Disclaimer: Do I really need one? Everybody knows I don't own twilight.

Chapter 6

The Face of Beauty

In the fraction of a second, my heart froze. It was as though a million of ice-cold arrows had penetrated it, all on the same time. I became numb, immobile, frozen.Edward had a fiancée? He had found the girl he wanted to marry? All hopes of that that special girl might be me were brutally crushed.

In Paris, I had never thought of the boys I had gotten to know there in a romantic way. My mind had always drifted to Edward, and how good my life had been in Forks. But not even once had I thought of that Edward might look at other girls than just me. It wasn't as if we had had anything special, apart from those two kisses. It was natural for it to end, when I had been forced to move.

The reason for why the thought hadn't hit me earlier was unknown. Maybe I had been so deadly sure that Edward wasn't interested in anyone else, and anyone else in Edward, that the thought had been pushed away. Other, more relevant and current, thoughts, had come before in the line of all the things to think about.

As I stared blindly at the girl in front of me, I felt how a paralyzing and cold feeling slowly started to form in my toes, to rise to my legs, to my chest, and finally occupy my head. It was as if I had just entered my own bubble. A bubble, where the outside sounds had been blocked out, and where there was only a vague sight of the environment around me. Suddenly, my ability to breath worsened. If I had ever experienced mental pain before, it was nothing to how I felt now. I was heartbroken, ruined, beyond repair.

Of course he would take me to see his fiancée, he thought of me as his best friend. A person he'd want his fiancée to meet. I had been a fool to think that he thought of me as anyone besides a friend. Because that was what I was, and what I would remain. A stabbing pain echoed through me the minute the thought crossed my mind.

Could it really be true? Was this it? The end? Of everything? Edward was going to live with this girl forever, the rest of his life… Every teeny, tiny, little, possibility of that one day, Edward would be with me was now cruelly taken away. I would be alone, forever. I would die, one rainy day in October, as an old spinster, with mean cats as only company.

"Hi," the girl in front of me said in a voice sweeter than honey. She smiled wider to me, and I could swear I saw her teeth glisten. Her beauty was so obvious that it was impossible to not notice it. In a way, she looked better than Edward. There was inexorable excellence in her face. A throbbing needle of jealousy accompanied the ice-cold arrows, and penetrated my heart. "I'm Sheila," she said and reached her hand out. "You must be Bella, Edward's told me so much about you." A relentless smile was still on her face.

I couldn't bring myself to speak; I was too shocked. The entire situation seemed surreal. Was I really being introduced to Edward's fiancée? For real, was this happening for real?

Wordlessly, I shook her hand, staring at her. How could she be so pretty?

Edward gently pushed me in the side – he wanted me to speak.

I feebly blinked a few times before answering. "Yes, I-I'm Bella," I stuttered slowly, stumbling over the words.

She smiled soothingly, and her eyes amazed me. Those eyes, it was as though they had absorbed all the light there ever was, and shone magically wherever she was. Another stung of jealousy stabbed my heart.

"It's so great to finally meet you!" Sheila insisted. "I'm pretty sure Edward's told me every single thing there is to know about you!"

I slowly glanced towards my right, where Edward was fidgeting nervously. Didn't he want me to know that? Why? If the situation had been reversed, I would have made sure to tell my fiancé every possible detail there ever was about Edward.

"Would you two like to stay for some tea?" Mrs. Williams asked friendly. Her statement startled me; it was as though I had forgotten that she was in the room with us. Sheila's breathtaking appearance had stolen all the attention I had once had for her mother.

"I don't drink tea," I said. Oh, great, Bella! What a perfect first impression you give them!

"I'm sure we can find you something else," Sheila assured me. Inside, I wanted to scream. Sheila was everything – beautiful, nice and kind. It would only be a matter of minutes before I would find out that she had just gotten a scholarship for inventing a new kind of way to prevent cancer from spreading. I was sure about that. Edward couldn't have picked a more perfect fiancée, and it tore me apart.

I simply nodded, and followed her into a small living room. An odd looking couch in a strange pattern was placed in the corner, there were green plants everywhere, a white table in front of the couch, and a red terracotta wallpaper was spread over the walls.

"Nice living room," was the best I managed to choke out as we slowly sauntered forward towards the couch. I briefly let my gaze fly across the room, and realized that the inside of this house looked exactly like I had imagined. It was as if it had been taken from a children's book.

"Thank you," Sheila said. "I like it too, I want to have one just like this when we move in together! Though I'd like a bit brighter wallpaper, and maybe a few more…"

"You're moving in together?" I interrupted. A chilly shiver ran down my spine in shock. It had been a sign, now I knew that all hope was lost, forever.

"Well, yeah," Sheila said with a nervous laugh. "I mean, we're engaged. It figures… doesn't it?"

I presumed it did. But one small part of me, deep, deep, down, still clung desperately to the idea that Sheila might one day disappear from Edward's life. I wanted it to happen, and surprisingly, I didn't feel the tiniest bit bad about it.

"When?" I asked, playing casual. My goal was to pretend that their engagement didn't bother me, even though it would be difficult to fool Edward. He was the person who knew me best in the entire world.

"It depends on when we find a proper place to live…"

"It could take months," Edward quickly filled in.

"I suppose so, yes," Sheila mused.

I nodded slowly, and politely took a cookie from a plate Mrs. Martin was holding out.

"So, you don't go to Forks High School, then?" I asked, nibbling on the edges of my cookie. Mrs. Martin sure knew how to bake, even though I was a bit embarrassed to admit it. "I've never seen you there…"

"I graduated last year actually," Edward's marrying an older girl? "I'm taking this year off though, to work on my book," she informed me.

Your book? What's that one about, unicorns?

"Oh, a book. What's it about?" I asked with faked curiosity. Her conversation was almost ridiculous. It felt so wrong in my ears; Edward wasn't supposed to marry a girl like this. She was wrong for him. He needed to be with someone more like… me? It felt selfish to think the thought. Maybe I was selfish. The possibility was reasonable. I was blinded by my jealousy of Sheila. She was the girl who was going to marry Edward, walk down the aisle, and tell him two enchanted words that would confirm her feelings for him. My stomach turned at the thought.

It was obvious; I was looking for excuses, faults, flaws, in Sheila, that would make her less worth in Edward's eyes. And to my surprise, I didn't feel bad about it. I had barely met Sheila, and I still had hundreds of prejudices. A vague thought reminded me of that everything was allowed in love. But how true was that, actually?

I didn't even listen when Sheila told me a detailed description of her, soon to be ready, book. All the while, one thought was pounding hard like a hammer inside of me: Not her.

"But enough about me," Sheila suddenly said, surprising me. "Tell me a bit about yourself, Bella!" she encouraged. "I want to know everything, from your point of view," she added and glanced at Edward with a determined look on her face. "You're Edward's best friend, I want to get to know you."

I blushed at her eagerness. Reluctantly, I realized that she was a very nice person. Nobody had ever before wanted to know anything about me, maybe because they saw that there was very little to know.

"There isn't much to know about," I explained shyly, gazing down at the carpet, observing its pattern very thoroughly.

"Well tell me one thing at least!" she pressed, the happy spark still hadn't disappeared from her eyes.

How did she do that? How could she be so happy all the time?

"I live with my dad Charlie, here in Forks. My mom lives in Phoenix, with her husband Phil…"

"How long have you been friends with Edward?"

"It feels like we've always been friends… Edward's a great friend." Handsome, kind, generous, sweet, and he has the softest lips…

Sheila nodded, and as I sat quiet, she realized that she would have to be the one asking the questions. Surprisingly, she didn't seem to mind or become irritated over the fact that I was quiet and shy as a mouse.

"What do you like to do in your spare time?"

I flushed. She had asked me a very embarrassing question, because I didn't do anything at all. Sports had never been my thing; I wasn't even a fan of walks. If I ever had spare time, I studied, or called Edward (at least when I hadn't been in Paris). The thought of telling Sheila that was not tempting – I didn't want to come off as plainer than I already was.

"I like reading…" I began slowly. It wasn't a lie. Sheila didn't have to know that I only read my favorite books again and again and again, my taste in books consisted of a very small circle of literature.

Her eyes lit up even more; they were so shockingly bright and beautiful.

I realized why Edward had proposed to her, she was more than perfect. Deep down, I saw that she would be good to him. Both of them were just as perfect and smart as the ideal couple was. I could forget ever getting together with Edward. Even if Sheila didn't exist, it wouldn't have worked out – I was too much of a mediocre, and I would always be.

"I love books!" she exclaimed enthusiastically, and it wouldn't surprise me if she had started to jump up and down in her seat. "That's why I'm writing one. A good book is everything, right Bella?"

"Er…" I started. "Sure."

She smiled in contentment.

I simply couldn't believe it. Edward was going to marry this girl, whether I liked it or not. They were to spend the rest of their lives together. I was suddenly overwhelmed by an instant dizziness as the realization hit me.

As I thought back to my brooding, it struck me as odd that I hadn't realized the truth earlier. It would have spared me all the breathtaking pain that was now boiling inside of me.

"Do you do any sports?" she continued to ask.

My brain froze. What was I going to answer? The truth, a vague voice whispered inside my head. Edward will know if you lie.

"I don't do any sports, actually," I said matter-of-factly, hoping to sound confident. "It's not my strong side, really."

"Oh," Sheila said, sounding extremely surprised. I bet she'd never met anyone who didn't spend her free time with swimming or playing tennis. "Then I have to take you playing racquetball!" she insisted in the same enthusiastic voice as before. "It's the best sport, really."

"Sheila's the second best in Washington," Mrs. Martin bragged, and I was astonished to hear her voice. I had completely forgotten that she was in the room at all; even Edward's presence was very subtle for me.

Now it was Sheila's time to blush. "Mom," she complained, but then turned serious again. "Edward and I have to take you playing racquetball!"

I tore my gaze from Sheila to Edward. "You play racquetball?"

"Sheila taught me," he explained with a weak smile.

"You're actually very good," Sheila told him, and took his hand. Simply the gesture set an incredible pain free inside of me. This time, it wasn't ice-cold arrows. This time, it was as though someone had cut out my heart, sliced it in a million pieces, and then put the small pieces back into my chest again.

To everybody's surprise, Edward quickly, but gently, pulled his hand away from Sheila's grip, and turned to look me into my eyes. "You don't have to," he said softly, and his eyes enchanted me. Who could not want to look into them forever? Green, piercing, penetrating, emerald, eyes. Green would have to be my new favorite color. I would never change that decision.

We spent the next hour in Sheila's living room, mostly talking about her and me. I was longing for the moment when I would sit in Edward's car alone with him, and be able to fantasize about that there was no Sheila Martin in the world. Only Edward Cullen, and Bella Swan. If only Edward and I had been the only persons in the entire world, how easy everything would have been. Then he would have realized that we were meant to be together, forever. And that nothing could change that.

It was almost a moment of gigantic relief when Edward said that he had to take me home. I silently thanked him a hundred times in my head as I rose from my seat, and casually strolled out the room, trying to disguise my relief the best I could. This time, I actually thought that I managed.

"You're getting married?" I asked in disbelief as the door closed behind us.

He shot me a perplexed look. "Yes…" he began hesitantly. "What's the problem? Don't you like Sheila?"

I shifted my gaze towards the ground; consciously I didn't answer his question about Sheila. "Don't you think it's a bit too – how am I going to say this? Don't you think it's a bit too fast? How long have you even known her?"

"Five months," he said slowly, gazing up at the sky. Raindrops were still falling heavily to the soaked ground. We were standing under the small ceiling under the porch; it didn't give an entire protection against the rain. My shoes, which had managed to dry a little bit while we had been inside, were now almost completely wet again.

"Do you even know her inside and out? The way you're supposed to know your bride-to-be?" Do you know her the way you know me? I added inside my head.

"I don't know," he mused, frowning.

I looked up. "Don't you think eighteen is a bit early to get engaged?"

"I don't know," he repeated, the same puzzled expression spread across his face. There was a brief silence.

"Then if you don't know, why did you ask her to marry you?"

I had crossed the line, walked in on a dangerous territory, put my nose where it didn't belong, Edward noticed that, and lowered his gaze to meet mine. "What are you trying to say, that I shouldn't get married?" he retorted.

He had caught me off guard, I opened my mouth to reply, but out came no words. My brain was emptied on proper ideas to say back to him.

He eyed me carefully with a hard gaze, the confusion raging in his eyes.

I knew what was going on inside his head. He hadn't expected this. I had erratically spoken out loud, and made a grave mistake, as it turned out. It was wrong, what I had done. Edward was my best friend, and he had expected that I would have supported him, wished him the best of luck and hugged him in a friendly gesture. But little did he know, that my deepest of all wishes had been brutally crushed the minute I had walked over that threshold, and found out that the man of my dreams was marrying the most beautiful girl in Forks.

It all could easily be described with one word – jealousy. Still, I didn't want to blame it on that. I knew myself well, and was aware of that I was a fairly selfish creature. If you paid close attention, you could see that I had been defending myself when I had asked Edward those questions. I wanted him back at my pitch, and not Sheila's. I wanted to win, win Edward. I wanted him to spend the rest of his life with me, not with a breathtaking blonde who wrote books and played racquetball in her free time.

Even though what I wanted most in the world was to flung the door behind us open, run inside and beat the crap out of Sheila by pulling out her glistening honey blonde curls and spit in her face (which looked pretty even without makeup), I knew that I couldn't do it. As Edward had spoken aloud my thoughts, I realized that it was time to back off. Edward would be hurt if I continued to let my thoughts run freely out of my mouth.

"No…" I said lowly. "No, that's not what I meant."

"Then what do you mean Bella?"

I mean that I think you should screw Sheila, open your freaking eyes and realize that there's more than one girl who only has eyes for you!

I didn't respond. He took that as a negative sign.

"Of course," he said to himself and shook his head, and then his eyes met mine again. "You know, for this once I really expected you to understand. I truly hoped that you'd be happy for me, just this once."

It felt as if someone had punched me with full force into my face. The pain was indescribable. That couldn't be true, couldn't it?

He continued. "I don't know why I even took you here. I think I always knew that you wouldn't like her, but still I was so stubborn on introducing the two of you. I wanted you to meet her, I wanted you to meet Sheila, and I wanted you to realize who helped me tackle being away from you."

Another blow, this time in my chest.

"Maybe it was stupid, but I thought you'd like her, see her as the lovely person she is…"

My brain was emptied on things to say. Only Edward was ringing in my mind. Common sense told me to answer him, to explain, to tell him that it hadn't been my intention on letting him down. I wanted to support him, only I didn't want Sheila involved.

"Edward," I managed to choke out, and he glared angrily at me.

"What is it Bella?" he said in a softer voice.

"I want to go home," I croaked, the water building up behind my eyes. Stupid, callous, tears. I couldn't cry now, not in front of Edward.

He nodded once, and stepped out in the rain.

We didn't run back to the car, as I'd expected. Instead we walked slowly, side by side, the atmosphere as gray and stiff as the cloud of rain over us. I didn't want to be the one to quicken up the pace, so I followed nicely next to him, without uttering a word.

I couldn't bring myself to apologize. In a way, it was so difficult, too difficult. Because I didn't want to apologize, I didn't regret saying those things to him. For me, it was the truth, and nothing could change that. If Edward was marrying someone else, I no longer had anything to lose. I was going to fight for him; I was going to risk it all. What was the worst thing that could happen? Of course, I could lose his friendship, one of the things that I valued most in the world. But what did that mean, if I didn't get to tell him every day how much I liked him? How much I thought of him and how much I missed him without having to blush nervously as he creased his forehead, brooding on what I had meant with the words. If I couldn't be together with Edward, then I didn't know what to do. It would be next to impossible to continue being his best friend, when I deep down felt so much more for him.

He drove me home in complete and absolute silence. It surprised me; he was never quiet in his car. Too, he didn't bother as our clothes, damp with water, soaked down the seats. I knew Edward enough to know that his car was one of his most precious belongings. Since I understood that he was secretly begging me to not make his seat more soaked than it was, I sat very still, hoping to make his car as little damage as possible.

I never received a reply from him as he stopped the Volvo violently in front of my house, making the pavement screech in protest under us. I looked pleadingly into his eyes before opening the door.

"Edward –," I started, the disappointment and sadness visible in my eyes. My voice broke as I tried to continue.

"Just go," he breathed, looking straightforward towards the door. To know that I was the one causing him the pain I knew was raging inside of him was more than painful.

Without a word, I obeyed his demand and slammed the door shut behind me, the tears running freely across my cheeks. As I reached the door, they overwhelmed me and started to in a frequent, determined pace. They never came to a stop, and I slowly started to sob. What had I done? The answer was, for me, clear as crystal – I had damaged everything, beyond repair.

A/N: Sorry for the delay with the update, and sorry I left you hanging. It's just that I've been really busy in school this week, loads of home works plus in Physics and Biology we have this LEGO project, and my team made it to the finals, which means more work… I'll update next weekend, I promise you that!

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