Chapter 4
Alice had to admit it was rather strange to see her body without her inside it, acting so different to her. She wondered whether the Tweedle brothers felt the same about seeing someone so similar to themselves. But then again they were never without each other, so to them it might feel strange to not see someone so alike. When Cheshire beckoned her up onto the table Alice felt a little hesitant. She didn't want the Hatter, or anyone else for that matter, to see her in the state she was. But she bound up onto the table all the same and sat next to Chess. Still the Hatter hadn't noticed her since he was arguing with her body's kidnapper. He knelt on the table and leaned in close to Alice's tiny body, but it wasn't intimidated.
"What have you done with Alice's consciousness?" he said in a low voice, his Scottish accent coming through ever so slightly. The Alice shaped thing looked back at him in stubborn silence.
"So it's like that, is it?" he continued. As he leaned closer to Alice's body an ashy black colour began to form around his eyes.
"Like what?" retorted the Alice shaped thing aggressively.
"That." He growled, his eyes getting darker. There was less than an inch between the two of them now.
"If you get any closer," the Alice shaped thing warned him "I'll rip out so much of your nose hair, your eyes will water for weeks."
The darkness instantly disappeared from his face as he backed away from the Alice shaped thing, as if its words had burnt him. His thimbled fingers hovered over his nose for a moment. This Alice shaped thing was much better at intimidating him, despite size and stature.
Cheshire signalled with his tail to Alice that she should make her presence known; but she just bowed and shook her head. She didn't know why she was so embarrassed; she didn't usually care about her appearance or what people thought of it.
"Alright," said the Hatter, addressing Alice's body, in a slightly higher voice than usual. "If you won't cooperate, then we must use extreme measures," He reached for a white teapot with an intricate blue pattern of assorted fruit painted on it. The Hatter held it in front of him as if it commanded the same response and respect as a large sword. The Alice shaped thing held back a giggle.
"A teapot?" it said raising an eyebrow.
"No, no, silly thief." replied the Hatter as if talking to a child. "The tea inside is the important thing. And I really would rather not waste it on you. Please tell me where the Aliceness of Alice is; then I shan't have to use it."
The Alice shaped thing blew a loud raspberry at the Hatter, crossed her arms and turned her back to him.
"I'll never tell you. That idiot girl doesn't deserve this body."
At that remark the Hatter went to pour the contents of the tea pot over Alice's body in a manic fury. But before the first drop could creep out of the spout, Chess disrupted him.
"Tarrant, there really is no need for all of this. Alice is right here." Cheshire nodded towards Alice who looked up timidly.
The Hatter carefully placed the tea pot on the table, not taking his eyes off of the real Alice. He came forward and examined her closely; he didn't want to be fooled by another Alice impostor. His brow furrowed and his mouth went considerably smaller with concentration. Alice couldn't help but smile.
"Don't worry. If you were in someone else's body I'd have a hard time recognising you too." She said kindly. But she tried not to smile for fear of the Hatter breathing in some of her cat breath. But he didn't seem to mind: At the sound of her voice his wide amber-green eyes brightened and a calm blissful smile etched its way onto his face.
"It's you. It is undoubtedly and certainly you!" and with that he scooped her up in his arms and hugged her tightly. Maybe a little too tightly for the cat's brittle bones. For that moment Alice felt very small in his embrace. She was always the wrong size for him. Alice gave a little involuntary squeak that signalled to the Hatter that he should probable stop squeezing before something cracked. He carried her to the opposite end of the table and lovingly placed her in the seat next to his.
"Now all we have to do is get your body back." said the Hatter, gesturing with his hands as if he had just precariously balanced something. Alice looked down at her paws, then up to Chess and her body.
"Aw, look. She's embarrassed to be seen in the manky old cat's body." said the Alice shaped thing scornfully, provoking yet another glare from the Hatter.
With those words, Alice realised how girly and immature she was being and tried with all her might to ignore every embarrassed fibre within her as she addressed her stolen body.
"I'm not the one who stole someone else's body just to get out of this one." she replied plainly. "And you said that you'd give it back after you'd eaten, and you have."
"Yes but that was before I was dropped and threatened with a teapot." it retorted like a teenager arguing with its parents.
"You're lucky you were only threatened with it you body snatching, cake guzzling-" began the Hatter.
"Hatter." interrupted Alice, deadheading his ramble before it had a chance to blossom. She then addressed her body. "I'm sure we can resolve this. Why can't you get food like the other cats in Underland?"
"What? Do you mean like this well-to-do fat toff?" exclaimed her body as pointed at Chess; who graciously ignored her insults, knowing that he could have delivered a truly excellent comeback if he so wished. "We can't all just stroll into the Queen's court and be offered a banquet when ever we feel like it." she said contemptuously.
"Yes, but we're not all stealing other people's bodies love." said Chess smoothly as he ran his stubby finger around the rim of his tea cup.
"I don't have to listen to this." said the Alice shaped thing, gesturing with her arm as if throwing the conversation from her mind as she began to head for the edge of the table.
"Yes you do. You're in Alice's body and you're not walking off with it." said Chess simply as he reached for an empty teapot.
"Watch me, you-" but before she could finish her insult Cheshire had sprung into action and trapped her beneath the teapot which could only just contain her. The Alice shaped thing began to shriek and growl as it banged and scratched at the edge of the teapot.
"Let me out! I really don't like enclosed spaces! Please! LET ME OUT!"
The real Alice jumped onto the table and walked over to the shouting teapot. And began to speak softly to it; she knew that she would never get her body back by force. Both Chess and the Hatter watched her in curious silence.
"There must have been someone who looked after you before. Someone who cared for you." she said with her mouth to the end of the teapot's spout.
"'Course there was. Now let me out!" said the Alice shaped thing distrustfully.
"Who where they?" Asked Alice cautiously, she didn't want to hit a painful nerve.
"That's none of your business, you prying little girl. LET ME OUT!" the disdain with which the Alice shaped thing had said the words "prying little girl" was venomous, but that didn't deter Alice.
"What happened to them?" asked Alice in a concerned and not at all nosy tone.
"It doesn't matter! Just let me out, before I do something I'll regret!" it growled.
"Not until I get to the bottom of this; what happened to them?" Alice asked a little more forcefully.
"They died, ok? Are you happy now, you stupid little girl?" it shouted. Its growl was barely masking the pain it felt as it spoke. Alice knew it wasn't lying. The atmosphere around the table was so tense the air felt thick as they breathed, waiting for Alice to speak.
"What happened?" asked Alice, her voice shaking.
"The Jabberwockey killed them, along with the rest of the Hightopp clan." said the Alice shaped thing. Its voice may not have been as loud was before but it was still as angry.
The Hatter's face fell into an expression of shock. He felt as if he had just been unexpectedly knocked from his feet. But he didn't say a word; he didn't even seem to be breathing.
"You masters were of the Hightopp clan." Alice breathed, unable to think of something else to say.
"Not a soul came to look for me. No one. I've been rotting in those woods for three years. So maybe it wasn't fair that I took your body, but life isn't fair sweet heart." growled Alice's body bitterly.
"But…" Alice paused, afraid of the reaction she might provoke. "Why didn't you just come to see the Hatter for food? He's one of the Hightopp clan too."
"Him?" scoffed the voice from within the teapot "In case you haven't noticed girl, he's a lunatic. I couldn't deal with his madness every day, even if he was my only hope!" the voice spoke as if fraternising with the Hatter was a laughable concept. He tried his best not to show it but Alice could tell that the Hatter was hurt by her body's harsh words. Alice lost a great deal of sympathy for her body's kidnapper at that moment.
"So you'd rather starve than ask for food?" asked Alice incredulously.
"No I'd rather steal you body and trick it out of the mad man, keep up girl." replied the voice in a patronising tone.
"So you did this all just to get food?" asked Alice, getting agitated
"And a nicer body. Surely you've noticed what a wreck that one is by now."
Alice thought for a minute.
"What if we make a deal?" she suggested. The teapot made no sound, so Alice took that to mean that her body was listening. "If you give me my body back, I'll feed you every day and I'll pamper you. That is to say I'll wash and brush your fur and treat your wounds until you body his how it should be. How dose that sound?"
"That sounds like a pretty rubbish deal to me girl. Think harder." said the voice in a smug tone.
"I don't have to." said Alice simply "If you don't agree with my terms that's fine. You can starve in that teapot for all I care."
"You wouldn't do that. I've got your body." The voice didn't sound as confidant as it would have liked.
"Oh, but I would." said Alice realiseing she had the upper hand "If you won't give me my body back, why should it matter to me what happens to it?"
There was a long silence until the Alice shaped thing's voice broke it.
"Fine." it growned. Cheshire lifted up the teapot as he held the cat's looking glass that Alice had left that end of the table in is tale. A grumpy faced Alice shaped thing looked up at him.
"Now if I remember correctly," began Chess, relived that Alice had resolved the situation "There are two ways to reverse the effects of this implement. But first I must enquire as to how you came by it." he asked Alice's body.
"Ah, now that would be telling." replied the Alice shaped thing coyly.
"Fine," replied Cheshire as if he didn't have the energy to continue the desusion. "As I was saying there are two ways this could work. The first, and most commonly used, is to wait until the light of the midnight moon hits the glass, and then shine it into the eyes of the taken body. In our circumstance this would be Alice's body. But I doubt any of us want to wait until the moon rises." Alice and the Hatter nodded in agreement o this. "The second method," continued Cheshire. "Is to break the mirror open and drink the liquid from inside."
"Why is that the least commonly used?" asked Alice warily.
"Because you can not use the implement afterwards and the liquid tastes horrid-"
"And it hurts," interrupted the Alice shaped thing, looking as if she'd just won a small victory.
Alice looked up worriedly at Cheshire. Who said in answer to her silent question. "Yes, it hurts"
"How much?" asked Alice and the Hatter in unison, although the Hatter looked more conserned than Alice did.
"Like hell." said the Alice shaped thing smugly before Cheshire could speek.
On those words the Hatter got up onto the table and walked across it to where Alice sat, sending cutlery and china flying off of the table as he did so. He knelt down beside the real Alice and spoke to Chess.
"Maybe it isn't such a wise idea to swap the bodies just now." he suggested his voice wavouring. At that moment Alice wanted to hug him for his concern, or at least hold his hand. But again she was the wrong shape and size. So instead she gazed up at him lovingly. He couldn't help but smile back at her.
"I don't mind doing it now." she aid bravly "The sooner we get this over with the better."
"Alright then," said Cheshire approvingly, as he raised the mirror above Alice's head. "Open wide."
Alice slowly opened her mouth as Chess tilted the looking glass and poured the black juice onto her tongue. The liquid tasted of warm copper and was searing hot. It burnt her mouth and throat on the way down to her stomach and when it it setteled there she felt like her insideds were melting. When she thought she'd got past the worst of the burning, her brain began to twinge. And then the twinge worsened and worsened until it felt like her brain was being fryed by electric volts. She closed her eyes and scrunched up her face with pain.
"Alice?" said the Hatter quietly, putting a conserned hand on both of her cat shoulders. Her only response was a little squeek of pain, whitch only made that Hatter more anxious. His sparkling eyes widened as he leaned in towards the cat's body. "Alice?"
But when Alice opened her eyes she was back in her own body and looking at the Hatter.
"Over here Hatter." she laughed.
He turned away from the cat and gently took Alice's hand between his thumb and forefinger, and began to walk her acros the table.
"Now everything is as it should be." he smiled happily as the came to the end of the table. "Except for your size of couse, but that's easily put right." said the Hatter as he sat down, leaving Alice in the table in front of him. He reached across the table and brought a plate of assorted cakes to her. His fingers hovered around he cakes until he found the one he was looking for. He plucked it out of the pile and handed it to Alice.
"Upelkuchen, my dear." he said, looking rather pleased with himself.
"The growing cake?" Alice asked and the Hatter nodded in response.
Alice took the piece of cake that seemed oversized compared to her and went to bite into it
"Wait-!" said Cheshire and the Hatter together. But it was too late. Alice had already taken a sizeable chunk out of the cake and her body was swelling up to its normal size. As she grew her petticoat-rag-dress ripped into ribbons leaving her practicaly naked. Enven though Alice managed to cover her indecencies in time, she still found being crouched on the table, naked in front of the Hatter rather awkward. He looked up at her sheepishly, blushing bright pink, before politely averting his gaze.
A/N: Ok that was a bit long (sorry about that…)
I just thought you should know I wasn't being lazy when I didn't specify where the cat got the body swapping looking glass. When the rest of Underland when into battle at the end of the film, the cat snuck into the White Queen's palace and stole it from the vault which was at that time unguarded. The reason I didn't have her say that in the chapter was because, if the Hatter knew that the cat had stolen from both Alice and the White Queen (his two favourite ladies) he wouldn't't have allowed Alice to strike a deal with her.
Please, please, please review! I'm so thankful for the ones I have received so far! ^_^