now but the caring is an afterthought."

Crim, miraculously, didn't pull back. "Many sith died in that. Not as many as what Zakuul killed, but it was many. However, I did look into your records when we first met, Theron. You have done good work for the Republic in ways that have helped the Empire's people. For example, I am glad you helped pull a part some of the Sith Empire's slave rings. A barbaric practice my people should end."

I looked at him. My breathing was steady though my eyes betrayed that I was filled with a bit of joy at hearing this. "You're happy about that? I thought slavery was a sith thing?"

Crim nods and kisses the side of my head where my implants are. "It is a practice I observe, not endorse. My parents had slaves and I hated it, and this went on for years- long before intelligence enslaved me with their brainwashing. We are a wealthy faction, or at least we were, there is no reason every one of our people cannot work for a fair wage!"

"Are you also happy that I was responsible for the death of a Darth Mekhis, planned the destruction of a key area of your people's home world, and ended up slicing much of the Empire's records?"

Crim blinked, expression unchanging. "Are you too upset with me that I imprisoned 3 SIS agents on Ziost," and I completed his sentence: "And helped get Havoc Squad to defect? Not particularly."

"How in the hell did you find out that was me?" He pulled back to look me in the eye.

I shifted a little in the chair. "I may have used my SIS powers to look you up after we first met."

"So I was right- You did have a little crush on me."

Crim chuckled as I blushed and looked away shyly. "Since you just admitted to looking me up, I'd recommend against complaining."

"It seems we have interesting ways of getting to know each other. Next time I think I will just take you out for dinner."

"Dinner sounds nice... And to put it bluntly, who wouldn't have a crush on you, Crim? I'm amazed you do not have hoards of men and women trying to grab at you. Look at you! Your muscles, your hair, your eyes…"

"My scars?"

"I think scars bring out your best features. If you don't mind me asking, how did you get them?"

Crim was silent for so long, I feared I had touched a nerve. Again. When he did speak, I was not quite prepared for the answer: "The scars on my face are from the one time my father gave me lashes. The ones on my chest are puncture wounds and electricity burns from my mother and father. They gave them to me as part of strength training: It was to instill anger and hate in me so I would become a powerful Sith."

I looked down at him as he spoke. I wanted to see the scars he was describing so I pushed away the fabric of one of his leather jackets. It was rather easy to do since the jacket was open already, with his chest was exposed. My fingers gently ran along the scars underneath the fabric. He shivered a little bit under my touch and some of his skin almost pushed against my fingertips.

"Are your parents still alive?"

Crim answered quickly, "I don't know and I don't care. All I can say is all their attempts to map out my destiny failed; I was made to be different I think. Anyway, some of the newer scars are a result of being treated for carbon poisoning."

I smiled, my fingers still moving across his skin. Crim looked in my eye. "Still like what you see?"

"Of course I do. Then again, does it matter if I do? You seem to have no problem showing your best bits off."

"Well there are strangers and then there is you."

Crim then lifted his head up so our foreheads were touching. My hand continued to move around his scars. He closed his eyes, clearly liking the touch. "Do you have any idea how much I had to resist kissing the kriffing daylight out of you when I first saw you on Odessen?" he asked.

"I have some idea as a part of me wanted you to do it. But I wasn't sure if you remembered me, was angry with me, or if you were going through enough as is." I looked away and went back to when I first saw Crim again after so many years. "The truth is I looked for you, Crimsèn. I looked for you for the first 2 years you were in carbonite. I had to find you; needed to find you."

"I was going to look for you, love." Crim voice was low and full of regret. "I found you just as I got the call to go to Darth Marr's ship. I was so afraid you died on Ziost, even though I remember you taking the Jedi Master away. I do not know why I am telling you this; I thought you should know."

I closed the distance so our lips could meet. Mine were firm, but his were a bit gentle. I could feel his heart pounding against mine. I could feel his breath against my skin when we broke a part. "Marr's ship was the last time I felt any good contact from a person. When I got out of the carbonite I would have done anything for a hug, I missed it so much. I missed you so much."

"And yet there I was holding back as the good professional. And when we became officially lovers I was still being shy..."

Crim rubbed my neck. "I understood why you were shy. New relationships shouldn't always be jumped into. I was just happy to find someone to love after being nothing but duty and war since Marr's ship."

"What happened on his ship?"

"He summoned me and HK-51 because the Emperor had been found. I told HK-51 to stay in my ship. Then I went to the bridge and spoke with Marr. Then the attack happened. Everything happened so fast, I told HK to flee into hyperspace. Then Marr and I met and tried to salvage but it was too late. I told everyone to get to the escape pods. Then my world went black. I woke up to be on Arcann's ship. That was a long trip to see the Emperor. Marr was there. He died refusing to kneel before Valkorian. I refused to kneel before him as well. I was ready to accept my fate. But then Arcann cut my binders and then attacked his father. I shot him in the chest the first moment I got."

"And that was the convenient excuse Arcann needed to attack the Empire," I thought out loud Crim's words. So he did kill Vitiate's latest reincarnation? But not without help, a convenient piece of info Arcann forgot to mention.

"If that was all it took to lead to all this chaos," Crim muttered into my thoughts, "I think I would have revised my actions. After all you could've died in the assault and I would have awakened to having no one."

I pulled Crim to my lips when he said that. His jacket dropped to the floor as my fingers ran along his chest and arms. "Do not think like this, Crimsèn. I would have taken the shot if I was in your position that day. Besides, Zakuul was coming with or without your help. Arcann would have found an alternative to seize the throne. What is important now is you have someone, and he's right here. Not going anywhere. And I will guide you to victory like I guided you through the Star Fortresses."

"Can I touch you?"

I smile and toss my jacket and shirt on another chair. Crim ran his fingers along my skin, around my implants. He looked at them with curiosity. "Where did you get them?"

"From the SIS. They implanted them in me to ensure I'd be fit to do some of the most dangerous of missions. They secrete pain killers into my body when I get injured, and they sometimes pick up radio frequencies. You DON'T want to know more about the radio frequencies than… that…"

My words slowed and Crim's lips moved from close to mine to along my skin. "Love," I whisper, "careful. We shouldn't wake up Miot."

"But I need you," he trembled, "however, if you do not want, I will cease."

"Who said I didn't want? Just careful. I don't want to Miot a heart attack upon catching us." Crim giggled and went back to tasting me.

I quickly stopped caring if Miot, Lana, or even Arcann himself walked in on us.