A/N: Thank you so much for reading on! I've been very shocked and pleased by how many story alerts, favorites, and reviews I've been getting so far. Let me just say that you guys are SUPER awesome. Enjoy this chapter!

marksmom – I'm so happy that you enjoyed the last chapter! :) Thanks for reading and reviewing!

kaja1234 – I have continued and plan on updating on a regular basis. I really hope that you enjoy this chapter as well. Thanks for reviewing!

joytiger – Thanks! I've never written a kissing scene before, so I was nervous that I didn't quite pull it off well. You're review was very comforting! Enjoy this chapter.

Luv 2 cry – Aww, you are too nice! I always look forward to reading your reviews, and this one made me very happy. I hope this chapter will make you happy too. :)

beautiful fire warrior – Thanks for helping me out with my dilemma. I have finally mapped out where I want to go with this story, and your advice was very helpful!

misssnapeex – I can't even begin to describe how happy I was after reading your review. I hope I do not disappoint you with this chapter. Anyways, I have decided to dedicate this chapter to you since you really did make my day with your super sweet review.

LemonDropsWoolSocks – lol Yep, I gave in. If you actually had asked for a chapter every time, I would have admired your persistence and given in anyways. You're totally right. I couldn't have gotten away with a one-shot. I think I just wanted something I knew I would be able to complete for sure. No worries, though. I will definitely finish this one. ;)

Simply Alex – I like your username, but I admit that you scared me for a second because I have a friend with that name. Thank you so much for all the lovely compliments. I took notes on all the things you said about London! I decided to make him a chemistry major like you suggested, so thanks for your all of your advice! By the way, this chapter is dedicated to you and missnapeex!

kura-wolfgoddess – I'm very glad that I was able to make you laugh. There is some Facebook stalking occurring in this chapter, so look out for it. ;)

raineynight – Yay! Thanks for your review! I hope you love this chapter just as much.

Hortensia – You are a smart thinker! As you suggested, I decided to make Harry study chemistry so that he can have some more CHEMISTRY with Severus. Haha That was lame. I know….

Bakanika – Yes, Harry is quite determined to have and keep his relationship with Severus. Jude is an awesome Watson, and I thought he did a wonderful job in this movie. Just before Sherlock Holmes 2, I saw him in Repo Man. That was an…interesting movie, but I thought Jude Law did a good job with the character. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter update!

LIGHTNSHADOWS – Long distance relationships can be rough, so we will see how Snape and Harry manage. I'm happy that you like the flow of the story. I had to change things because Harry and Snape can't see each other face-to-face anymore, but I hope people will still like it.

Lade DestinyHope – Not to worry! This story isn't complete yet. It will be a full-length story. I agree that it would be ironic if he majored in something science related. Thanks for your suggestions!

Animegirl03 – Thank you so much! I hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint! :)

aryaarsay – Thanks for reading my story! I hate to disappoint you, but I'm trying to keep this story PG-13. ;) I hope you'll continue liking it anyways. Thanks for reading "What Not To Wear"! I kind of get embarrassed of it when I see people looking at it now, but you wrote such a lovely review for it. I will think about a sequel, but my main goal is to get this crazy story finished first.

"You know, my offer still stands," the blonde man repeated, staring meaningfully at The Door.

Instead of shaking his head at the room like he normally would, Harry looked over at his new friend sitting on a stool beside him around the kitchen counter. At first, he and Draco had not gotten together at all. Trying to get them to engage in polite conversation would be like asking Coke make room for Pepsi in the fridge or asking Megatron to help Optimus Prime with an oil change. It would never happen.

To put things nicely, the two were just too different. Draco had light hair; Harry had dark hair. Draco was relatively tall for his age. Harry, who was the same age, was below the average height (at least, that's what the lying doctors kept telling him). Draco's father wanted him to pursue a political career, so Draco "rebelled" and studied medicine. Harry wanted to save peoples lives and thought being a doctor would be the best option. Draco Malfoy was a trust fund baby with new BMWs, invitations to red carpet events, and enough money to buy his 4.0 GPA. Harry, on the other hand, was the typical poor college student who gorged on ramen noodles and studied hard for his grades.

All it took was one Organic Chemistry 293 class to get them to join forces. It just so happened that Draco and Harry were both barely passing the course. Rumor had it that the professor had refused Draco's generous bribe and has been flunking him on every assignments since. As for Harry, he didn't understand a single word in the textbook. In fact, he was prepared to file a lawsuit against Professor Malvado for ripping off hundreds of ignorant college students who were not told that Gibberish 101 was a prerequisite.

After the third week of classes, Draco overheard Harry mumbling about the incomprehensive reading and struck up a bargain. Harry would help Draco get back under the professor's good graces since the teacher surprisingly had a liking for the brunette, even if the man seemed to have a passion for marking red Ds all over Harry's labs. Still, Harry made a point of going to Malvado's office hours and dropping subtle compliments about Draco. In exchange, Draco would share his notes with Harry. So far, the tradeoff was working fairly nicely. Besides, Harry couldn't really complain about his C+. Admittedly, he did want to complain about Draco's habit of overstaying his welcome in Harry's flat, as was the case now.

"It's not that big of a deal," Harry claimed.

When another round of giggles sounded from The Dreaded Room, Harry tried his best to ignore it. Sadly, Draco was disinclined to do the same.

The blonde cocked his head in the direction of The Room. "Are you kidding me? If somebody demanded I live with Mr. and Mrs. Hillbilly or hand over my life savings, I'd give them every penny I owned," he claimed.

"That's great, Draco, but you don't live with them. You're not dealing with your two best mates. What could I say to them," Harry asked.

"I think it is great that you two are engaged, but some things have changed that I'm not really comfortable with," Draco started. Harry was surprised and very suspicious. Most of what left Draco's mouth was never as practical as this. "First of all, I am sick and tired of seeing your boxers and bras when I come back from class. I mean no decent person buys Hanes underwear. Hermione! Stop buying those romance books and start heading to Victoria's Secret! And you, Ron! Have you heard of Brooks Brothers? My lord, you people need help. Don't you realize that your clothes define you? Do you really want people to know you have no sense of style and empty wallets or are you willing to lie like any other normal person would? Now where was I…Oh! Second of all, you seem to have forgotten that doors have two functions. Not only can they be opened, but one can shut them, too. That last part is vital because there are certain things that I just don't want to hear. Honestly! You two should really think about joining an etiquette class. Lastly, it does not seem fair that only two people are paying for a flat housing a group of three. Who is paying for Hermione's showers? Who is paying when she charges her phone? Does it look like a man eating ramen noodles can afford all that? No, no he can't. Does a gay man deserve to pay for his mate's girlfriend? No, no he doesn't. Will any of this behavior persist from this moment on? No, no it won't. You see, Harry, you just need to sit these peasants down and confront them. If you don't…"

Harry found Draco's hypothetical speech impractical but entertaining. "Peasants," he parroted, barking out a laugh. "You are really something, Draco."

"Well what other type of person walks around with $1 underwear," the blonde questioned.

"I don't know. Maybe college students," Harry offered.

"No, selfish peasants."

"Oh. They're selfish now?"

"Yes. While they may be saving a few dollars, my eyes must suffer through the constant torment of the rubbish they call clothes. Even worse, they haven't even offered to pay for all of my visits to my optometrist."

"They haven't taken that etiquette class yet, remember? That don't know better. Besides, I caught you once glaring at my closet with a lighter in your hand. I doubt you approve of my wardrobe, either. Do I owe you an apology too," Harry asked, completely amused by his friend's tirade.

"And don't forget a thank you while you are at it. I just gave you the answer to all of your problems."

"You are completely right," Harry admitted as he pretended to search for something and then snapped his fingers. "Darn! I forgot to write it down."

Pouting, Draco was clearly not pleased. "Fine. It's your loss. But I will only forgive you if you tell me more about Fictional Frank."

Harry rolled his eyes. Aside from chemistry, Draco only wanted to complain about Ron and Hermione or pick apart his relationship with Severus (a.k.a. Imaginary Ian, Make-Believe Marvin, Pretend Peter, Made-Up Mark, and Invented Isaac). To be honest, Harry was glad to have somebody to talk to about his flatmate and his girlfriend with. Before Ron and Hermione were the only friends he had nearby to talk to, and there was no way he can complain about things they did to their own faces. Draco, on the other hand, was somebody he could vent to without worrying about how he would react. The youngest Malfoy always took sides with Harry and often made him laugh with his outrageous suggestions. It was only when they discussed Severus that Harry got genuinely annoyed with the blonde's presence. For some reason, Draco refused to believe that Severus actually existed, thus the arsenal of nicknames.

"He is doing just fine," Harry answered rather curtly.

"Oh, don't get touchy. You have to admit that the chances of you getting a long-term boyfriend in London are kind of slim. You've been going out for a month now?"

"Tons of people have long-distance relationships, Draco. And what do you mean by slim chances?"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "You managed to convince a guard, who is sworn not to speak a word or move an inch, to fancy you in a week. Unless you're some magician in disguise, I'm having troubles imagining you and Make-Believe Marvin dating."

"Do you want to see his Facebook page?"

Wrapping an arm around Harry's neck, the blonde leaned in and gave his friend a skeptical look. "Do you know how easy it is to create a fake profile? How would I know that Pretend Peter's page is actually real?"

Groaning, Harry left to go to his room and returned with his Dell laptop. He then opened up the Internet browser and placed the computer on the counter between the two of them. Yes. His homepage was his boyfriend's Facebook wall. There is nothing wrong with that. After all, Severus had been warned about all of this a fair amount of time in advance.

"You are so lame, Harry," Draco mumbled as he scrolled down the page. "There is absolutely nothing here."

Frustrated, Harry snatched his computer and snorted. "Just because he hasn't uploaded any pictures doesn't mean that there is nothing there, Draco. Did you even bother reading our posts?"

"He only has one friend," Draco stated with a smirk.

"Read the posts, Draco!"

"Bloody hell. Keep your pants on. God knows I don't want to see what brand of underwear you wear."

"Just read."

Harry Potter

See? I told you that you would like Facebook!

Like – Comment – See Friendship

Severus Snape I don't think I've despised anything more in my entire life.

Harry Potter That's because you just started using it.

Severus Snape And coincidentally today I will also stop using it.

Harry Potter *puppy dog eyes* Won't you give it a try for me?

Severus Snape …

Harry Potter Pllleeaaassseee

Severus Snape Fine, you insufferable brat. I just hope you realize that this ChirpBook site is a complete and utter waste of my precious time.

Harry Potter ChirpBook?

Severus Snape BirdSpace. Whatever this thing is called.

Harry Potter BirdSpace?

Severus Snape That was a typo. I meant MyBird.

Harry Potter You do realize that the top of the page says Facebook, right? Let's just focus on one social networking site at a time. We can save Twitter and MySpace for later.

Severus Snape There are more?

Severus Snape Bloody hell.

View all 24 comments

"And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the result of mixing two clueless idiots and the World Wide Web," Draco drawled. "Do not worry. They will not breed."

Harry rolled his eyes. "He was just joking," Harry protested, though he had his own doubts.

"Well, but of course," Draco mumbled. "This was obviously a perfect example of friendly banter between two lovers, soul mates even."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you well, Malfoy," Harry grumbled.

"Sarcasm? I only wear Armani."

Harry frowned and tried to decide if Draco was being serious. One never knew with that one. "So you still don't believe me?"

"Imaginary Ian has yet to convince me. Sorry. On the bright side, you have convinced me that you need help as quickly as possible. Some new pants wouldn't hurt either."

Just as Harry was about to defend his favorite pair of jeans, Hermione and Ron stumbled into the kitchen, Ron heading straight to the refrigerator. Hermione was laughing yet again, and Harry offered up his seat to her. Consequently, Harry received a long glare from Draco who was likely blaming him for only buying two stools and for having the audacity of letting "Mrs. Hillbilly" near him. Gratefully, Draco kept his mouth shut.

"Are you okay," Harry asked his giggling friend.

Wiping away a tear, Hermione tried to compose herself. "Oh, I'm s-sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. It's just t-that…" More giggles. "Ron is so hilarious. Ever since we came back from London, I have been trying to teach him how to sort his clothes, and he still puts the reds with the whites. You should see his closet! He has more pink shirts than my baby cousin!"

Harry frowned. "Wait. This whole time you've been laughing because Ron can't do laundry," he questioned in puzzlement.

"Yeah. What did you think I was laughing about? We practice every day, and every time he makes some mistake and throws our clothes all over the place," the girl responded. "He doesn't want to stop until he does it perfectly, but he ruins every load."

Draco's eyes widened in horror. "I think lameness is contagious. I'll be leaving now. Text me when this place has been quarantined," the blonde declared, scooting back in his stool and promptly heading toward the door.

Ron finally removed his head from the refrigerator and staggered over with a handful of snacks. "What's his problem," he growled, a slice of ham dangling from his mouth.

Harry merely shrugged. It would take him days to fully answer that question. Instead, he decided to pull out his phone and contact the last sane person he knew.

Sent to Guard #3

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Draco's stupid. And I miss you.

Sent to My Incessant Stalker:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. Your friends are weird. Have a good night.

Sent to Guard #3:

Roses are red. Tulips are too. Call me tomorrow. Or I'll feel so blue.

Sent to My Incessant Stalker:

All of your poems are horrible. Quitting your day job would be deplorable.

Harry laughed. Dating Sarcastic Dr. Seuss had its perks…and insults. He sent one last text before heading off to bed.

Sent to Guard #3:

XOXO

A/N: Harry's last text was supposed to be a heart, but FFnet won't let me add a less than symbol. :(

I hope that none of you had troubles finding this story again. It is now officially listed as incomplete and will remain so until I load the final chapter. I know that this chapter was a bit different because Severus wasn't physically with Harry but don't get too worried. I promise that the story will still be just as good. I even finished mapping out guidelines for the plot, so things should run smoothly. ;) Thanks for reading!

I also wanted to add that since I've been getting such amazing reviews lately, I've decided to start dedicating certain chapters to a reviewer or two for each chapter. If you've been chosen, you'll see it in my response to your comments. Obviously, this story won't published into a book and I LOVE all of the reviews, but I kind of like doing something special for the reviews that really make my day. Have an awesome week!

~Marginal Benefits

Oh, I also meant to mention that I have no biases against brands of underwear, unlike dear old Draco. In fact, I went into a Victoria's Secret store once on my own and got totally intimidated. It was just too much for me. I guess I'm no cooler than Hermione and Ron. Oh well…