Chapter 4

It had been a few days since the accident. David was moved from the SICU to the ICU the day after, when it seemed he was no longer at risk for complications from the surgery. Erica had been discharged from the hospital the next morning and had been back every day to see him. He had asked Erica if she would be his power of attorney, if she would make any decisions that needed to be done in case something else went wrong. He didn't have any one else to fit that role. No wife, no children and no friends. How pathetic? He thought.

He realized he hated being a patient. Being the one to cut people open and tell them what was going on was so much easier than laying there waiting for that person to come tell them. Dr. Yang had come in to see him today. It wasn't good news. His latest liver function tests came back and the part of the liver that was left had never returned to normal functionality. If his liver didn't start to regenerate itself, he was going to go have acute liver failure and need a transplant.

Dr. Yang had already placed his name on the United Network for Organ Sharing list or UNOS list in case it would become a necessity to need a new liver. It didn't help that he had one of the rarest blood types in the U.S. If there were a match in Pine Valley it would be luck. He thought about it for a little while, in his head there were thoughts of lying in here for the next couple days, just waiting to decompensate so much so that he would die waiting for a transplant. It wasn't like he needed a heart transplant where someone else needed to die for him to live. Anyone could donate, only a portion would be needed. It was finding a person with AB+ blood that was the problem.

Erica would be in to see him in the next hour or so. He wasn't planning on telling her about this, at least not yet. He wasn't going to have her worry about him when there wasn't even proof he needed a transplant yet.

He saw her walk in, earlier than he thought. He wasn't quite sure what he'd say if she asked how he was, when he was getting out of here.

"Hey" She greeted him, looking quite happy.

"Hi" He returned trying to be equally as enthusiastic.

"Are you feeling any better today?" She asked

"A little. I am on less pain medication so I am a little more clear headed."

"That's good. Have you had any updates today?"

"Yeah, Dr. Yang was in to go over some of my test results and everything seemed good." He said lying to her face.

She started to notice his color. It was different today. She hadn't noticed it when she walked in but then she wasn't this close to him. "Why do your skin and eyes look yellow?" She asked hoping it was nothing but he was a doctor he should know.

He hadn't even noticed it, he thought, looking at his arms or any skin he could look at. Shit. This was one of the worst signs he could have. He was jaundiced, a sign that his liver function was poor, almost non-existent. But he lied. "It's just a side effect of the medications I am on."

"I don't think that's it. I heard of this before and I don't think it was medication. Maybe I should go get a doctor?" She half asked half told him getting up from her chair.

"Erica its not necessary. I'm fine." He said trying to dissuade her from getting a doctor who would surely know what he knew.

She didn't listen to him. There was something he wasn't telling her. She found the nearest doctor and had mentioned this to them. They came over in a hurry with a nurse, grabbing his chart and speaking doctor speak.

"I need a CBC, lytes, LFT's and page Dr. Yang!" The man ordered, making notes in his chart. "Dr. Hayward, your status on the UNOS list is being upgraded. This onset of jaundice has determined that your liver isn't going to return to normal function and will only continue to develop into failure. Dr. Yang should be here in a few minutes to go over your options." The doctor told David.

Erica wasn't quite sure what was going on but the words "list" and "failure" made it sound as though this was serious. "What does this mean doctor?"

"It means that Dr. Hayward here is going to need a transplant and soon." He said walking away from them to make a phone call. Just when he thought he could get out of telling Erica this happens. He knew she would ask about what that doctor just said, knew she'd figure it out without his help. "David, transplant? What the hell is going on? You just told me you were doing fine and now this."

"It's looks as though my liver hasn't stated working properly since the accident and now I'm going to need a transplant." He conceded.

"You knew about this? Why didn't you say anything?" She asked not sure if she was angry or upset.

"I didn't want to scare you. I knew it was a possibility but I didn't want to tell you if it wasn't going to happen." He told her honestly

"You should have told me and now, now it's serious. Why don't you trust me?" She asked him growing more upset by the minute.

"It's not that I don't trust you. I didn't want you to worry about this when there was a chance it wouldn't even come to that."

"Well now it has and now I'm angry with you!"

"Angry with me? I was trying spare you." He tried reasoning, but she wouldn't have it.

"Well you withheld the truth. And then you don't come clean until you get busted." She told him angry with his behavior but ready to cry for him.

"Just like old times. I keep something from you, you find out and then you yell at me. Doesn't matter why I did it, I still get the ninth degree." He half laughed. This was the dance they do.

She hadn't thought of that. This is what happened with them the first time around. "We do this a lot don't we?" She half asked knowing they did.

"All the time." He half laughed, them both knowing it was the truth. He could see tears building in her eyes. She was trying to act strong, put on this façade while she was just as scared as he was.

"This is serious isn't it?" She asked knowing it was. He didn't have to tell her she could see it in his face.

"Yeah it is." He said not able to look her in the eyes for fear she'd see how scared he was, see his weakness.

"What can I do?" She asked needing him to give her something to do, to occupy her thoughts.

"Unless you plan on giving me your liver, there isn't much you can do." He half laughed, not the least bit serious.

"I will. I mean if I can, I'll give you my liver." She told him, as serious as ever.

He laughed not thinking she was serious. When he saw she wasn't laughing too he figured out she was serious. "You're not serious? You would need the same blood type which mine is pretty rare in the U.S. And even if you were a match, I don't think you would be considered a good candidate with your previous medical history."

"I am serious and even if I don't match at least it was worth a quick test."

"I'm touched that you offered Erica, really I am but you know that would leave a scar right?"

She wasn't enjoying his taking this lightly. "This isn't funny David. I am going to go talk with, what was his name? Yang?" She spat out, leaving him to find his doctor and get the information she wanted.

He felt bad that he acted like that, mocking her willingness to help him. He was such a jerk, she was right. Here she was, offering a part of herself to him if she could and he threw it in her face. He loved that she was there for him but every time she was he found a way to push her away. Why do I do that? I find a way to drive her away and now I may never get the chance to be with her again.