Chapter Text

Mia's head turned at the sound of the door opening. The edges of her vision blurred a little and she bit back a groan, reminding herself once again to move more slowly. She'd never had a concussion before, but it was quickly becoming apparent that it was not an experience she would like to repeat.

"Hey," greeted Rafael, entering the room. He sank down into the chair at the side of her bed. Olivia hovered by the door, not wanting to crowd the situation. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Sore… confused. I remember being in the car with Mom. We'd been to the movies… I think," Flashes of the previous evening were coming back, but they were fuzzy and disjointed. "We were eating popcorn, and then it's all blank."

"It doesn't matter. Don't try and force it." In all honesty, Rafael thought it might be better if she didn't remember the details of what happened.

"Where's Mom? When can I see her?"

Rafael swallowed, leaning forward to place his hand over hers where it rested on the bed. "Mia."

He opened his mouth, but the words just wouldn't come. He didn't have it in him to shatter her world, even though he knew she needed to be told. He didn't know how to do this. He wasn't trained for this. He turned to Liv, eyes pleading for something, anything that could help him.

She stepped forward, out of the shadows of the doorway and neared the bed. "Mia? My name is Lieutenant Benson. I'm afraid…" she swallowed, quashing her emotions as she'd been trained to do in these situations. "I'm afraid I have some bad news about your mom."

Suddenly Mia's palms were sweaty. She rubbed her free hand against the bed sheets. Her heart thudded painfully in her chest while her mouth went bone dry. And she knew. It was there, in the drawn, pale look that the Lieutenant was giving her. She turned to Rafael, desperately searching his face for some indication that there had been a mistake, that what she was being told wasn't true. "Raf…?"

In the end, with Mia's wide, watery eyes pleading with him, he couldn't allow Olivia to deliver the blow. It wasn't right, but he had to do it, no matter how hard it was to get the words out. His jaw clenched, and he let out a shaky sigh. "I'm sorry, Mia. Your mom's injuries… they were just too severe."

For several long seconds, Mia forgot how to breathe. It was the hand of the Lieutenant on her shoulder, squeezing at the same time her chest started to burn that had her inhaling finally. She felt her eyes beginning to burn. Seeing her break, Rafael moved quickly and gathered her in his arms. He didn't hold her too tightly, conscious of her injuries, but she burrowed into his chest, fisting her hand into his shirt.

As she watched Rafael comfort a devastated Mia, Olivia was thrust back in time seventeen years, to when Cragen had called her into his office to deliver similar news to her. She was much older and didn't have the best relationship with her mother, but it was still hard. She couldn't imagine how much worse it must be for Mia, so young and, from Rafael had told her, extremely close to her mom. She would need all the support she could get.

With a nod to Rafael, Olivia stepped outside to give the two of them some space to grieve for their loved one together. Shared memories, comfort and patience. That was how the two of them would begin to heal.

Olivia gave Rafael and Mia half an hour, which she used to visit the small shop and purchase some toiletries, drinks and snacks for Mia. She didn't know her interests, so bought a few different ones that looked appropriate for a girl of her age.

Returning to the trauma centre, she tapped lightly on the window to Mia's room. When Rafael looked up, she waved at him to join her outside. When he did, she handed him the bag.

"I picked up a couple of things for Mia."

"Thanks." He reached into his back pocket for his wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

Olivia waved him away. "Don't worry about it." She glanced at her watch. "Look, I need to get to the precinct. Will you be okay?"

"Yeah. I don't think it's quite sunk in yet. For either of us."

"It'll take time," she agreed, squeezing his hand gently. "I'll call you later, okay?" She turned to leave but Rafael's voice stopped her.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you…" He shook his head, dismissing the idea. "Forget it."

"What?" She placed a hand on his arm. He looked so lost. "Whatever I can do to help, I will."

"I was going to ask if you'd call at my mom's place on your way to the precinct. I don't want her to hear the news on the phone, I'd rather there was someone with her. I'd go myself but…"

"… you want to stay here with Mia." Olivia finished his sentence for him.

He nodded. "She's inconsolable… I can't just leave her right now."

"I'll tell your Mom," she agreed, placing a hand on his arm. She couldn't say it was something she *wanted* to do, but she would. For him. It was understandable that he didn't want to leave the hospital. Mia needed him. "Do you need me to call anyone else? Carmen? The DA?"

He shook his head. "No, I've sent Carmen a text and asked her to rearrange my day." Thankfully, he wasn't in court that day; but he did have a couple of meetings with defence attorneys that needed to be rescheduled. "I'll call Jack later, but I suspect he'll already have heard about it through the grapevine." News like this travelled fast in the law enforcement and judicial communities of New York.

"Okay. I'd better get going." She pulled him in for a quick hug. "I'll let you know when I've spoken to your mom. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

He pulled back but didn't relinquish his hold on her completely, his hands resting on her waist, hers on his shoulders. "I will. Thanks, Liv."

"Anytime Rafa." The urge to kiss his cheek was strong, but she resisted, chastising herself. Now was not the time to be thinking about that. She stepped back from his hold and, securing her bag on her shoulder, turned and made her way out of the trauma centre.

Olivia stood on the doorstep of a small townhouse in the Bronx. The houses on the street were packed closely together, neighbours on each side. There wasn't much of a front yard, but the few flowerbeds were immaculately tended. She wondered if it was Rafael's childhood home; she could easily picture him sitting on the stoop with his head in a book or playing catch in the quiet street with his cousin.

Taking a breath, she knocked three times and waited patiently as the sound of footsteps drew closer and locks clicked on the other side. The door opened to reveal a short, stocky man, wearing a hastily-fastened bathrobe.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Olivia said, double checking the address Rafael had written down for her. "I must have the wrong house."

The man glanced down at the shield clipped to Olivia's waist. "NYPD? Who are you looking for?"

"Lucia Barba."

"No, this is her place." He stepped back allowing Olivia to enter and indicated to a door on her right. "If you wait in there, I'll go and get her."

Olivia entered the living room, hoping that her facial expression didn't reflect the shock and confusion she felt. It appeared Lucia Barba had a boyfriend. That was not something Rafael had mentioned, which led her to assume he didn't know. She was fairly sure she'd have heard about it if he did. The previous February, his mother had received an anonymous Valentine's Day card and he'd obsessed over it for the whole week until it had been revealed that it had come from one of her fifth-graders. Olivia smiled at the memory – Rafael had been a nervous wreck, imagining all sorts.

At the sound of approaching footsteps, Olivia schooled her features. The door opened, and Lucia Barba burst in. She was in a similar state of undress as the man who had answered the door and Olivia felt bad for having interrupted their morning.

"Sergeant Benson!" exclaimed Lucia. "Goodness, when Micky said the police were here, I didn't expect it to be you."

"It's nice to see you again, Mrs Barba. And it's Lieutenant Benson now."

"Oh of course. Rafi did tell me you'd been promoted." She waved over the man who had let Olivia in. "Micky, this is Lieutenant Benson. She works with my Rafi. She's the one who drives him crazy."

Micky held out his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Olivia replied, shaking hands with him.

"Well, if you'll excuse me." He kissed Lucia on the cheek. "I should probably go and put some clothes on."

Lucia cast a sideways look at Olivia, a guilty expression on her face. "You won't tell Rafi, will you? I'll tell him eventually, but… well, you know how he can be…"

She laid a hand on the older woman's shoulder. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me." Lucia smiled; she seemed genuinely happy and Olivia hated the fact that she was about to ruin that. Notifications were definitely harder to make when you knew the people involved. "Actually Lucia, Rafael is why I'm here."

Her smile faltered. "Is he okay? He's not in trouble, is he?" When he'd been suspended the previous year, Rafael wouldn't tell her why. He probably wouldn't have even told her about the suspension had she not let herself into his apartment unannounced one afternoon, to find him lounging in sweats and a hoodie. She hoped whatever he had done then hadn't come back to bite him.

"No, no. Nothing like that." She gestured to a nearby armchair. "Mrs Barba, maybe you should sit down?"

"Okay." Lucia dragged out the word, as she sat down, Olivia taking the chair next to her. When no explanation for her visit was forthcoming, Lucia laid a hand on her arm. "You're making me nervous, Lieutenant."

"I'm sorry. This is just… harder than I thought it would be." She took a breath. "Your niece, Maria and her daughter Mia were involved in a road traffic accident last night."

Lucia gasped, and Olivia's free hand moved to cover hers where it still lay on her arm.

"They were taken to Bellevue but unfortunately Maria suffered massive trauma… she passed away during surgery."

"No," she rasped, her eyes wet with tears.

Olivia bit her lip as she felt her own tears resurface. "I'm very sorry, Mrs Barba."

"Mia? What about Mia?"

"Mia is okay. She bruised and has a broken arm, but she'll be okay. Rafael is at the hospital with her."

"How did he take the news?"

"He's…" Olivia hesitated. She didn't want to lie, but she didn't want to add to Lucia's own grief. "He's about as well as can be expected, I suppose. He's been at the hospital all night. He wouldn't leave Mia's side."

"He and Maria were close. They were both only children and she was only two years younger than him. My sister, Isabella lived down the street and they used to play together every day. After college, Maria moved to Michigan for work, so we didn't see her very often; we got pictures of Mia when she was born and sent her gifts for her birthday and Christmas, but that was it. When Mia was three, she moved back here, and she and Rafi picked up their friendship as if they'd never been apart. He and Mia bonded from day one; I think it was their mutual love of snacks," smiled Lucia.

Olivia listened patiently to Lucia's memories of her niece. Not spending much time with Mia until she was three certainly helped explain why Rafael found it easier to deal with Noah now. He didn't have any experience with babies, but he had some tricks up his sleeve when it came to young children.

Lucia clapped her hands on her knees. "Right," she said, standing up. "I'll get dressed and then I'll get to the hospital. Send Rafi home for some sleep."

Olivia stood, nodding along with Lucia's idea. Rafael desperately needed to go home. He needed to sleep, a shower and a change of clothes. Probably wouldn't do him any harm to have a shave too. But he was being his usual stubborn self. If anyone could get him to leave Mia's side, it would be Lucia.

"Do you want me to wait for you?" she offered, as she and Lucia walked back through to the hallway. "I can drop you back at the hospital on my way to the station."

"No, that's okay. Micky will drive me," she assured her, opening the front door. "Thank you for being there for Rafi. You look like you could do with getting some sleep too."

Olivia scoffed. "Unfortunately, I have to go to work. Tell Rafael I'll pop back to the hospital later." She stepped over the threshold and turned back to Lucia. placing a hand on her arm. "I'm sorry for your loss."