Thank you for the kind comments so far. This chapter got a little out of hand. I briefly debated writing the second half again and posting a fuller version as an M rating but let me know if you think it needs it.

I have tried several times to put the page breaks in but didn't realise they weren't showing up. Hope it works this time.

Part Four

1

Mrs Patmore placed the handful of new potatoes in the small basket and closed the lid. She pursed her lips, seemingly considering something, and crossed the kitchen to the stove, opening the door and lifting out the baking sheet. Lifting the lid she placed the freshly baked goods on top of the rest of the food. "So you'll have a little pie, some potatoes and some of the tarts I made this morning. That should keep you both going till supper. Will you have something to cook on?"

Bates thanked her for the second time and picked up the basket. "Yes, everything is already in place.

"Then why the hell aren't you living there? she thought but for once decided to keep her thoughts to herself. She really couldn't fathom why they were still sleeping in separate beds when they had a perfectly good cottage down the lane. It wasn't that he no longer loved Anna, because clearly every time he looked at his wife there was overwhelming devotion in his eyes. Anna, for her part, was desperately in love with her husband, willing to sacrifice everything for him, endure everything life threw at her. The only person who had deemed to question the current living arrangements had received short shrift not only from Anna but from Mr Carson too. She supposed rightly it was none of their business but it didn't stop them wondering. In some ways it was nice that they were all still living together under the same roof, it was almost like the world hadn't changed, almost. "I won't be able to do this when you move out," she said mock-sternly.

"Well, maybe we'll live on love alone," John mused, a wry smile crossing his lips at her sudden fluster. The basket, laden with lunch, resting over his good arm, he headed towards the servants hall in search of his wife. He found her, dressed in her good skirt and coat, standing in the doorway to the housekeepers sitting room. For a moment he was transported back to his wedding day and a smile quirked at his lips at the memory of her in the same outfit promising to love him whatever. They had surely endured whatever so far.

"Ah, Mr Bates," came a familiar Scottish brogue. "We were just wondering where you had disappeared to."

"Picking up lunch." He indicated the wicker basket with his free hand.

Elsie Hughes rose to her feet, making her way to join them in the hallway. She glanced between the two of them, noting the slight smiles and endearing glances they shared and inwardly sighed happily. "Well don't worry about rushing back. I can take care of the young ladies and Thomas can help his Lordship for one night." Although Thomas' idea of helping usually came with conditions and a sanctimonious smile, but as much as it pained her she would accept it this once, and if he was particularly cocky she could always leave him to Mr Carson. Charles was more than aware of what was at stake.

Anna smiled graciously, his eyes drifting warmly to her husband, "I'm sure that won't be necessary. We're just going to have lunch and potter in our garden."

"The offer is there," Elsie insisted, her hand reaching out to gently squeeze the younger woman's arm.

"Thank you, Mrs Hughes," John said, taking a step back from the women, indicating that it was time to go.

Anna reached out and removed the basket from his arm, before taking his free hand in her own, interlacing their fingers as they headed down the corridor to the back door.

While they had separately inspected the quaint two bedroom cottage that was to be their home, they had not as yet toured it together. It would be their first time. She hoped that being alone would restore the ease with which they once communicated and possibly ignite the passion that had been lacking since his return. John prayed that spending quality time would allow them to escape the endless scrutiny they seemed to be under and for him to prove his worthiness to her. They both hoped it would be the first of many visits until they could take up permanent residence.

Spring had finally transformed into Summer over the previous few days, rain and looming clouds giving way to a cerulean sky. It was the perfect afternoon for being outside. They walked in silence for the first few minutes, not for want of things to say but because it felt comfortable, natural even to put distance between them as colleagues and their married life. Thomas and O'Brien were deep in conversation as they crossed the courtyard, their look of contempt earning them a wide smug smile from Anna. She squeezed John's hand more tightly and leaned lightly into his arm. Despite their bravado they each carried a certain amount of trepidation in what they were about to encounter. It was one thing to spend a night together in a guest room but another to be faced with the rest of their lives in their own home.

The small brick building came into view as they passed under the arch and rounded the corner to the small row of cottages. There was nothing particularly special about the outside of the house but to Anna it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Someone had painted the window frames and door since she had last been there, making it look cleaner and newer; the fresh cream woodwork offsetting the rust of the brick, the open gate welcoming them in. It looked sturdy and built with love and she hoped it was a symbol of their union.

John released her hand and pulled the key from his pocket. It turned easily in the lock and the door swung open revealing the small sitting room. He inwardly groaned as he turned to look at her, wondering fleetingly why everything had to be so difficult with them. His mother's words drifted into his consciousness - The harder you work for it, the more it's worth having- if that were true then she was really worth having.

"What?" she asked, her tone one of amusement as he continued to stare at her.

"Tradition dictates that I carry you over the threshold. I was just pondering how to make it happen," he offered with a rueful smile. "As much as I like the notion of flinging you over my shoulder and carting you in, I'm not sure my back is up to it."

She laughed and grabbed his hand, tugging him through the doorway with her. "Why don't we just take the step together."

Anna dropped his hand and walked towards the kitchen, her eyes adjusting quickly to the dimness of the sitting room. The small wooden table took up most of the kitchen and she placed the basket on top, slowly unpacking the contents. "Shall I make some tea." she asked, as the familiar clattering of his cane against tile followed her.

"That would be nice."

She opened a cupboard and lifted out a kettle, filling it with water and placing it on the range.

John loitered in the doorway, turning back to study the small sitting room. The few pieces of his mother's furniture that he had kept and brought to Yorkshire seemed to fit the room but his eyes were drawn to the small parcel on the side table. "Anna."

She appeared at his side instantly and he indicated the small brown bundle tied with ribbon.

"A gift?" she asked, her eyes wide with excitement.

He shrugged, overwhelmed once again by the generosity of the people whom he had been fortunate enough to welcome into their lives. "Open it then."

The brown paper discarded on the floor, her fingers brushed through the material, a smile forming at her lips as she contemplated what she could make, the note floating to the ground. Picking it up, her grin widened. "A house warming gift from Lady Mary and Lady Edith."

"Does this mean I am to spend my afternoon measuring Windows and pillows?" he asked, feeling genuinely content at the prospect.

The kettle whistled in the other room and she placed the note on the neatly folded cotton before heading back to make tea. "I'll start on lunch. Why don't you take it easy."

"I can help," he offered, making to follow her.

A hat and coat landed over the back of an armchair as her face peeked around the door frame. "This is our first meal in our first home, I should fulfil my wifely duty and cook."

John took another step towards her. "Come here," he instructed, his features revealing little, his free arm outstretched to receive her.

Anna moved towards him, coming to rest before him. "I'm here."

"Your first wifely duty, as you put it, is to make me happy," he said quietly, his lips quirking upwards into a smile as he grabbed her by the waist, pulling her flush against his frame.

She shrieked as her hands pressed against his chest. "John."

His head dipped lower as his lips found hers in a fierce kiss. As her hands worked their way up and round his neck she relaxed, deepening the kiss, settling herself against him. For a moment everything else fell away, the stresses of the last year, his insecurities, all replaced instead by the comfort and safety of their love for each other. It lasted only a few minutes and even as they broke for air she felt the shift in him.

John let out a deep melancholy sigh as he released her and stepped back. As he held her, his tongue tangling with hers he had felt the stirrings of desire, knew that as his hand drifted lower, grasping the curve of her bottom that she could feel it too. His eyes fluttered shut as he tried to compose himself. When he opened them again she was walking away from him. He watched her path across the room but didn't know what to say.

"Sit," she threw over her shoulder, "I'll bring your tea." Anna allowed a satisfied smile to tweak at her lips. She had felt his need for her pressing against her stomach, felt his breathing becoming more erratic as she deepened the kiss. There was only so long he could fight his need, of that she was certain, but she'd wait, and enjoy the moments they had. It was something to look forward to in the dark moments that he held her at a distance, and through the long nights she slept alone.

John dropped into the armchair, stretching out his wounded leg, as he made himself comfortable. He needed a moment alone to think. His emotions were running a gauntlet through his mind and he found it hard to think straight when she was near him and he needed to think straight. The urge in that moment to take her by the hand and lead her upstairs had been overwhelming and that surprised him.

"We'll have lunch in about half an hour," she announced, leaning over him to place a cup on the side table.

He could do this, he told himself. They would have a nice lunch and take a walk around the garden. It would be fine. He inwardly groaned as his arm brushed against the curve of her breast as she leaned back across him and stood upright. The next few hours were going to be hell, he concluded.

2

Anna dropped onto the bed, bouncing up and down slightly as the mattress yielded to her weight. "It's so soft," she mumbled, grinning like a schoolgirl as she continued to bounce.

"Glad to see Mrs Hughes hasn't completely cured you of your inner child." He loved to see her act with carefree abandonment, to see the real Anna emerge from the confines of service. Except a free and wanton Anna wasn't exactly what he needed when his hormones were raging. His first mistake was agreeing to come to the cottage in the first place, his second he was realising was agreeing to come upstairs and look over the bedrooms.

"You should try it. You don't know what you're missing."

It was challenge, her eyes wide and daring him to join her. He eyed the bed, debating the predicament he now found himself in. To sit beside her was opening himself up to something else altogether and in such close proximity he knew she could overcome his resistance.

"Please," she begged, her head tilting to one side, and gazing up at him adoringly.

Reluctantly he hung his cane over the end of the bed and settled himself on the mattress, leaving a fair few inches between them. She bounced and he found himself moving up and down in the current of her movement. "I'm not sure I'm going to get much sleep," he commented dryly. "I can't remember ever sleeping on anything this soft."

Anna turned to grin at him. Her intentions for the bed had very little to do with sleep, although by the time she had finished with him of a night she figured he would be too exhausted not to sleep. "We could try it out for size."

"I wasn't planning on wasting my afternoon with you napping," he lamented.

"Does it matter what we do as long as we're together, John?" she asked, her voice soft and caressing.

She had him on that one, he had to concede. Slowly he leaned down and began to remove his shoes, before easing himself out of his jacket and tie. "Shall we?" he asked, when she was still watching him.

Anna rose to her feet and slipped out of her shoes and stockings before settling herself on the bed. They had never really discussed the finer points of sharing a bed but he gravitated to the side closest to the window, her to the door as they had on their wedding night.

He stretched out his arm and she nestled into him, her head on his chest, her hand languishing across his waist. John closed his eyes, willing the moment to memory. It had been so long that it was almost torture having her there. He hoped he had the willpower to just lie there and not allow his body to urge him further.

Anna gently walked her fingers up and along his ribcage, over his chest to massage the underside of his jaw. As her lips gently nipped his shoulder she heard him moan against her hair. Her tongue began to trace the line of his neck and he turned to capture her lips, groaning as her hand made its way into her hair, holding him firmly against her.

3

John rolled onto his back, no longer able to gaze into the eyes of the woman beside him. He had waited so long to make love to his dear sweet Anna, to hold her and lose himself in her. In the end he had waited too long.

"John?" she asked in a tone that could not hide her confusion. When he didn't not respond she rolled to her side, her hand snaking up across his chest to cup his head turning his face to look at her. "Did I . . . Was it something?"

He shook his head, his eyelids fluttering shut at the pain in her eyes. "No."

"I don't understand."

How could she, he wondered. How could his dear sweet Anna comprehend that his body had failed him. Of course if wanting something so badly it hurt made it perfect he would be on a winning streak. He opened his eyes to see her gazing at him in question. "I can't."

Her hand slipped from his cheek and he grabbed it, holding it against his chest, willing her to understand from the laboured breathing and the racing of his heart that he had wanted to. He rolled slowly, adjusting his position until they were nose to nose. "I want to, Anna, so very much."

Anna gave him a tentative smile, slowly grasping the situation but unsure what to say. Finally she settled for something simple. "Will you just hold me, John?"

"Of course," he whispered, clinging to her just a little tighter.

They lay, arms wrapped around each other, legs entwined as the sun began its descent beyond the window. The afternoon was slowly turning to evening which meant their time together was coming to an end and a long night of service lay ahead of them.

Reluctantly, John bestowed a gentle kiss to her temple before gently removing himself from their entanglement. "We should think about heading back."

"Do we have to?" she asked, her voice laced with sleepiness.

"Yes, my love." He kissed the top of her head. "I'll bring you some tea while you get dressed."