LOLITA
God, I just don't even know how to tell you guys how awesome you are. I was at work ALL DAY, and I kept checking ffnet on my phone and reading your reviews and it totally made my day like two million times better. And people are adding me to their 'favorite authors' list? WTF LET ME HUG YOU NOW
I'm upping the rating with this one. I'm not going to go into actual GRAPHIC rape, but I'm probably gonna toe the line here.
Also, we've had some guesses on the kidnapper's identity. So far people have guessed Sebastian, Mr. Shue, and Jeremiah. You'll find out if you were right in this chapter. :D
The song for this chapter should need no introduction, but I'll tell you anyway. It's Judas by Lady Gaga.
When he comes to me I am ready
I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs
Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain
Even after three times he betrays me
Blaine has been up for at least an hour, lying on his bed in his room, dreading the day. Today Edward is expecting company, a friend of his, and wants Blaine to be 'perfectly well-behaved'.
In all honesty, Blaine is so scared and stressed he feels sick to his stomach. He doesn't want this to happen to him, and he feels like he's being selfish by thinking that. The other option is Kurt going or one of them getting killed or some other horrible thing. Of course he will go so Kurt doesn't have to. It's only this one time. He just has to get through this one horrible, terrible thing and hope his plan works. But he's still scared, he still wishes he could think of a way where neither of them have to go through this.
If this escape plan is going to work, he's got to have access to Edward while he's completely vulnerable. And what is a more vulnerable state than sleeping? Sure, before Edward goes to sleep he'll be having sex. With Blaine. And Blaine doesn't want it. So that makes it rape. And Blaine is terrified. But after he's asleep Blaine can kill him and get Kurt and they can leave.
That worries him, too. He's planning on killing someone. It bothers him that he doesn't want to kill Edward, even if he has kidnapped them and done terrible things to them. The fact remains, tonight Blaine will have unwanted sex and possibly commit murder.
Something could easily go wrong. He still doesn't know how he's going to have the knife with him and keep Edward from finding it. If Blaine hides it in his dress like he's been doing, Edward will surely find it as soon as Blaine takes it off. He needs to find a way to keep it with him, or at least keep it concealed until Edward is asleep, without Edward finding out.
He sits up sluggishly, running a hand over his hair. He has to wait for Edward to come get him so he can start doing chores. Meaningless things like watering house plants and sweeping and dusting.
Ever since he started acting more like the doll Edward wants him to be, he's been given a lot of leeway. He doesn't have to listen to chains dragging on the floor as he walks. He isn't even chained to the bed. He's given real food, while Kurt has probably been living off whatever meager scraps Edward brings him. He is more or less allowed to walk around unchecked, because Edward thinks he's given up the fight already. The act is killing him inside, pretending that he has no problem with answering to by a girl's name, being referred to as a doll, the property of a man who snatched Blaine and his boyfriend out of their lives for his own sick pleasure.
He has no idea what time it is, though he suspects it's rather early. Edward is in the habit of getting up at sunrise and coming to fetch Blaine sometime after nine o'clock in the morning. There are no windows in this room so Blaine's sense of time is skewered a bit. He could've woken up in the middle of the night and wouldn't know it. And really, that isn't too farfetched, because the silence and the darkness leaves him with only his thoughts, and all he can think about is what's coming later in the day.
There is a muffled sound, and at first Blaine is afraid it's Edward coming to get him. He realizes after a heart-stopping moment that it's rain. The sound barely comes through, but once he's calmed down he decides he'd better figure out something with his knife before Edward shows up, because he doesn't know when he'll have the opportunity to do so later.
He reaches under the mattress of his bed and finds the knife. He tugs it out of its hiding spot and holds it in his hand. He can't see it in the darkness, but he can feel it. He carefully runs his finger along it, making sure the cotton bandages from the other day are still wrapped around the blade. Once he's sure, he puts it down the front of the dress and maneuvers it carefully toward the waist so it won't be easily spotted.
He rests his hand over it. The can feel it press against him, about two inches down from his breast bone. It's presence makes him feel just a tiny bit safer.
The sound of the rain is getting steadily louder, and Blaine can pick out another sound in it. The sound of echoing footsteps coming down the hallway outside the room. He closes his eyes and sits up straight. He digs down deep for the motivation to play the part he needs to play.
Once the door opens he'll have to face the day. It'll set everything in motion and he won't be able to stop it.
I'll bring him down
Bring him down, down
A king with no crown
King with no crown
The sitting room would be impressive to Kurt if he wasn't in this situation. It's cozy and warm. And misleading.
He's sitting in a squashy armchair, looking despondently out a window, watching the rain fall. He's wearing a different dress. It's blue with a white apron and covered in stupid lace and ribbons and he hates it. He's even got the white stockings and the black Mary Janes on his feet. Edward brought the dress this morning and Kurt put it on without argument. But the dress certainly isn't the worst of it. The wig is the worst. It's long and blonde and has a simple black headband in it. He slowly runs his hand over the hair, feeling its softness. He was expecting something cheap, but he ought to have known better. This wig is probably one of those really expensive ones, made from real hair. It makes him feel gross, wearing someone else's hair. He wants nothing more than to just tear it off. He wants nothing more than to light this disgusting dress on fire. But he can't.
Blaine needs him to play Edward's game. They have to get through tonight. And Blaine has pretty much offered himself up for something terrible, and there isn't a damn thing Kurt can do to stop it. The worst thing he could possibly do at this point is anything to jeopardize Blaine's plan, so he doesn't fight it.
A door opens and Kurt looks over. He would be lying if he were to say he isn't shocked to see Blaine trailing along behind Edward, carrying a silver tray with a glass bottle of scotch and two highball glasses. He wasn't expecting to see him again so soon. But in the presence of Edward, Blaine may as well not even be here. He keeps his eyes downcast and just walks along, carrying the tray with far-too-steady hands. Kurt notices Blaine also wearing stockings and shoes with his outfit, modest black flats. He wonders where Edward found girl shoes that would fit them.
"Good morning, Dinah. You look adorable in your new dress! And the wig suits you. I'm so glad it came today, what with us having company!" Edward says. He sits in one of the other two chairs, and Blaine stops next to him, still holding the silver tray. Edward looks up at him. "Just set that down over on the table, Delilah."
Blaine walks over to a small table between Edward's chair and the only other empty chair in the room. Kurt, being across the room from Edward, watches Blaine walk over and set down the tray. Blaine flicks his eyes over to him and they hold each other's eyes for a split second.
In that second Kurt is filled with hope and warmth and determination. Blaine smiles ever so slightly at him, then drops it quickly as he turns and walks back to Edward's side.
Once Blaine is back by the chair, Edward says, "We're going to have a little chat about what I expect from you two today. I'm sure you both know by now that I'm having company today. He's a very important friend of mine. He is called Mr. Schwindt and I expect you both to treat him with the utmost respect."
Kurt looks away from Blaine to stare down Edward. The look in his eyes is dark as ever. "Dinah," Edward says, "you have come a long way in such a short time. But you and I have had our disagreements. I can assure you, if you set one toe out of line today you will not live to see nightfall."
Blaine shifts slightly on his feet, and Kurt glances at him. His eyes are still at the floor, but they're wide and angry and scared.
"Now. I would hate for this discussion to be nothing but me reprimanding you! So, if you can both behave yourselves, and if you can make a good enough impression on Mr. Schwindt, I promise you'll be rewarded. I've already discussed this with you, Delilah," Edward reaches over and wraps his fingers around Blaine's wrist. "I know you're looking forward to that. But I wouldn't want to leave out poor Dinah."
Blaine jerks and Edward looks up at him as he lets go of his wrist. Kurt's heart hammers as he takes in Blaine's expression. He's never seen Blaine look so enraged.
"Now, Delilah, don't be jealous!" Edward says with a little laugh, clearly misreading Blaine's anger. "I promise you'll go first. Then you can have Dinah, and if I feel up to it I suppose I'll have him too. How does that sound?"
Kurt bites his lip and watches helplessly as Blaine stands there, tormented. After a beat of silence, Blaine says, so quietly Kurt can barely hear him, "That sounds nice, sir."
"Very good, then. I'm glad we're all in agreement." He sighs happily and leans back in his chair.
The sound of the rain outside washes over Kurt and he tries to allow it to calm his nerves. He keeps his eyes on Blaine, who merely stands there, trying to find the strength to stay in character.
I'm just a holy fool, oh baby it's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a holy fool, oh baby it's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
It's just after noon when the doorbell rings. Edward looks up from his book and smiles at Delilah, who has been standing quietly by his desk like a good little doll. "Oh, that must be him! Quick, Delilah, we have to go get the door. Where did we leave Dinah, again?"
They rush out of Edward's study, Delilah staying just two paces behind. "The sitting room, sir," Delilah responds in his lovely whisper.
"Of course, of course. Why don't you go on ahead to the sitting room, then. I will be along with our guest shortly, so make sure you and Dinah are presentable when we come. I would hate for him to walk in on you two having a moment like I did yesterday! I have an image to maintain, after all."
"Of course, sir. Whatever you want."
Edward stops and turns, smiling sweetly. Delilah also stops, waiting, knowing his owner well enough to know when he ought to stop and listen. Edward reaches forward and runs his fingers carefully through Delilah's curly hair, reveling in the softness of it. "You're such a good girl," he says.
Delilah just ducks his head down farther. Edward figures he is being coy, perhaps taken off guard by the compliment. "No time to waste, dearest. Run along, now, I'll be along in a moment."
Once Delilah is on his way to the sitting room, Edward makes his way to the foyer and opens the front door. On the other side is a rather well-dressed gentleman, probably in his late forties, with a young man standing just behind him. "Good afternoon! You must be Mr. Schwindt."
"Yes indeed. Edward, I take it?" Mr Schwindt says, his tone strict and indicative of high breeding.
"Yes. Pleasure to meet you," Edward says eagerly as he steps aside, allowing Mr. Schwindt inside.
Mr. Schwindt and the young man with him walk in, and Mr. Schwindt looks over the foyer with a haughty glare. "Quite an impressive property."
"Thank you, thank you. May I ask, who have you brought with you?" Edward asks as he takes Mr Schwindt's suit jacket and umbrella.
"Oh, forgive me. I've forgotten my manners. This is Gabriel. I've had him for nearly five years now. Brought him home when he was only twenty. You'd be about his age now, correct, Edward?"
"Perhaps," Edward says with a sly grin. "He's lovely."
"He is, isn't he?" Mr Schwindt nudges Gabriel and the young man looks up slightly. Edward takes note of the look in his eyes.
Lifeless. Dead. The light is gone. Not at all like Delilah or Dinah. They still have that spark in their eyes. He hopes they never lose it, because he can't love someone like Gabriel, someone who has nothing behind their eyes.
"Mr. Edward has given you a compliment, Gabriel. What do you say?"
Gabriel bows his head again and says "Thank you very much for your kind words, sir. I don't deserve your kindness."
"Very good, lad. Now then," Mr. Schwindt turns to Edward, "Where are these new additions of yours? I'd love to hear how they're coming along."
They start walking down the hallway, Edward trying not to stumble in his excitement. "They're actually coming along better than when we last spoke. I've had very few problems with Delilah, and I had a little talk with Dinah last night and he seems to be coming around."
"Always good to hear," Mr. Schwindt says. "Of course there is always room for improvement. Isn't that right, Gabriel?"
Gabriel says nothing, but Edward isn't paying any attention to him. "Yes, of course," he says. "I look forward to hearing your opinion on them."
Mr. Schwindt only nods. Then he says, "You mentioned that you've been after one of them for nearly a year now."
"Yes, that'd be Delilah. I was going after someone else entirely, working at the local mall, in the Gap. I met Delilah and we had coffee a few times. He was enamored with me even then. Came to where I worked and sang a love song for me! Can you believe it?"
"Oh, he sings?"
"He does. He has a lovely voice, too. But I haven't heard him for a long time. In fact, after he sang for me that last time I shot him down. Distanced myself from him."
They come upon the sitting room, and Edward has to reign in his excitement before opening the door. "Here we are, then." And he opens the door and he and his guests walk in.
I couldn't love a man so purely
Even prophets forgave his crooked way
I've learned love is like a brick, you can
Build a house or sink a dead body
Blaine opens the door to the sitting room and shuts it quietly behind him. Kurt is sitting in the same chair, still staring out the window at the dreary weather. "Kurt," he says, and Kurt looks over, startled.
"What's happening?" he says, sounding nervous. Blaine rushes over to him and kneels on the floor in front of him, takes his hand in both of his own.
"Edward's visitor is here. He's bringing him here in a few minutes," Blaine says. Kurt takes a shaky breath and his eyes flutter closed.
"Blaine... I'm so scared... What he said earlier..."
"Don't be, please don't be. I've adjusted our plan a little." Kurt looks back at Blaine as he stands. Blaine smiles a little as he rests his hand over his stomach. "I found a needle and thread today while I was cleaning the guest room. Funny thing, this dress has a lining in it. I sewed the knife into it."
"Oh," Kurt says, surprised. "So he won't find it?"
"Right." Blaine leans down so he can kiss Kurt softly on the forehead. "As soon as I'm alone with Edward I'll... do it."
Kurt makes a soft sound, like a plaintive whine. "I wish you didn't have to do this. Kill somebody... Even if he is a psychopath."
"I don't want to do it, either, but what other choice do we have? If we're really lucky, I might not have to... you know."
"Be raped?"
Blaine smiles sadly at Kurt. He then reaches out and adjusts the blonde wig. His nerves are completely frayed, knowing Edward could walk in any second. But this may be the last time he has a moment alone with Kurt before Edward tries to sleep with him. "...I love you so much, Kurt. I'd do anything for you."
"I know..." Kurt says. He grabs Blaine, hugging him, resting his forehead against Blaine's stomach. Blaine lets his hands wander to Kurt's back, lying against his shoulder blades where he can feel the new scars formed from Edward's riding crop. "I hate to think that you're about to kill another person, though."
"I was thinking the same thing earlier today," Blaine says. "But if I have to kill another person to get us out of this, then I will."
"I just wish there was more I could do," Kurt shifts a little. His voice wavers slightly as though he's about to cry. Blaine sincerely hopes he doesn't cry, because then he would start crying. "Everything is falling on you."
Blaine doesn't respond; he hears voices coming from the hallway. "They're coming."
"Oh God," Kurt whines. He hugs Blaine tighter. "Oh God, Blaine..."
"Shh, don't get upset," Blaine says in an urgent whisper. He can hear an unfamiliar voice, and he assumes it's Edward's guest. Blaine backs slowly away from Kurt, trying to apologize with his eyes. Kurt starts making an attempt to calm down.
"... been after one of them for nearly a year now."
Edward's voice comes after, and he sounds excited. "Yes, that'd be Delilah. I was going after someone else entirely, working at the local mall, in the Gap. I met Delilah and we had coffee a few times. He was enamored with me even then. Came to where I worked and sang a love song for me! Can you believe it?"
Blaine feels like he's been punched in the gut. He can't believe it... This means... This madman who kidnapped them, who seems vaguely familiar... He couldn't quite recognize him with his buzz cut. But now, after hearing that, the realization slams into him like a freight train. He looks back at Kurt, whose eyes must be as wide as his own.
"Jeremiah...!" Kurt says weakly.
Blaine feels weak in the knees, like he might pass out. He puts a hand over his mouth. He thought he was in love with Jeremiah. He sang a love song to a maniacal kidnapper. He brought all his friends from Dalton, including Kurt, to serenade a man who had kidnapped people and killed people.
They're just outside the door. Blaine struggles to find his composure. Kurt takes a deep breath and Blaine tries the same.
The handle turns, and Edward walks in. "Hello darlings! I'd like you to meet Mr. Schwindt and his pet, Gabriel."
Blaine is still trying to remember how to breathe. But he cannot possibly afford to screw up now. He turns slowly to Edward and Mr. Schwindt. His eyes find the young man, Gabriel, standing just behind the imposing Mr. Schwindt. He gives a little bow, but keeps his eyes on Gabriel. He has never seen a person look so lifeless while still able to stand under their own strength. He can feel Edward's eyes on him and realizes he must be expected to say hello. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir," he says quietly.
"You would be Delilah, yes?" Mr. Schwindt asks. His voice scares Blaine, the way it seems to echo around him even though there is no echo in the room.
"Yes, sir."
"And this," Mr. Schwindt looks to Kurt, "must be Dinah."
Kurt stays seated. Blaine looks over at him, trying to be covert about it. Though Kurt isn't responding to Mr. Schwindt, he is merely staring down at his hands, folded neatly in his lap. It must be taking all of his will power not to glare daggers at him.
"Dinah," Edward says, his voice seemingly light, but there is the familiar threat underneath it. "Please don't be rude to our guest. Say hello, darling."
Kurt looks up at Blaine, then looks over at Mr. Schwindt. He stands, and Blaine wouldn't believe it if he hadn't seen it, and gives a little curtsey. "Pleasure to meet you, sir."
Blaine feels sick. Edward comes up and stands next to him, smiling again. Blaine wants to run away from him, even more than before. Because now he knows that he came so close to being in this situation before, practically fell into it. "Delilah, be a dear and get Mr. Schwindt something to drink, would you?" Edward says. He turns to Mr. Schwindt, "Would you like to sit? Have a scotch with me?"
"I would be delighted," Mr. Schwindt says. He takes the chair nearest Kurt as Blaine pours out a glass of scotch. He hands it to the man, keeping his eyes down.
Edward sits in his chair and crosses his legs. He smiles at Blaine once he brings him a glass of scotch, and Blaine quickly moves to stand behind and to the side of the chair. "So," Edward says after taking a small sip of his scotch, "What do you think?"
"This one must be giving you problems," Mr. Schwindt nods to Kurt, who blushes a bit. "The other seems obedient enough, but he can certainly use a lesson or two in manners. May I ask why you've got one in a wig and not the other?"
"Oh, that," Edward giggles and looks over at Blaine. "I simply love Delilah's hair. I couldn't hide it under a wig! Dinah, though, he looks rather fetching with blonde hair, don't you think?"
They continue chatting like this, and Blaine stands there in his proper spot, struggling with the urge to scream or cry or just take off running. He's still reeling. He can't believe this. Jeremiah... This whole time it was Jeremiah.
He glances surreptitiously at Gabriel again. He's standing by the door, his posture ramrod-straight, save for his bowed head. His sandy-blonde hair is long enough that it hides his eyes, hanging over his face. Blaine is sickened to find that he's slightly jealous of him, because he's standing there in slacks and a pale blue dress shirt. He and Kurt have to endure the humiliation of wearing these dresses.
He ought to be following the conversation. He can't afford to be distracted. He brings his attention back to the voices floating around him.
Edward finishes telling Mr. Schwindt a romanticized version of how he 'brought them home', referring to his kidnapping Blaine and Kurt. Just as he and Mr. Schwindt share a good chuckle over it, the grandfather clock near the fireplace starts chiming.
"Goodness," Edward says, "It's nearly time for dinner!" He turns to Blaine. "Delilah, why don't you go ahead and set the table. We'll be in once I take Dinah back to his room."
"Yes, sir," Blaine says. He glances fleetingly at Kurt as he makes his way out of the room.
He tries to ignore Gabriel as he walks by him. The dead look in his eyes is incredibly unsettling. He leaves as quietly as possible, not paying attention to the conversation resuming as he shuts the door.
Once he's out in the hallway, he runs for the kitchen as best he can in these shoes. It's not far, thank God, but he nearly trips twice.
He runs in and bypasses the cabinets where Edward keeps his best dinner plates, the ones he knows he ought to be setting out for dinner. Instead he stumbles into the small bathroom connected to the kitchen by a short and narrow hallway. He collapses on the floor in front of the toilet and promptly throws up.
Once he's finished, he takes a second to just breathe and to try and comprehend this new information. "God," he gasps, and he spits into the toilet a few times in an attempt to get the disgusting taste out of his mouth.
He has his moment and then he has to get to work. They're only halfway through the act. He can't stop to try and make sense of this, that he flirted with a psychopath.
He walks shakily back into the kitchen and grabs the dish ware. He feels strangely dead inside, and he doesn't know how to deal with this.
The mundane task of setting the table takes no time at all. After he's done, he heads back into the kitchen and starts re-heating the precooked meal.
As he stirs a sauce he can't remember the name of, he sets his free hand against his stomach, where he sewed the knife into the dress.
It doesn't matter who Edward was. He has to believe that. Because tonight it'll be over, and it won't matter.
Oh oh oh oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas
Oh oh oh oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas
UUUGH IT'S LIKE SEVEN IN THE MORNING
There you go! It was Jeremiah. Congrats to those of you who guessed correctly! To those of you who did not, you should know that when I got your guesses I was like "Hmm... Could I feasibly change it to Sebastian/Mr. Shue? It would be so fitting if it was Sebastian, and so unexpected if it was Mr. Shue..." But I stuck to my outline.
I kind of did a rush job on this chapter to get it up before I went to bed. I hope it isn't too terrible... :( i wrote the whole chapter in like an hour and a half... *hangs head in shame*
The next chapter is going to have Blaine's plan going into action as well as Kurt's BAMF moment. And Gabriel will figure into it. I know some of you want more Kurt in the story, so you can look forward to next chapter. :D
Once again, don't be horribly disappointed if I don't update tomorrow. I work late again and I have been staying up late every night writing this, and I've been just exhausted! lol.
Thank you all so much for reading. You all give me warm fuzzies~