AN: Yes, I'm aware that this chapter took about two years before I posted it. It's been done for quite sometime, I have just been too lazy to bother uploading it.

After seeing more slash fanfiction lately, I kinda decided I should get off my ass and update this finally.

Please review if you have any suggestions for me. This is my first actual published fanfic. And if you see any issues with spacing, let me know too. For some reason every time I uploaded this, it removed the spaces from every word I typed.

So, our journey now takes our three teens aboard an alien ship. The three of them woke up in a large dark room.

"Where the hell are we?"

Eddy walked into a wall while saying this.

A small light turned on above them, like a spotlight.

Edd looked at Eddy who was getting off the floor after falling down.

"I believe we are in the Grey's cargo bay. They're taking us to our ship."

Eddy moaned.

"I'm still can't believe I can't remember this shit."

Ed looked at the other two Eds.

"I forgot this room. Tell us Double-D the story to Eddy now."

"Yeah, tell me. What the fuck is going on?"

Double-D sighed and sat down on a nearby crate.

"Lights on, please."

The room became fully lit. It was a galley like room with a bar and a couch in it. A window nearby showed stars flying by the ship at an insane pace.

"Hmm... This must be their galley lounge room..." he said out loud.

Double-D sat in the couch and another chair appeared. The other two Eds found a place to sat and sat down. Eddy sat down next to Double-D and gave him an intimidating look.

Edd gave another sigh again.

"Can you explain why I can't remember anything?" Eddy asked.

"You told them that you wanted a fresh mind before you made a final decision. They took that comment literally and erased both you and Ed's minds. However it seems that Ed's mind was somewhat resistant to the mind erasing."

Eddy turned to Ed.

"Hey lumpy, how much do you remember?"

Ed paused and thought for a bit.

"All of it. Double-D told us not to say anything, so I didn't. Not even to baby sister."

Eddy sighed.

"Figures shit like that would happen."

"Anyways...this began with..." Edd said.

...Flashback:

An alien spacecraft landed in the junkyard.
Out of fear, the three of them are frozen in place, scared shitless. A hatch on the ship opens revealing three figures. One looks like a person, shadow wise. The other has some tentacles, and the last figure looks like a combination of the two.
As the figures come walking towards them, Double D takes off his hat and waves at the three of them. Ed and Eddy are just stand there stiff as boards. They don't know which to look at, Double-D's hatless head or the three aliens walking down the ramp. As the brightness from the light fades, the alien with tentacles walks by Double-D and then like he knows him, slaps him on the back.

"Eddward, how's it been?"
Eddy looked at these aliens.
"Holy fuck! That looks like Kevin, Nazz and Sarah!"
"Oh no!" Ed yelled. "They're alien counterparts of our dear friends here to suck our brains!
"No, Ed, Kevin is not our friend. That douche just tried to kill us earlier."

The three aliens walked down a platform taking them off the ship and looked at the three Eds, who were all standing in fear... With the exception of Double-D who seemed a bit angry.

"You. You assholes! Why are you back? Are you going to experiment on me again? What's next, increase my penis size?"
"Nope. Something better. How have you been anyways?"
He smiled. "I have been just great."
He points to Ed and Eddy.
"These are my two friends, Ed and Eddy. What exactly brings you back around Earth?"
"Hello Ed and Eddy, and, well..." the alien grey skinned alien that looked like Kevin said. "We completed our survey of your species and culture and came up with our conclusion."
The mixed alien that looked like Sarah turned to Double-D.
"One more thing, Eddward, why are you angry at us? We granted your dream true of having superior intelligence, what's wrong with that?"
"You damaged the skin on my head and deformed my skull! I have to wear this sock hat to avoid being humiliated by the kids my age. ..."

He paused.

"I wish it was normal."
The blonde haired alien looked at Edd's head and ran one of her 8 tentacles through his hair. Edd started feeling a bit relaxed, almost like she set a spell on him.
"I believe we have the ability to fix that for you now. But we came to offer you and your two friends a chance in a lifetime."
"And... what would that be?"

"We couldn't help overhearing that you guys want to travel to space. We were also kinda curious too how a human would be able to handle interacting with alien cultures... Mainly because we think now after studying your species a bit that it is now time that we make official contact with your race and introduce them to the rest of the galaxy"
The male alien then interrupted the blonde Nazz like alien with tentacles.
"That and we are sick of blocking your study equipment with bogus information. We believe that your species' deep space satelite will find a freighter here in a few months... So now is the time to decide. Are you guys up to it?"

Ed, after listening to this, began, oddly enough to think.
"No more Sarah? No more pain? Yes! I will live my dream!"
"We will accept! It's my dream come true! Being a space outlaw!" Ed said.

Eddy got a little angry at this.

"Hell no! There's no profit in it!"
"Why? You can make a profit. There is lot of money in freight transport. However, the money will be useless until after first contact."
"You can always invest it and double the earnings so in five years when humans start to leave you can be rich..."
"Five years? I'm in!"
Double-D looked like he was about to make a sarcastic remark.
"Boy Eddy, you sure give in easily when you hear the word cash..."
The aliens in a chorus began to say the same thing at the same time oddly enough.
"Well come inside before one of your spy satellites detects us"

The Eds entered the ship and the hatch closed. It flew away.

###
The aliens and the Eds are sitting at a table.
"Your people have great potential. Which is why we want to do this experiment with you guys"
"But why as an experiment?"
"We want to take a few humans and let them out into the wilderness and urbanity of the galaxy and see how people react to them."
"Seeing the reports about you and your friends, we kinda decided on using you three. All initial and medial expenses paid. Think of it as a repayment for burning your head on that mind reader. We learned our lesson with that."
Eddy looked more clueless.
"Uh I think I really need a fresh mind to think this over. This is a lotta shit to think about."
"Eddy, don't swear. I wouldn't mind. I would love to be one of the first humans to travel interstellar space ."
"So, it settles it. We will take you to a place that builds and sells ships. They're custommade though, so you guys gotta think on what you want."
"Look in Monobrow's head there. He has the most ideas."
the six of them walked up the ramp then into the space craft and it took off. Meanwhile, a figure stood on a pile of trash looking down at what just happened.
###
As the ship traveled to some space station, the Eds were sitting in a control room. Ed was strapped to a chair in the middle.
"Oh boy! This is just like in the movie 'Abductions of Joah on the Planet Zeeke'! Exactly like the scene where Joah gets his mind probed by policemen for a crime he didn't commit!"
"Well Ed seems excited." Eddy said with a bit of a tone of sarcasm."
"Your friend had it much worse. Okay Ed, this is gonna be a pit painful when this machine turns on."
The alien pushed a button and a loud hum started going on in the entire room.
Ed was laughing the entire time.
"ah ha ha ha ha! This tickles!" He laughed some more.
On a nearby screen, various schematics for spaceships that came from various B movies appeared. The schematics kept appearing faster and faster as smoke began to bellow from the thing attached to his head. After about a minute of smoke, the thing exploded.
"Holy barknots! He overloaded the reader! This guys mind is filled with a lot of garbage!"
"Same goes with his coat."
Ed pulled a bottle of gravy from his coat and chugged it in one gulp. The alien looked repulsed.
"Are all humans like this?" One of the aliens asked.
"Nope, he is just Ed."
A hammer and a wrench later and the machine was fixed again. The aliens studied some of the schematics.
"The people who make these movies must be geniuses! Warp drive, the bending of time and space? Hyperregenerative power generators? Flux capacitors? HyperactiveMegaDrive?" The alien scribbled a lot of these designs on paper.
"Koay Humans, the design is ready."
the alien shoved a tablet in Double-D's face.
"Hmm... It's magnificent! Thank you Ed."
"No problem buckaroo." He said while eating a gravy cupcake. Two of the aliens cringed at this sight.
"Let me try one of those" the remaining alien said. Ed handed it to him and he ate it.
"Wonderful. It reminds me of the clam feces on Riso."
The rest of them, Edd and Eddy included began puking on the floor while the alien and Ed ate gravy cupcakes.

-End Flashback-

"So.." Eddy said. "Then what?"

"Well that was about it. We went to a planetary market and had schematics used to construct a real ship. I'm so amazed that they were really practical."

Eddy turned to Ed who was sitting upside down in the chair.

"Well you're good for something."

"We agreed that Ed was the pilot, you're the captain, and I do the research required for the greys by keeping a journal. They also embedded chips in our left hands to help us with monitoring... Its a small price to pay to be the first humans in space. "

Eddy got up and looked out the window.

"So where are we going?"

"The ship. It is a day trip at this rate we are going. I think we should rest."

Double-d looked at a watch that came out of nowhere.

"According to my watch. Its 10PM. I took forever to talk. We should go to sleep."

The Eds found spots in the room to fall asleep and did.

###

Double-D woke up a couple hours later by the aroma of food. The red haired alien was at the counter across the room preparing something. She saw Edd.

"Did I wake you up?"

Edd walked down and a stool came out of the counter to sit down. He sat.

"No, I naturally wake up early. What is that?"

"It is..."

A non-understandable sound came from the alien's mouth.

"..a common lunch food for my people. You have to understand, our days are 3 of your days long. So it's our lunch now."

"Um how many times do you eat a day?" Edd asked

"We have 11 meals a day, two of those are large meals while the others are small appetisers. We are having Megalunch is in 6 of your hours. We still have a while until we reach the shipyard still... So you can eat with us."

"Megalunch?"

The alien walked over to Edd and picked up his left hand.

"The chip we implanted into your hand translates alien words and converts them to the language you think in... However the chip is not really accurate still... It'll take words with the closest meaning to whatever someone says and give you that. The only other problem is words that it can't translate, it'll just give you them in the native language. The meal I am preparing is one example. It is a dish only native to our home planet."

Edd stared at his hand.

"Fascinating..."

Eddy fell off the chair and woke up as he fell to the ground. He looked up and saw something cooking.

"What's cooking?"

The alien looked at eddy and squawked the word that Eddy could not understand."

Edd looked at Eddy.

"Our chips in our hand also translate alien languages. Apparently the dictionary could not find a word to translate that to. We can also speak in other languages... However, we never will notice this really."

"I wish I had this in French class..."

"I concur Eddy."

"Eddward, come with me. We are going to fix our mistake with your skull and epidermal."

Edd had a nice smile on his face.

"Yes! Hurray!" Double-D seemed very excited about this.

The alien and Edd walked out. Eddy walked over to a screen that resembled a TV and pressed the large button. It turned on exactly like a TV... Basically because it was an alien TV. On the screen was what seemed to be an alien soap opera.

"Oh Miaoshi, I love you so much... We should not part ways until we conduct the zeebleox."

Eddy looked at the TV.

"...What the fuck is a zeebleox?"

The alien eating lunch ran to the TV.

"Eddy! You're watching Snorek and Mioshi? I love this show!"

The alien jumped on the couch butt first, landing on Ed.

It partially woke him up.

"oof!"

The alien looked at ed.

"Sorry, Singlebrow."

"Singlebrow? Ahahha!" Eddy laughed

"Hey redheaded alien, what is a zeebleox?"

The redheaded grey skinned alien laughed in a odd manner, like a hyena.

"It's that species mating ritual. They suck on each others shoulders and the saliva from the male meets with the egg in the females stomach. In a few days, she will throw up the fertilized egg and then watch it until it hatches."

Eddy's face turned purple and he ran off to what looked like a bathroom to puke.

Ed, still sitting under the alien looked amazed.

"It just is like every comic alien I know is true! Is there a planet Fezon with bacon men?"

"Yes Ed, but they are warlike, however, nearly extinct because their children taste wonderful."

"Cool."

###

Sometime later...

The two remaining eds were still sitting in front of the TV eating something that looked like a pizza.

"Oh man." Eddy said. "This shits better than human TV. Its way more entertaining."

The red headed alien walked back into the room.

"Are you guys still watching that thing?

"Yes.." both Eds said in unison.

"Well Eddward has had his procedure finished. He will be out in a few minutes."

Eddy got up.

"Say, what is on this ship for entertainment?"

The alien smiled.

"What you have been in front of. We are a species of curiosity. We have fun learning about cultures so we spend our time doing that."

"Boring."

The alien laughed.

"Our species also loves to see your mating rituals... Because it is like all the other ones in the universe mostly."

Eddy snickered.

Anyways... We are almost there. You guys adjusted to our days just fine.

The alien started to walk out the room and paused.

"Oh, by the way, we had to erase the memories of two of your neighbours because they found out about us. Just a warning."

The alien then walked out.

"Like we care." said Eddy.

Double-D walked into the room, sans hat. He had a smile on his face.

"So what have you two been doing?"

"Watching TV."

"Why have you guys been watching TV all day?"

"It's actually been a week. You were in the recover tube all this time."

"But still... TV?"

Ed perked up.

"We have been watching TV to learn about alien cultures!"

"Uh, yeah, what Ed said."

"Have you guys though about what the kids in the cul de sac are thinking now?"

"Yeah once Double-D. I don't think they miss us."

###

In the culdesac...

Jimmy wakes up and gets out of bed.

"Hurray! Another day without the Eds!"

Jimmy gets dressed and runs outside.

The kids are having a party... All of them are having fun. But Kevin is missing.

At his house he is on the floor on his knees. A figure is standing over him.

"I have rebuilt your house and restored everything... However still, if you want to live, you must terminate the Eds."

"Dude why? What did they do?"

"They haven't done it yet."

The figure points at Kevin and Kevin instantly catches fire.

"Ahhhhhh!"

"SLAVE! You will do as I say!"

"Where... Where are they?"

"They are in space."

"No way"

"You will find them at Market-Station 21. Terminate them."

"How the fuck do I..."

"There is a ship in the woods. Take it. This parasite will help you become one of mine..."

The figure knocks Kevin over and shoves a snake like creature up his nose.

Kevin begins to scream, almost like a little girl.

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Bawah bawhah bawhah... Soon, the galaxy will be mine!"

Who is this person? Why is Kevin a slave? Find out next time on
Eds in Space!