Chapter 4

Coming Out

Andy's POV

We stood backstage, waiting for Pünk Rox to finish their set. I remained leaned against a nearby wall while the others did various things. Surprisingly, talking wasn't one of them. Playing tag around some forgotten tables and chairs was mostly what I was subjected to watching.

CC weaved around a metal chair, dodging Jinxx by a hair. Jake was in the process of cornering Ashley, who successfully slid over a table and made his escape. The guitarists were in pursuit of their individual targets before throwing a curveball and seemingly simultaneously targeting CC at the same time.

C was surrounded between Jake, Jinxx and a table. He was caught and out. Ashley was left and that didn't take long since he'd been using CC as a distraction so he could get away. CC was quicker, Ashley was a bit more graceful.

"Ha! Yes!" Jake cheered as he and Jinxx tagged the bass player.

"Cheaters..." CC grumbled , plopping down in one of the scattered chairs.

"I don't remember having made any rules to break." Jinxx said fancily to aggravate them. Ash scoffed incredulously, but he was smiling all the same. It did sort of look like fun, but I was thinking too hard to fuck around.

Thinking about what, is a bit embarrassing considering the amount of time I've put into thinking about it.

Chibi...

What the hell does that mean?!

Cute? Little? Baby?

I huffed involuntarily. I was driving myself crazy trying to figure it out.

"Don't hurt yourself." Jake smirked, joining me against the wall.

"What does Chibi mean?" I blurted out. Hey, if anyone knew, it was Jake. Him, Jess and Ethan talked incessantly.

He chuckled, shaking his head. "I see you're slitting your wrists over it. Must be important."

I fought against an eye roll.

"Do you know, or not?" I asked impatiently. Jake only smirked.

"Damn you, tell me!" I demanded childishly, which only served to make him laugh.

"Chill," He waved it off lazily. I glared.

"Alright," He held his hands up in surrender.

"If you'd look it up, I'm sure you'd get a basic idea, but it's not necessarily what Jess means." He began, "In retrospect, it means Tiny or Cutie."

Queue "duh!" moment.

That was so like Jesse, Skeeter could've guessed what it meant!

"Ah..." I think I had as close to an epiphany as I could get.

Jake laughed, noticing my skyward inflection. After he told me the obvious, I didn't blame him for finding my blonde moment funny.

"Well, now that the biggest mystery in the world has been solved..." He trailed off nodded in the direction of the stage as PR made their way toward us.

"I am mighty! Hear me roar!" Ethan threw his hands in the air.

"MEOW!" Jesse mewed cutely, then burst into giggles.

Adorable.

"Come here, Kitten," I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him from behind. He let out a small squeal of delight.

"Eck," Harper scoffed noncommittally from her corner in the room directly opposite mine.

"Oh, you're just pissed the ugly duckling's become a beautiful swan and you're just a lame yellow duck." Quincy teased, earning a smothered snicker from Heath, a mocking laugh from Ethan, a hyper cackle from Skeet, a glare from Jess at being called "ugly duckling" and a smirk from the rest of us.

His wording was just amusing.

"Bite me..." She hissed back.

"Ooh, bitch alert..." Quincy frowned.

Jesse groaned, rolling his eyes as he spun himself around in my arms and buried his face in my neck. Considering that's about all he could reach anyway.

I understood what the meant. Had it been voiced, he would've said "Just fuck and get it over with!".

The sexual tension between Quincy and Harper was so thick, you could cut with a knife and eat it. Granted, if you wanted to eat it. Eating sexual tension sounds like a bad idea. What if you got Herpes from it?

I inwardly smirked at the idiotic thought. I quickly flattened it.

The little voice that floated in and out like consciousness laughed at the display.

Why are you still here?

No answer.

Fine, fuck you.

Maybe I was a little crazy... I did bang up my head pretty good that time I broke my nose... Maybe I knocked something loose.

"Come on, quit shittin' off!" Jon clapped, getting all of our attention. He gestured to the stage, which was prepared for BVB's performance.

Jess sighed, hooking his hand around the back of my head and pulling me to his lips. I heard Jon groan in annoyance, causing Jake, Ethan and CC to laugh, which then made Jinxx, Ashley, Quincy and Skeeter laugh, thus making Heath chuckle, resulting in me being unable to control the smirk that spread across my face, nor Jess's giggle.

Ah... Family...

Jess kissed me quick and skipped off with Ethan and Quincy in tow. Skeeter vanished within seconds when something glimmered to the right of the room. And Heath was making himself at home next to Harper with a bottle whiskey he plucked from a cooler we kept backstage.

Jon fiercely grabbed my arm and practically threw me on stage, followed by Jake and CC while Jinxx and Ashley obediently trailed behind us. Jon was a tour manager, our tour manager, and for the time being, PR's tour manager, he was trying his best to make sure we did what needed to be done (as well as whatever other stragglers got caught in the whirlwind) and didn't get into too much trouble.

We had times to keep and Jon was basically our only way of keeping them.

I mean, Colleen, our assistant didn't bother since it was futile for her to try and get us moving. She wasn't as passively violent as Jon was. With him, we had that fear in the back our minds that he might take out some of his military training tactics on us. Again, anyway.

We learned that when Jon said "Now", he meant "Now!". We found that out the hard way. It wasn't that we were always difficult, or tried to make it hard on him, but in the mornings after being up the majority of the night playing the show and hanging out with fans, you tell me you jump out of bed on the drop of a dime.

After the show, I watched mutely as the rest of the guys headed out to meet with the fans. I hadn't worked up the nerve the face them yet. Not on Twitter, not face-to-face. I wasn't certain what the rest of my band was telling them, if they were confirming, denying or declining comment, but I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I just didn't have the balls to go out there.

I loved Jesse, that much was certain, but it was an...awkward situation that I had no idea how to deal with when it came to the public.

I know, it didn't really sound like me to think something through all the way, but I was thinking about not only how this would affect the fans (hopefully, not much, if at all), but how it would affect the band (they seemed... Pretty okay with it actually. It wasn't awkward tension, it was just accepted and basically tossed aside like it was something normal and casual, like telling someone how old you are. You note it down in your mind, but for the most part, pay no mind to it), and most importantly, how'd it affect Jess.

He didn't seem bothered, if he truly was, he hid it well. We didn't talk about it, but his band seemed to telepathically agree that it was best not to answer any questions regarding our relationship, which I was thankful for.

However, I was starting to get homesick. The fans meant so much. I knew I had to lay down my pride and suck it up. Jesse was my boyfriend, as odd a thought as it was for me, and I at least owed him as much to be honest with the people who support us.

"Chibi?" Jesse's quiet, worried voice brought me back to reality like flipping a switch.

"In retrospect, it means Tiny or Cutie."

Now looking back on Jake's words, I found it almost amusing.

Calling me "Tiny" was a bit... Humorous, to say the least.

Calling Jess "Tiny" was another matter.

"What, Kitten?" I liked that for him. Kitten. It fit. He was small, soft, and adorable. But he also had claws and teeth, and could use them, too.

"What's wrong?" He looked up at me with those wide, innocent mist-blue eyes. I melted on the spot.

I leaned down, gently touching our heads together. Jess let out a quiet sound that could've meant anything.

I loved that. It could've meant anything. But whatever it did mean was never revealed. Jesse had a way of doing things that left you guessing. It wasn't bad, in fact, he did them at just the right moments when you just really needed those lines blurred so it was impossible to find a clear answer. While at the same time, they directed you into a certain state; Brighter, darker, happier, sadder, lighter, heavier. There was still no clean-cut answer, but it gave you the general direction the answer was.

Lighter... Happier...

Then, it dawned on me.

I love you.

And just like that, nothing else mattered.

Not my foolish pride, or the lines, or the world.

No. With that one sound, he projected a whole message of content and love.

That mattered.

I straightened back up, new conviction settling into my shoulders. No more hiding.

"Chibi?" Jesse's normally timid voice sounded a bit startled.

"Let's go see the fans, baby." I offered him a small smile, which he only blinked frightfully at.

"Eh?" It could've been an attempt at "huh?" given the upward inflection, but he seemed rather frightened.

It surprised me a bit. He certainly wasn't shy on stage.

I could only guess that after the adrenaline rush wore off, his flamboyancy ebbed back into wherever he kept it stored away and was replaced by his usual sheepish, chary mannerism. No, he saved all that hyper boldness for us. The timid, shy Jess was what most people saw.

"It's okay, Kitten, I'm positive they think you're adorable." I reassured, which seemed to only scare him more.

But who didn't think Jesse was adorable?

He had big, innocent blue eyes, a small frame, soft skin, plush lips, a femininely-shaped baby-face, a mop of fluffy black hair with pink dye and shyness added with a cute face seemed to drive girls into a frenzy of "awes". No doubt, the girls would love him. And I didn't have to worry about any of them stealing him away from me either.

He was pretty in pink.

I smiled at that.

"God, you're so cute," I reached up to curl the rosy strands of his fringe around my fingers. His cheeks lit up with a blush of light pink.

"Hey, Andy!" Jinxx shouted through the door.

"Huh?" I responded nonchalantly, letting the roseate locks slip from my hand.

"You gotta see this! Come here!" He yelled back in a rush. It wasn't "rush" as in urgent or flustered, but "rush" as in excited, anticipating.

"Well?" I turned to my still lightly blushing boyfriend. It was a perfect excuse to get him out there.

"I- uh... I-I-..." He stuttered, which only lead to him flushing a deeper shade of rose.

"Come on," I leaned down to his level, letting the words coast gently over his face. He looked up into my eyes, cheeks deepening in color again. The cuteness level blew off the charts right then and there for me.

I closed the distance between our lips, slyly snaking my tongue into his mouth for a quick reestablishment of what was mine. Pulling away, I grabbed his hand and lead a still dazed Jesse towards the door.

There was a bit of perverse pride in getting to show him off. Light colors, like the lavender Pünk Rox! shirt he was wearing, really showed how graceful his figure truly was. It was lean and slightly curvy. Sensual, if you thought about it.

That coupled with pink bangs, black jeans, gloves and eyeliner, and his fuchsia Converse (not counting the line of colorful bracelets running up his arms) made him a hell of a sight to behold. He even went out of his normal zone of "Yeah, I'm wearing pink, so what?" with a light brush of pink eye shadow.

He was gay, he was flamboyant, and he was proud. And quite honestly, so was I.

"Oh shit...!" Jess jumped when we opened the door.

An involuntarily amused grin spread across my lips before I could even think to stop it.

"Oh. My. Shit." It took everything I had to not laugh.

There it was, the gayest, fluffiest, most colorful sign that's ever existed...on our bus.

GAY PRIDE 2012

FOREVER FREE TO STICK WHATEVER YOU WANT, WHERE EVER YOU WANT

Jess made some strangled snickering noises before just utterly bursting out laughing so hard he had to lean against the door frame to stop himself from toppling over.

That's going to stick with me for a while. Free to stick whatever you want, where ever you want.

It was a bit back-handed, but it was still purely comical and, in a slightly disturbed way, accepting. The aspect that stuck out the most was the names signed all over the huge piece of paper.

The fans names.

No, the sign wasn't judgmental, or meant to be derogatory, it was a fun way for everyone to say; They accepted us.

"Happy Gay Pride!" Ethan threw his hands in the air, followed by Skeeter and Harper, who mimicked the words and motion.

The crowd gathered in front of the bus followed suit.

"HAPPY GAY PRIDE!" I love our fans.

I took stock of everyone.

Heath was wearing the pinkest hat I'd ever seen, tipping it charismatically when I took notice. An entertained smile danced across his face. Jake and Jinxx were leaning on the railing, sporting matching necklaces with a metal rainbow on it.

Ashley was wearing a similar pink hat to the one Heath was wearing, along with the majority of the group gathered. Quincy had on a black jacket that had "Rainbows Are The Shit" scrawled across the back in rainbow colors. Ethan and Skeeter were wearing red and rainbow Pünk Rox! shirts, while CC was somehow persuaded into putting on a pink shirt with a big yellow sun on the front. Where it came from stood to reason that we would never find out in this life time.

Harper was dressed the girliest of all. I didn't think I'd ever see the day, but she was wearing a very pink skirt with a matching baby blue top that had a cute image of a smiling rainbow on it. Let's not leave out the rosy fishnet stockings and red mesh gloves.

Wow...

Once the initial "This is so fucking hilarious" wore off, it was replaced by stunned giddiness.

Just... Wow...

Whether anyone confirmed that Jess and I were dating or not didn't matter. Some asked anyway, so if they knew or were told, they could get a reliable answer from the source itself.

As surprising as it was, it was very easy for me to answer those questions.

"Yes. I don't know how it happened, but I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon." Perhaps a bit enigmatic, but I'd leave it to them to decipher it their own way.

Jesse was...beaming. He just looked so happy. There was a noticeable red tinge to his cheeks, but he was laughing and talking and smiling.

Happy.

I didn't realize I was smiling until someone pointed it out.

"That's so cute," A girl with shoulder-length black hair and forest green eyes was now standing in front of me.

"You look like you adore him," She observed sagely, smiling warmly. She had a slight British twang when she spoke, but it was very light, distant, but there.

"Yeah," I replied quietly, glancing back over my shoulder to catch the blinding grin on Jesse's face to something a couple of girls said.

"Um..." She dragged out a bit awkwardly, regaining my attention.

"My name's Lily," She stuck out her hand, which was unusual for our fans. Most of the time it was a hug and a request to sign something.

"Andy," It felt weird telling her my name, since she clearly knew who I was, but I didn't know how else to respond.

"I really love both bands, you're both so awesome!" She fawned a bit, grinning and finding my introduction irreproachable. I'm pretty sure, anyway.

"Thanks, we appreciate your love of our awesomeness." I smirked in return. She let out a bubbly hyper laugh.

That reminded me of someone...

On instinct, I turned to see Skeeter chatting animatedly with some people.

Skeeter holding a conversation. Not necessarily rare. He wasn't bright, but he wasn't exactly stupid like everyone believed, either. He just acted extremely dumb and his hyper-resulted ADHD didn't help. If you could get him to calm down, he proved to hold a pretty interesting conversation. He was funny and relaxed when he wasn't bouncing off the walls.

"Uh... He's not... Is he...? Um... Is... You know... Skeeter playing for the left field?" Lily asked, again with the awkwardness.

Left field... OH!

"Oh, uh, no, I don't think so." I told her. This resulted in me wondering where bisexuals fell on the "baseball field".

Maybe not as random as you think. I wasn't completely turned off girls, but I was beginning to see guys in a new light that I never expected to see them in.

"Oh, good!" She grinned that hyper, I'm-about-to-explode smile again.

"Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, of course!" She quickly corrected what she saw as a mistake but I barely even noticed.

"You, uh, like the dope?" I pointed over my shoulder, waving off her apology.

She smiled shyly, but it was a sly contradiction.

"Oh, I don't know...maybe," she shrugged giggly.

An idea popped into my head.

"Hey, Skeet!" I called over my shoulder.

The brunette made his way over to us, jumping into place beside me.

"Skeeter, this is Lily, she thinks your awesome." I patted him on the back and gave her a knowing smile before I left them to introductions, and hopefully, a shot at the feeling I felt when I was with Jess.

"Hey, Kitten," I slid in beside him to lean against the rail. I hadn't thought about it and the "Kitten" just kind of came out on its own.

The girls fawning over Jess awed.

"They're always gay or taken..." One of the girls complained.

"Hey, for me, it's 'They're always straight or taken'." Jess interjected, he then corrected himself, "Well...that's the way it used to be anyway."

"If they were all gay, they'd I'd be in trouble, wouldn't I?" I commented idly.

"Why? 'Cause then they'd all be taken. Were you not listening to my logic?" Jess teased, beaming. I smiled back.

"I don't know if that's logic, more just a simple case of the-early-bird-gets-the-worm." I figured. Jess blinked blankly, taking into account that I may have just proven that "They're always so-so or taken is logic" theory wrong.

"Huh..." Jess gazed up at me with stunned, nearly blank eyes. Almost like he had to shut down and reboot all that he knew to account for this new information.

"I've had a lot of time to think..." I muttered my answer to the question that I knew was coming.

"I know Chibi, but screwing with simple logic will get you nowhere." So maybe I spoke too soon on his theory.

I couldn't help the bubble of laughter that rose in my chest. This boy was a mystery that was certainly going to be the death of me.

But I couldn't help loving him to that death, either.

Inspiration struck me like a match on concrete. This was born in less than five hours. *grin*

If you want to know what Jesse's eyes look like, I have the picture on Wattpad. I can't link, but just go to the site. No need for registration. Just type in my name in Wattpad's search bar (UnforeseenUndeniable), press search, then at the top will be an option to search people, click that one and I'm the only author that will come up. I don't know how it will work for those on a phone or iPod, but I hope you can figure it out with the desktop instructions I've given. Just click my name when you find me and scroll down to my stories, PR is at the top and the first chapter is where I've posted the pic for Jesse's eyes.

What do you guys think of this chapter? Like? Don't like? I thought it would be very -us-. I mean if one of our favorite band member's revealed they were gay, wouldn't you still support them? How about in a way that really caught the eye and let everyone know you're favorite band member's lifestyle didn't change how you felt about them or their music and that you accepted them openly and happily?

And what do you guys think of Lily? Do you think her and Skeeter will make a good couple in the future for our side-series?

Review!