Chapter 4: She Doesn't Hate Me

When the Hogwarts Express finally reached Hogsmeade station, Lily jumped off the train excitedly. She was so excited to be back. She said a friendly hello to the gamekeeper, Hagrid who responded with, "Al'righ, Lily?"

Lily couldn't stand the looks Marlene kept shooting her during the rest of the train ride. The Marauders had decided to leave shortly after they arrived which was a relief. James surprisingly didn't stare at her for the rest of the time he was there.

…………………………

James barely paid attention to any of the Sorting, he just clapped along when he noticed other Gryffindors clapping excitedly. He kind of forgot that this was his last Sorting, ever.

James didn't notice when Professor Dumbledore announced his name to the Great Hall, declaring his Head-ship along with Lily Evans. Sirius roughly pinched his side and pushed him up. Some girls along the table were giggling at him and winking in his direction, but he paid them no heed. He just stared at Lily, not really noticing anything around him. When he caught her eye, she gave him a small smile and sat back down. His stomach lurched, and not because he was hungry. James was still standing after the clapping had stopped. Did that really happen? Am I that hopeless that I'm starting to imagine things? Sirius rolled his eyes and pulled James back down onto the bench. He wasn't really hungry, and hardly noticed the conversation around him. Only when Sirius tapped his head sharply did he come out of his trance.

"Oy, Prongs. What's up with you?" Sirius asked with an eyebrow raised. James looked around at his friends. Their expressions were very similar.

"Prongs?" asked Remus, waving a hand in his face. "We're worried for you mate. It's your last Welcoming Feast and you're acting as cold as a Dementor,"

"What? What are you on about? It's nothing. Just confused is all," he replied.

"Okay, if you're sure Prongs," said Peter. All three boys did not look convinced, but continued on eating.

James sighed. He really should be enjoying his last Welcoming Feast. He tried to clear his mind of the red-headed, green-eyed beauty, but was horribly unsuccessfully.

…………………………

Lily was not hungry. She was just tired and wanted desperately to go to bed and not wake up till Christmas Break. She was NOT looking forward to Marlene's constant questions that night. She sighed. Why was she so confused anyways? Changing should not be this difficult. Her mind was constantly on James Potter and how his hazel eyes would look at her, like she was the only one in the room. The way he struggled to find the right words to say to her. She barely registered the fact that this was her last Welcoming Feast. She smiled at her friends and looked down at her untouched food. Well, if I get hungry later, I can always go to the kitchens for a little snack later on…

The feast ended with Dumbledore's traditional speech as always, reminding students of rules and other announcements. There was yet another Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher; the previous professor had run off with a Veela. The male students of Hogwarts were insanely jealous.

Lily made her way up the many stairs and corridors that led to Gryffindor tower. She felt as though she could drop in the hall and fall asleep instantly. Marlene would have none of this, she was too curious to let Lily sleep.

Once in the dormitory, Lily quickly ran to the bathroom. She quickly changed into her pyjamas and washed up. She and Marlene had a plan for when they wanted to talk privately without Nicole or Melissa listening. They would pretend to fall asleep and once Nicole and Melissa were asleep, Marlene would join Lily on her bed and put a silencing charm around them once closing the bed hangings. It was simple, but it worked.

Lily was starting to fall asleep when Marlene opened her hangings. Lily groaned, hoping that Marlene would forget about the interrogation. Too bad Marlene remembered everything.

"Lily, shh. They'll hear you," she whispered as she closed the hangings and sat on Lily's bed. She looked at Lily expectantly.

"What?" asked Lily to Marlene's expression.

"Well, what was that on the train?" she replied. Lily's last strand of hope that Marlene would not question her disappeared.

Lily sighed, "Haven't you ever heard of the saying, 'Curiosity killed the dog'?" Lily tried lamely.

Marlene looked at her disapprovingly. "Bloody hell, Lily. Just tell me, I'm your best friend," she said.

Lily sighed once again. Now she had to tell her, she used the 'I'm your best friend' line. Great. "Um. Okay, but this might take a while," Lily grimaced; there was so much she didn't know.

"Well, Hun, we have all night," replied Marlene.

"Okay, fine," said Lily defeated.

She quickly described to Marlene her want to be different and how she always chose her actions based on this want. Marlene proved herself as a worthy best friend by listening intently and making noises of agreement during all the right parts. Then, Lily reluctantly told her of her crush on James Potter.

"IhaveacrushonJamesPotter," Lily said very quickly and quietly.

"What?" said a confused Marlene.

Lily took a deep breath and said, "I have a crush on James Potter."

To Lily's surprise, Marlene smiled wickedly and stared at Lily with approval.

"Why are you looking at me like that? No disbelieving face? No 'Lily are you off your rocker' speech? No yelling?" she sounded oddly like Sirius did back in the Prefect compartment.

"Nope, because I knew it all along," said Marlene smugly.

Lily furrowed her eyebrows, "How is that possible? I thought I covered it up pretty well, I'm pretty sure that I made it clear that I hated James," she said confused.

"Lily, Hun, you made it so obvious that the only explanation was that you secretly liked Potter. Obviously," Marlene rolled her eyes at Lily's face.

Lily was confused by her best friend's logic. "What are you on about?"

"Well you tried making it obvious so that no one would suspect that you liked him, and your explanation of your weird desire to be different," Marlene made a face, "only proves me right," finished Marlene.

"Then why didn't you say anything?" Lily asked, still confused.

"Well, I assumed you weren't ready to tell me, and seeing as I had to force it out of you tonight, I was right again," said Marlene, quite proud of herself. "And also, I figured you would deny it anyway."

Marlene was right about that too. Blimey, she was good. Suddenly her stomach growled. She was not that tired anymore. Damn Marlene.

"Umm, well now that I got that out, I feel much better. I was so confused at dinner that I didn't eat anything. Want to make a quick trip to the kitchens with me?" asked Lily.

"Sorry Hun, but I've tired myself out from all this advice-giving and girl-talking. I'm going to bed. 'Night!" and she left.

Lily rolled her eyes and left the dormitory.

…………………………

After the feast, the Marauders decided to stay in the common room for a bit. They chatted and James thoughts were interrupted for a bit as Sirius decided to play an innocent little prank on an unsuspecting Peter. Peter ended up with orange hair growing rapidly out of his nostrils. The remaining Marauders laughed hysterically at Peter as his speech was getting affected by this orange mass of hair.

"Fyes, helf me! I fant breef!" sputtered Peter.

Remus, recovering first, took pity on Peter and reversed the spell. Sirius and James were still laughing and close to tears as Peter tried to get his breath back.

"Padfoot…gasp…not…gasp…funny…gasp…couldn't…gulp…breathe!" said Peter leaning against the couch.

"Sorry, Wormtail. Couldn't resist," replied Sirius, wiping tears from his eyes. James was still laughing quietly.

"Well boys," said Remus, "We should get upstairs, we have classes tomorrow,"

The rest of the Marauders reluctantly agreed and made their way upstairs. Now that there was no more distraction, James' mind was coated with thoughts of Lily. As they entered their dormitory and made their way to their respective beds, James spoke up.

"Hey, Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail. What do you reckon I should do about Lily?" he asked.

Peter, still upset about the prank, shrugged. Remus sat on his bed and looked at James, thinking. Sirius answered first.

"Well, wait a couple of days Prongs, and if she's still acting nice and whatever, then ask her out," he said, "And if she says no, well then you're back on square one," he finished simply. James scowled.

Remus rolled his eyes, "Don't listen to him Prongs. Just continue to act mature and normal around Lily for a change and see what goes on from there. Show her that you've matured and that you really do like her," he said wisely.

James nodded and went to sit on his bed. "Yeah, that's what I'll do, thanks Moony. Do you think she'll give me a chance?"

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look. "She'd be crazy not to Prongs, don't worry about it," said Sirius loyally. James nodded again.

"I think that I'm going to go down to the kitchens, I'm kind of hungry, anyone want to come?" James asked.

The three boys shook their heads, assuming that James needed time to think alone. James shrugged and left.

…………………………

Lily walked quietly towards the kitchens. She managed to avoid all professors, Filch and Ms. Norris. She entered the kitchens and was greeted by swarm of House Elves, her favourite being amongst the group.

"Pinky!" she exclaimed, "How are you?" she asked the frail, blue-eyed House Elf.

"Pinky is doing well Miss Evans," Pinky replied, "Can Pinky get something for Miss Evans?" she asked eagerly.

"Umm, is it alright if I have some of the Welcoming Feast? I didn't really eat anything before…" she trailed off as Pinky had already disappeared. She sat down at the replica Gryffindor table and waited for her meal. Not long after she sat down, food appeared on her plate and several other plates appeared full of extra food that could feed six extra people.

"Thanks, Pinky!" she said to the House Elf as she dug into her food hungrily.

Lily was eating pleasantly as she heard the kitchen portrait open. She couldn't see who had just entered. Oh no, she thought, what if it's a professor? I'm gunna get in so much trouble! She hastily tried to wipe her face of food particles. She strained her ears to hear a familiar voice.

"Pinky! Hey, how've you been?"

"Fine, Mr. Potter, sir! Would Mr. Potter like the usual?" asked Pinky.

Uh oh. Thought Lily, she was frozen in her seat with still a little bit of food at the side of her mouth.

"Uh, no thanks, Pinky. Can I have some of the Welcoming Feast instead?" he replied.

"Of course Mr. Potter! Actually, you are very lucky, sir! Someone is already here eating some of it!" she exclaimed.

Damnit, she's going to give me away! NO PINKY! Thought Lily desperately.

"Oh, really? Who…?" asked James, curious.

"Come and see for yourself Mr. Potter!" said an excited Pinky. Even the House Elves knew about James liking Lily. Word sure does get around.

James turned the corner and saw Lily sitting shocked at the Gryffindor Table. She had a little bit of food on her mouth, wearing pink plaid pyjamas and James thought she looked absolutely adorable.

"Hello Lily. Surprise seeing you down here," he said in his most casual voice.

She seemed to come out of her shook and blushed, "Uh, yeah. I didn't really eat much during the Feast. You?" she asked.

"Hmm, funny. I didn't eat much either."

They both fell silent. They weren't sure what else to say. James looked at his feet and Lily looked down at her plate. She was still hungry but decided that she should leave.

"Ahem. Um, well this was nice. I think I'm going to go -" she started.

"NO!" James shouted, "I mean, if you're still hungry, I mean, I could leave, I interrupted your dinner after all," he finished.

Aww, he's so sweet, and he looks so good…she sighed out loud and looked at him. She didn't say anything.

"Uh, Lily?" he asked, "Do you want me to leave?"

"OH! N-no, James. You can stay, want to eat with me?" she asked nervously. "I mean, if you don't want to that's fine, it's just a bit lonely and-"

"I'd love to," he said quickly.

He sat down across from her quickly because he would have fainted if he stood up any longer. Here he was, with Lily Evans, eating leftovers from that night's feast. He could see how nervous she was, like she was asking herself if it was the right thing to do. He would make sure she didn't regret it.

"So, Lily. How was your summer?" he asked as he piled food onto his plate.

"Horrible, really. My sister's a nightmare, I basically locked myself in my bedroom all day," she said. She looked confused. Why did I say that? He doesn't care about my problems…God, I'm so stupid.

"Really? What's so bad about her?" asked James. He was genuinely interested. He knew Lily had a terrible sister, she had told Remus, who told James. But he didn't really know that much about her.

"Well, she's basically a Muggle version of a pure blood. She only likes "normal" thinks and likes to call me a "freak" just because I'm a witch," she blurted. She hadn't meant to tell him, but it just sort of slipped out. Words just seemed to flow out around James; he had so much control over her.

"WHAT? That's terrible!" James was horror-struck. "Not only do you have to go through all the torment of those nasty Slytherins, but your sister too?" He was angry. Who did she think she was, treating Lily like that?

Lily shrugged. "It's really nothing, we've never been close. My parents said she was always thought that I was strange, I have red hair while she has blonde. And my eyes are green while hers are blue," she shrugged again. "We might be biological sisters, but we never really acted like it."

"I'm sorry, Lily," said James. He truly was sorry that Lily didn't have an older sister to love her, but had a monster that always put her down. "She's probably just jealous anyways," he added.

"Jealous?!" Lily scoffed, "I'm the last person Petunia would be jealous of. She has her perfect normal life with her perfect normal boyfriend and her perfect normal friends," she made a face of disgust.

"You're not jealous, are you?" he asked quietly.

"WHAT? Oh goodness, no!" she looked scandalized, "I could never live a life like that. It'd be too horribly boring. Life can't be perfect. That's the whole point of life. It's supposed to have flaws and unexpected events. Could you imagine living with the exact same routine and nothing ever happening? I could NEVER live like that," she stated.

James stared at her, eyes round, mouth slightly open. "I completely agree," he said. Blimey, Lily was a genius.

"Kind of like life here at Hogwarts without the Maraud-" Lily stopped suddenly. She wasn't supposed to say that out loud! DAMN! Now he's going to know that I find his pranks extremely funny! "I mean…"

James grinned like a maniac. She liked their pranks! Today was truly the best day ever. "Did I just hear Miss Head Girl Evans admitting that she liked the Marauders' pranks?" he said smugly, grin still firmly implanted onto his face.

"Um." Well really, what did it matter if he knew I enjoyed his pranks? "Who cares if I find your pranks funny? As long as they're not harmless, then they're fine, I guess," she admitted.

James was not expecting this. He was speechless. Truthfully, he expected her to deny it. But now that she admitted it, he wasn't sure what to do.

"Oh. Well then, would you object to me going off into the Slytherin Common Room right now, and say, colour Snivilly's hair, underwear and robes…rainbow?" James asked with a raised eyebrow, knowing she would not agree.

"You know where the Slytherin Common Room is?" she asked surprised, totally ignoring the question.

"Well, of course. Us Marauders know this school almost as well as Dumbledore himself," he said satisfied with himself. "But you didn't answer the question."

Lily rolled her eyes. There was that arrogance again. But today it was different. It was more jokingly than before. She found herself tolerating it. "No, I wouldn't object," she answered.

"What? You don't object?" he asked confused.

Lily laughed at his expression. "No, James, I don't," she found talking with him was pleasant, after she had gotten control of her nerves.

Now James was absolutely baffled. She had laughed around him, while talking to HIM. And she basically gave her permission to prank SNAPE! Was the world going to the dogs?

"Okay, fine then. Let's go right now," he said as he pulled her hand and walked towards the Kitchen entrance. He felt a jolt go through his whole body at the contact.

"What? James, you must be kidding!" Lily yelled. "I said I wouldn't object, not that I would accompany you!" she tried to pry from his grasp. He had a tight hold on her hand. She felt it tingle and she found herself enjoying it. The thought of being so close to James made her feel all warm inside.

"Resistance is futile, Lily dear," he said, grinning again. He noticed Lily was half-heartedly trying to fight him off. His spirits rose.

"Come on James. At least a different night; it's already 3:00 in the morning!" she said, finally becoming aware of the time.

Realizing that she was right, he let go of her hand and stopped walking. "Fine, I guess you're right, but you said another night, and I plan to take you up on that offer," he said, still grinning. Lily had agreed to prank Snape! With him! Another night!

Realizing what she had said, Lily knew it was too late to back down now. She sighed. "Fine, Potter. Another night."

James frowned. "What happened to calling me 'James'?"

"Oh! Sorry, I guess it's kind of a habit. Sorry, James," she smiled at him shyly.

"It's alright. I guess I still haven't got used to you calling me 'James' yet either," he admitted. "Come on then, let's go back to the Common Room."

Lily nodded and followed him out the kitchens. They quietly made their way back to the Common Room. Again, they avoided everyone.

When they were inside the common room, James asked, "Hey Lily. Can I ask you something?"

"Um, sure I guess," she said hesitantly.

"Do you still hate me, Lily?"

Lily was silent. How was she supposed to answer that? "James…" she started, "I never hated you. Goodnight!" And she ran up the Girls staircase.

James stared up at the stairs where she had disappeared. What? She never hated me? Damn girls and their riddles! Can't they just SAY what they mean to say for once?

As James made his way up the stairs, he actually thought about what Lily said. If Lily never hated him, then she must have liked him a LITTLE right? Or maybe she just said that so she didn't hurt my feelings? He though, No, she's never been afraid to hurt my feelings before…but she's different this year. DAMN! I'm never going to figure this out. He sat on his bed and replayed that night over in his head.

That actually happened right? He looked at his robes and noticed crumbs down the front. Yeeeup, that definitely happened. He answered himself. He changed into his pyjamas and lay down in his bed.

Wow. I ate dinner with Lily Evans.

No, I ate dinner with Lily Evans in the middle of the night.

Wait, no. I ate dinner with Lily Evans in the middle of the night and I didn't have to force her.

Nope. I ate dinner with Lily Evans in the middle of the night, I didn't have to force her and she seemed to have fun.

Wait a second. I ate dinner with Lily Evans in the middle of the night, I didn't have to force her, she seemed to have fun and surprisingly agreed to prank Snape with me!

Hold on, last one. I ate dinner with Lily Evans in the middle of the night, I didn't have to force her, she seemed to have fun, surprisingly agreed to prank Snape with me AND she doesn't hate me. Whatever that means. WOW.

Satisfied with himself, James fell into a peaceful sleep.