Greetings mortals, it is I, the highly esteemed King Alex. I have returned, and I bring to thee, the chapter you've all been waiting for. Its time for the best (or worst) award ceremony ever mates!
I own nothing. it sucks but its true, but I say this so now you can't sue!
Aubrey sat in the limo angrily glaring at Jesse. He had been an absolute child getting ready. When Aubrey had gotten back from getting her hair done, she found Jesse in the kitchen eating brownies in his pajamas. He hadn't even put his suit on! Then, when she order him to go get ready, all he did was complain and then laugh at his suit. It had taken a considerable amount to urging (really screamed orders) to get him ready, and then Aubrey had to rush to get ready, hurriedly slipping into the dress her future self had lain out.
To say that Aubrey was pissed off would be an understatement. Between her shitty day at work, and then the absolute clusterfuck that had been their pre-show preparations, Aubrey was about ready to rip Jesse's throat out.
"Aubrey?" Jesse asked timidly.
"What." Aubrey snapped.
"Umm... nothing." Jesse said.
"It obviously was somehting, now spit it out." Aubrey growled. She so did not have the patience to deal with this right now.
"I just... I erm-" Jesse said awkwardly.
"Jesse." Aubrey said, the warning clear in her voice.
"Ijustwantedtosayyoulookedreallynicetonight" Jesse blurted out.
"Oh..." Aubrey said, at a slight loss for what to say.
"Yeah... um...I'll just-" Jesse said, before falling silent.
"Thanks..." Aubrey said quietly after a minute.
"For what?" Jesse asked, genuinely confused.
"For saying I looked nice?" Aubrey guessed, "For not being a total ass? I don't know. Just forget it."
It looked as though Jesse wanted to say something else, however instead of saying anything, he just looked out the window and remained silent. For a second, Aubrey was about to ask him what he was going to say before she stopped herself. She really didn't care now that she thought about it. She was just a bit nervous about tonight. She was suppose to be the loving fiance of Jesse, and to be honest, acting was never one of her strong suits. She could sing and dance just fine. She even modeled a bit when she was a teenager. But acting? Nope. She couldn't even tell the tiniest of lies.
"Are you ready for this?" Aubrey asked, after a moment.
"Nope!" Jesse said honestly, "But that doesn't really matter though. We're going to do this, and we're gonna be aca-awesome. I hope. If not, eh. We'll be back in the present soon enough, and this won't matter anymore. Are you ready?"
"Not really," Aubrey sighed, "I just hope that this will be a relatively painless affair."
"Gotcha," Jesse smiled "So, how are we suppose to act in front of everyone?"
"Pardon?" Aubrey asked.
"You know, before we get there, what's our game plan?" Jesse said, "Are we going to be the super duper in love couple, or the nice, quiet couple?"
"The nice quiet couple," Aubrey said quickly, "I really don't think I could even do couply."
"What?!" Jesse asked in mock surprise, "THE Aubrey Posen can't do something? I-"
"Shut up!" Aubrey laughed, punching Jesse's arm, "I am human you know. I'm not good at everything."
"Ouch woman!" Jesse laughed, rubbing his arm, "And that's a load of shit. Beca once told me you played like fifty gazillion instruments."
"First of all, there aren't even as you say 'fifty gazillion' instruments." Aubrey smirked, "Second, when was the last time that fourteen was fifty gazillion. Third, what does my musical ability have to do with me not being able to do something."
"You play fourteen instruments?" Jesse asked, shocked.
"Yeah, so?" Aubrey asked.
"Oh my god, seriously? Which ones?" Jesse asked, bouncing up and down like a child who just heard he could get a puppy.
"Why does this matter?" Aubrey asked, slightly amused by Jesse's antics.
"Because it does!" Jesse said, as though the answer should have been obvious, "Now which ones?"
"Saxophone, trumpet, oboe, bass, flute, violin, cello, viola, trombone, piccolo, guitar, clarinet, lyre, and the harp" Aubrey sighed, "Happy?"
"Holy shit, really?" Jesse asked, awed "All of them?"
"Yeah." Aubrey said.
"Wait..." Jesse said, "You play all of those random ass instruments, and yet you don't play the piano? Seriously?"
"No, I play the piano. I'm proficient in modern and classical piano." Aubrey said, "Why-"
"Why didn't you list that then?" Jesse asked, "And why didn't you say. You play FIFTEEN INSTRUMENTS? WHAT?"
"Everyone plays the piano." Aubrey said dismissively, "I didn't-"
"I don't play the piano!" Jesse said.
"That doesn't matter." Aubrey sighed, "I really don't see the point-"
"But-but you huh-" Jesse spluttered "Fifteen-"
"We're here." Aubrey said, cutting Jesse off.
Immediately, Jesse stop talking and adopted a look of one who was about to go to the gallows. Aubrey would have laughed at the man if she didn't feel the same way. Though she really hoped that this would be an in and out affair, she knew better then expect such results. More then likely, this evening would end as a disaster.
As the limo pulled up to the red carpet, Aubrey felt a familiar feeling in the back of her throat. Breathing deeply, Aubrey willed the bile to go back down.
"You got this." Jesse said reassuringly, "We go in, we eat, we sit, and then we out."
"I hope." Aubrey muttered.
The second the door was opened, they were met with an absolute assault of bright flashing lights, shouted questions, and squeals of what Aubrey assumed were fans.
"And here they are ladies and gentlemen" A woman with a microphone said as they stepped out of the car, "The power couple of LA, Aubrey Posen and Jesse Swanson! How are you two tonight."
"Very well, thank you." Aubrey said politely, "How are you?"
Immediately upon seeing the barely controlled chaos that they were about to be thrown into, Aubrey decided to resort to the detached professional and polite attitude that her father instilled into her since she was 3. However, Jesse wasn't so fortunate (or unfortunate) to have such strict parents. Beside her, Jesse unabashedly gawked at the entire scene, his mouth literally agape with absolute wonder.
"Oh I'm absolutely grand," The woman said happily "How are you Mr. Swanson?"
"Ouch! Wait, um, what?" Jesse asked, as Aubrey elbowed his side to get his attention.
The woman laughed, "I asked how you were this evening, however, it seems as though you're a bit spaced."
"You know, this just never gets old for me." Jesse said happily, quickly slipping into his role.
"You'd think it would though!" The woman exclaimed, "This is what, your tenth major nomination in your short, though highly successful career."
"I've been nominated for ten awards?" Jesse asked, surprised.
"Yep, and you've won six of them!" The woman exclaimed.
"Reall- I mean yeah" Jesse said, catching himself, "It just feels like the first time every time, you know?"
"We gotcha." The woman smirked, "So I gotta go now and grill, I mean interview, the next couple, but I'll see you inside!"
"Alright, We'll see you then!" Jesse said happily.
"I'm Alexis Knapp, and that was Aubrey Posen and Jesse Swanson," The woman, Alexis, said into the camera.
"Holy shit!" Jesse said, as Aubrey dragged him towards the door, "That was Alexis Knapp?"
"I suppose," Aubrey shrugged, "Why?"
"THE Alexis Knapp?" Jesse practically squealed, "Oh my God. That was Alexis Knapp. She's like a HUGE movie star, and sings like an angel! She's won more awards and-"
"Jesse!" Aubrey braked, "Stop fangirling and start walking."
"Right, sorry." Jesse said, as they walked into the room, "But still, that was ALEXIS-"
"Jesse!" Aubrey barked.
"Right."
Aubrey had to resist the urge to just get up and leave. For the past TWO hours, this God damn award pre-show had been going on, and it made Aubrey just want to gouge her eyes out. She really didn't give a fuck who was here, or who the fuck any of these people were. Good for you. You've won a Grammy, or good for you, you're won an Oscar. Why should she care? They're little statuettes that really don't mean jack shit. You sang and pranced about, doing basically nothing to win an inordinate amount of fame and money. Honestly, it was sickening to Aubrey.
However, no matter what her feelings on the matter were, they meant nothing to Jesse. Every time some random ass celebrity would introduce themselves to him, she'd have to practically physically restrain him from kissing the ground they walked on. He squealed and gushed over each one afterwards, and Aubrey was about ready to kill him. She didn't care. Okay? Get the fuck over it now and behave like an adult. Stop acting like a fourteen year old girl who just met their celebrity crush. For serious, he needed to get a grip.
"Alright everyone! Please find you're seats now! The 2017 People's Choice Awards are going to start now!" The host said, breaking Aubrey out her mental complaints.
"Finally!" Aubrey huffed. Hopefully this tortuous event would end soon.
Three hours later, Aubrey still found herself in her seat. The fucking awards kept coming. And coming. And coming. Honestly, Aubrey was surprised at how many fucking awards there were. Who knew that there were so many egos that needed stroking. Then on top of that, each award needed a fucking fifteen minute introduction. The host, Anna Camp, would have a five minute shpeel to say, talking about how wonderful this person was, or how funny they were, or whatever else she could say. Then, Anna and the award winner would be on the stage for another ten minutes, joking around and talking about nonsensical stupid shit.
"Fucking hell, this is ridiculous." Aubrey grumbled to herself, as they called for another break.
"OH MY GOSH!" Jesse fangirled, "Did you see the last-"
"YES!" Aubrey growled, "I fucking saw all of them! I was here! Alright?!"
"Sorry..." Jesse said, cowed by Aubrey' angry glare, "This is just my thing, you know. I worshiped these people, and now I'm in the same room as them, with them wanting to work with me... Its surreal, you know?"
"Yeah..." Aubrey sighed, "Sorry Jesse. This day's just been shit, and then all of this to top it off, I just-"
"Its alright." Jesse said quickly, but sincerely, "I get it. If this was some Office party, or some other lawyer thing, I'd probs be the same way."
"I hate office parties." Aubrey said, "and the only thing I like about being a lawyer is actually being a lawyer. I hate all the extra pomp and shit that others make out of it."
"Oh..." Jesse said, "That would explain all the.. Bleh towards this then."
"Yup." Aubrey sighed, "But hey, this is your thing. Apparently, you deserve it."
"Yeah." Jesse laughed, "Supposedly I'm some big shot now... Wow. That's weird."
"I know." Aubrey laughed, "I still see you as-"
"Ah, the power couple of LA," Anna cut in, "How are you this evening."
"Excellent, thank you." Aubrey said politely, "You're doing a marvelous job hosting tonight."
"No I'm not." Anna laughed, "You don't need to lie. I probably hate this more then you do. Don't lie. I saw you scowling earlier!"
"Umm..." Aubrey said, blushing at being caught.
"Its fine." Anna laughed, "So other then this entire shindig being boring enough to make you want to gouge your own eyes out, how are you. Really?"
"I'm doing alright," Aubrey sighed, "How are you?"
"Bored." Anna said honestly, "What about you Jesse?"
"A little star struck," Jesse said honestly.
Anna laughed, "Yeah, I totes got you. You may be a star, but sometimes its hard to remember that, right?"
"Yeah," Jesse said laughing, "Its just weird, you know? I see me, as well me! And then I see freaking Alexis Knapp, or yourself, and I have to stop myself from completely fangirling over them. Actually, Aubrey stops me. I'd totally be flipping out right now if she wasn't sitting right there."
"Hey!" Aubrey laughed, lightly slapping Jesse's arm, "That's... actually, that's true."
"Oh my gosh, you guys are hilarious!" Anna laughed, "Well, I gotta go now, but I'll see you on stage hopefully! Your category is up next!"
With that said, Anna walked away, off to go speak with whatever celebrity or manager she had to before returning to the stage.
"She's nice." Aubrey said after a bit.
"She's Anna Camp." Jesse breathed, "I just had a conversation with Anna-"
"Jesse!" Aubrey said quickly, "Before you start hyperventilating, I need you to chill out. Now."
"Right, but it was-"
"Jesse!"
"Right."
"Alright everyone, and we're back to the 2017 People's Choice Awards!" Anna Camp announced. "So up next we have the award for the best musical score of a movie in 2017."
Aubrey sat in her seat, barely listening to what was going on. She was bored, she was tired, and okay, maybe she was a little drunk. Just a little though! With a sigh, Aubrey ran a hand through her hair, and sat up a little straighter. Her father would have a heart attack seeing her-
"-winner is Jesse Swanson!" Anna announced loudly, drawing Aubrey back to reality.
For a minute, neither Jesse or Aubrey moved. Jesse looked absolutely shocked, and Aubrey was taking a second to process Anna's words. However, they soon registered, and Aubrey flicked Jesse's ear to get him to go.
"Go!" Aubrey yelled over the applause, "You won! Now go get your little statuette!"
"I won..." Jesse said dazedly, "I won..."
"Yes, now go!" Aubrey said, laughing.
Practically falling out of his chair, Jesse scrambled up to the stage.
"Congratulations Mr. Swanson!" Anna said as Jesse reached the stage.
"Oh my God, thank you!" Jesse said, as Anna handed him the statuette, he blushed, "I really don't know what to say! I uh, I didnt expect to win, so I didn't prepare anything. So, thanks to everyone who's worked to me, umm... Just thank you."
As Jesse moved to walk off the stage, Anna stepped in front of him.
"Whoa there Mister." Anna said, "We're not done with you yet! A little birdie told me that SOMEONE just got engaged and that SOMEONE is going to be off the market in a month."
"Really?" Jesse asked, "Who?"
"You silly!" Anna laughed, "Would a Miss Aubrey Posen please come up here!"
Blushing, Aubrey made her way up to the stage. This day really couldn't get any worse, could it? What the hell was Anna doing? She really didn't need this.
"Alright, so we all know Aubrey's your muse," Anna said, as soon as Aubrey was up on the stage, "So I think you owe her a nice big thank you!"
"Thank you so much honey." Jesse said, playing along.
Internally Aubrey rolled her eyes. However, considering that they were on Live national television, she refrained from actually doing so. Instead, she just blushed a little more, and tried not to throw up.
"No, thank you babe," Aubrey said, "This is all you."
"Aww!" Anna cooed "You guys! I think you two should kiss. Like now."
"Now?" Aubrey asked.
"No, when I'm dead and can't see," Anna deadpanned, "Yes of course now! Kiss for the cameras!"
Aubrey was internally panicking. She didn't even like Jesse, and now she had to kiss him? On a stage in front of a room full of people. While being filmed. On national television. Looking over to Jesse, she could see the panic in his eyes too.
"Come on! Kiss, Kiss, Kiss, Kiss!" Anna chanted.
Biting her lip, Aubrey walked over to Jesse and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. As she moved to go off the stage Anna stopped her.
"Nup, uh uhn." She said, "Let's get a real kiss here."
Before Aubrey could say anything though, to protest, to do anything, Jesse was in front of her. With a quick apologetic smile, he literally swept her off her feet and pulled her in for a long, movie worthy kiss. To shocked to do anything, Aubrey just laid limp in his arms. Just as Aubrey began to process what was actually happening, that Jesse was kissing HER, he gently put her back down.
"AWWW!" Anna said, "YOU GUYS!"
"Thank you!" Jesse called out into the crowd as he walked off the stage.
Aubrey followed him off, in a trance. Jesse just kissed her. He just fucking kissed her, without even giving her a say in the thing. Jesse just kissed her. In front of hundreds of people. In front of millions, if you counted the people watching this from home. She was going to KILL him later.