It's been three months since Jazmine moved out. After she walked out of the therapy session I followed her and tried to get her to listen, but she wouldn't. She packed her bags, called a taxi and left. I was stunned; I couldn't believe she left me in New Jersey. The next day Cindy had called and screamed like a banshee, letting me know that Jazmine had told her what happened. When I came home that day, Jazmine's suitcases were gone, her clothes were gone, and worst of all her paintings were gone. Without Jazmine's stuff the house looked grim and dismal.
Jazmine left a note telling me to keep X until she could find a suitable place to live, then we would be sharing custody of him. At first I believed she was joking, that this was her way of making me come after her; I had refused to play her childish game. After three months, she still hasn't come back.
Her new condo was in a nice place just outside of Woodcrest. X likes it but he always asks us when is Mommy coming home; it hasn't sunken into his brain yet that Jazmine isn't coming back. So far Jazmine and I have been exchanging X on Sundays and Thursdays; she keeps him Sunday night until she drops him off at school on Thursday, and I pick him up Thursday night and drop him off on Sunday. The schedule has X a little thrown and upset, but we both know he's too young to stay a full week with either of us.
My thoughts were cut short by the phone ringing. I reached over the desk and picked up my cell phone. I really did not want to answer the phone, but if I didn't Riley would just call over and over until I did.
"What do you want?" I had to fight to keep from barking out.
"Don't take your aggression out on me just because you're wifeless." God he could be irritating. I was not in the mood to hear about how I should've gone after her, or how I should go begging on my knees for her back; if Jazmine wanted to leave, she was free to go.
"What do you want?"
"Have you talked to her yet?" His voice dropped its cheeriness, if you could call it that. I sighed and ran my hair through my tamed afro.
"No I haven't, and I'm not going to."
"Why not? Huey you keep fucking around and you're going to lose her." Begrudgingly, I admitted to myself that he was right.
"Jazmine is her own woman Riley, if she wants to leave nothing I say or do is going to stop her."
"You could tell her the truth that might work." I rolled my eyes at the sarcasm. Riley liked to think that he knew everything, but he didn't know Jazmine like I did. She is one of the most stubborn people I know, and once she's made up her mind, nothing but Usher is going to change that; it'll be a cold day in hell before I ask Usher to help me fix my marriage.
"I know my wife, it won't work Riley." I sounded defeated even to my own ears. I was over feeling sorry for myself and moping around. I'm notorious for not feeling anything, so our separation shouldn't be bothering me. Accept I think about her at least twice a day. In the middle of the night I wake up facing her side of the bed and clutching her blankets as if she's still there. Three months is not enough time to erase habits ten years in the making.
"You may know your wife Huey, but you forgot Jazmine."
"What the hell does that even mean?"
"It means that you need to stop thinking about Jazmine as the devoting wife who would do anything for her family, and think of her as a woman who just wants her husband to tell her he loves her, and that he doesn't want anyone else but her." I took his words into consideration. He was right about how I had been treating Jazmine through this; due to our son, Jazmine has learned how to be logical and not to just throw caution to the wind, but when it comes to romance, she's still waiting on a storybook ending.
"When did you start being so into a woman's feelings? They eight-year old you would call you gay."
His laugh rang over the phone. "Ever since Cindy got pregnant I've had to be more in touch with my feminine side than I have ever wanted to be. This girl's hormones are so outta whack if I say the wrong thing she goes flying into a crying frenzy and no amount of begging will save my ass from sleeping on the couch." I had to smirk at that; I had spent more nights on the couch than any man in history during Jazmine's pregnancy.
"I understand completely, congratulations." There was a slight pause where neither one of us really knew what to say to each other; heart to hearts weren't our thing.
"Make your move Huey, before someone makes theirs." He hung up the phone shortly after. He was again right, I never backed down from something I wanted, and I wanted Jazmine. I tossed my phone on the desk and thought of ways to win her back.
…Jazmine…
Three months. Three months without someone I've spent almost every single day with for twenty years. It was hard at first; I cried a lot, but I've gotten the hang of it. The hardest part was X. Almost every single day he's with me, he asks if we can go home or if Daddy is going to come with us. I have to remind myself that he's an innocent little boy who just wants to see his family together, but sometimes I get angry. Sometimes it feels as if X is making me out to be the bad guy, and while I know he doesn't mean to, he is. To X I'm the person who tore our family apart; I'm the person who's ruining the semblance of normalcy.
I've thought about telling him who's really to blame, but that wouldn't solve anything; it would only make him upset at both of us. Sooner or later I know I'm going to have to put him in counseling or therapy. He's been acting out lately, and I know it's only an extension of what's going on. His teachers called me in one day to talk to them because they couldn't figure out why he had retreated within himself at school. He didn't play with other kids, he didn't go outside during recess; he just sat in the classroom and read books. I didn't feel comfortable telling them that Huey and I were having marital problems and had separated, but it would help them be better prepared to handle his odd behavior. I've yet to talk to Huey about it; I wasn't ready to face him yet.
"Mrs. Freeman?" I looked up from my computer screen to see Erin, my secretary and closest work friend, standing in the doorway.
"Yes?"
"There's a man who's interested in buying one of the charcoals, but he would like more information from the artist." Her eyes twinkled mischievously. I shook my head at her and smiled while standing up and stretching.
"Alright since you're dying to, give me his specs."
"He's absolutely beautiful! He's tall, I'd say about 6'5", blue eyed, chestnut brown hair with honey blonde natural highlights, and he's built like God's gift to women." I laughed at her enthusiasm. "Pretty much he's everything that Huey Freeman is not, minus the build and height."
She winked at me and I couldn't help but laugh; tall men had always been my weakness and it seems Erin knew that. I nudged her as I walked by but when I stepped out the door the smile was gone from my face and a look of shock replaced it. The man stood there, admiring my painting, in a beautiful and expensive tan suit. One hand rested in his pocket and he looked like a man completely satisfied with life. I straightened my baby blue dress pants and brushed imaginary lint off my plum-colored silk blouse.
"See something that interests you?" I stood next to him and waited for him to turn to me. He turned and his eyes seemed to pierce my soul and travel right through me. The smirk that crossed his face was enough to make any woman's panties dampen. I knew instantly that he was a man used to getting what he wanted; something told me I was looking at the real snake that tempted Eve.
"Well, now I do." I laughed and his smile was as bright as an 1100 watt light bulb. "Actually I wanted to speak to you about this charcoal, Mrs. Freeman."
"Please call me Jazmine, there's no need for formalities. And you are?"
"Andrews, Dane Andrews. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Jazmine." I extended my hand to him; he gently grabbed it and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. I'd be lying if I said there were no butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
"The pleasure is all mine Mr. Andrews."
"Dane please, Mr. Andrews makes me cringe and think of my father." I tried hard to fight the smile beckoning on my lips, Dane Andrews was charming.
"Now how can I assist you?" I forced myself into a business state of mind. I'm a married woman for Christ's sake.
"Well Jazmine, my new office building was just completed and I need to decorate it. I was thinking of something from a local talent, such as yourself."
"And you chose a charcoal? That's quite unique. Most of my customers choose a water color or acrylic to enhance their employees' moods. Are you sure you wouldn't want to go with one of my landscapes?"
"This one is for my personal office, and I find your subject engaging," The charcoal sketch he wanted was called "The God Particle"; it was of God's hands molding man from clay. "As an architect, sometimes I feel like God when I'm creating something; it gives me peace and joy, as I can imagine your artwork gives you, just as I believe God felt when he was creating the world." Hearing his perspective on art and architecture was refreshing, Riley, Cindy, and Huey didn't truly understand what it was like to invest your soul into something. Riley was the closest to understanding, but art was just a hobby for him, for me, it's my life.
"Sounds like you connect with this piece; it would make a great addition to your office then."
"Thank you Jazmine, but I want to hear your perspective on the piece, after all it was your imagination that brought it to life."
"Oh, well I—"
"Not here, tonight, over dinner." His eyes pleaded with me to say yes, but no matter how much I wanted to, I knew I couldn't. I looked away and began my excuse.
"I'm sorry, I wish I could but—"
"The Representative won't allow you?" I turned swiftly, he knew about Huey?
"How did you know?"
"Freeman is not an extremely common last name, so I assumed you had some connection to Representative Freeman, however you aren't wearing a wedding ring, and your secretary might have mentioned that you were separated." My eyes immediately narrowed to Erin who was standing in my office doorway practically screaming at me to say yes. I was going to kill her for mentioning my failing marriage to a complete stranger, sexy, but none the less a stranger.
"Dane you seem like a great and intelligent man but I—"
"Please," He insisted. "I would really love to take you out to dinner, Jazmine." I bit my lip. What was I thinking? I can't be seen having dinner with another man, even though Huey and I are done, I didn't want word to get out and hurt his campaign. He may be a horrible husband, but he was good for and to the people of Maryland and he worked hard to convince them that an ex-domestic terrorist really did have their best interest in mind. I planned to divorce him after the Senate elections, that way our split had no effect on the voters and he wouldn't be forced to step down because of a sex scandal. Huey didn't deserve to have both his personal and professional life shattered.
"One dinner couldn't hurt." I chuckled nervously. I hadn't been on a date with anyone other than Huey, how was this going to work out?
"Great, how about I pick you up at 7?" That would give me enough time after work to beg Cindy to watch X and for me to get dressed and shave my legs.
"7 would be fantastic," I smiled and grabbed a pen from the front desk to write my address down. "Anything specific I should wear?" His eyes turned from an entrapping shade of turquoise to sapphire and I could tell there was a dirty joke that flashed through his mind. Thankfully he reigned in his laughter and only a small smirk revealed his inner amusement.
"Something nice of course, but where we're going is going to be a surprise. You won't need tennis shoes or something of that sort."
"Thank goodness because I would not want to walk a mile in heels." I joked, but on the inside I was dead serious.
"Don't worry; I have 4 sisters, so I have been properly trained on what a girl needs to know in order to be prepared for a surprise date."
"Remind me to thank those glorious sisters of yours." We both shared a laugh. I wrote down the number to call when he reached the gates of my condo community and told him the large charcoal would be packaged and delivered to the address he provided us tomorrow around noon. He paid, cash, for the sketch and after I gave him his receipt, he kissed my hand again.
"I'll see you tonight Jazmine." He smiled and walked proudly out the door with his chest puffed out like a rooster. Laughing, I shook my head; maybe I wasn't going to obliterate Erin after all.
…
"Say that again, I don't think I heard you right Jazmine." I rolled my eyes. Cindy could be so overdramatic sometimes.
"I have a date tonight and I need you to watch X so I don't have to ask Huey to do it."
"If I was not mistaken it just sounded like you said you have a date."
"Yes Cindy, I have a date!" I shouted into my Bluetooth, honestly she is doing the most about this date.
"Of course I'll watch him so you can get laid, it's about time!"
"We are not all hoes like you Cindy, I'm not getting laid." I smiled despite her outrageous claim.
"Don't be jealous just because you don't have a sexy-ass Marine devoted to making sure your toes don't ever uncurl. I swear since we found out I'm pregnant, I might as well stay in bed, my legs are so sore!"
"Too much information Cindy!" I exclaimed. I was momentarily hit with a wave of sadness; unlike my situation with Huey, a baby hadn't messed up their love life one bit.
"Fine, fine! Maybe that was a little too much, but even though you say you're not going to do the dirty, you're still going to trim the hedges just in case right?"
"Oh definitely." I could tell she was smiling through the phone. I pulled into my gated condo community and punched in the code.
"That-a-girl! I'll be over in 20 minutes to help you get ready and I'll take X before your white boy gets there."
"He's not my white boy Cindy."
"You mean not yet!" I laughed and hung up the phone.
…
Cindy had worked her magic. I looked in the mirror and felt absolutely gorgeous. I slipped into my classy little black dress with lace detail around the bust and a pair of black leather pumps. A dainty silver cross hung around my neck and I put on my diamond rose earrings. Cindy had painted my nails black and my toe nails a deep purple, almost black, color. My makeup was left neutral, black eyeliner and mascara, except for my lips; Cindy applied a crimson red lipstick to my lips and dabbed the middle with a little gloss to, in her words, "Dare him not to kiss me." My hair cascaded down my back in beautiful loose curls and was pinned back on one side. All together I looked and felt amazing.
I glanced at my wedding ring for a split second, and then put it back in my jewelry box; tonight wasn't about the drama in my home life, it was about me spending time with a man who was actually interested in me.
"Girl you look good, Huey doesn't know what he's missing." I forced the tears to stay in my eyes; I was done crying over that man, plus I didn't want to ruin my fabulous makeup. The phone rang and my heart spiked to a rapid pace. I answered it and fought the smile when I hear Dane's voice. I unlocked the gate for him and told him which space he could park in.
"Well that's my cue girl, have fun, and don't be afraid to get a little dirty tonight." She winked at me and I gently shoved her. I walked into the back , into X's room, and grabbed his overnight bag just in case my date lasted too long on a school night.
"Baby, it's time for you to go with Aunty Cindy now." He looked up from the book he was reading; I was really starting to get worried, he hadn't watched T.V. in a while, and while I love that he is a bookworm, it's still not normal for a five year old to spend all their time reading and never ask to watch T.V.
"You look nice Mommy, where are you going?" He looked up at me wide-eyed and hopeful. He probably thought I was going out with Huey.
"Thank you baby. Mommy's going to dinner with a friend tonight."
"Oh." His crestfallen face broke my heart. I know he desperately wants Huey and I to get back together but I just can't go back to him; I won't allow Huey to break my heart, cheat on me, and still get to keep me like some obedient dog. I kneeled onto the ground and he ran into my arms.
"No matter what happens between Daddy and me, we're still your parents, and we will always love you X, know that. None of this is your fault my beautiful baby boy. Mommy and Daddy have made many mistakes in our lives, but you will never be a mistake. I love you more than anything in this world; I would kill and die for you." X squeezed me as tight as he could manage; sniffles escaped from his tight control over them. I looked down at my son; he looked so much like his father.
"Hey X we better get going before your Mom's friend gets here." Cindy called from the kitchen.
"Ok Aunty Cindy." He called back. I gave him a big wet kiss on the cheek which he made yuck sounds and wiped it off. I grabbed X's hand and walked him over to Cindy
"You look pretty Mommy, have fun." I smiled and waved as they walked down the stairs and into Cindy's range rover; she had traded her sports car in for it after she found out she was pregnant. I blew him a kiss and then closed the door. Not long after, the doorbell rang and a spike of fear worked its way into my stomach. For some odd reason I was incredibly nervous; I gulped down half a glass of water, checked my appearance one last time in the mirror, and opened the door. I had to hold in my laughter when I saw Dane's eyes widen to the point of flying saucers; it was comical.
"Jazmine…you look absolutely beautiful. I'm a luck man to be seen with you tonight. These are for you." He handed me a dozen red roses. A Cheshire cat smile expanded across my face; it was nice to receive flowers and be told you're beautiful every once in a while.
"Let me just put these in water and we can go. You're welcome to come in and make yourself at home." I smiled to him and grabbed a vase from the top shelf, filling it with ice water. He rubbed the front of his jeans as he sat down on the cream colored couch.
"Are you sure you're not secretly an interior designer? Anyone can appreciate your taste."
"Thank you, flattery gets you everywhere." I laughed. He picked up my white blazer and held it up for me to put on. His Southern style manners would definitely get him anywhere he'd like. I grabbed my white and black envelope clutch, took his hand and out the door we went.
…
"So you slaved away all summer at a lemonade stand to earn a pony?" He laughed as I recounted one of the most foolish times of my life. We were talking about some of our silliest childhood endeavors, and the lemonade stunt was definitely close to the top of my list.
"Yes, yes, you've had your laugh at mine, now what's your most embarrassing childhood memory?" I smiled and took a sip of the red wine he ordered with dinner. I was never a big drinker, but he ordered a good expensive bottle, and I am not one to waste gifts.
"You have to promise not to laugh."
"I will do no such thing." I struggled to hold in the giggles already bubbling up my throat.
"Ugh fine," He sighed in mock defeat. "When I was 10 I decided I was going to help my older sister, Shannon become more popular in high school."
"That doesn't sound too traumatizing."
"I'm getting there darling," I blushed a little at the nickname. Here I was acting like the high school football star had just smiled at me for the first time. "I knew the only way for her to be noticed more than Bianca St. James, the resident queen bee, was for her to stand out in a way no one else did. So I put blue dye in her shampoo and her bodywash."
"Oh my gosh you did not!" The giggles I was fighting earlier turned into chuckles barely concealed by a fake cough.
"I did, except Charlotte, my second oldest sister, had seen me do it, and unbenounced to me switched Shannon's stuff with mine while I was getting ready to shower."
"Oh good God almighty."
"Yeah, I spent the entire first week of school blue as a smurf." I tried immensely hard to stifle the laugh, but one glance in his piercing cerulean eyes and I was done for. We both burst into laughter and tried to hide our faces from the odd looks other couples shot at us. Our waitress smiled at our joy as she read us the options for dessert. After the amazing filet mignon and shrimp dish Dane ordered for me, I declined; I had no room left for dessert. But Dane ordered two raspberry New York cheesecakes anyway. His taste for food and wine was impeccable, and I couldn't resist having a few (all of it) bites. He discreetly, and against my wishes, paid for our meal and wrapped his arms around my waist. The ride back to my condo was pleasantly filled with easy conversation about a myriad of topics. He asked me about my favorite pieces I had done, what were my favorite childhood movies and games. He seemed so enraptured by me; it was a shame that as a married woman I'd forgotten what it felt like to have someone's full attention on me and my interests. He walked me up the stairs, but before I unlocked the door I had to ask him a question that'd been burning on my mind.
"How did you know about the restaurant? I've lived here my whole life and never seen it."
"That's because it's new, and I designed it." I was stunned. I had commented on how unique and breathtaking the concept was, modern black glass windows, sleek angles, yet not so harsh as to detract from the intimacy of a restaurant.
"You didn't want to show off when I commented on its beauty?" A smirk played on my lips.
"I didn't want to overwhelm you with the sheer magnitude of my awesomeness." He teased. Laughter once again rolled from my lips. I couldn't remember the last time anything but my son had made me laugh so hard my cheeks hurt. Once I settled down I looked up and was immediately captivated by the sheen of his eyes. The way he looked at me, it was as if there was no other woman in the world, no one else in the galaxy that he wanted to be with more than me. His hands slowly cupped my cheeks and he searched my face as if he was looking for something, some cue I was supposed to give him.
"I had a great time with you tonight, darling," His husky baritone-tenor voice rolled over my ears and twisted my stomach in a wave of anticipation. It sent sweet tingles through my body that made my muscles tighten. "I hope you don't find me too forward, but I would love to be able to call you, to see you again."
"I think that could be arranged." I had never heard my voice sound like that. It came out sexy and low, and if the way Dane licked his lips was any indication, it had a man practically begging on their knees. He slowly dipped his head to me, giving me time to back out if I wanted to; I didn't. Tonight had been one of the best dates of my life, and I wasn't letting it end without the perfect kiss. His lips met mine in a sweet, innocent kiss. His lips moved slowly over mine, guiding them in an intimate dance that lips had been doing for centuries. A fire, slow and warm, ignited within me, and I struggled not to let it consume me. His hand wrapped itself around my waist and pulled me close. I could feel the heat radiating from his body, and entering mine. Of their own accord my arms wrapped around his neck and into his polished hair; my hands grabbed fistfuls and pulled him close to me. There was a slight tension in his shoulders, and I knew what it was. He was straining to pull me close but keep me away from the erection in his expensive khaki slacks. The need for air overwhelmed us and we slowly broke apart. My lashes fluttered open to see that his eyes had again shifted to a deep sapphire blue, the color, I was beginning to notice, meant he was aroused.
My body screamed for me to invite him in, to take him wildly into me, but I couldn't. I didn't want this to be a one night flirtation that would leave me even more depressed and bitter than finding out my husband has/had a mistress, and I didn't want to sink to 'he who shall not be named''s level. Dane placed one more kiss to my lips then stepped away from me.
"I'm glad I said yes to tonight." His eyes sparkled at my admission, seems he was just as nervous as I was.
"It's late; I should at least let you get through the door before I start panicking on if tonight is an appropriate time to call you." A breathy, feminine, chuckle escaped as a smirk settled back onto his handsome face.
"Good night Dane," I smiled and unlocked the door.
"Good night Jazmine," He whispered, walking down the steps towards his car. He sent one last lingering look before walking down the rest of the steps and getting in. I smiled and closed the door. Sliding down the door to the floor, the smile would not remove itself from my face. I glance at the roses on the counter and bit my lip; I desperately wanted him to call me tonight.