Authors' Note: You guys are awesome. Thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts that this story has received so far. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I meant to do it sooner, but I was busy with school, tennis, etc. Luckily, tennis has ended, and now I will be updating more frequently. Enjoy the chapter.

Chapter Four: Warped Words of Wisdom

"Well, that was useless," sighed Thalia.

"And we still have no idea where Annabeth is," said Piper.

"I have an idea!" said Clarisse. Everyone stared.

"Really, Clarisse?" Thalia asked warily. "Does it involve sticking someone's head in the toilet?"

"No. Not everything that goes on in my head involves sticking people's heads in toilets, Pinecone Face."

"That's news to me," muttered Rachel.

"Actually," continued Clarisse, "Annabeth has a lot of enemies, right?"

The three others exchanged glances. "What exactly are you—" Piper began. But she was interrupted by an IM.

"Sorry for the interruption," said Chiron, "But I have to speak to you regarding an important manner."

Rachel turned to look at the image of the camp director. "It's nothing. What's it about?"

Chiron's face turned serious. "I don't mean to accuse you girls, but the situation is getting out of hand. And since Butch saw you girls running away from the crime scene, then—"

"Crime scene?" interrupted Thalia. "Chiron, what exactly happened?"

He sighed. "You don't remember? I thought not, you seemed quite… intoxicated. You stole a car, I think. A red Ferrari. You left it at camp. Do you remember?"

"I think I'd remember stealing a car that expensive, Chiron," said Piper.

"You would know," snickered Clarisse. Piper glared at her.

"Regardless, something must be done before the mortal police find out. Can you find your way here?"

"Yeah, we're really sorry if it caused trouble for you. We'll probably be there in about an hour," Rachel replied apologetically.

"Alright, then. Wait a moment. Where's Annabeth? She was with you last night."

The girls looked at each other for an excuse. Finally, Piper spoke up. "Still in the hotel. Why?"

"Don't lie, Piper," chided Chiron gently. "I can guess from the looks on your faces that you have no idea where she is," he continued gloomily.

"Yes, but don't worry, we're going to find out before tomorrow," said Thalia.

"Really, there's no question that we'll have her back before the wedding," added Rachel.

Chiron shook his head. "Well, if there' one thing I learned from the Party Ponies, it's this: If you lose something, never, under any circumstances, try to retrace your steps. Trust me, you'll only end up tied to a tree while watching your prized Dean Martin collection cruelly smashed to pieces by an angry mob of Tokyo citizens while hiding from a drunken Scylla that has for some reason left the entrance for the Sea of Monsters simply because you accidentally—Ah, never mind." He quickly cut the connection.

"Angry mob?" asked Piper.

"Dean Martin?" questioned Thalia.

"Drunken Scylla?" laughed Clarisse.

"Okay, let's forget about Chiron's questionable experiences with his insane relatives. We've got to get to camp," said Rachel. She stepped on the accelerator.

..~0~..

The boys still hadn't gotten any closer to finding Percy. They did, however, find a new lead: a receipt for a place called the Spartan Bar & Grill, found in Grover's back pocket.

"Hey, guys, we should check this place out," said Nico.

Leo examined the receipt. It was stained with tequila and had some girl's number scribbled on the back. It had a short message, too:

Thanks for the tip. Good thing you won't remember what you really did for me.

~H

"Who's 'H'?" asked Connor, glancing over Leo's shoulder. "And what did you do for her?"

"I'm not sure we want to know," said Leo darkly.

"Okay, guys, we're here," said Nico. They got out of the car, and found themselves in the parking lot of the seediest-looking bar that any of them had ever seen. It was the type of place that parents don't let their children get within a mile of. Suspicious-looking guys were passed out in various places around it.

They walked inside the bar. Strewn about the bar were broken tables and chairs. And that wasn't even the strangest part. That was the giant cage in the center of the room with a sign that said, 'Please do not touch the chicken-pony'.

"What the hell is this?" asked Grover.

Just the, a bartender walked by, sighing gloomily as he wiped off the countertops. Then, he noticed them.

"What are you people doing back here?" he demanded angrily.

"Um, we just wanted to know—" started Grover.

"Know what? Know if it was okay to keep the chicken pony? Well, it isn't! I got a ton of phone calls today, and my boss is angry. The chicken pony was his! Do you know how rare they are?"

"Chicken pony? Is he talking about hippalektryons?" asked Connor.

"I think so," replied Grover.

The bartender kept ranting. "And look at all the damages you've done! You'll pay for this!"

"Fine, fine. How much? If we all pool our money, we can pay you back," offered Nico.

Meanwhile, Leo had gotten bored. He wandered off and started examining the ancient TV on the wall. Maybe with a few adjustments… He pulled out his screwdriver and went to work.

"Look, sir, we just wanted to know if you saw another guy with us," said Connor finally.

The bartender glared at him, annoyed. "Why, did you lose your boyfriend? The tall one with black hair, right? Don't get me started on him! He got into a huge fight with the boss, and then—"

"Hey, look what I did!" said Leo proudly. He gestured to the TV, which now had a built-in video game system and simultaneously downloaded music illegally.

"And now you've destroyed the TV," moaned the bartender. "Look—" suddenly, his expression changed. "Are those… high definition sports networks?"

"Yep," said Leo, grinning. "And look, a built-in stereo system."

"Well," said the bartender halfheartedly, "I think I'll reduce the destruction charges."

"Okay, then," said Nico. "Can we maybe talk to the owner?"

"No," said the bartender. "He rarely comes. Only when he's looking for a fight and can't find one elsewhere."

"Wait a second!" said Grover. "Who do we know who hates Percy and is always looking for a fight?"

"Don't tell me," groaned Connor.

"We have to go looking for a war god, don't we?" grumbled Nico.