Michael tried to balance the crutches against the end of the sofa. After the third attempt, as he failed, yet again, to catch them when they crashed down, he gave them a kick with his foot and shouted;
"Fucking things!"
Laughing, Syed called him over.
"Leave them there, they're always doing that. Christian tripped over them yesterday and they nearly ended up out the window."
"Handy if I'd broken my leg too." Christian observed. "We could both lie here in state and wait for someone to come and help us."
"I'd help you." Michael settled down on the end of the bed. "Have you had many visitors?"
"Truck loads. Even Ian, Christian's brother in law…"
Christian groaned loudly.
"Ugh, ex soon, I expect. He only comes because he's hoping Jane might be here. Last time he suggested that, as I wasn't doing anything, I could manage a couple of shifts in the chippy and listen out for Sy with a baby monitor! Wanker."
"Syed could beat on the floor with his crutch.."
"Or get a little bell…" Syed began to giggle, "..I'm going to get up tomorrow."
"No you're bloody not."
"See, Michael? He's keeping me prisoner."
Looking at the two of them, lying together, fingers intertwined, Michael considered what a lovely prison it must be.
"Do you remember when you got hit on the head at school? There was a fountain of blood and the P.E teacher fainted and it ended up with you having to take care of him until the ambulance arrived."
"Ha Ha! Yes. You'd kicked a football at me, hadn't you?"
"Whoops, I forgot that bit. It was an accident though, and I did give you all my POG's afterwards.."
"Guilty conscience…" Syed wriggled uncomfortably. "..I need my contraption.."
Instantly, Christian made to get up, but Syed restrained him.
"Michael will get it.."
Frowning in confusion, Michael said;
"Michael would, if he knew what it is. Do I want to know? It's not something Sam gave you is it?"
"Eww, no. It's three knitting needles tied together, over there, by the fruit bowl.."
Dutifully, Michael went to retrieve it and handed it to Christian, who deftly slid it under the covers, moving it up and down.
Seeing Michael's fascinated stare, he explained;
"His leg gets itchy under the cast, I borrowed these off our neighbour Dot. She thought I was going to knit Syed a big sock.."
"It's very kind of her, and I think you should. Better now, thank you.." Syed nestled closer.
"Can I draw on your cast?" Michael asked with a devilish grin.
"NO." Syed's response was firm. "I know you, you'll draw a cock on it."
Christian carefully balanced the contraption on the shelf beside him, and asked;
"Why didn't we get a cock postcard from Mauritius?"
"None of the buildings were tall enough. I was mostly on a beach with a very beautiful woman draped over me. I had to do modelling to pay my tax bill…"
"Oh you poor, poor soul. Is that why you're such a lovely colour? "
Pouting sulkily, Michael rubbed at the hairs on his shin.
"Some of it's fake, and some of it seems to be dirt from my Mum's garden.." He held up a grubby finger, showing where the tan had come off.
"…Honestly, it was horrifically dull. I was so bored I considered sleeping with the other model, even though she's the wrong sex, but then I noticed the rather delicious design assistant, and we kept each other amused."
"Ooh, what was his name?"
Syed sat up eagerly.
"Err, pretty?"
"You're rubbish, Michael. So it's all off with Rory? You know he came here.."
Michael fought away the sensation in his stomach at the mention of his name, a little sickly butterfly flutter that both enchanted and scared him. He dragged his hands down his face and sighed.
"It's all got a bit messy…"
"What did you do Michael?" Christian wagged his finger at him.
"What didn't I do? Well you know when I left here? And I'm so, so sorry about the state of me, I was a right arse…"
"Yes, you were, don't take any notice of Syed making those 'no, no, it's fine!' noises. Oh God!" Christian struck his forehead with his palm. "You didn't? Please tell me you didn't, you can't have, Sam would have been full of it…."
"Didn't what?" Syed looked at each of them, brow crinkled in bemusement, lines suddenly clearing as the penny dropped and his eyes opening wide. "Michael, you didn't?"
Michael began to pick guiltily at a loose thread on the duvet cover.
"If you ghastly pair are trying to find out if I did it with Sam and Steve, then no…"
He flushed slightly and turned his head away.
"Though it nearly happened, it was on the cards, Sam was well up for it. We were in the club and he was all over me, but I spotted someone by the bar. Amazing I could still see really, I was completely off my face again by then. A soldier, short and stocky, shaved head and tattoo's, told me he was away for a tour of duty the next day. Well, it seemed only right I should send him off into danger with something good to remember.."
"Something hot inside him? You're all heart.." Christian sniggered.
"I am! So Sam was getting very peeved by now, and all witchy and evil, I'm trying to fend him off and snog the soldier.."
"Did HE have a name?" Syed questioned, guessing correctly that Michael wouldn't be able to recollect it.
"Darren? Warren? Baron? Oh, I don't know, you pair of puritans. And then Steve suddenly made this awful noise, sounded like a dragon, as if he was growling 'Mavis' and Sam just stopped. Actually, I think the whole club stopped, possibly even time.."
Michael and Syed both jumped, startled, as Christian reproduced the sound.
"MEVYAP!"
"That's it! What the fuck does it mean?"
"It's Klingon for 'pack it in' apparently.." Christian explained. "..Sam's very keen on Star Trek, especially Captain Janeway, he has been known to dress up as her on occasions, it's the only way Ste can get through to him that he's going too far, and that he's had enough."
Syed's jaw had dropped in shock.
"But you nearly had an orgy.."
"Well, no, kind of, a little one.." A thought struck Michael and he sought reassurance from Christian.
".. So Steve didn't fancy me then?"
"Haaa! Michael, you're priceless. Of course he did, he probably did it for you, could see you were in no fit state to consent to anything Sam might want to do.."
Picking up the contraption, Christian prodded Michael in the chest with it.
"Don't worry, you're still irresistible. With the exception of Sy and me."
"And Rory.." Michael lifted his dark blue eyes to meet theirs, and thoughtfully traced the thin white scar above his lip.
"…So I took the soldier home, and the next morning, with my head banging and all my bones screaming in agony, I'm stumbling about the flat trying to think what a kettle looks like, and I notice I'd somehow managed to put my phone on charge. And Rory's sent me a message…" He felt a weight of sadness crush against his throat.
"What did it say, Michael?" Syed's kind, gentle voice made tears begin to prickle.
"It said; 'I'm worried about you, I miss you.'"
"That's a good thing isn't it?"
"Mmm, and amazing, coming from him. I suddenly get a massive guilt rush and wonder what the fuck I'm doing, remember who the fuck I was doing and go and get him out of my bed, thinking that's it, clean slate, day one of being worthy. And I'm stark bollock naked in the doorway, giving the poor boy a goodbye kiss, because I'm not completely heartless, I always kiss them afterwards, even if I can't remember their names, and the lift doors open and there's Rory. He's all stillness and style, with his hair thick and floppy, only two small spots of colour on those awesome cheekbones to reveal what he's really thinking. He presses the button, the doors slide shut, and he's gone…."
There was a short sympathetic silence, broken as Syed offered;
"You could explain?"
"What? That a strong freak wind had blown all his clothes off and the soldier was trying to keep him warm? Mind you, that's almost as good as some of your excuses, Ouch!" Christian rubbed his side where Syed had given him a rapid dig.
"I ran away to Mauritius, like a pathetic cowardly wuss. Oh I dunno, I come here, I see the two of you, how happy you are, how together, and I think, we could have that, me and him, that would be awesome. And then the minute I'm out in the world, I become penis for brains again.."
"Try a bit harder, Michael. Ring him, he loves you."
Michael did a double take of surprise at Christian's words.
"Does he? Do you think? Oh! Maybe I will, possibly, argh it's scary.. Thank you. I'd better go, Syed looks sleepy.." He smiled as Syed squinted and smothered a yawn, feebly protesting;
"No, it's fine, stay for dinner.."
"Take care of each other you two, I need you both to show me how it should be.." He held up his hand to stop Christian from rising to show him out.
"..and by the way, I'm off to Dubai next month, expect a postcard. Burj Khalifa building? I think you'll find it's my cock…"