This is a long-ass chapter, so I hope you're ready for this! Enjoy!

Chapter IV: Patience

Carl sat on the comfy fabric couch, slouching into the soft cushions. Christ, he was stressed. He had decided to visit Sophia at her Alexandria home to get his mind off of all the bullshit going on. Sophia and Maggie had a main house that they stayed at in The Hilltop, but they also had a house in Alexandria that they would share with Jesus. It was their old house from when they lived in Alexandria, so they conveniently used it when going on overnight trips. Due to the stress of the war, Maggie preferred they stay in Alexandria. She had claimed to be staying until she was sure that Rick was feeling better, but Carl knew she was worried because Negan was there. She was the only one who hated Negan more than he did. She absolutely resented him and Carl didn't blame her after witnessing what he did to Glenn. If Carl could, he would gut the bastard right in front of her so she can watch him experience the fate her husband did.

He was alone inside of the family room with his own thoughts. Maggie had let him in and told him Sophia would be down in a bit. She looked stressed out, so he decided not to pry too much as he watched her go back into the kitchen to talk to Jesus. He had barely touched the peanut butter sandwich that she gave him. He wasn't hungry. Thoughts of the barbaric Negan destroyed his appetite. It made the boy sick. He wished he could rip up his thoughts with the knife that should have been in Negan's skin. But he wanted to cool down. He wouldn't waste any thoughts on that fuck any more that day, he was eager for Sophia to come down to distract him. Carl could hear the water from the shower clash on the ground like rain. He slouched further, trying to get comfortable, focusing on the sound of the shower. The water was like static from a TV, just streaming in a continuous motion.

He closed his eye and took in his surroundings. Carl imagined himself standing outside in the rain. His clothes were muddy and wet as he had been jumping in puddles all day. No matter how many times his mother told him to get inside the house, he wasn't going to listen to her. He was in his own world. He was alone…

He heard the shower switch off and the patter of feet scurrying down the stairs. "Carl! I am so happy to see you!" Sophia's voice rang above him.

Carl lifted his head and smiled. "Hi, Sophia."

She sat on the couch beside him, causing the cushions to hop. She turned to face him with smile brighter than her hair. "My mom brought me to go see your dad today. He was asleep so my mom told me not to disturb him, but it was nice to see his face. He looks really bad, but I'm happy he is recovering!" she said in what felt like one breath.

"Yeah," Carl responded with barely any emotion.

"What's wrong Carl?" Sophia asked touching his arm, he smiled in reassuringly. "I'm glad your dad is alive… if only my dad was still alive." Carl knew she was referring to Glenn. He understood that she used forgetting as a coping mechanism, but it really concerned him. Carl hated that she was lying to herself, it wasn't fair. He could tell that she was trying to hold a smile. He knew she was jealous, but she kept it to herself. That's what he liked about Sophia: she knew how to make others feel comfortable…Carl was jealous of that.

"I'm glad he's doing well," he responded, "Andrea told me that we can go a bit later, it'll be nice to see him again. I'm missing him nagging me, to be completely honest with you." Carl couldn't help but smirk, bringing a blush to his face. He looked down to hide it.

"Aw, Carl! It's okay to miss him! I miss my daddy, too!" the smaller girl threw her scrawny arms on him in a deep hug.

"Thanks, Sophia," Carl chuckled. There was something about Sophia that calmed him down. She always tried to appear positive, even when she should be hurting. When she spoke to Carl, she knew when to keep her distance. They could sit beside each other without a word for hours. Carl loved the silence as much as her company.

"How is your eye feeling?" he heard her murmur innocently through his shirt. He gently pushed her up, allowing her to lay her head on his shoulder. Their relationship was purely platonic- no matter what the other kids said.

Carl smiled, moving his head so his good eye was looking at her. "It's pretty good actually. Andrea has been on my ass about putting on the medication so it won't get infected. I guess people bossing me around isn't always that bad?" Carl laughed.

"I know you're kidding. You hate being bossed around," she said through a smirk.

"That's because my dad never lets me do anything," he said with a sigh. "I'm old enough to do things for myself, to make my own decisions. Everyone knows that I'm more mature than ninety percent of the adults here."

"Th-that's true. You always protect me! You should be able to do what you want!"

Carl chuckled. Sophia's eyebrows narrowed as she lifted her head off his shoulder. "Of course, I'm strong enough to take care of myself…I'm not some sissy girl!"

Carl continued laughing at her. She was cute when she got assertive. Sophia was a liar and she made a pretty damn convincing one…Well, she was good at convincing herself, at least.

"Stop laughing at me! I'm gonna go tell mom and you're gonna get in trouble!" she threatened, which made him laugh harder. She huffed a breath and crossed her arms. "You are no fun, Carl Grimes. Maybe getting a gunshot to the head gave you brain damage after all."

Carl's laughing stopped abruptly. His stomach suddenly began to hurt. The boy couldn't control his emotions when someone brought up his deformity. Carl was self-conscious, so much so that he struggled not to cry. Why does everyone keep bringing up my goddamned deformity? It doesn't fucking define me! He was a fucking emotional wreck. That's what the apocalypse does to you. Harden the fuck up, man. Sophia doesn't need to see you cry like some pussy! He fought his tears back, but refused to look at her. Goddammit, why am I so fucking ugly?

"Carl…" he heard Sophia whisper. She paused for a moment before saying, "I'm sorry. I was upset at you for joking around. I shouldn't-" he heard her sniffling. He shot his head up. Sophia was the most emotional of them all. The apocalypse hit her the hardest, having to watch her mom commit suicide and her adoptive father have his face bashed in.

"It's okay," he said quickly, saving her from having a breakdown. "Let's change the subject. I'm not mad at you," he forced a smile.

She sniffed and looked back at him, "a-are you sure?"

"Yeah, I know you didn't mean anything by it."

Her lips slowly curved upwards. "Do you want to play cards or something… like old times?"

"Only if you aren't gonna ask me to be your boyfriend again," Carl winked. Sophia's freckled faced flushed tomato red as she giggled.

About an hour had passed and at this point the kids weren't even playing anymore. They were making up their own rules and throwing cards at each other. As much as he hated to admit it, Carl loved being distracted from the shit storm beyond the walls- or in the walls currently.

"I wonder how long my mom will let you stay here for," Sophia stated after their third game of Crazy Jacks and Fish.

"Whenever, I guess," he responded with a shrug. "Andrea doesn't really care when I get home as long as I actually show up."

"Um, Carl?" Sophia looked down at her hands. "Can I ask you a question? Y-you can say no!"

"Shoot."

"Umm…Why don't you call Andrea mom?" she whispered, barely loud enough for a mouse to hear.

What kind of question was that? She knew he wasn't delusional like she was. He accepted this reality as it was, not make up some dumb fantasy. "Because she's not my mom. My mom is dead. I watched her die with my sister," he responded cooly.

"Oh… um…" Sophia twiddled with her tiny fingers, "she might as well be your mom-"

"It's different than you are with Maggie," Carl explained. "You wouldn't understand, it's complicated." Why the fuck did she care so much?

"I-she's with your dad so I thought it made sense…"

"Maggie adopted you," he sighed, "Andrea is my friend."

Sophia sighed, but didn't look up. Carl watched as she twiddled with her hands, rocking her legs back and forth. Her feet could barely touch the ground. Her face was emotionless. He couldn't tell if she was upset or just had nothing to say. He could hear Jesus' loud laugh from the kitchen. Wine glasses clinked together as if a glockenspiel was being played in his ears. Maggie and Jesus continued laughing, this time it was soft and slow. Carl looked back at Sophia. She was still in the same pose. He hoped that he hadn't hurt her.

"I'm not happy about Negan being here," he heard her murmur still looking at her hands.

"Yeah…" he sighed. They were on the one topic he didn't want to think about. Carl accepted that he would always be prey to that subject.

"What he did to both of our dads -It's okay if you need to cry…"

"It's not like he died like your dad."

She looked at him with bloodshot eyes. Tears ran down her freckled cheeks.

"I think we both need to cry," she said in barely a whisper. He could tell that she was holding this in for a long time. He felt so bad that he wanted to cry. There was so much pain that this man inflicted on them.

Carl held tears back from escaping his eye. He held Sophia, who was sobbing so hard she was choking. He laid her head on his lap and laid one of his hands on her head. He felt water trickle down from his eye as he was beginning to lose his cool. Carl put his other hand on his face to wipe away the tears, but they were too much. He forced himself to keep his hand on the girl's head. He didn't want her to feel his tears on her face. She needed to believe that at least someone wasn't vulnerable in this messed up world. Shit, he thought. He was feeling like ten emotions at once as the tears he had held back for many years streamed down his face like Niagara Falls.

After a while, she looked up at him. She noticed his eye was red, too. Carl didn't care at this point if she knew he was crying. Sophia was the only person who would never judge Carl. She was the only person who knew who he truly was. He sighed, allowing the last of his tears fall out, as he grabbed a handful of tissues from the end table at his side. He wiped the snot off the girl's face. "You, okay?" he asked.

She nodded, sitting up, wiping her face with her hand. "I think so. Are you?"

"Yeah."

Their conversation was disrupted by a loud knock at the door. They silently watched Maggie emerge from the kitchen, fixing her short hair and adjusting her shirt. She opened the door and was conversing with the stranger on the other side. They watched her nod and close the door.

She stood in front of them with her arms crossed. She sighed, not looking happy about what she had to say. "Do you know who was at the door?" she asked them.

How the hell was Carl supposed to know?

"It was one of Negan's Saviours," she answered her own question, "he said Negan is calling a meeting and wants the town to come."

"Fuck no," Carl responded.

"Really? The f-word, Carl? You know that Negan is the last person in the world that I want to see, but he's calling a town meeting. This could be important so you two should come."

"I guess," Carl responded. "Can I think about it?"

"No," Maggie responded firmly. "You are going. There. I decided for you. Now grab your stuff and get ready for the meeting. It starts soon."

Carl and Sophia looked at each other with the same expression. Great.

It was evening by the time Carl, Sophia, Maggie, and Jesus arrived to the meeting. Negan had decided to hold the meeting in the middle of the town. People from Alexandria, the Hilltop, and the Kingdom all gathered around a makeshift stage, made of wooden crates they used to store jars. Fifty armed Saviours were situated at both sides of the stage. They looked bored out of their minds, but still managed to look intimidating. They passed the armed men as Sophia moved closer to Carl. He could feel her shaking with fear, so he took off his hat and placed it on her head. That way, she knew he would protect her.

"Sophia, sweetie," he heard Maggie's voice chime in, "you don't need to be scared. I'm right here with you and," she pulled the handle of a gun out of her pocket just enough so Sophia could see. She then pointed over to Jesus, who still had his sword packed in his armour. He gave them a smirk. Sophia relaxed, giving Carl some more space, but enough that she could hide behind him.

"There are so many people!" Sophia whispered in amazement. Carl couldn't help agreeing with her. The war was so mind consuming that he didn't even get to process how huge the human population was.

Once they reached a spot where they could visually see the stage, the tensions began to run through Carl's veins. He was standing, almost directly where the one person he wanted dead more than anyone would be. He knew that he needed to keep his cool, so he focused on the guard who was standing against one of the houses behind the stage, lighting a smoke. Before he could focus anymore, his worst enemy slapped the back of the guard's head, causing him to drop his cigarette. Negan said something to the man that made him frantically get out his gun and return to his position. Negan then turned and grinned that devilish grin, his teeth gleaming in the sunset. He made his way towards his stage in an intimidating swagger that caused many people in the audience to gasp. He climbed on the stage and scanned his surroundings until he stopped on Carl. Carl tried to look away, but his eye wouldn't let him. The monster's eyebrows looked like they would fly off and slowly rip through his skin like the strings in Audition.

The monster looked out to the audience, smiling gleefully. "Wow! God fucking damn! I didn't expect to have such a great motherfucking turn out! I'm like fucking John Bon Jovi and y'all are horny, middle aged broads!" His face got serious as the crowd got tense. "I don't know why you fucking assholes won't listen to me! I provide, provide, and motherfucking provide for your damn selfish lives! Well, I'm done! Things are gonna change the fuck around here so get the dicks out of your face and listen up!"

There was whispers throughout the crowd. Carl felt Sophia grab onto his arms and hide behind him.

"Yeah! They're gonna fucking change around here! You!" he exclaimed, pointing at a blonde, pimple-faced, boy who couldn't be older than sixteen. "Yes, you. Come here, boy! I'm not gonna fuckin' make you suck my dick!" The boy approached him, awkwardly standing next to the stage. Negan knelt down and put his hand on the young man's shoulder. "What's your name?"

"Um," the teenager was shaking, "Chad?"

"Chad," Negan repeated to the crowd, "Motherfuckin' cunt lickin' Chad. Say hi to everyone, Chad!"

The boy waved so uncomfortably that it made Carl cringe.

"Where the fuck are the manners in this fucking community? Acting like this is a goddamn palace and this man is your whore! Say hi to fucking Chad, everyone!"

Soft, uneven monotone voices flood the space. The fuck is this? Carl thought, Does he think this will actually work? You stupid fuckin-

His thoughts were disrupted by Negan's loud voice. "Now, Chad, get on your knees and undo my pants!"

"Wh-what?" the boy was shaking, making Carl even more uncomfortable, if possible.

"You fuckin' deaf, kid? Need Jesus to come over here to perform fuckin' miracle on you?"

Carl watched as Chad gulped and got down to his knees, facing Negan's jeans. He slowly moved his hands towards the zipper and –

"The livin' fuck are you doing, kid? You didn't think I was actually fucking serious! I know I'm desirable, but I ain't no homo!"

The boy awkwardly stood up, he turned around, keeping his head down. Carl could tell Chad was embarrassed. The hell?

Negan's laughter echoed through the town. "Did you-did you see his fucking face? Shit! I think I'm gonna piss all over the place! The kid was actually gonna do it! He was actually gonna suck my dick!"

Everyone else was silent, just as confused as Chad was. Chad whispered something to Negan and got the approval to go back to his spot.

Negan got himself together and continued his rant. "Okay! Time to address the real reason why I brought you here today. That was just some fun I was having. Chad knows there's no hard fucking feelings, right Chad? Chad and I are so fucking close that he might as well be a side fuck. Alright," he cleared his throat, "I don't like this 'I-do-what-I-want-fuck-Negan' attitude that has been going around. Do you not realize that I have been the one supporting you from the beginning? All I wanted was just a little tiny itsy fucking bitsy amount of your stuff so my people could survive. Now we're in this mess! Worst of all, some people out here are trying to fuckin' kill me! Come on, we're not savages. We're just trying to fuckin' make ends meet here. You fuckers listen up!"

"Are you gonna use the iron on them, sir?" a Saviour called from the back.

"The iron? What? No, I'm not gonna use the fuckin' iron! I'm trying to change here, try to figure out why these people are being fuckin' scrotums! Besides, I'll only use it if you try to fuck my wives… I'm sure you won't be fucking my wives, right?" He was pointing at a little girl with black braids. The mother quickly covered her daughter's ears and glared at the bastard. "So please, get your shit together and do your fuckin' work! I don't know why ya'll are being so damn difficult! Rick is o-fucking-kay! In the next few weeks he will being doing pirouettes and shit all over the fucking place! Re-fucking-lax and get laid! Oh yeah! My men will be hanging around in your communities for a while, you know, to make sure you're not yankin' my dick here. They know what to do if you don't listen, and it won't be pretty," he threatened. His jolly smirk returned to his face as he threw his arms up in the air. "Now let's have a good fucking time and not piss each other off anymore! Thanks for listening, everyone! You can have the night off, but you better all be fucking working by tomorrow morning. Sleep tight!" he blew kisses as he exited the stage, as if the murmuring crowd was cheering and throwing flowers at him.

"Fuck him," he heard Maggie mutter to herself as she grabbed Sophia's arm to leave.

Carl remained in place, just standing, staring at the empty stage that his worst enemy was just standing on. People rushed around him like the walkers did a year ago. I can't believe this guy! Open threats? That's his plan to make people like him? Before long, Carl was standing alone. It was dark as the sun had already gone down. He breathed in the cool air and made his way towards the infirmary.

I added the Lori telling Carl to get in the house as a joke because that's her character….uh I hope you liked it?