Of cookies and sticks
Author's note: I am terribly sorry that it took me so long to write this pathetic excuse of a story. Not even I find that funny, and it is actually quite easy to amuse me, as I laugh about almost everything (even things that I am not supposed to laugh about).
But I hope that you can forgive me if I tell you that I spent almost every waking minute ( and I didn't know one day could have so many of those) of the last three weeks studying, and as I am still in the middle of exam time, I will continue to do so for the next three weeks. So please don't be to mad at me for having to wait so long for this bad piece of writing and for having to wait even longer for the great idea I have had for some time now because I won't be able to write much till the holidays. And now I've annoyed you enough with my babbling and on with the story!
Sorry, of course I still have to write the disclaimer: Does anybody ever read these? No? Yep, I thought so. But still, there you go, even if no one reads it, at least it's there: I don't own Star Wars or Harry Potter. Not that there's any Harry Potter in this, I just wanted to make that clear. We don't want anyone getting ideas, now do we?
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Anakin sat in his room, still grumbling. He had spent at least fifteen minutes pondering his problem and he hadn't come up with a solution to it yet. Now he was getting seriously impatient. He couldn't be bothered to overexert himself with thinking about this stupid task; he had much more important things to do. Like daydreaming about a certain senator… and that would at least take up two hours.
So he really didn't have any more time to think about how to relieve Master Yoda of his stick.
And Obi-Wan wasn't helping him, either. He was supposed to be the brains, Anakin was supposed to be the muscle.
Sighing, Anakin gave up. Any more time spent on this matter was completely wasted.
Suddenly, Anakin decided on a course of action. He would simply turn to the Dark Side. Palpatine regularly promised him "unlimited power" if he became his apprentice. And he supposed that, if one had "unlimited power", one could quite easily acquire a simple stick, even if it belonged to the oldest and wisest Master of the Jedi… well, at least the oldest.
That idea pleased him greatly, as apparently it didn't involve any effort on his side. He would simply have to go and become Palpatine's apprentice and all of his problems would disappear.
With a pleased grin on his face, he set out to find his friend the Chancellor…
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Suddenly, Obi-Wan had a very, very bad feeling. And somehow, he felt the sudden urge to check whether the Chancellor was in his office and find out where his apprentice was.
Never one to ignore what the Force was telling him, he left the Temple at a quick pace, on his way to the Senate Building and the Chancellor's office…
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Just as Anakin was walking down one of these seemingly endless hallways of the Jedi Temple, he saw a small and extremely green figure hobbling towards the training salles. He stopped short in his tracks to think for a second. Maybe it was even less effort if he simply picked up the stick while Master Yoda was sparring. Anakin supposed that it must have been his lucky day, as the last time the old green Master had been sparring with anyone was… Anakin couldn't even remember the last time Yoda had been sparring with anyone.
The Force really must have a soft spot for lazy Padawans, Anakin mused.
So he abandoned his plan of joining the Dark Side and instead followed Yoda into a training room where Mace was waiting. And really, Master Yoda was presently disposing of his robe, hung it on a hook and leaned his walking stick against the wall. Then, he turned towards Mace, they bowed, ignited their lightsabers and engaged in an awesome fight.
But Anakin didn't have eyes for any fancy battle moves. His gaze was glued to the walking stick leaning innocently in the corner, ignored by everyone except him. A wide grin on his face, he grabbed the walking stick and with a loud whoop of triumph he stormed out towards the Council Chambers to present his prize, completely oblivious to the fact that most of the Council was presently standing in the training salle, blinking in surprise and being more that slightly miffed at the Padawan's rather impolite and inappropriate behaviour. Obviously, Obi-Wan didn't have his Padawan under control.
Apparently, a serious talk with the boy's Master was in order…
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Anakin went back to the quarters he shared with Obi-Wan, swinging Yoda's walking stick in triumph. This had probably been the most efficient way to complete this stupid task, even if the Council (and also the rest of the Temple) were less than ecstatic about his methods. At least he hadn't had to disappoint Obi-Wan by getting a new Master. The Jedi would probably have been really sad if Anakin had joined the Dark Side.
And he was sure that he had done at least as well as his predecessor, whoever that might be.
He couldn't wait to brag to his Master about his success. When he didn't find Obi-Wan in their shared quarters, he was not pleased. But just as he sat down on the couch with a frustrated sigh, Obi-Wan came back.
When he spotted Anakin sitting on the couch, he looked relieved.
"Ah, Anakin, there you are! I've been looking for you in the Chancellor's office, but apparently Palpatine is off to some distant planet on some political errand." Obi-Wan said.
Anakin thought that he looked strangely pleased when he said that. Maybe Obi-Wan knew more about Anakin's initial plans then his Padawan had given him credit for.
But all of these thoughts were quickly swept away as Anakin waved Yoda's walking stick in front of his eyes, shouting gleefully: "I did it! I've got this stupid walking stick! And I didn't even have to do anything; Yoda just left it leaning against the wall when he was sparring with Mace!"
Pushing the offending stick away before Anakin could poke his eye with it, Obi-Wan asked: "Master Yoda is sparring? That hasn't happened in… I don't know how long. So you got the stick? Congratulations! How did you do it?"
The answer was not what he had expected: "It was quite simple, actually. I grabbed it when no one was watching and then I ran around the Temple a few times, waving it around victoriously and shouting and laughing at the top of my lungs."
Obi-Wan sighed in resignation. Apparently, he should have told his Padawan not to run around the Temple, screaming, one more time than he had. But well, at least he had achieved his task without going to the Dark Side, as Obi-Wan had feared for some strange reason. Now he felt stupid and guilty for doubting his Padawan.
"So you were successful without having to resort to…"
At that moment, there was a loud and insistent knock on the door which was opened about three seconds later from the outside, revealing what was probably the Jedi equivalent of an angry mob.
The whole Council was there, standing behind a Master Yoda that looked as furious as could be imagined (which was still not much). And with that Obi-Wan received one of the longest lectures in his life, delivered by half the Temple, about how he should teach his Padawan proper manners.
After more than an hour of trying to calm down the outrage of the Council, Obi-Wan finally managed to placate them and get them to leave again.
With a weary sigh, he closed the door behind the last of the still upset Jedi and then he turned to his Padawan who was trying to look as innocent as he possibly could, given the circumstances.
But apparently, Obi-Wan had enough of lecturing for the day, because he simply gave Anakin a pointed look but said nothing.
The Padawan squirmed a bit but as nothing happed, he asked: "Did I do better that the one before me?"
Obi-Wan frowned in thought, but then he said decisively: "No. Although you didn't have to resort to cookies that smelled abysmally as I had, you managed to get me lectured for more than an hour, without even getting a reprimand yourself. That is simply not fair."
Anakin stared at him open-mouthed.
"So it was you? What did you do? Why haven't you told me? How did you get it done?"
There was such a childish curiosity in Anakin's eyes that Obi-Wan simply couldn't refuse to tell him of his days as a Padawan.
Whe he was finished, Anakin was holding his stomach, giggling wildly.
"That is so like you to make the apartment a smelling mess because you wanted a diplomatic solution. I would feel incredibly stupid if I were you!"
Obi-Wan also smiled. "I think we should both feel incredibly stupid. Although your method was undoubtedly effective and mine was well planned and sophisticated, we were both bested. Because when it was his turn, Oui-Gon probably did it in the fastest and most polite way imaginable. And as I said, we should both feel stupid not to have thought of that."
Anakin was quickly becoming impatient. He wanted to know how anyone could have been faster than he had been or done it in a more stylish way than Obi-Wan.
Trying to suppress a chuckle, Obi-Wan finally told him: "When he was given this appointment, he immediately sought out Master Yoda and asked him politely if he could borrow his walking stick, and apparently, Yoda simply gave it to him. Sometimes, the most obvious and easy solution is also the best one."
And with that, he finally started laughing because of the priceless look on his Padawan's face.
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Author's note: Tell me how bad it was! Recently, my sister got two flames, and now I want one, too! If you don't want to write a flame, I will also accept whatever you have to say to me. If you can't think of anything, just write: "Go back to studying if this is the best you can come up with!" Then I will at least do what I should be doing now instead of writing fanfiction, but I felt really guilty for letting you wait for so long. In the unlikely case that you actually enjoyed this, please do tell me. That would really brighten my day. Hope to see you at my next story, which I will hopefully write in my two weeks of holidays.