Title : Hallucinations
Author : Nemainofthewater
Disclaimer : I don't own anything you recognise. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins.
Chapter 4
The silence is all-consuming, and it stifles the air, and makes any words that they want to say dry in their throats so not to break it.
"I can't believe that you shot me." Said Portia, finally, shattering the spell that compelled them to keep silent.
"I can't believe that you're alive." said Cinna. "What happened? Why are you here? I thought that you were dead. It was the first thing that I asked! How long have you been here? Why didn't you tell…"
He was cut off by Portia's finger on his lips.
"I know you have a lot of questions," she breathed, "But considering that you're trying to avoid Katniss, I don't think that we should have this conversation here when she has her test today."
"Come with me."
The two stylists crossed the Block, and went out through the back, but they didn't stop, merely continued onwards until they reached the apartment that Cinna was sharing with Venia, deep underground.
The door closed besides them, and Cinna led Portia to his bed, and they both sat down.
"Listen to me. No, I'm not dead. I'm here because I was imprisoned in the Capitol to blackmail Peeta into cooperating. When District 13 raided the city, they found and freed me. I didn't tell you that I was here because I didn't know that you weren't dead. "
"What do you mean that you didn't know that I wasn't dead?" asked Cinna quietly.
"You weren't with us in the cells. I didn't know where you were, and eventually Snow told us that you were dead."
"Snow told you that I was… Hold on. What do you mean us Portia?"
"Some of the other stylists. They supported you Cinna. You were their idol, and they were all taken when you disappeared."
Cinna flinched slightly, and he turned away. He didn't want people sacrificing themselves for him. He didn't want people getting pulled off the streets of the Capitol for him, and he definitely didn't like what he suspected what Portia had gone through because of him. Because they were friends and she was his fellow stylist for District 12.
"Don't do that," said Portia softly. "Don't tell yourself that it's your fault, as if we couldn't make up our minds about anything. It isn't because of you. I fully support the destruction of the Capitol, and I have since before we met."
Cinna looked back at her, green eyes weary, and he clearly wanted to contest what she had said, but he kept quiet.
"Why haven't you been to see Peeta?" he finally asks, then immediately knows that it was the wrong thing to say as Portia's face tightened.
"I can't."
"Why not? I'm sure that knowing that you're fine and here with him will help."
"But it won't. He hates me."
Cinna sat by her for a moment.
"Snow brainwashed him. He hates you because Snow brainwashed him."
"He thinks that all I wanted to do was make an impression as a stylist. That I hated having District 12 and that I was conspiring with Katniss against him."
Cinna didn't say anything, but started to rub her back softly and she leaned into him and closed her eyes.
"I could go and talk to him,' he offers, "Snow mightn't have thought to edit his memories of me."
"Thank you," she whispers back.
He knows that it's right when she buries her head in his shoulder, and they just hold each other for hours.