Just a silly little Christmas one-shot. I had hoped to get this out on Christmas day, and not several days later, but, alas, it was not to be. My computer charger decided to fritz out on me and so all writing had to be put on hold till Christmas day when my brother got a new laptop and agreed to share his charger with me.
AFanofYourStory: I can't promise when I'd be able to get it done, but I'm definitely interested in that prompt! Thank you!
Anyways, I just want to wish you all a Merry belated Christmas! And a Happy New Year, because, wow, that's coming up fast!
And of course, a super huge thank you to all my wonderful reviewers: radpineapple, AnotherAwkwardFangirl, Manticore-Gurl071134 and AFanofYourStory! You guys are seriously the best!
It was Martin who found it the first time.
He'd gone into his lab first thing in the morning, bleary eyed and with tufts of hair sticking up in unusual places, muttering something about completing a formula.
He'd stumbled right back out again.
The rest of the Legends had been seated around the breakfast table.
They hadn't expected Martin to join them, snag a cup of tea and leave, saying something about the ship going mad.
No one knew what he was talking about.
Rip found it the second time. It was just… sitting there.
Cheerful eyes, rosy cheeks, pointed red hat and frilly white collar and all, it just sat there.
In his study.
His study.
For a moment, all he could do was stare blankly.
Then he swallowed. "Gideon?"
"Yes, Captain?"
"Explain."
"The Elf on the Shelf is a Christmas tradition. Usually parents leave it around the house, changing its location each night and telling children it's one of Santa's elves, keeping tabs on their behaviour."
Well that was… honestly a little creepy.
And now it was on his ship.
Rip sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"Gideon, you know who did this, don't you?"
The A.I. was silent.
"And you're not going to tell me, aren't you?"
"The culprit has asked that I keep their secret. However, if you gave me a command, I would have no choice but to comply with your request."
Rip exhaled once through his nose.
"Do you wish to give me a command, Captain?"
Rip sighed again. "No. Not at present, Gideon."
He was going to figure this out for himself.
Jax found it the third time.
He rounded a corner and suddenly he was face to face with the cheeky, wide-eyed smile.
He'd cursed, taken a staggering step back and then been thankful only Gideon was present to witness his humiliation.
Mick was the fourth.
By now, everyone on the team knew about their sweet-visaged visitor.
As of yet, though, no one knew who the guilty party was, except, of course, for Gideon and the said guilty party.
What exactly Mick had been doing in the kitchen was the second mystery, but nobody bothered to ask that.
They had all been drawn by the smell of smoke and, when you share a ship with Mick Rory, that was never a good thing.
And there it was.
What had once been the Elf on the Shelf now lay as a pile of melted plastic and half burned clothes.
Gideon had put out the fire, but not before the damage had been irreparable.
The Elf on the Shelf was well and truly "dead."
Rip wasn't sure how to process the emotions that warred within him.
There was anger. Of course there was anger.
Fire… and on his ship. That was unacceptable (not to mention the stench was unbearable.)
Yet he also felt… perhaps a small measure of… relief? The creature had practically invaded his ship.
It had hadn't been for very long, but he wasn't sure he wanted to be surprised by those eyes again.
Mick had already stormed off, saying nothing more than it had been a menace. Rip made a note to go after him later.
Fire was not an acceptable means of handling one's problems.
Jax shook his head. "Good riddance."
Ray cocked his head. "Actually, it was kind of cute."
"I for one," Martin said firmly, "am glad that it's gone."
The next day it showed up again.
Ray, as luck would have it, was the first person who happened upon it. He, at least, seemed happy to see it return.
Mick was the second person.
He cursed, seeing the same angelic expression he thought he'd destroyed, and stormed out of the room.
He knew better than to attempt another burning. Rip had already given him what he'd like to think of as a stern talking to… and it certainly helped that he threatened to cut off his access to alcohol… though he wasn't sure how he was going to accomplish that.
It wasn't worth the risk.
"I suppose it would have been too much to ask that it disappear permanently." Martin shook his head, frustrated and dismayed.
"I kind of like it." Sara smirked.
Snart found it next.
It was strategically located directly outside his quarters.
Spying on him.
Which was ridiculous considering it wasn't real.
But that was the intention of whoever had placed it there.
To mess with him.
Thoroughly fed up, he left the doll where it was, and stormed off in search of the likely culprit.
Ray Palmer was, predictably, working on a few adjustments to his Atom suit.
Not being one to beat around the bush, Snart crossed his arms immediately. "So what's the idea?"
Ray did a good job hiding his surprise. It only showed in the way his shoulders tightened.
"I'm sorry?"
His confusion was apparent. And genuine.
That threw Snart off. He wouldn't have been surprised to learn that the elf doll was Raymond's idea. But… Ray was a terrible liar.
If he'd been guilty, Snart was sure he'd have been able to see right through him.
Ray was being sincere.
Still, he wasn't going to drop it.
"I found a guest outside my room this morning."
"A… guest?" Understanding dawned on his face. "Oh, you mean the elf. Someone left the elf outside the door."
"And that someone wasn't you?" Snart sound skeptical at best.
"What? No." Ray shook his head. "It wasn't me. I wouldn't have it someplace so obvious."
Snart raised an eyebrow.
"So the first person you thought of when you found it was me, right?" Ray pointed out. "So I would have left it someplace less obvious."
He went back to his suit, leaving his explanation at that.
Snart believed him.
Sara was in the training deck, working out on the salmon ladder.
Snart decided to give her a moment before interrupting her.
Turned out he didn't need to.
Sara noticed him and dropped down from the ladder. "So," she said, wiping her hands off on her sweats, "what brings you down here, Snart?"
"Let's just say a mutual friend of ours."
Sara raised an eyebrow, bemused.
"The elf."
"So you found him."
"And you put him there."
Sara didn't deny it. "You gonna spoil my secret?" she asked, eyes twinkling.
"Depends."
"On what?"
"On my mood," Snart drawled. He knew better than to try and make Sara squirm. It never worked.
"And how do you feel now?" She was grinning. She was enjoying this, taking some perverse pleasure from the whole scenario with the elf.
He smirked in return, a possibilities lighting in his mind like a dozen light bulbs. "Like we could have some fun with this before this all ends."
Did anyone else do the elf on the shelf tradition when they were kids? My family did it one year and, well, I can't say we believed it came from Santa (though we did try to convince the littlest ones that it did) but it was still a great experience!
Again, Merry Christmas and Happy New Years to you all!