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Chapter Four: Girls and Boys
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I've got to say, my week was improving at such a drastic rate that by Tuesday afternoon the events of the day before had all but been forgotten about. I'd had no more run-ins with Jasper (fortunately) or Cullen (who I'd decided must have been really pissed off at whatever I'd done to offend him that he'd even considered speaking to me) and was able to put Staring-Gate so far behind me that it may well have reached Russia. Angela and I were going to Port Angeles ostensibly to shop for prom dresses but in reality we'd planned nothing more than going to a half-decent coffee shop to pig out on triple chocolate brownies and cinnamon lattes (mmm...Christmas-y) before driving back to the Reservation to hang out with Jacob. I didn't like the look on Angela's face when I told her about that last little arrangement: seeing as I'd just managed to dispel any unscrupulous thoughts she might be entertaining regarding Cullen and me, I didn't really fancy having to deal with her sudden shipping of me and Jacob.
Thanks to the miracle of free periods, I had no class and was hanging around the parking lot waiting for her (she had Mason, and therefore my pity), taking the rare opportunity to enjoy the cloud-free Forks sky and unobstructed watery sun. The place was pretty much abandoned, the rest of the student body either walled up inside the school or else already on their way to First Beach. Really, I didn't understand how people got so excited when the Pacific Northwest decided it was a good time to stop raining, especially when it wasn't exactly heat-wave weather. It must work on the same logic as the admiration for Cullen's Volvo: maybe the clouds had addled their brains.
Just as I was contemplating moving towards a bench on the grassy area (it'd taken a lot for me to stop calling it a grassy knoll) in front of the science building, a small figure came tumbling out of the shadows of the gym and hurtling towards me.
"Alice?" I asked as she came closer. Something was wrong, something must have happened because even I, unobservant as I was, realised that the expression on her face was anything but ordinary. "Alice, are you okay?"
She glanced up at me, stricken, and shook her head furiously before launching herself at me. To say I was surprised was an understatement: I didn't hug, I wasn't a hugger but it seemed that Alice was. "Oh Bella!"
Alright, I could get through this. Really, I could. It was all in the mind. All I had to do was pretend Alice was Renee. Simple.
Or not, because as overly expressive as my mother was, she usually took any emotional upheaval out on the furniture.
"There, there," I muttered, patting her lightly on the back all the while wondering if I'd jumped into some sort of portal that had transformed me into Isabella Marie Walton.
"Bella, he-" The rest was inaudible: she'd flung her head into my shoulder, leaving me with one completely redundant thought – at least I'd put on deodorant that morning. At the same time, though, I was thinking how it was possible for Alice to get so worked up about something when she hadn't even been at Forks High for two days. Maybe she was highly strung.
Something moved to my left, catching the corner of my eye, and I tried to manoeuvre Alice to a position where I could see what it was.
And the heavens opened, and all became clear.
Jasper and his scary-ass girlfriend Maria emerged from behind the gym in a rather rumpled state. Huh – poor Alice. It was a general rule of thumb not to go near the backs of empty buildings when the weather was nice and the classrooms empty.
Jasper glanced over at us: I couldn't make out the look on his face but I was willing to guess pride was pretty prevalent.
"Alice," I started, trying to unfasten her from my body, "Did you see something...not PG-13?" She nodded again. "Don't worry, they do it all the time." I'd thought my words would go some way to soothe her, letting her know that she wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last to catch a glimpse of the two of them...enjoying each other's company, but it had the opposite effect. I think there might have been tears.
Maybe she was a Mormon, I mean, I suppose Mississippi was sort of sheltered. But, hang on, wasn't that Utah?
"But I don't understand...how...it's so gross."
Oh, I miss the nineties.
"I know, but that's Jasper and Maria. They're very expressive." Bella, thou art the queen of the understatement.
It took her several minutes but she eventually got to the point where she could stand without making me feel like the rock to her limpet. "Maria?"
"Yeah."
"That's a really pretty name," she sniffed. "She's really pretty."
Pretty wasn't a word I would have used to describe Maria: gorgeous, sultry man-eater yes, pretty no, but I wasn't going to tell Alice that for fear of inciting another wave of tears.
"You think she's pretty, you should see Rosalie Hale," Off her questioning look I explained, "Jasper's cousin."
"Oh." She nodded and took a big sniff. I did a quick inventory of my pockets: there had to be a tissue somewhere. And yet, there wasn't. Brilliant.
"Yeah." The conversation was getting stale and I had no real clue how to proceed without sounding like the complete idiot and social outcast that I was, so I grasped the next thought that floated into my head with both hands. "Hey, Angela and I are going to drive out to Port Angeles after school – do you want to come?"
"Port Angeles?"
"Yep."
"Does it have a Starbucks?"
"Nope." Capitalism hadn't really hit this side of the Pacific Northwest yet.
"Good."
In the time it took for Angela to finish her class and meet us in the parking lot, I'd heard what I assumed to be Alice's entire life history but I still had no idea why she'd decided to move to Forks. I mean, if I had the world at my feet, and the freedom to go where I pleased, I'd be out of here in a shot. Her answer was the same every time I asked. "Oh, just fancied a change."
To my mind, New York was a change, LA was a change, Chicago was a change, Forks was just regression.
"Oh, look Bella, there's that guy." She pointed one of her tiny hands in the general direction of the entrance to school.
"What guy?"
Was it too much to wish that she meant Mike Newton? I'd even take another bout of hysterics over Jasper so long as when I turned round my suspicions would prove to be completely incorrect.
"The guy that was staring at you earlier on."
Hello pin, meet balloon. Hope you're happy together.
"Is he staring now?" Did I care?
"No."
Clearly, I didn't. After all, Cullen = asshole.
"Good."
"He's nice looking."
"And?"
"Nothing." She was trying to be coy. "Just, you know..."
"Uh huh. And no," I emphasised with a shake of my head.
She moaned and began to do this scary bouncing thing last seen in some sort of lame-ass horror film. "Oh come on Bella, he's hot, he can't stop looking at you-"
"He can. He's not looking at me now," I pointed out, waving to Angela as she approached. "You've cheered up, by the way."
"Don't try to change the subject."
I called Angela's name, deciding that the best way to deal with Alice was to ignore her.
"Hey," she looked at Alice inquisitively and then back at me.
"Alice had a run in with Jasper and Maria." Angela was immediately sympathetic. "I said she could come with us this afternoon."
"Great! Alice, how do you feel about shopping?"
Turns out that Alice didn't have much of an opinion on shopping and even if she had she didn't have the money to spend, so we ended up bypassing the mall and spending the rest of the afternoon in the coffee house down the block. Alice immediately went for anything and everything that remotely hinted at having chocolate in it so that, by the time she had paid, I was musing on how exactly she managed to stay that thin if this was her usual diet.
"Um...that's a lot of chocolate," Angela started, glancing at me warily. I just shrugged.
"Chocolate's good," Alice answered.
"Yeah but..."
"I just saw a guy's you-know-what for the first time while he was about to...do that thing...with his girlfriend. I think I'm entitled."
"Alright." Neither of us were brave enough to give further voice to what we were thinking so we dropped the topic. Unfortunately, this led Alice's mind to even more nefarious plans.
"Angela, I think we've got a mission."
"We do?"
"Yes: Get Bella a boyfriend. Now, I was going to go for the Hot Staring Guy."
"Hot Staring Guy?"
"Cullen." I offered, begrudgingly.
"Good plan."
"Angela!" I exclaimed. Alice's Plan 1: Angela's sense of loyalty 0.
She ignored me, "But I don't know, Edward Cullen could be too much work to take on. I mean, they haven't even spoken yet."
Alice turned to me so quickly that she sprayed me with crumbs from the muffin she held in her hand, "What? How is that possible?"
"That's not the worst of it. They've sat beside each other for a full year."
Et tu, Angela?
"Bella!"
"What?"
It seemed I'd actually shocked Alice into speechlessness because she sat there for a while looking like the proverbial goldfish in a bowl. I figured, however, that this wasn't a good thing as the chances of an explosion a few moments later increased exponentially.
And I was right.
Most of what she said went in one ear and out the other, a habit I guessed my genes had picked up from Charlie, but I could discern the main points: I was stubborn, I should pluck up the courage and talk to him, I wasn't going to ever get a boyfriend if I carried on this way et cetera, et cetera.
"You're missing the obvious here: he hasn't talked to me either. Anyway, I said hello to him on the first day and he just completely blanked me."
"Bella holds grudges," Angela piped in.
"I do not hold grudges."
"Then what are you doing with Edward?"
"...Holding a grudge..." I stammered. Note to self, never attempt to out-argue the Vice-Captain of the Debate Team. Colossally bad idea. "Anyway, I'm not interested in Cullen. End of story."
Alice seemed mollified – yay, but Angela was still tapping on the side of her cup. This was not good. Angela was never one to go all 'Pinky And The Brain' on me, but, when pushed, her schemes were up there with the best of them. "But then there's Jacob."
Alice's Plan 2: Angela's sense of loyalty 0.
I'm pretty sure Alice squeaked. At any rate, the bounce had started again. "Jacob?"
"He's one of my best friends, please don't go there."
"That's no excuse," Alice said, a triumphant look on her face, "He could be your Gilbert."
"My what?"
"You know, from Anne of Green Gables."
"Yeah right."
"Bella, don't be such a cynic."
"I'm not a cynic."
"You are," Alice took another bite of the muffin, "And you're just closing yourself off from love."
Hmm...how to get out of this situation?
Retaliate.
"Alice, you don't even have a boyfriend yourself so I don't see the need for you to interfere in my love life."
It was like kicking a puppy and I felt like complete crap afterwards because the tears from earlier began to well in her eyes again.
"I know. It's just...You've been so nice to me and I just wanted to do something nice for you too, especially after what happened this afternoon." Her voice was weak and remorse darted through me with every word she spoke.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" I trailed off, doing that awkward arm rubbing thing that, along with patting someone's back, was one of the only weapons in my comfort arsenal. "I'm socially challenged." She smiled a small smile.
"I picked up on that."
Next step, offer the olive branch.
"So yeah, do you want to come over to La Push tonight? Jacob's having a barbeque on the beach there."
It was almost freakish the alacrity with which she perked up, "I can meet him? Hell yes!"
Great.
Big hole, this is me.
A/N: Right, I realise this chapter was a little thin on actual action but in reality it's the first part of the next chapter...the second part, I promise, will contain Jacob and Edward. And, very possibly, words between our leads.
The song used in the title is by Blur, all rights belong to them: please see my profile for the link to the video...it's brilliant.
Once again, thanks to everyone reading this story but it'd be even better if people could review.
Remember, reviews are better than Alice and Angela's nefarious plotting.