Chapter 04 The Report
Quanktumspirit: "Please review, I only own Salma, Antonio and any other cat you don't recognise, Puss and Kitty belong to Dreamworks. Written date: Tuesday 28th August 2012, re-written date: Wednesday 13th February 2019."
The evening was very beautiful, using the stars above their heads Salma and Antonio ran back out of San Ricardo, and off to Jack and Jill's campsite, to deliver the report on Salma's failure.
Antonio was cursing under his breath, mumbling one insult against Puss after the other and just imagining slicing that orange-furred cat's head off, he hated him so much. Whiles the two were running they didn't speak a single word with one another.
At Jack and Jill's campsite, the two thieves have just finished plucking and cooking some wild geese for dinner. They have worked on building traps and taking care of some 'special someones' hidden away. The two bandits have just returned to their original camp sight about half an hour ago.
Jack looked up from the fireplace and scanned around the night, "Where are Antonio and Salma now? They said they'd be back by nightfall."
"Don't worry my dear." Jill chuckled, "We have an ace card against both Salma and Antonio, they wouldn't dare cross us if they value their lives."
Jack nodded his head and patted a side pocket of his, there a key was hiding for their 'secret' hidden place.
Finding Jack and Jill's camp wasn't too hard, it was the only campsite outside of San Ricardo. Once the cats arrived they stood in front of Jack and Jill. Jack and Jill have just finished plucking two wild ducks and were roasting them over the campfire for dinner, as well as drinking pints of vodka.
"We've returned masters," Salma said bowing to Jack and Jill.
Antonio nodded his head as well, as they sat in front of Jack and Jill. The humans nodded their heads and smiled at their two cats.
"Indeed you two have, as promised. And, are Puss in Boots and Kitty Softpaws now split up from one another?" Jill asked.
Jack picked a blade up and started cutting the duck up, he placed bits of duck on two small plates before handing them over to Salma and Antonio.
Antonio sighed and kneeled in front of Jill, facing the floor disappointed.
"We are very sorry sir and madam, but no. After 5 flirting attempts, and one kiss Puss still hasn't shown any interest in Salma." Antonio sneered and glared at his wife.
Salma glared back at her husband, "Puss in Boots is definitely a heavy nut to crack, since becoming Kitty Softpaws boyfriend he's remained faithful to her and he clearly loves her with all his heart."
"We see, so Salma are you going to try and win him over tomorrow? We need those two apart from one another before we can initiate phase 2." Jack explained looking at the cats.
Salma sighed and shrugged her shoulders, "I can't promise he will react any differently than today, but I'll try a different approach, maybe just talking about interesting subjects could keep him distracted, or play with a bit of light to get him away from Kitty."
"We'll see. Anyway, dinner is ready you two." Jack smiled.
He got his and Jill's used bowls, filled them with more duck stew, and placed them on the floor for Salma and Antonio to consume. Jill rolled her eyes and got a water flask, tipping a bit of water into a 3rd bowl she handed the hard-working cats something to drink as well. The cats thanked them and consumed the meal up.
Jack sighed and pulled his sword out, he started sharpening it whiles mumbling more insults towards Puss and Kitty, Jill in the meantime worked through her mind what the actual plan was. Which was to have Puss in Boots betray Kitty, they break up and then they can kill them both. But since Puss didn't find Salma so interesting... would it work the other way around as well?
"Hey everyone," Jill spoke up, looking at Salma and Antonio.
The two cats looked up from their bowls, and Jack looked away from a wood carving he's just about to start.
"What is it, Jill?" Jack asked facing his wife.
Jill smiled and pointed at Antonio and Salma, "Well, we know Puss wasn't reacting to Salma's flirting ways, right?"
"Please don't rub the pain any deeper," Salma sneered a bit mad, "We know that, so?"
"Well, what if you Antonio take a shot at Kitty Softpaws? Puss would then leave Kitty and then they'd be just as much apart from one another as the other way around." Jill suggested.
But Antonio instantly looked worried, "But Puss would surely never leave Kitty's side and maybe even kill me; if I dared try and flirt with her. I'd like to keep my 9 live, please."
"And you will Antonio," Jill said.
From her saddle bag she got a heart-shaped bottle, inside of it is a red liquid, and the description on it stood:
"Love silencing?" Salma asked confused reading the sign.
Jill nodded her head, "Bought this off the Fairy Godmother. Anyhow you two, add this potion into Kitty Softpaws cup, then have her drink from it. Within 2 minutes she will suddenly start coughing. Antonio, have a glass of water with you and hand that over to her to drink. She will then calm down and the poison will start working immediately. She will be suspicious of Puss and her brain will tell her that he'd tried to kill her."
"Then Salma, you get Puss once more and flirt with him to get his thoughts off Kitty, and you Antonio comfort Kitty and be a shoulder she can lean on, then start building up with her a relationship in which she can only trust you and not Puss." Jill continued.
"And what should we then do with the bottle?" Antonio asked.
Jack had the answer to that, "Try and sneak the bottle into Puss's handbag and then put the blame on him. That will be the final straw for Kitty and they will be broken up from one another for good. Claim that you know this bottle is pure poison, but lucky since Kitty didn't finish all her milk she isn't going to die by the hand of Puss."
"Ok, we'll try this out. Thank you, you two." Salma said and quickly shut Antonio up with a glare.
She could see her husband had a question to the both of them, but she didn't want him to ask it just yet. Antonio just shut up as the cats left with the poison Jack and Jill's campsite...
Whiles the bandits finished their own dinners, then headed into two tents to bed, Salma and Antonio walked through the night, back up to San Ricardo and trying to find a hotel to stay in. Or maybe they could track down Puss and Kitty's homes and beg for shelter from them.
During the walk, Antonio had suddenly stopped and leaned against one of the walls, he was staring at the floor and almost seem to be barfing up a hairball. Just thinking that Kitty had to suffer blindness of fake love from him made Antonio almost wanted to stuff himself into a sack and throw himself into a river to die.
"Salma, dear-" Antonio begins but then was cut off by her.
Salma was filled with confidence as her eyes were gleaming viciously, "Oh Jack and Jill's plan will definitely work out Antonio, Puss in Boots and Kitty Softpaws will be apart from each other forever."
Antonio sighed and rubbed his head, "I know dear, but-"
"No buts Antonio, we just have to complete the plan and then they'll free everyone they've captured." Salma was still beaming.
Antonio couldn't take it any more, he grabbed his wife by her arm, spun her around and made her face him. Salma blinked, but then gasped as she saw Antonio's eyes were leaking with tears.
Antonio took her paw and said honestly, "My dear have you already forgotten why we are doing all this flirting around?"
"No, I've never stopped thinking about it," Salma said strictly. "Now hurry, before Puss and Kitty notice we are missing."
Antonio nodded his head, seeing she was taking this now seriously, "The fact that Jack and Jill have our daughter captured somewhere, the fact that hundreds of other stray cats are locked up somewhere and we can't get to them at the moment?"
Salma nodded her head, "I know Antonio, but we just have to have faith that once the plan is done that Jack and Jill will release everyone, as well as our daughter."
"But what if they won't release her Salma?" Antonio asked almost shaking with fear, "What if they have beaten her close to death? what if she's starving right now in that cage because they can't be bothered to feed her? what if-"
Salma couldn't take her husband's self-pity any more. She stopped, grabbed his hands and placed them behind her back, quickly cutting her rambling husband up with one of her deep and passionate kisses upon his lips. Antonio blinked, he moaned in her hot mouth and wished he could start mating with his mate again, but now wasn't the right time or place to mate with his beloved.
Salma kissed him one last time before looking at him, "Antonio, have faith that Jack and Jill are taking care of her and all those other cats and kittens we've seen being locked up as well. Whiles, we are walking around San Ricardo and trying to keep Puss and Kitty away from each other, I'm sure Jack and Jill are feeding, petting and taking care of all the stray cats. We will soon need Puss and Kitty's help to get back to the prison and free the other cats, but not at this moment. They have to be broken up before Jack and Jill notice their plan isn't working. Plus I'm already one step ahead then Jack and Jill assume."
Antonio raised a confused eyebrow at her, what does she mean? Puss in Boots didn't bite onto her flirting attempts, so what does she mean with: I'm one step ahead? Salma giggled at her husband's confused face as she pulled from her belt a neatly folded piece of paper.
Antonio looked as she unfolded it completely, and he stares at it impressed. It was a map of San Ricardo and the surrounding desert and outlands. As well a mountain was marked on the map, and at one mountains cave entrances, a red cross was marking it. But between San Ricardo and that mountain was a dessert labelled: Outlands territory.
"You think this mountain has a cave, and in that cave is the cat prison we were in for 2 hours? Before Connie was taken from us?" Antonio asked his wife.
Salma nodded her head, "I'm positive that this marking shows the entrance to the cat prison Jack and Jill have set up during the capturing of all the other cats and kittens. And that's where we were brought with Connie. But we need Puss's wisdom and Kitty's fighting skills to get her back."
There was a short silence between the worrying parents, Antonio sighed and embraced his mate. Salma started crying in her mates embrace as she let her heartbreak over her captured child out of her system.
"My dear, once we have Puss and Kitty's trust with us, they are sure able to help us free our daughter and everyone." Antonio sighed.
Salma nodded her head as they couldn't find Puss or Kitty's home. Instead, the two found a box and curled up in there around each other, falling asleep and dreaming about their daughter, and the happier times they had with her before this disaster struck their family...
The next morning they both have calmed down, after washing each other they walked back around San Ricardo, trying to locate Puss and Kitty once more. But since they weren't found the two headed to the Cat Cantina instead.
Using a bit of wire, Salma broke into the Cat Cantine and then stood guard, Antonio sneaked into the cantine and walked up to the bar, where he knew a lot of cats would sit and drink. In the cabinet he saw various glasses, all of them looked like any other glass, until he noticed a cabinet was light up, there were two cups labelled PIB, so Puss in Boots and the second one KS; Kitty Softpaws. These glasses were designed, created and placed there in honour of Puss in Boots and Kitty Softpaws, for the Golden Goose incident a few months ago.
Antonio remembered that these glasses were the one's Puss and Kitty drank out of. He removed the poison bottle from his bag and filled it into Kitty's glass. It sits now on the bottom of the glass and looks like normal water.
After he was done Antonio left the cantine again and they both locked the door up. Before leaving the area once more. They found a broken down car and jumped through the glass into old furnished bedding. Both cats curled up around each other and slept the rest of the day away. Waiting until evening would arrive, and then they could see their plan in action.
During the rest of the day, Puss in Boots and Kitty Softpaws were on patrol round San Ricardo, and they stopped several bandits. It was nothing unusual for them, and if they weren't on patrol, they both decided to visit Imelda and chat with her about various things.
At the moment, they were sitting with her in her lounge, all the orphanage children were currently at school and the two cats decided to chat with her about life and such.
"So, my dears. Puss and Kitty." Imelda asked smiling at them.
Puss blinked, "What's wrong, mama?"
Imelda was almost beaming and giggled at them a bit, "When are you two deciding to settle down together?"
Puss and Kitty stared at Imelda shocked, she just smiled and rolled her eyes at this lovely couple shocked expression.
"Oh please you two, I've seen the way you two look at each other, always filled with such passion, love, desire and many other emotions. Puss I've never seen you so happy and in love before in any of your 9 lives. And you Kitty, I see the way you look at my foster son," Imelda smiled.
Kitty blushed and looked back over at Puss, "Well Miss Imelda... we've talked with each other... and its just too soon. We'd like to have a bit more excitement before we decide to settle down."
"And so far it's working quite well." Puss smiled at his girlfriend and mother.
Imelda nodded her head and was still giggling like a school girl. She was so happy that Puss has found his true love. And Puss and Kitty were happy with their current relationship standard: 'friends-with-benefits'.
As the next evening came down, Puss and Kitty left Imeldas and decided to head back to the Cat Cantine for a good dinner together.
At the cat Cantine Salma was there again with her husband, the two have bought themselves some Lamm stu before sitting once more at opposite sides of the cantine. This time Salma was seated at a set of tables for dinner, and Antonio was seated at the bar.
The two were waiting for Puss and Kitty to turn up again, and to see the plan in action. Both cats were smiling a bit, and Antonio ordered for himself just a simple glass of water to drink. They didn't have to wait long, as about three minutes later Puss in Boots and Kitty Softpaws returned from the street. The other cats spotted the two local heroes and their return was greeted with great applause.
The local bartender smiled up at the duo, "And another successful day, Puss in Boots and Kitty Softpaws."
Puss chuckled a bit, "Yup, you can say that again. But it's been a quiet day today."
"Can you get us something to drink dear?" Kitt smiled at her beloved, handing him 2 gold coins.
"I will my dear. You just rest." Puss smiled at his sweetheart.
The bartender nodded his head and got the cold milk from the fridge and filled Puss and Kitty's special glasses up with it. From across the room, Antonio and Salma were eating their own dinners, and smirked at each other as they saw Kitty's glass still had the poison in it they placed in a while ago. And now the poison was mixing a bit with the milk inside the glass.
"Two glasses of milk on the house Puss and Kitty. As a thank you for saving the town today once again." The cat bartender smiled at them.
The rest of the cat cantine smiled back at the two lovers and everyone nodded their heads, Puss and Kitty blinked, but both smiled. Puss tipped his hat to him and smiled at him.
"Much obliged." Puss smiled back and carried the glasses of milk to his partner.
He reached his and Kitty's chosen table and placed the milk in front of his friend. The candles were lit around the Cat Cantine, and Puss and Kitty saw a lot of cats just having a good time before planning what to do later tonight.
Kitty smiled and consumed her milk with no problem, Puss smiled, but just as he lifted his cup up to take a sip, he noticed the glass smells a bit like the outside desert, as if someone walked to the cupboard with sand on their paws and didn't bother washing the paws before touching his or Kitty's glasses.
Kitty didn't notice anything wrong and just consumed her own drink, but Puss was more than suspicious. Normally his glass would only smell of milk or just clean, not of sand. Puss was more than suspicious, especially as the cat canteen suddenly seem to drop into complete death-defying silence. It felt as if someone placed an ice block over Puss's shoulders and it made his fur stand out in fear.
Kitty didn't find anything strange and just drank her milk with no problem, but seeing her friend looking around with concern over his face, she could sense something was weighing on his mind. And Puss wasn't drinking his milk like he usually would.
Kitty touched Puss's paw and looked into her boyfriend's eyes. "What's wrong, Puss?"
Puss twitched is nose a bit, moved his ears around and still found it strange, normally the cat cantine was full of music, cats chatting with one another over various things, but tonight it was almost dead quiet.
"I don't know myself, Kitty. Something is up. It's too quiet to be the same cat cantine we visit almost every evening." Puss said and turned round in his chair.
Kitty blinked and looked with Puss round the cantine. True a lot of cats have stopped talking, some were consuming their foods, others quietly hummed to the cat bands music, but it wasn't as lively as they were used to. Kitty and Puss also noticed two cats watching them, a blue short haired female and a second cat a white short haired male.
Kitty blinked, both these 'watching cats' were smirking at her and Puss, before turning back away from them and pretending to read the newspaper or eating some chicken sandwich.
"Maybe everyone has just had too much to eat or drink Puss. Nothing out of the unusual." Kitty smiled and shrugged her shoulders.
Puss blinked, true Kitty could be right. But this cantine was visited by them both almost on a nightly basis. And it was always active with chatter, dances, music or playing various cat games. Or just simply talking, not this odd silence.
Antonio and Salma looked at one another and nodded their heads, part 2 as going to come in a bit. As Puss and Kitty were looking back at one another and talking about Puss's 'adoptive children' the Diablos and that Puss hasn't heard from them for about 2 weeks now, Antonio sneaked up to the two, using the dark cantine he managed to sneak up to the two, slip into Puss's purse the poison bottle and sneak back to his wife, who nodded her head.
They then fished a cat newspaper from one stand and began reading it together. Antonio and Salma discussed the various news in the newspaper, before having a drink of cold water, and going to the kitty litter.
As they got back, Salma and Antonio made sure to sit next to Kitty Softpaws. Antonio smirked as he noticed Puss and Kitty chatting more about other things beyond San Ricardo.
Just as Kitty wanted to tell Puss something, she started feeling strange. In her inside's the poison has travelled around her bloodstream and headed right towards her mind.
"Hack, hack, hack." Kitty went confused.
Puss blinked, quickly both cats jumped from the chairs, Kitty continued coughing as if she was trying to barf up a hairball, or sickness. Puss helped her to bend over as he rubbed her back to help her barf the hairball up, or whatever.
Puss looked at his girlfriend a bit concerned, "Kitty what's wrong? Oh no we need quickly-"
But Antonio was one step ahead, grabbing his glass of water, he handed it to Kitty, who consumed the entire glass in less than 2 drinks. After Kitty cleared her throat again her eyes travelled back to Puss suspiciously.
Despite the fact he looked just as shocked and confused at her sudden 'sickness' attack on her, Kitty felt as if he was somehow involved with her sudden illness feeling. And he was definitely keeping something from her.
"What did you put in my glass of milk, Puss?" Kitty asked confused.
Kitty grabbed her blade and pointed the sharper end at him, Puss blinked and shook his head holding his hands in the air, he knows that he bought the 2 glasses of milk, they were filled in their usual glasses and then he handed it right back to her. Kitty's glare towards Puss was emotionless and her eyes were almost full of sadness. Everyone else looked towards Puss, who looked just as confused about the entire situation as the others were.
Puss sighed, "Kitty I haven't placed anything into your milk, I walked up to the bar, bought the milk, they were filled in the glasses and then I walked back to you my love."
Still standing close to them, Antonio shot to Puss such a hated glare and play-acted his hatred towards him to give Kitty a good impression.
"You are a dam liar, Puss in Boots." Antonio snapped.
Using a swift move, Antonio was able to snatch Puss's purse. Puss growled that he was being 'robbed' by that blue haired cat, but he allowed him to prove his innocence. Scattering Puss's purse out on the counter the cats at the cantine saw tumbling out: one black ring box, a map of Spain with various places marked, some gold coins to pay for his meals and a heart shaped bottle with the Fairy Godmothers symbol stamped on it and that it came from Far Far away.
Antonio snatched Kitty's glass and spilt the rest of the milk out, and then tipped the other bottles context next to it. Both colours of the poison (for it doesn't mix well with milk) were identical.
Kitty couldn't take it any more and collapse on the ground, curling up around herself she started to cry as hard as possible, more tears were falling as she screamed her fear out of her. In her believe: the cat she chose to be her boyfriend, the cat she loved, slept within the same home, who she believed would love her beyond time itself, had just tried to kill her.
Puss felt his own temper spiking, quickly he packed his things back up and tied his bag back to his belt. For 'research' reason he also bagged in the poisoned bottle. After being sure and checking again that he had everything Puss looked at the other cats furious.
Someone must be playing a dam bad prank on Puss right now, he didn't know who, but he has his suspicions over who it could be. Not deciding to 'reveal' the evil culprit, Puss decided to be utterly disgusted by the crime.
"Is this some sick joke?" Puss sneered and looked around the Cat cantine furiously.
Salma pounced onto him and started punching Puss's lights out fast, "You monster of a man, you've just tried to kill an innocent female cat, you disgusting creature!"
"Salma get of him this instant!" Antonio and Kitty suddenly spoke out at the same time.
Salma hissed and removed herself from Puss, Puss gave the others a glare back before shaking his head.
"Puss..." Kitty spoke softly still shaking her head, "Did you really... poison my milk?"
Puss sighed, despite the bottle being found in his possessions, Puss can't remember buying one anywhere or having one in his possessions, to begin with.
"No, I did not Kitty. I can't remember being involved with bottles of poisons since my adventure with Shrek and the others. Since then I haven't been to Far far away to begin with." Puss explained calmly.
Antonio smirked, he knew how he could turn on Puss and stab him in the back easily now, "Ah, so you do know where to go to buy poison and then pass it on as a normal drink and have your victim killed."
"Charming calculations Mr Antonio," Puss sneered at him, "But you are mistaken, sure I know where to get poison from, but I am not one to want my 'victims' to suffer long if I make an enemy of anyone. If I do fight I will do it honourable with my swords or my own strength, not poison. But since the Golden Goose incident, I haven't been part of anyone's wrongdoing. That being Humpty Dumpty's sacrifice on the bridge, remember Kitty?"
Kitty didn't know what she should believe, "Just go Puss... the evidence is proof enough of your wrongdoing."
The other cats all nodded their heads, apart from Salma, she looked at Puss a bit hurt, but the hurt was for him, she and Antonio were the only ones who knew that he was really innocent.
Puss sighed, he paid for the milk and grabbed his things, quickly leaving the Cat Cantine all together.
Before running out of the door he looked one last time to Kitty Softpaws, "Goodbye then mi amour."
And Puss vanished out of the cantine and into the dark, heartbroken and destroyed that Kitty broke their relationship off for good.
Kitty sunk back in her chair and calmly drinks the saving water Antonio handed her before more tears fell from her eyes and she wept her heart out. Antonio sat next to Kitty, where Puss once sat and allowed her to cry her heart out over his shoulder.
Quanktumspirit: "Poor Puss. Will Puss and Kitty get back together again? Will Puss find out the truth behind the bottle and Kitty's sudden poison intake? Or will he and Kitty go their separate ways? Please review, I only own Antonio, Salma and Connie. And any other person you don't recognise in this tale."