Chapter 4

Sybil smiled to herself as she climbed back into her welcoming bed. She was really beginning to understand the man she had given up so much for, and how to handle his sometimes difficult moods. Now to work out how best to break the news of her pregnancy to her sisters. She couldn't bear the thought of them thinking she had made a mistake or regretted her choice, but they would realise it hadn't been in her plan.

The pregnancy had been textbook so far from what she could glean from the two trusted sources of Tom's older sister Kathleen, and one of her few nursing friends, Eveline. The nauseaus first few months had been followed by unexpected energy. She smiled to herself as she remembered fondly how it was the smell of ink on Tom's hands which always seemed to trigger the bouts of sickness. So from that realisation onwards, Tom had kept his hands scrupulously clean. He had dryly commented how Lenin would have imprisoned him had he been in Soviet Russia, assuming from his clean hands he was one of the bourgeoisie.

As she put one hand on the bump, hidden under the covers, she tried to imagine what the little one would look like. Somehow she just couldn't picture how her and Tom's features could be merged into one person. She guessed she had about 3 months still to go, but from early on in the pregnancy nothing could convince her he wasn't to be a boy. She couldn't really explain how she knew, and they hadn't discussed if they had any preferences, as somehow it would make it more real. It would be strange after all these years, to be in a male dominated house, then again, maybe having a girl next would balance the family out.

She frowned then, so, it was already happening to her, the acceptance that this was her life from now on. Tom would scrape a living whilst she spent her days tidying the house and looking after the children. She had been too ashamed of her feelings to discuss them with Tom, unsure of his reaction. Her frustration grew, when would anything go their way? Others seemed to have more than their share of luck, her eldest sister for one. A tear escaped her eye, her pregnancy had made her more emotional and uncontrolled than usual.

Just then the door opened and the aforementioned sister peered round. "I thought it would be more fun darling if I helped you get ready this morning, like when we were little. Welcome back." It was obvious from her glowing face that Mary was finally content, with the wedding only a few weeks away. Sybil searched for the words to announce her condition, her bump still hidden by the bedclothes, but none came.

"I've had Anna air and press the dresses you left behind. I thought you might like to wear the gold day dress today."

" I don't think that's a good idea, you see Tom..."

"Look, just because he can't afford to clothe you in what you are used to, there is no reason for you to dress badly. " Mary wrongly assumed Sybil feared Tom's reaction, rather than the fact that the clothes would not do. In fact, it had been some months since her clothes had fit unaltered anyway, but Mary's attempt to control the situation, and her, had left her angry. Sybil struggled to let the insult to her husband pass unremarked. She bit her lip, trying hard to keep her emotions in check, but feeling like she was still being treated as the baby sister, not a grown woman, who was certainly capable of choosing her own clothes, amongst other things.

" I think I can guess what this is" Mary said, noting the tear stained face and discarded wedding ring, which unbeknownst to her no longer fit Sybil's swollen fingers."and you don't have to worry. It can be sorted. Its almost fashionable these days. Things may not have gone to plan, but there are things which can be done. In fact, I sensed from your letters something was wrong so made enquiries."

"You did?" Sybil sniffed. Maybe this wasn't going to be so hard. "That's such a relief. I had been dreading telling you." More tears escaped. Mary sat down on the bed next to her and put her hand gently on her arm.

" Hush darling. I will speak to Matthew later. We need only establish cause which I'm sure Branson will agree to for a suitable payment. Is it adultery or cruelty?"

"What, I don't understand?" a bewildered Sybil queried.

"You have to have cause for the divorce from what I can gather, but I don't think it will be a problem" . Mary looked sympathetically into her sister's eyes.

"Divorce? You think that..that's why...?" She could not continue the sentence, the shock followed by anger rendered her temporarily speechless.

"Well isn't it?"

"You mean you had already looked into it, you'd assumed that that would happen." she could see from her reaction that this was true. Would Mary's belief in her divine right to order her life never change? She threw aside the covers to reveal her swollen stomach, hastily throwing on one of the few dresses she had brought. Fortunately the clothes she now owned did not need any assistance to put on.

"Sybil, I just meant you don't have to keep going through with it if you don't want. Even with... " she looked down, unwilling to mention overtly the fact that she was expecting.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you yet again, all of you. Some things may not have happened as I'd expected, but we are not giving up on each other. Nothing has changed. Especially not now." Before Mary could reply, Sybil left the room, she needed to see the only person who made sense to her.

"I can see your morning is going as smoothly as mine" was Tom's attempt to make light of the situation as she told him of her encounter. "So we've not yet had breakfast on our first day, I've managed to practically punch the valet, insult your father's hospitality, and you've had a row with half of your sisters. "

She smiled through her tears, "and I don't think the new chauffeur was taken with you either" she added.

He smiled at that, then grew serious, having taken in that her feelings of frustration stemmed more from the baby than any real resentment of her sister. "Sybil, I know we've not talked about it, but after the baby is born, we will have some options. My sister still works some hours whilst my mother watches her children. I know its not usual in your circles, but if its what you want we will manage it. Look at Lenin's thoughts. Women have to be free from this outdated view that their role is purely domestic, so they are able to fully contribute to society."

"Really, I didn't know you admired him. Tell me more." she sarcastically stated.

He was about to continue with more on his political idol, when he saw the sparkle in her eyes, something which he could only now admit to himself had been missing these last few months.

"Are you teasing me Mrs Branson?" he said in a low voice, pulling her closely to him so their whole bodies were touching, including the bump, which she now began to hope might bring them closer together,not apart. The fact that they were here in Downton, the original setting for their forbidden romance, added a thrill of the elicit to their physical contact, despite the fact they were man and wife.

They kissed deeply and slowly, their foreheads touching as it ended, both sighing with unspent desire. "Lets go down for breakfast before we get ourselves into any more trouble" she said as she grasped his hand tightly.