So Uh, This is My Team?
Dear Diary,
I'm quite glad that we get to write a diary on our life on The Devil's Private Lands. The poor news on this is that the diary we write in must be kept a secret. The plane ride to Satan's Island was quite fun. I got in a few songs and was quite ready to plummet to my death. Thankfully the island that Mr. McLean supplied supplied us with had a lot of Hell Birds. They gently floated me down to the lethal sand of the island. Mr. McLean had split us into two groups. The team spread was awful. I was stuck with these people for the rest of the game, tragic I know. So as we had the task of making a resting home from what we could get from the junkyard. Some dude that wanted the dead gone got some healthy soup as I grabbed a handy dose of pink cocaine, cleverly disguised as glitter. The magical fairy man had created a tower made from earths weapon of death and informed that all it needed was glitter. As I was about to sprinkle the medicine of joy on our new home, the pageant mom had rudely shoved me and dumped the cocaine herself. I wanted her to burn in hells flames as I ate her alive, but patience was the key here. Mr. McLean summoned a group of moose to destroy or ritual home. For losing the challenge we blamed the guy who did absolutely nothing and shot him off a cannon. So I guess this is goodbye to the boombox. Let's hope we can succeed in winning the next one.
I Love You Grease Pig
Dear Diary,
Sadly, our team has failed yet again. Mr. McLean made us take a boar through the world of fattening grease. This Sugar girl failed yet again to fit my criteria. She had to go. I sang my song of evil determination to the boar and slowly made my way over to our scrawny weakling, Dave. He seemed a bit mad but I really don't mind a bit of anger from people. Thankfully, the undead corpse fearer made us a home in the dark descending caves of Pahkitew. We will no longer rest ourselves on the forbidden soils of this island. Our team has failed once more and we have voted off our magical fairy from the team. With our luck, our team would be dead last. I do hope we can once again retrieve our former glory.
News flash, Mr. McLean has told me that he censored out my singing and changed it with some happy cheery song. I am ashamed that Mr. McLean would do such a thing. The world deserves to hear my deadly melody and became entranced in the world down under.
Twinning Isn't Everything
Dear Diary,
It has become apparent that Sugar doesn't like me. As I tried to seduce Shauns soul through my melody, she shoved a pear into the entrance of the digestive system. She must be catching on that I'm the true Succubus on the island. Sky had brought us a bucket amount of delightful liquid. My choices aren't limited so I began to sing for her too. Though Shaun thought that it would be better to sing to the other team. The more the dreadful. When I finally made my way over, I had asked kindly which one of them would enjoy death first when Mr. McLean interrupted me. He said that we had a challenge where we get to pelt balloons containing the most dangerous and foul things possible, what could be better? As the challenge went on I hypnotized some squirrels and a deer befojust re I had, once again, laid eyes on that fouled Sugar.I had told her that my balloon contain mercury and I wouldn't hesitate to launch it at her face. She just simply pushed me into a bush that was plagued with good spirits. How she managed to pull it off is beyond me. Eventually Sugar and I got covered in some goopy material, Sugar also got to taste some shit so I really don't mind. Anyway the other team lost and that's all I care about.
I Love You, I Love You Knots
Dear Diary,
I thought of a brilliant plan to eliminate Sugar today. When Mr. McLean called us over, I placed a Rattlesnake I found on the island underneath the part of the log I saved for Sugar. She denied my request and shoved me aside once more. Let's hope that one day I can release my wrath on Sugar to take her soul off the island. So while Mr. McLean was explaining the rules, Mr. Hatchet comes around and puts metal collars on us. Mr. Mclean then shocked us through a remote and then made not Samey go for her turn. Afterwards, the earth farmer has to go and his question was who he thought the most irresistible girl was. He selected Sugar as his choice and was shocked as a penalty. Honestly, who in their right mind would find Sugar as even hardly attractive. Sugar decided to whine about the fact that she was in fact the most "beautiful" girl on the island and caused us to become electrocuted. I comforted Sugar by telling her that she was the most despicable and nastiest girl on the island and she started to get mad at me. It was going quite well indeed. So Dave had to capture Sky's heart through his mouth when Sky released air through her mouth. Then we got shocked once more. Afterwards, Shaun had to "pick his nose" and wipe it off on Dave. Now wondering here. This is a scare for Shaun that disgusts Dave. Mr. McLean's logic is off. Dave scurried off and Shaun caught up. He then blasted out snot through his nose that splattered on us and Dave. Mr. McLean then shocked us because Shaun failed to wipe correctly. It was now my turn and I had to tell the truth. The question was if I had to change anything about me what would it be. I honest to Satan wanted to change myself into a basilisk and stare down at Sugar but apparently that was a lie to Mr. McLean. Then Sugar starts screaming at me saying that I was a pageant queen or something like that. Shaun and Dave had to hold her back. The game was eventually a tie and I was chosen to participate in the tiebreaker. I was against the man known as Rodney. Our challenge was to open a bag and click the button to shock the other team. I finished untying mine, but I wanted to see the other team beg for mercy. Before any of them begged, the uncooked meal began to electrocute the other team for me. Thanks to Mr. Hatchet we were able to feast on this clucked demon.
A Blast From the Past
Dear Diary,
When I awoke today I felt the strong urge to read my death threat to Sugar aloud so everyone can hear how much I despise her. She made her a poem and then told me to back off. Sky told me some random advice about people or something and that made me totally hatch an idea. I would make Sugar feel like I'm a moron so I could attack her by surprise. Again, patience is the key. Let's just hope I don't get all impatient. So throughout this whole challenge I tried flattering and kissing-up to Sugar but the imbecile was just as stubborn as before. During the challenge I was electrocuted and got Mr. McLean attacked by a bear. This challenge was quite fun. What wasn't fun was when I tried to make Dave hand over his soul to me. He honestly didn't get the message and pretty much shooed me away. Then one of the two twins showed up and beat up Samey, or Amy I really don't know. We managed to win the challenge and that was that.
Mo' Monkeys Mo' Problems
Dear Diary,
Don't even ask me what happened today. I started off drinking some hell booze and when I awoke, I was back home with my voodoo dolls. When I finally watched the episode, I was pretty pissed off with what was going on. So I was flirting with Dave in his poorly set up dinner ritual. I mean, who puts a tablecloth on the floor and puts their filthy shoes on it? So then I got all depressed, sang my death melodies, and got shot out of the cannon. I wasn't in control with my body due to the alcoholic beverage I consumed. I'll just be in my room, stabbing at my Sugar doll.