I miss simplicity. Hunt, trade, protect, and repeat. That was my life and it seems so far removed from my reality now. The young girl who provided for her family and remained detached from the outside world is definitely a memory now. How would that girl feel about the day I have ahead of me? Would she believe me if I told her she would be married to the baker's son? Married…. and to Peeta of all people. She would never believe me. That Katniss swore off marriage and love yet here I am lying in bed watching my husband sleeping so peacefully and all I can think of is how much I love him and how I wish we could do this toasting by ourselves.
I reach out and lightly brush my fingertips through the waves of hair that are hanging in his eyes. I begin to wonder if our kids would have his hair or mine. I love his unruly golden hair. His eyes begin to flutter open and he smiles at me sleepily.
"Hey you." He whispers groggily.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I say apologetically.
"Can't sleep?"
"Not really. Nerves I guess." I reply. Peeta grabs me and pulls me close.
"You know we're already legally married so you can't chicken out. You're officially stuck with me." He says kissing the top of my head.
"You aren't what I'm nervous about. You're the one thing I'm sure of." I say staring into his honest blue eyes.
"Thank you." He whispers to me.
"Thank you? For what, being a basket case? "Peeta smiles and buries his face in my hair , as he kisses the top of my head.
"No. For braving the crowds and your fears. I know you're going through with this for me. You'd probably be content if we lit a fire right now and pulled out some day old bread from the cupboards."
"Oooh is that an option?" I ask teasingly.
"No it's not. Go to sleep" He says , giving me one last kiss before we both close our eyes .
I awaken to find my bed cold.I turn to find a note on the pillow next to mine.
I didn't want to wake you. I have a lot of errands to run for tonight and then I'm getting ready with the guys at your old place. Everyone else will be there to help set up so try to be nice. I'll see you tonight. I love you and don't worry.
Always,
Peeta
Everyone else? Who is everyone else and what needs to be set up?I thought all we needed was bread and fire? I think to myself. This day is not off to a good start. I can already feel the pit forming in my stomach and I need to take a few deep breaths to stay calm. I remind myself that it's only one day and this is important to Peeta.
As I get dressed I can hear movement and bustling downstairs. Apparently "everyone" is here and they've already started setting up for the toasting. Once I dress I reluctantly head downstairs and brave the inevitable.
My living room is filled with people hustling around in a manner I can only accustom to bees surrounding a hive. Sae's busy in the kitchen while Delly is running back and forth placing flowers and cloths here and there .I catch a glimpse of Annie as she diverts Finn from pulling down Delly's carefully placed decorations and my mom sits at the kitchen table tying ribbons onto satchels of some kind. I have just decided to turn back around and sneak out the back door when I hear a familiar bubbly chirping that can only belong to one person.
"Well look who decided to join us! Where do you think you're off to Miss. We have a big big day ahead of us and you're already behind schedule thanks to the amount of time you've slept in."
"Hello Effie .It nice to see you. I didn't realize you'd be arriving so early." I say in a voice that is as excited as I can muster.
I was pretty adamant that I only wanted close family and friends to witness the toasting. Effie has been through a lot with Peeta and I and after much discussion we decided she belonged at our real toasting. She sticks out like a sore thumb in our drab district. Today Effie is sporting a canary yellow wig and a dress adorned with yellow and white feathers.
"Of course I'm here early. Who else would tend to the details of today and make sure no cameras invade this very exclusive event." She whispers to me in a top-secret voice. "Don't worry .I've got the house surrounded, Tom's on the porch. Vick and Rory are patrolling the perimeter of the house. There is no way any cameras will sneak their way into this special day. Now, let me take a look at you." She says while holding my arms out and rotating me around. "Honestly Katniss, would it kill you to let you nails grow out? I do wish you would have let me bring the prep team. They could do wonders for you. Oh well! We'll just have to make lemons from lemon aide, as they say."
Effie continues to ramble on about my day's itinerary, beauty regimen, and the proper manners to remember throughout the evening and my head begins to spin. I gladly welcome the loud , "Where the hell are you brainless?" that echoes through the hallway.
I race to Johanna hugging her tightly like a lifeline, "Thank god! Save me!" I whisper desperately in her ear.
"Effie I'm stealing the bride for a while we've got business to take care of."
"But what about her body polish and manicure."
"It can wait we've got hours. "Johanna says as she grabs my arm and pulls me toward the front door.
"Oh fine. I suppose I'm needed to organize the outdoor seating and decor, but hurry back there is much to do."
"Sure whatever you say." Johanna replies.
"I owe you big time!" I say to Johanna as I take a breath of fresh air.
"Anytime. I still can't believe you two invited Effie. She's enough to drive me all the way off the deep end." We share a laugh and continue on our walk.
After Johanna and I have roamed around District 12 for an hour, I realize I have to face the inevitable and we begin our walk back toward my house where I can only imagine , a bustle of activities and invasion of privacy await me.
Johanna leaves me to go get ready and I'm left to brave what's behind this door alone.I enter the house and I'm immediately hit with the sweet smell of wild flowers. Inside it's actually eerily quiet .The sitting room and stair railing is filled with hand tied bouquets and arrangements tied with white ribbons. Although I hated having everyone invading my home I have to admit the place actually looks really pretty. As I allow my eyes to take in the details my friends and family added to my home my eyes fall upon a worn intricately woven rug that sits in front of the fire-place where Peeta and I will do the toasting. I'm drawn to it for some reason. It's not strikingly pretty, in fact it's colors are faded and it's edges worn but it cause emotions to stir within me that are unexpected. My sentiment is interrupted by the soft sound of shuffling feet. I turn to find my mother standing behind me.
"When your father and I had our toasting it was just the two of us. Your grandparents disapproved of me marrying a miner and your father's family had passed away long before. On the night that I was set to leave my childhood home your great grandmother brought me this rug." Her eyes begin to gloss over with tears as she continues. " She explained to me that my grandfather and her had knelt on this rug for their toasting and they had a marriage of love and respect. She rolled it up, gave it to me, and that was the last time I ever spoke to her."
That's why it seemed familiar and tugged at my heart. I remember the rug from a photo of my parent's toasting.
"Mom…I um…thank you." The stress of the day and the kind gesture causes me to tear up and my mother comes to console me. For once in a long time I allow it. I rest my head on her shoulder as we share a long overdue embrace.
"I have one more thing for you, but don't feel obligated to … just follow me."
My mother leads me upstairs to my bedroom where I see something hanging in the closest.
"Is that your …"
"My dress. Yes it is."
"But I thought you sold it . " After my father's passing when times got really tough , my mother was forced to sell all of her old possession from her days as a merchant. Apparently she couldn't part with some of it.
"I tried Katniss, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I noticed you didn't have anything picked out to wear and I thought you could wear this. I mean if you want to."
I approach the dress and run my fingers over the antique cream-colored fabric. Most of the dresses my mom owned growing up were blue or gray. This dress stands out from her usual garments. It is beautiful in a simple way.
"Can I try it on?" I ask her.
"Of course, let me help you." My mother beams.
The dress is extravagant by district 12 standards and bland by Capitol standards. People usually just wore their reaping clothes or hand me downs from friends or family for a toasting. My mother's special dress was an unusual occurrence. It has soft flowing fabric that looks fitted but moves easily .The back falls into a deep v and the lace cap sleeves come slightly off the shoulder. It's so feminine and slight that I feel like an impostor wearing it. It belongs on someone equally as feminine like my mom or Prim. I sadden thinking of how beautiful Prim would have looked in this dress.
I breathe a sigh of relief as my mother fastens the last button on the fitts perfectly. Although I have a trunk full of dresses in the basement that I wore on the Victory tour I couldn't imagine wearing anything other than the dress that hangs on my body right now.
"Thank you mom. I love it." I say. My mother starts tearing up but catches herself.
"Good. I'm glad you like it " she manages to get out . "I drew a bath with lavender in it for you and you'd better hurry to enjoy the peace and quiet because the ladies are just off for an hour or so getting dressed for tonight. I can come back and help you get dressed if you'd like."
"I'd like that mom. Thank you."
She nods her head and leaves the room.
I soak in the bath for twenty minutes or so when I hear a tapping on the door.
"I'm not decent Effie." I shout as I rise from the bath wrapping myself in a towel. Suddenly the bathroom door opens and I almost scream from the startle it gives me. My fears are soon set to rest when my eyes settle on an out of breath red faced Peeta.
"What are you doing here ?I thought you were getting ready with the guys? Are you okay ? Is something wrong? "I begin to panic.
"Shhh. " He says as he grabs my face and kisses me as if he hasn't seen me in months. "I'm fine .I just missed you and had to see you before everyone got here. The girls had the door blocked and wouldn't let me in. Something about bad luck so I climbed up the trellis and in through the window."
"Are you insane ! You could have broken your neck!"
"I'm fine! What about you? How are you coping?" I think about it for a minute and realize the anxiety I was feeling earlier has all but disappeared.
"I'm actually excited. I feel great. I miss…" my words are interrupted by a firm tapping on the bedroom door.
"Katniss are you in there? The door's locked and we are behind schedule, Tick Tock." Effie says from behind the closed door.
Peeta and I begin to giggle like children.
"Coming Effie hold on." I shout "You're going to get us in trouble. You better go." I tell Peeta as I kiss him goodbye chastely.
"I love you." he says as he lowers his body out of the bedroom window.
"I love you too now go." I whisper .Once he is on his way I drop the towel I'm wear and motion to put on my robe.
"Totally worth the climb." Peeta says from the open window as he stares at my naked form. Apparently he never left.
"Would you go! You're impossible." I whisper throwing my towel at him.
"Okay I'm going. I love you ….I really going this time." He winks at me and disappears from site.
Soon Effie and my mother come in to help me dress. My mother braids my hair into a simple side braid and places Primrose flowers throughout the weaving. They're like a little piece of Prim that can be with me when she's can't be. I appreciate the small detail. Effie and I reached a compromise about my makeup. We settled for a light pink polish on my nails, a small amount of blush, and light lip stain .I wanted nothing and Effie wanted me looking like I stepped out of a Capitol fashion magazine so this was a happy medium. Soon I can hear the guest arriving and it's time to begin the toasting.
"Are you ready Katniss?" My mother asks.
I answer immediately and truthfully, "I'm actually surprised at how ready I am." I tell her smiling. With that we descend down the stairs where my new life is waiting to begin.
Hopefully you all enjoyed this. Sorry for the wait, real life got in the way but I fully intend on bringing this story to completion so stick with it. As always your reviews and feed back are much appreciated.
After some suggestions from readers as well as for my own sanity I've decided I need a Beta, however I have no idea how that relationship works you have any recommendations or info please PM me ,thanks. Until next time :)