Soccer
2025
"I am never talking to you again,"
"Aww, come on,"
"Do you have any idea how embarrassing you are?"
"She fouled you, Daisy, and the referee didn't call her out on it,"
"Yeah, and I didn't need you to go storming over and ranting at him,"
"You did,"
She stops abruptly and turns to face him. Marshall glances over to Daisy and Barney, and can't help but note how Lilyish Daisy's expression is. She's inherited her mother's angry-at-Barney glare.
"No. I didn't," she says witheringly, and marches away from him over to the car to where Marshall's stuffing her soccer kit-bag into the trunk.
Her little sister would whine, 'Dad-dyyy' at him, but Daisy simply opens the door, climbs into the passenger seat, clicks her seatbelt in and folds her arms.
Marshall gives Barney an amused glance, and gets into the driving seat.
Barney sighs, and opens the back left door of the car.
"Good game, Daisy," says Marshall cheerfully.
"We lost three-two,"
"But you played well- oh, who am I kidding, yeah, you lost. Bad luck,"
Daisy sighs unhappily and gazes out of the car window.
"Daddy," she whispers a little later, "Promise me you'll never let Uncle Barney come to one of my soccer games ever again,"
"I can hear you," Barney butts in. They ignore him.
"He wanted to come. He's proud of you,"
"If I wanted someone to embarrassing tantrums on the pitch-side, I'd bring Anna,"
"That tackle was unfair, Day. She should have got yellow carded," Marshall points out.
"But she didn't, and we got on with the game. We didn't need Uncle Jackass to start World War Three,"
"Sittingliterally right here," Barney reminds them.
"I might have called the ref out, to be honest," Marshall admits, "It was an obvious foul,"
"I would have killed you," Daisy sulks, "Almost as much as I'm going to kill Barney,"
"What's worse, then: an embarrassing Dad or an embarrassing Uncle?" Marshall tries to pacify.
Daisy considers. "An hour ago I would have said Dad, but now I think I'll go with Uncle. God, everyone will be asking at school on Monday why I have some creepy, angry-"
"-Awesome-"
"- Interfering, unhelpful moron coming to watch my soccer matches,"
"Daisy, I can guarantee that your Uncle Barney has embarrassed me more than he's embarrassed you today," declares Marshall.
"Not possible,"
"Barney used to have this feud with a guy who worked on the building opposite his office. He got me involved in this stupid-"
"-Awesome-"
"-Okay, it was kind of awesome," Marshall concedes, "-prank war,"
"Yeah," jumps in Barney excitedly, "I'd get that dude's coffee and then I'd-"
"Yeah, I know what you did," cuts in Marshall, shuddering, "But that scheme got pretty embarrassing,"
"Speak for yourself- you're not the one who got his motivational poster eaten by white mice,"
"Oh my God, I forgot about the mice!" says Marshall.
"The mice was my best idea…also my dumbest idea," Barney admits.
"You're as bad as each other," says Daisy, again in a Lilyish tone.
"Barney was worse," Marshall says.
"Actually, yeah. Barney's way worse," agrees Daisy.
"Daisy! Day!" he calls from the back seat, "Wanna see a magic trick?"
"No,"
"It's a good one,"
"No,"
"It's a new one,"
"No,"
"It won't set you on fire,"
"No! I'm not going anywhere near your magic after last time,"
"That was an accident! Tell her, Marshall,"
"Barney, youdid set her hair on fire,"
"By mistake!"
"Sorry, buddy," sighs Marshall.
Barney sighs dramatically, flops back into his seat, balloons one of his cheeks and begins flicking it with his finger to make a hollow pop noise.
Daisy looks at Marshall wearily.
"He's the biggest kid of us all," she says.
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