Disclaimer: If it is not obvious, the characters used in this piece of fanfiction belong to someone else. There. I said it. Now try and sue me.
Authors rant: I am tremendously disappointed! No one had even a guess where Hanabi's zakks came from! No one! Come on people! At least try to figure it out! But other than that I got lots of positive responses which is always nice. As to some possible concerns: Kyubi's chakra (which is only in Naruto) will only be used as a last resort. That means don't bother asking me to show him using it. He's more than capable of fighting without it, even in cannon when no one taught him anything. Naraku on the other hand, who is weaker than his brother (talks like he's stronger, but he ain't) will need to rely on his last resort (his sword) more but like his older brother it won't happen very often. So here's the next chapter, please enjoy!
And so time passes. The rookie genin perform more D-rank missions and all is well. Not much of a story if that doesn't change soon, ne? Kakashi was lazily walking home. His apartment was going to be a welcome sight after this day. Most notably due to the complete and utter absence of a certain individual. Yes, today was the day Gai had discovered what had befallen Kakashi while testing his genin. Never had Konohagakure no Sato heard such laughter. Then there was the fact Gai followed Kakashi all day reminding him every chance he got.
'Thank kami-sama I finally lost him. He hasn't been this annoying since we were chunin'
After walking up the stairs and down the hall to his apartment, Kakashi was ready for some peace and quiet. What he got was anything but. The wrath of the Uzumaki had come with a vengeance.
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The next day team seven reported to the Hokage tower to undergo missions, as Kakashi was absent. On their way to their mission Sakura voiced her concern.
"What could have happened to Kakashi-sensei?"
"It doesn't matter. Let's just get this mission over with"
"But Sasuke-kun, what if-"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! They worked even better than I thought!"
Interrupted by Naruto, Sakura demanded to know what he meant. After the mission ended it was determined that their sensei had been hospitalized and was undergoing treatment for psychological trauma. Upon interrogation by Sakura Naruto confessed to pranking Kakashi; lacing all his masks with sneezing powder, replacing his clothes with women's lingerie, placing a stink bomb behind every door in his apartment (fridge, cabinet and closet but not the front door), plastic wrap covering the toilet, fish sticks inside the bedposts and last but not least swapping the interior pages of Kakashi's entire Icha Icha collection with pictures of scantily clad men in suggestive poses. Sakura nearly throttled Naruto on the spot but he was saved when one of the nurses came by and said it was Kakashi's fault he didn't notice any of the pranks until he woke up that morning.
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It was a quiet evening; cloudless and cool, perfect for a moon viewing. Naraku was at the Hyuga compound sitting next to Hanabi and drinking tea, the two of them enjoying the view until Hanabi's bedtime.
"Nice evening, isn't it Hanabi-chan?"
"Hai"
Her curt answer made Naraku wince internally as he sipped his tea.
'Talkative little thing isn't she?'
"Why don't you ever take me out on a date?"
Nearly choking on the tea Naraku comically dropped his cup and sprung up from his seat.
"Well?"
"Currently choking here, try again later"
"I'm being serious here Naraku-kun!"
Finally clearing his throat Naraku sat back down. Casting his gaze toward his young iinazuke he saw her irritation.
"If you feel so strongly about it then we can go out. Anywhere you want to go"
"Hmph. No. I don't want to anymore"
"Eh, nani?"
"I don't want you to go out with me if you feel like you have to"
"I er wha-? You are a very confusing young lady, you know that?"
"That's because you're a stupid boy"
"And you happen to be very frustrating"
"I am not!"
"Yes you are"
"I am not!!"
"You know the way your nose scrunches up when you're mad is really kawaii"
Naraku smiled at Hanabi as she blushed. He chuckled a little when Hanabi tried to keep her argument going only to open her mouth and not be able to form words. Finally fed up with him Hanabi starts hitting Naraku with her seat cushion. Naraku then stood up, stealing the cushion and holding it above Hanabi's head. With a cry of "Tenchu!" Hanabi zakked him. Hidden from view some of the older members of the Hyuga clan watched the antics of the young couple and shared a few laughs.
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"C-rank mission time!!"
Unheeding the aghast looks on his teammates faces Naruto makes a triumphant pose. The Hokage groaned. Was this really better than paperwork? Iruka addressed the boy first.
"Naruto! Just saying that doesn't qualify you for a C-rank mission! You're all just genin and rookie genin at that and-"
"Blah blah blah. I know that already! I just want a mission and not have to do some lazy person's chores!"
Acting quickly, the Sandaime makes his move.
"Very well. I have a low C escort mission to Nami no Kuni. How's that?"
"Alright! My first C-rank! Woohoo!"
"Hokage-sama!"
Waving off Iruka for the time being the Sandaime sent team off to prepare.
"Why did you do that Hokage-sama? They aren't ready for a mission of that level"
"I noticed Kakashi didn't voice any concerns about his team not being ready. If he had I might have reconsidered. But look at it this way; now they will get a taste of what real ninja life is like. And get him out of our hair for a few weeks"
Aoba and team nine come in. Before anyone else can speak Naraku begins.
"With all due respect Hokage-sama, I request my team receive a C-rank mission for the following reasons; one-"
"Not you too! You aren't ready for-"
"Iruka-sensei, if you would let me finish? Thank you. Now back to what I was saying; my team is not ready for a higher ranked mission. I know this. But they refuse to train harder than they are now, leaving them at an only just acceptable level of ability. My reasoning is that after exposure to a higher risk situation they would realize their shortcomings and rectify them"
"You jerk! You just insulted me didn't you?"
"Yoshida you are useless in every manner possible. I couldn't insult you more than you insult yourself just by being who you are"
As the kunoichi threw herself at Naraku Momotaro held her back. Aoba tried to apologize for his teams actions Iruka began lecturing Naraku who ignored him in favor of looking directly at the Hokage. Sarutobi rubbed his temple. Those Uzumaki were going to be the death of him. Nevertheless team nine left the tower that day with their own C-ranked mission: delivering a package to a small mining village called Katabami Kinzan.
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It was a pleasant day, not a cloud in the sky. Team seven was well on their way to Nami no Kuni and to his credit Tazuna wasn't insulting them too much. Passing a puddle next to the road, Naruto did a double take.
"Ano sa, Kakashi-sensei…"
"Relax Naruto. The worst we'll face on this mission is some bandits"
Leaning in to avoid the puddles line of sight Kakashi continued in a hushed whisper.
"But good spot. Get ready in case they decide to act"
"Hai"
Straightening back up Kakashi waited for the inevitable attack. He didn't have to wait long, as the two kiri nin flew out at him and ensnared him with their bladed chain. Their next target was Naruto. They materialized behind the orange clad genin ready to strike.
"One down"
"Three to go"
"I don't think so!"
Suddenly Naruto vanished, leaving the kiri nin's open to his attack.
"Fuuton Daitoppu!"
A wall of air slammed into the surprised nin, hurtling them away from the others. Sasuke, not to be outdone let fly with a Goukyaku no jutsu. The nin both dodged only for them to be caught by Kakashi.
"Maa maa. Aren't these two friendly?"
"Kakashi-sensei! You're alive!"
Going to comfort Sakura did make the girl feel better, but did not diminish the fact that she had been frozen as soon as the fight started. The group continued on their way leaving Sakura lost in thought.
'It wasn't just the genin test this time. We could have really died, and I did nothing! I have to get stronger. I can't stay looking at their backs forever!'
Yes, young and not so young readers, she blossoms now, instead of when it was too late to matter. Coughchuninexamchough.
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"This is so boring! Why couldn't we do something else? A D-rank mission would be over by now!"
"I swear if you don't shut up I'll kill you"
Aoba sighed. Couldn't his genin ever get along? At least one of them was quiet; Momotaro rarely spoke up unless talked to. Suddenly a crash was seen in front of them. Two scrawny bandits pointed daggers at the ninja.
"Stop right there!"
"Your money or your life!"
Nanami and Momotaro freeze. Aoba assesses whether he should interfere or not. Naraku smirks.
"Amusing. You think you can defeat me?"
"We ain't playin' kid! Now cough up the dough!"
"I think…not"
In a blur of motion the two ill-fated bandits fell. Both clearly dead. Being the first dead bodies they had ever seen, Naraku's teammates were dismayed. Aoba grit his teeth.
"Flawless victory"
"That was excessive Naraku"
"Whatever. We have a schedule; let's stick to it"
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"That bridge is huge!"
"Urusai Naruto! We're trying to be stealthy here"
"Ah. Gomen"
"Stupid little gaki"
The other occupants of the small skiff were not thrilled with the display. We're they trying to annoy everyone?
"I'll let you guys off through the mangroves. No one should spot us there"
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And still more walking for team nine.
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A little ways into the forest on the way to Tazuna's house Naruto abruptly throws a kunai into the bushes.
"Oi, usuratonkachi, stop making yourself look like an idiot"
"Someone was there!"
"But Naruto, it's just a rabbit"
Sakura went to check on the rabbit as Kakashi subtly checked for enemy presence.
'A white snow rabbit in summer? Obviously kawarimi…What?'
"Everybody down!"
Kakashi punctuated his cry by pulling Tazuna to the ground with him. Zabuza's zanbatou embedded itself in a tree, providing its owner a place to stand.
"Well well. Sharingan no Kakashi, said to have copied over 1000 jutsu. I'll be taking the old man if you don't mind"
"I doubt that. But if it's you I'm fighting, I'll need this"
Pulling up his crooked hitai-ate to reveal his hidden eye, Kakashi ordered his students into a defensive formation.
"Shall we get started?"
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Does anyone know the definition of a running gag? Here's an example:
Team nine was still walking.
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'Well shit'
Kakashi was having an off day. Outsmarted by Zabuza he found himself trapped in his Suirou no jutsu and his students decided to take his advice on teammates and not save themselves.
"A second shurikan hidden in the shadow of the first? Not bad, but not good enough"
Zabuza confidently hopped over the projectile. Which as soon as it passed him poofed into Naruto.
"Wanna bet no-brows?"
'Well I'll be damned. They pulled it off. Now to finish this'
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Okay I admit I'm doing this so I can skip the majority of the first Zabuza fight. Nothing really changes so it doesn't matter. The same can be said for team nine's excursion to this point. But don't worry; next chapter has more action in it. This was a set up chapter.
Konogakure no Sato Village hidden in the Leaves (has anyone else noticed that Konoha is the only village that has a name more then 2 syllables long?)
Nami no Kuni Wave country
Katabami Kinzan Let's try the cookie thing again. Guess why this village was chosen! And I really will send you a cookie!
Maa maa In this context it roughly translates to 'Now, now,..' an expression typically used to quiet rowdy children
Urusai Shut up
Gomen sorry
Zanbato Horse slaying sword; rarely used in history due to size and weight but it is an actual weapon and not made up
Hitai-ate forehead protector
Jutsu learned/used
Fuuton Daitoppu Wind release Great breakthrough; same jutsu used by Orochimaru to split up team seven in the Forest of Death. B-rank
Suirou Water prison; creates ball of water that holds a person inside C-rank