SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

*A/N: Some may not agree with my portrayal of Justice within this story, but it's just my opinion of how things may have been. Although Anders says in DAII that "not even the greatest scholar could tell where Justice ends and I begin," or something to that extent it seems somewhat contradictory in my opinion.

For one while in the Fade during the Night Terror's quest & the whole Feynriel debacle he refers to himself as Justice, literally saying "I am Justice." Two, they have different personalities Anders although a bit more broody (but come on who would be being possessed by a spirit that sat on your shoulder hounding you all day about how you should live your life) can still joke around and smile on occasion while Justice as you see in the Fade during Night Terror's doesn't seem to hold any ill will towards you nor anyone else for that matter and just seems rather a 'intent on the goal' kind of person which is just a more focused, driven, single-minded version of what we saw in Awakening. Three, if you romance Anders when he finally comes to your place (After 3 sodding years of some kind of Maker given restraint) he say's "Justice does not approve of my obsession with you, it is something on which HIM and I disagree" clearing stating how there two different entities within the same body who share different thoughts by singling Justice out.

*A note on the Justice/Anders conversations. The bold italic=Justice, The plain Italic=Anders internal dialogue with Justice. Some of what Anders says/thinks in his internal dialogue is in quotation marks (" ")this marks things he is directly saying/thinking to Justice, but Justice is privy to all Anders thoughts.

Chapter FOUR

~The Truth about Anders: Part II~

(Anders)

Anders sighed aloud as Searia's hands gripped the sides of his head letting the familiar warmth of her healing magic consume him. He could feel the last recesses of poison leave his body, his once fuzzy and cloudy head clear.

"Alright," she whispered into his ear, her breath caressing his neck, "I'll admit it; maybe demanding I take those rudimentary healing lessons wasn't such a waste of time after all."

"Of course I was, I told you I was always right, when will you learn," he asked blinking his eyes open only to meet her oddly striking amethyst eyes. Her white bangs hung haphazardly across her forehead, offsetting the light gray but almost silvery lines that marked the Dalish tattoo on her near perfect face. Near Perfect, he hated that the thought had passed through his head; it was hard not to notice the scar that hung just below her left eye in a line that reached to the bridge of her nose. Most never commented on it, especially in her line of work, but he had known her before the thick scar signaling a deep cut had ever appeared on her face. A scar that he knew she had to look at every day and be reminded the true reason why even some Mage's believe they've been cursed by the Maker.

"I told you I predicted this would happen. Why did you not heed my warning? She knows you too well Anders, is too close—just tell her—is there a reason you find her no longer deserving of your trust or is she just another abandoned conquest?"

The spirit inside him constantly hounded his thoughts. Two minds within the same body; he was no longer just Anders, just as Justice was no longer a benign spirit of Justice, but was now a barely controlled combination of the two. Anders anger had transformed the benign spirits true purpose into something slightly more righteous, Vengeance.

He could still tell the difference between what he considered his thoughts and those wrought by Justices' influence. Justice still held memories from his former host Kristoff, so even if the two were now one he liked to think of it as just having a friend become a permanent internal passenger . . . kind of like a tumor. The irony of the fact that a tumor slowly consumes once healthy tissue and corrupts it with its own personal 'agenda' was not lost on him. Once he was bound to the spirit he knew his life was no longer just limited by the Taint that coursed through his blood, it was all only a matter of time, he just hoped it was enough.

He could feel his anger bubble at the spirits accusation. "You know more than any other what she means to me. She was never and will never be just some meaningless floozy that fades from thought or memory like a star fading from existence. Which is why I left, I-I can't let her see me like this, us like this."

"You want her to accept us, for who or rather what we've become. I cannot say I understand this feeling of reluctance you have, but some of Kristoff's memories taught me the importance that these human relationships have one one's psyche. She is a kind and giving woman, she will not cast you aside for trying to help a friend; it was her that gave you the idea was it not? She could be an important ally to have on our side. Look what she and King Alistair are doing for Ferelden mages; if I were to guess I would assume from previous interactions with her that she would be more than willing to help with our cause."

Anders mentally sighed again. The spirit just didn't understand, everything was a means to an end for him, the greater good. If she was just the Hero of Ferelden it wouldn't matter, but she wasn't. How long had they known one another, how many nights in the Tower had they spent comforting one another, playing cards, sneaking off to the storeroom to drink, chasing away memories of another kind of evil? He couldn't stand knowing how much he must disgust her now . . . for Andraste's sake Justice had just tried to kill her! If he had…

"Do not blatantly assume just because I did not know her as you have, that that would mean I did not too treasure her companionship," the deep intrepid voice boomed inside his head. "While I resided in Kristoff's body she not only protected me, but became my friend; helped show me the injustices done to her and mages everywhere, taught me what it meant to care for someone. She is a woman; though younger than you, worthy of great respect, a voice of justice in an unjust world, worthy of honor and our loyalty."

Anders felt the heat and guilt of Justices' words weight on him. He was right, he had never considered the relationship he had with the Commander, well not since they had merged. He knew the spirit was fond of Searia before, he could even remember how the feelings of jealousy would often creep up when they had traveled together. Well shit . . .

"Do not assume I think her a distraction for you because she is simply a woman and you a man, I think her a distraction because how could she not be?" His voice dropped off suddenly to almost a whisper, "How do you expect to be around her and not want for more? I am a spirit of the Fade and even I was not immune to the want she stirred inside of me, the body I inhabited may have been dead, but the strange emotions that she evoked in me were not so dormant. For this I do not wish her harm Anders, I too would risk much to see her safe—would have sorely regretted her death by our hands maybe more than I should like to admit. She saved our lives more times than counting, she saved Ferelden, does she not also deserve our trust?"

"You loved her," it was not a question.

"I do not rightly know."

"How can you say that, it seems fairly obvious?"

It is difficult to discern such human emotions; I have no recollections of my own to go on, just the memories of others. I could not feel her touch as she held my hand or tried to comfort me in an embrace. I longed to feel the caress of her hands on my face or that kiss she placed on my cheek, I found through searching Kristoff's memories that I wanted to return those gestures. I could not tell you what that meant, I only know how she made my mind feel, how I came to care for her through the actions and decisions she made, the choices she had to face. "

Anders not for the first time wished he could temporarily remove the spirit from his body. Like a parasitic conscience he was always there, listening, hearing every thought that crossed his mind whether he wished it or no and vice versa. His opinions and constant stream of questions resounding in his head over every decision that he, (they?) made. But right now he was in some kind of mindless shock and truth be told a bit of jealousy. How had this turned into a lecture about how he was insensitive to Justice's feelings towards their possibly former Commander? Though he was reasonably shocked at that revelation as well.

Justice had a point though. A distraction, he could certainly see her being that; he could see her being much more than that in fact. Ever since that night at the Keep, he could almost feel her skin under his hands, even as he thought about it now. He wanted her no point in denying that, his body ached for her, but things were different now, complicated. She was with the sodding King and flings were no longer in her vocabulary. He could kick himself for the number of times he rejected her advances in the Tower when they snuck off and got drunk in a store room somewhere; but in all honesty he just hadn't thought of her like that back then. Yes she was beautiful, and yes her reputation for tryst amongst the other mages was almost as infamous as his own, but five years apart made a much bigger difference back then. It was bad enough he was only a couple months away from celebrating his 18th nameday when she had come to him. Knowing that Justice could see those memories as well as knowing how he felt didn't help his guilt.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to assume anything, but the anger . . . I'm not always sure how you'll react. When I saw her alive I should have known that you would never harm her on purpose, she's our friend and you're right, she does deserve our trust. And your right on another point as well, she may very well be a distraction, but just a visual one, it's not as if I have any plans of forcing myself on her." He shuddered at the thought.

"Do you fear the ire of the King?"

He laughed mentally and it was an odd thing to experience. Like the thought of a sound but not quite matching what his true voice sounded like, odd. "Though I do not particularly wish for Good King Alistair's ire for sleeping with his… well mistress I guess, although that sound a bit dirtier and underhanded than it is—turned towards me, I am more afraid of our dear Commanders wrath. I can't even imagine how that disaster would turn out, I don't particularly want to either, something about visualizing your entrails on the floor that just turns the stomach, not to mention the simple fact that the mere thought of a man, any man forcing himself on a woman makes me feel physically ill, let alone myself," he shook the thought away, "but I'm getting away from the point.

"Yes, you are. You know very well what I meant, I will never understand this sarcasm that you insist on using, even with yourself I might point out. We both know you'd never force yourself on anyone, but satisfying your bodies baser needs consensually— it's not like any of your past conquests husband's, boyfriend's, or fiancé's have ever stopped you in the past—and I can't imagine why him being King should change anything, it's not as if she's wed or even betrothed."

Anders huffed in mock irritation. "Well for one we both know she could never be "just another conquest" she deserves better than that, even from a possessed grifter apostate like me, he chuckled. "Truth of the matter is whether I like it or not, it would never work. If not for the fact that she's the Kings mistress—which really might not hold me back on its own I mean I DO like a challenge and he is a former Templar, I don't care if he never took his vows—but she's the bloody Hero of Ferelden, AND its Warden-Commander, AND Arlessa of Amaranthine. She killed the sodding Archdemon, which SHOULD have killed her, not that I'm complaining, but you can't really believe that after all that I would be anywhere close to on her radar. I wouldn't stand a chance, and if my some miracle I could still talk her out of her smallclothes, it would undoubtedly change things, and I can't imagine how that could ever turn out well. Plus even without all that nug-shit she's my friend and although I no longer care for her in a strictly "chaste" way, I could never put her in that position, she deserves more then I could ever hope to give her, there's too many risks, were just not compatible."

"Your words are contradictory. In fact you two seem more than just a little compatible. I have observed the memories you share with this woman, and what you have is no little thing. You grew up together did you not, share much of the same history? Have the same friends and I can even sense the residual drive in you to be rid of the Darkspawn, the Taint within your blood making your bond that much closer. I cannot claim to understand everything about human emotions, but I am learning more as I continue to see your interactions with others. Has something happened within your friendship that I have misinterpreted, I find that unlikely but not impossible? Kristoff once had a baffling relationship with a merchant from Orzammar in his memories named Bartrand. Something of a rivalry of sorts, they fought and disliked one another a great deal yet they somehow were still friends, in their own way. You humans are certainly a confusing bunch, so many oddities in the things you do; I cannot keep up nor fathom reasons for most of them."

Anders mentally rolled his eyes at the Spirit, "That's probably for the best. But I meant me and the Commander were not compatible 'together,' you know, long term as . . . mates."

"But—"

"That," he said cutting him off, "was a onetime thing that happened a lifetime ago, and as a favor. She deserved better, but I couldn't just let that happen, I couldn't let them take that from her."

"In Amaranthine though you—"

"And that was a mistake, end of story."

"And your shoulder, I suppose you have a reasonable excuse for that as well?"

"Part of the mistake, now shut-it. We're just not compatible that way, maybe once long ago, but she's different now, and back then she was too young barely more than a kid in my eyes. For me love is still a bard's tale in a book told to us as children; for her though, she's the main character. No mage has ever dared to fall in love, too much risk, too much to lose in the Tower. Just a few of years ago I'd never thought I'd see the day Searia Amell got serious with a man, and the bloody King at that, at least not seriously, look at her now. The monogamy of it, I just don't see the appeal.

"Say what you will, but denial will only get you so far before the truth catches you like it caught her."

"Mhmm, and how do you figure that?"

"You said it my friend. Love was too much of a risk, gave you too much to lose in the Tower, correct?"

Anders was beyond confused, "So far..."

"Well then it only makes sense to wonder when she realized what you yet haven't."

"And what's that?"

"You're not exactly in the Tower anymore are you?"

And for that Anders had no answer.

Pulled out of his reverie he watched as she slid her robes high enough up her leg to slide a dagger out of her leather thigh-high boots before she sliced the ropes that bound his wrist signaling Zev to so the same to the ropes behind her. His hands immediately came together rubbing at the chafed skin. Without hesitation Searia took his hands in hers flowing her magic into him once more.

He could have just as easily done the same himself, not that he had truly needed it, a fact he was sure she was just as aware of, healing wasn't exactly her forte. This was her way of apologizing, so he kept silent until she had finished.

All too soon he felt her weight shift as she made to move off of him. His teeth ground together at the loss of her weight over him, trying not to think to hard into what he would have liked to do her while she was up there.

"Awl, heal and dash are you sure, not even gonna let me thank you properly," he asked with a waggle of his eyebrow before he followed suit, getting off the bed and stretching his back. The muscles were tight and stiff but the cracking that emanated was a great relief, he'd fix the rest with magic later.

He could see the smirk appear on her face before she turned to him. "Oh it's so cute how you think a rickety old man like yourself could give me pleasure."

"Well that was hitting below the belt, someone's got some venom in their bite today."

Suddenly his back was shoved against the wall, all the air rushing out of his lungs with a very undistinguished sound. "What the—."

Searia was pressed firmly against him, arms wrapped tight about his neck while her face was pressed almost violently in his pauldrons. After the initial shock wore off his arms wrapped about her hugging her back just as tightly rubbing her back as she shook through her tears.

His eyes met Zevran's face who was looking at the scene before him with unconcealed curiosity, eyebrow hiked up with quizzical amusement. Anders shot him a pleading look, but Zev just shrugged, the look never leaving his face.

Anders couldn't shake the utter feeling of guilt that surrounded him. Searia, crying, this, this was very unlike her. After what he had done… he was just surprised he was still alive let alone in the same room comforting her as she sobbed on his shoulder. He let his thumb trail across the back of her neck, silently snickering at the small shudder that ran through her. He kissed the top of her head, "Shhh, I got ya. We can go kill something and then you'll feel much better."

He felt her sigh and could almost hear her roll her eyes but a slight smile tugged at her lips regardless. "Nothing. I just—it's been a long day and I'm just glad I found you, glad you're okay," she whispered. Another wave of guilt assaulted him as she pulled away, straightening her outfit and wiping away all evidence of the silent tears she had spilt before looking up and smiling at him kindly if not a little woeful. He watched her in silence trying to understand what she was hiding, what had happened— and then everything went black.

Jarred suddenly into the Fade Anders stumbled and knocked his head into a something hard before falling to the grassy floor. He looked around and realized he was in Justice's usual residence within the Fade though it was no where he had recognized as ever being before. He hated the Fade but the clearing he was in was beautiful. He was surrounded by the forest with just a glimmer here and there of the multicolored night sky, the sound of a waterfall rushing off the cliffs in the distance the only thing to be heard besides the soft sound of the Fade's recreation of wind.

"Justice?" he called out into the clearing when he saw no trace of the spirit. Silence was his only answer before he heard the soft rumbling of what sounded like a chuckle coming from the distance. He followed the sound a way and discovered Justice snickering against a tree with a blue somewhat transparent hand covering his mouth stifling the sound. He rubbed a hand over his scalp—I must have hit my head harder than I thought—but the image before him didn't go away.

"Really Justice? What might I ask is so amusing? What in Andraste's knickerweasels happened, why am I here?"

"Oh, he yet lives; you're not injured much I presume, just unconscious."

"Well how in the Void did that happen? Why didn't you do anything?"

"You deserved it. Twas an injustice righted; even if I don't agree with the violent methods and physical trauma expressed to your bodily form, I have come to realize some humans express their frustrations in a magnitude of ways. Our dear Commander for example prefers physical manifestations of her anger, though I do suppose she held back a bit due to the emotional attachment you share."

Anders wondered momentarily if he had died, this surely must be the Void. "Held back? Are you kidding, she knocked me out, I don't even remember. One minute she was hugging me and the next I'm in this observation chamber called my head arguing with you."

"You know better than I how much she held back. If she had wanted to injure you she would have. She didn't even use magic, she used her fists though I'm not sure what but I can sense some significance in that gesture alone. Traveling with her has made me more aware of her habits than I'm comfortable with. I-I do not wish to dwell on it."

Justice made a point. She'd used her fist… this was not good. "I must have really pissed her off, that was personal. Shit, I had hoped she would let me explain first."

"I'm beginning to think I made the wrong choice in bonding with you, not only are you unfocused, but you're also a surprisingly dim-witted vessel."

"Well it's not like people were running in line to volunteer for the job. So don't criticize my mental capacity, be grateful you're here at all. You could be back in the Fade by yourself doing Maker knows what."

"Yes, eternally grateful. But you shouldn't be so surprised she struck you. What you did wounded her and not just her pride. You have to wonder how long she mourned for you, how long she believe you to be dead before she discovered otherwise. Do you think that was easy for her, did you even stop to consider what repercussions this could have?"

"Of course I did. It was better this way, better she think me dead than an abomination. I-I didn't want to see the look in her eyes when she found out. Even though our cause is just, does that make my choice to take a spirit into my soul any less taboo? Does it make me any better than those that barter with demons and deal in blood magic to protect those that they love, to fend off the Templars? Is it any less dangerous? I mean look what happened as it is! It's not as if I can control myself when you take possession, or can even control when. Just because you harvest no malicious intent on innocents does that mean were any less of a threat? It's a thin line between what we did and demon possession, I don't want to accidently cross it. You have to be just as careful as I am or this could end up my greatest mistake."

"Mistake? You think this your greatest mistake?"

"No, but it easily could be. We have to think before we do anything, we can't risk the lives of the innocents around us."

"I agree, but should your life be in danger I will not hesitate to act. We have to find a way you can get in better control. Your anger will be the death of you, you have to have control over your emotions before we can work on how to bring me forward by will. It is not a pleasant experience to be launched forward from the dormant state I am in within you, maybe she can help."

"Maybe she can, we'll see how she reacts. It's the only choice we have for now, and while I trust her, I fear this will inevitably change things."

"Would you rather I told her? While you are unconscious I have the liberty of taking over should you or I wish it. It may help her understand if she can see for herself that I am indeed within you."

"You want to talk with her don't you?"

"I-yes. I wish to converse with her once again. It will be something of a novelty to do so in a living vessel. It will I think bring me peace to tell her what happened as I saw it."

"Go, but don't be too long. It gets uncomfortable in here after a while."

He nodded, "thanks friend."

*A/N: Okay I know, I know I've probably ruined Justice for all of you, but I couldn't get the idea out of my head. What if Justice was in "love" with out dear Warden but never dared to do anything not because of Alistair or for lack of wanting, but because his body was for lack of a better term was a walking corpse. Justice in Awakening was rather blunt, but a nice guy/spirit overall and I wanted to explore him in a deeper sense. In my mind since Justice had all Kristoff's memories, and he was such a curious character after all always asking questions about the human psyche and behavior that wouldn't he at the very least be a bit curious about some of the more intimate practices once he found out that the parts just weren't for breeding anyhow.

Speaking of that I think I'm going to be putting up 2 new stories. Both a series of one shots. One for the SWTWC universe called Behind the Veil: Tales Not Told with pre stuff added so you can see how they used to act with one another (might eventually write a whole story on them from Awakening and Origins but not yet) and one for misc. one shots from contest and random prompts & pairings called Questing Thedas.

Let me know what you think, as always love you all. Comment/Review