Sean didn't really know what to say or what to do. Once he'd followed Emma down to her room, she sat on the bed silently and had avoided eye contact. Sean stood by the stairs and leaned against the railing giving her the space to decide what she wanted from him. There were so many things he wanted to tell her but as usual he just couldn't find the words. Silent tears streamed down Emma's cheeks and the urge to pull her into his arms was almost overwhelming. But he stayed where he was, too afraid that if he pushed her she would break.

"Why?" Emma's whisper was so low Sean almost didn't hear her.

"Why what?" he asked gently.

Emma looked up at him, her eyes were angry.

"Why did you come back now? After all this time without hardly a word?" Emma wanted to know.

The old Sean would have deflected her words and made an attempt to kiss her so that she wouldn't ask him to talk about his feelings again. But Sean was different now. Changed. He didn't want to lose her again. He didn't think his heart could take another Emma Nelson break up. He knew that if he wanted her forever he had a lot to prove.

"You know why, Em."

He said it as if his feelings for her were the most simple thing in the world when they both knew how complicated this could get...how complicated it always got.

Emma shook her head.

"I don't."

Sean sighed and fought the urge to go to her. Instead he continued to keep his distance.

"What happened in that hallway, Em, changed us both forever. It was the same thing that ended up bringing us back together a year after it happened. I wasn't going to leave you to face this alone."

Emma tried to reign in her swirling emotions but it was useless.

"You've always left me alone to deal with things before."

Sean nodded.

"Yeah I have. But things are different now Emma. I'm different. I'm not leaving again. I'm home for good."

Emma shook her head refusing to believe him.

"Home? Wasaga is your home Sean."

She avoided his eyes and stared straight ahead. Sean couldn't take it anymore, he closed the gap between them and sat on the bed beside her. He still didn't touch her even though he ached to.

"Home is wherever you are, Em." Sean said honestly.

Emma's breath caught in her throat and she forced herself to look into Sean's eyes.

Sean had tried to keep his distance but with the way she was currently looking at him he couldn't help it, his hands cupped her face and he pulled her into a deep kiss.

It had been the first time they'd kissed since Emma had been in her senior year of high school. Almost three years now...or was it four? It had been so damn long.

Sean parted her lips with his tongue and licked his way into her mouth. He could tell by the small whimper she made that she was enjoying this just as much as he was. Her body still responded to him the way it always had and it didn't take long for Emma to ache for him the way she had been for years now.

Sean pulled back first but continued to hold her closely as he rested his forehead on hers.

"God I missed you." he murmured quietly, his eyes still closed.

He was still breathing in her vanilla scent, amazed that it hypnotized him just as much as it always had even after all this time.

"I missed you too." Emma said honestly.

She didn't want to admit to him just how much she'd been missing him lately though. She was embarrassed just how low she'd let her life sink. She was embarrassed that she'd spent all of her time lately pining away over Sean even though he'd clearly moved on with his life without her.

Sean's original plan was to give her space but he couldn't help himself...he leaned down and captured her lips with his. Emma gasped slightly in surprise, but it didn't take her long to kiss him back on reflex. It was like every time they'd been apart before...they knew they should keep their distance from each other...knew it never ended well...knew their hearts couldn't take one more gut wrenching break up….but just like every time they'd reconnected before, it was useless to fight it. It was like every time they were in the same room together there was a magnetic force field just pushing them together and they were powerless to stop it.

Emma knew she should pull back, that she should be damn angry with Sean but her brain was turned to mush and her body was only listening to what her heart wanted...and her heart had always wanted Sean. Emma wrapped her arms around Sean's neck and Sean pulled her even closer against him. They were kissing feverishly as if they needed it to survive and it didn't take long for their breathing to become labored. The loud bang of the front door opening and closing snapped them both out of it and they pulled away at the same time.

Sean shot across the room back to the edge of the basement steps where he started and Emma stood up as well just standing by her bed. They stared at each other while they tried to catch their breath.

"Sounds like your parents are home." Sean said, really just to fill the silence.

Emma nodded and gave him an awkward smile.

"I'm sure they can't wait to see you. Snake talks about you all the time." Emma said honestly.

Sean brightened.

"Really?"

Emma smiled and nodded her head.

"Yeah, whenever we get a postcard from you it makes his entire week."

Sean smiled back.

"Mine too." she admitted, looking back into his eyes.

"I guess I should go say hi then." he said.

Emma didn't really want him to go, but she didn't know how to ask him to stay either.

"Yeah, you should." she faked a smile.

Sean saw right through it, but he didn't want to push her. He turned to go up the stairs and then stopped half way up. He came home to really be there for her this time, not to run away scared like he had in the past.

"Forget something?" Emma asked when he came back down.

Sean nodded.

"Would you mind if...would it be ok if I said hi to them tomorrow? I'd rather stay here with you…" he said honestly.

Emma was a little taken back by that. She wasn't used to Sean being so openly emotional towards her. It was exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Emma smiled, genuinely this time.

"Yeah, there's room for two." Emma sat down on the bed and patted the spot beside her.

Sean smiled and sat down next to her, taking off his shoes and getting comfortable. Emma did the same and they laid side by side for the first time in years. They stayed in a comfortable silence for a while before Sean finally couldn't take it anymore.

"I can't believe you and Manny shared this bed for years, there's barely enough room for her hair in here let alone both of you." he joked.

Emma's giggle was like music to his ears.

"Ha, ha very funny. If your biceps weren't so huge, there would be more room army boy." Emma hit his arm lightly.

Wow, his biceps really were huge! I mean she knew he'd been working out for years and he'd always been muscular but damn this was just ridiculous!

"You love it!" Sean joked.

Emma rolled her eyes.

"I knew joining the army would only inflate your ego even worse."

Sean chuckled.

He turned his body towards her suddenly and Emma found herself once again looking directly in his eyes.

"How's your life, Em?" he asked softly.

Emma was tempted to do what she'd been doing for months and lie to him just like she had everyone else but tonight she was just too damn tired.

"It sucks. How's yours?"

Sean sighed.

"So does mine."

Emma nodded and gave herself a minute to let that sink in.

"Was it worth it?" she asked.

"To go into the military?"

Emma nodded.

Sean looked back into her eyes.

"Yes. I would have done anything to make sure I could give you the future you deserved Em. So it was worth it. Because now I know that I can still do that."

Emma look at him in disbelief.

Sean laughed.

"Like you didn't know that was always the plan."

Emma shook her head.

"You always planned on coming back for me?"

Now it was Sean's turn to look at HER in disbelief.

"Of course I did, Em! You were the one that broke up with me...in a dear john letter…"

Emma broke eye contact and sighed.

"Yeah, that sucked."

"Yeah, it did. But I understood it. You had to find your own way too just like I did."

Emma snorted.

"I sure did a lousy job of it."

Sean took her hand and held it with both of his.

"We all need a little help sometimes, Em. You taught me that years ago. You've spent a majority of your life helping everyone else...especially me. Maybe it's time you let me help you for a change."

Emma squeezed his hand tightly.

"Maybe it is." she whispered.

Sean pulled her to his chest and held her. They didn't speak the rest of the night. They just laid there listening to each other breathe until they fell asleep. It had been a long time since either one of them had slept soundlessly through out the entire night.

-X-

"Home sweet home." Jay joked finally pulling into his apartment building's parking lot.

He and Manny had spent an hour longer than they planned giving Spike and Snake the low down on what happened when they told Emma the news. Jay loved Emma's parents, but damn! It was past one in the morning and he was exhausted. He couldn't even imagine how tired Manny was after her long flight and emotionally draining evening at Emma's. He carried most of Manny's bags up to the second floor as she followed him almost zombie like.

"Just leave them here Jay we can get them in the morning." Manny gestured to the bags when they got into the apartment.

Jay didn't fight her and left them in the living room before locking the door and joining her in the bedroom. Manny had already pulled up her hair and threw off her clothes and was in the process of changing into one of his over sized old tee shirts when Jay walked in. Manny could be messy when she wanted to be, but Jay had never seen her just throw off her expensive designer clothes and kick them in a wrinkled pile on the floor before. There were even times when they were in the throes of passion and she stopped because Jay was wrinkling her dress. What was with her?

"Babe, you ok?" he asked.

Manny sighed and nodded her head yes even though she avoided eye contact. Jay was confused. Sure it was an emotional evening but usually Manny leaned on him to get through stuff. Tonight, it just seemed like she was shutting him out.

"You sure?" he grabbed her arm and turned her to look at him.

There were tears in Manny's eyes and she still tried to avoid eye contact.

"Jay, I'm fine. We can talk in the morning, ok? I'm just...so tired. Can we just go to sleep?" she pleaded, this time looking him in the eyes.

Jay still felt like something was off but he gave in and nodded pulling her into a big hug. Manny melted into it and sniffed away her tears. Jay undressed and climbed into bed next to her. They both knew they were going to have a long ass day tomorrow. Jay cuddled Manny to his chest and they fell asleep almost instantly.

-X-

"Why are you here Jane?"

Jane's smiled immediately vanished and Spinner felt an uneasy pit forming in his stomach.

"It's just that..we haven't talked since…" Jane broke off and looked down at her shoes.

Spinner sighed.

"I know." he said quietly.

"I know I don't have any right to come here, I guess I just thought…"

Tears started to form in the corners of Jane's eyes and she looked up and locked eyes with Spinner. His heart broke seeing her like this but he also knew he had to keep his defenses up. She used to be the love of his life and look what she did to him! They had plans, a future! And now she was living in another country going to college. There was no way it could work out between them even if Spinner wanted to forgive her.

"Jane.."

"I'm sorry. I guess I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry." she sucked back her tears.

Spinner nodded.

"I know. You said that before."

"I know, I just...before I didn't really know what I had lost. But I do now. That may not mean much to you but I wanted to tell you again. Sorry."

Spinner broke eye contact. He couldn't take looking at her like this. Jane had always been the strong one but right now she looked like she could break any minute and Spinner didn't like knowing he was the cause of it.

"And I also wanted to tell you that I'll be home for a month. I just got home today. So if you do want to talk while I'm here...you know where to find me." Jane turned to leave before she lost her confidence.

She didn't come here to cry all over her ex and beg him to take her back. She only wanted to open up the door for a friendship or even closure if Spinner was willing to give either one to her. If not, at least she knew she tried.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry too...that things didn't work out." Spinner said.

Jane stopped and nodded her head, but didn't turn around.

"I hope to hear from you." she called to him as she walked away.

She was afraid if she didn't leave then that she would do something completely stupid like kiss him or cry all over him.

Spinner wanted to stop her, to hug her, to comfort her, to tell her all the things he'd been missing about her for months now...but he just didn't have the strength. He wasn't ready to forgive her yet and maybe he never would be. Maybe while she was here they could meet for coffee and both get some closure on the situation but not right now. Tonight he was just too tired.

-X-

AN: So I know I've been slow on updating my stories lately, sorry! Been busy busy busy! And also, I would love it if I could get some more reviews! They keep me motivated for sure! CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is always incouraged:)