Chapter 18:
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
The word bounced around Ranma's head, driving out all other thoughts.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
How could she be pregnant because even she knew what caused pregnancy and she had never done that with anyone except for that one time with Akane but even that may have gotten Akane pregnant not her because she had been male then and even Jusenkyo couldn't be that twisted and it wouldn't make any sense no matter how she looked at it even considering the fact that she hadn't had her period yet despite it having been expected a couple of days ago which was yet another joy which Jusenkyo had brought into her life and that pregnancy could possibly explain why she was stuck but that didn't come close to possibly explaining how she could even be pregnant in the first place and moreover even if she was pregnant how could Venge know?
"What makes you think I'm pregnant?" Ranma accused with a shaky voice, asking the very question Minako had just been thinking.
It was the third question which had come to mind. The first question had been, "What's going on here?" and the second one had been, "What's Saotome-san going to do now?" Unlike those other two questions, though, this one actually had a chance of being answerable by Venge.
Venge looked nonplussed for a second but answered, still in her celebratory tone, "It's one of the things I can do with my magic. It looks like you're going to have a healthy baby girl. A blessing to be sure in this war-torn world. Congratulations."
"But I couldn't... I haven't... There's absolutely no way..." Ranma said, confused and flustered. A bright blush came to her cheeks. Minako could feel a flush coming to her cheeks as well due to the intimate topic of conversation.
"Well, I feel three energy sources from you. There's a really large one which overshadows everything else. Based on what you've told me that's probably that heart crystal you rescued from that other world. However there's another one inside you too. It looks like it is just starting to be formed so it must have happened in the past few days," Venge explained.
"Aha! Then you must have made a mistake. Akane and I definitely haven't done anything like that in the past few weeks," Ranma declared. She sounded triumphant and relieved.
Minako felt a stab of guilt at this declaration. She had known that the business with the Sailor Senshi and Sailor Terra had put a strain on Ranma's and Akane's relationship, but she hadn't realized exactly to what extent it had. They were newlyweds too. It somehow hurt more to hear it said out loud how estranged the two had become rather than it just being understood.
Ami speculated, "What about that heart crystal? It's not like we know much about absorbing them. Maybe it did something to you."
"That heart crystal certainly has the power to spare. I suppose if the timing was right when you had absorbed it that this could have been the result," Venge speculated as well.
Ranma's face quickly became cold and inscrutable. Minako felt like she could have been staring at a frozen glacier for all of the reaction Ranma showed despite the monumental things that were happening to her. It was a very unusual reaction. Based on her extensive knowledge from the shows on television, Minako knew that the reactions of expectant mothers upon learning they were pregnant really split into two groups. The first group was delighted at the news, acting with varying degrees of joy and mania. The second, and larger, group despaired and was generally terrified of the pregnancy. The thing both groups had in common was a strong, extensive, visible emotional reaction. In short, they reacted like Ranma had upon Venge's first declaration. None of them reacted like Ranma was acting now, with a newly found icy passivity.
"Wait. If that heart crystal caused this, does it mean that removing it will cause problems?" Minako asked.
Ranma's face remained inscrutable.
"I doubt it. I guess it's possible that the removal of that much magic might be problematic, but seeing how they are three separate heart crystals I doubt it. If this heart crystal really was absorbed just a few days ago then I'm sure Ranma's fully developed body and heart crystal would be able to survive without it, and mothers have been able to support their children since time immemorial, but it's an unstudied phenomenon and I can't say it's without risk for the embryo," Venge answered.
"Let's do it," Ranma declared, her voice and face remaining an impassive neutral despite everything. The speed of the declaration surprised Minako. She would have assumed that Ranma wouldn't have been so cavalier with the potential life of an unborn child at stake.
"Are you sure?" Ami asked. "It could be dangerous."
"You said it yourself. It's not like we got any other options if we want to get home. I can't speak for you two, but I want to get back to our world," Ranma said.
So maybe her quick agreement was a good sign that things between Ranma and Akane weren't as bad as Minako had thought they were, and that Ranma really wanted to return home quickly. Yet Ranma had spoken so flatly that she could have been talking about something as banal as what the time of the day was.
Ranma turned to Venge and asked, "So what now?"
"There's nothing I can do. Even if I could take the crystal by force there's no way I'd do that. You're the one who will need to give it to me, Ranma-san," Venge said.
Ranma held her hand out and closed her eyes. In moments a gem slowly manifested in her outstretched hand. She held it out to Venge and, with the same flat affect she had had since a few minutes ago, said, "Here. Be careful. It'd be a shame if the same thing happened to you that happened to me."
"Don't worry I won't be absorbing it directly. Ignoring the risk of doing that, I wouldn't be able to use it very effectively that way," Venge said.
Venge held her hand out, a white light growing around it like it always seemed to do when she was in the process of using her magic. At some unseen cue she reached out and took the crystal from Ranma. There it stayed visible and firm, even as the white light dimmed from around Venge.
"Amazing," Venge whispered. "You'll be happy to know that it seems like the fetus remains healthy as well. That's a relief."
No reaction, either positive or negative, from Ranma. This was getting weird.
Venge pressed on, saying, "Let's see about sending you back home now."
"How will you know where to send us?" Ami asked quickly.
"I won't actually be directly sending you anywhere; I'll be trying to get you to return to your own world. If everything goes well I shouldn't need to know where that is for this to work; you'll just return home. The concept is pretty simple, it just takes an insane amount of magic," Venge said. "I'm starting now. Be ready. I have no idea where you'll be going and what you'll be facing there. I can't guarantee you'll be landing in a safe place."
Venge then held the gem in her hand towards the trio and closed her eyes. A brilliant white sprang up all around her, very different than the slow buildup Minako had witnessed in the past. Seconds passed. Then minutes. Finally Venge collapsed to her knees, breathing heavily.
"Umm... we're still here," Minako said flatly.
"Obviously," Ranma stated.
"Sorry. I wasn't able to do it. I don't seem to be strong enough to pierce the dimensional barrier for you after all. I'm sorry," Venge said. If anything, Venge looked the most disappointed of all of them.
"So what now?" Ami asked.
"Well I wasn't able to help you out, so I suppose I should return this to you," Venge said, holding the crystal out towards Ranma.
Ranma backed away from the gem, saying, "No you don't. I don't want anything else to do with it."
"You're sure about that?" Venge asked skeptically. "Then Ami-san, Minako-san, which one of you two wants it?"
"Not me. No way," Minako said, avoiding the crystal as if it contained bubonic anthrax or flesh-eating ebola or something. It was true that she wanted to have children at some point, but not when she was 16, and certainly not with some strange magic crystal as the father. Maybe in a few years after she had graduated from school and had met her prince: tall, handsome, romantic, rich...
"I'll pass as well," Ami declined too, albeit with less reaction than Minako had shown.
"Well, if you're sure," Venge said. "You three are really strange. I could think of countless people who would literally kill for this much power. Oh well. On the other hand I did just get it. If we try again in a few weeks, once I've managed to practice a bit, we might have better luck then."
"That's assuming we're still here and haven't left some other way," Ranma said.
"That is true. Hopefully you'll find some other way to return to your world. In the meantime, we are long past time to retire for the evening. Confederacy territory might still be several days away but we mustn't get sloppy," Venge announced.
Taking their cue, the guards as well as the three travelers broke and setup camp. The sun was low on the horizon, but there was still time to get everything prepared before the world was once again plunged into moonlit darkness.
Over the past few days, Minako, Ami, and Ranma had figured out the procedures of camp and could now actually help setup some tents. Unlike normal, though, rather than help, this time Ranma had gone off to the side, made a fire, and was heating some water. When it was fully boiling she poured it over her head, to no effect. She then put more water on the fire.
Minako was watching what must have been a painful ritual repeat over and over from an appropriate distance away. It was in its fourth cycle when Venge approached her.
In a low voice Venge whispered, "Keep an eye on Ranma-san. Something's wrong with her."
"What do you mean? She looks fine to me," Minako said.
"Something about her feels wrong to me. I don't know her very well so can't do anything, but I'm hoping you and Ami-san can help her somehow," Venge said earnestly.
"Okay, I'll talk to Ami-chan and keep an eye on her. I still think there's nothing wrong, but better safe than dead," Minako said.
"That's all I can ask for," Venge said, then wandered off again.
Off to the side, Ranma poured the water she had prepared over her head again, with still no visible effect.
Minako thought Venge's warning was strange. Ranma must have been healthy if she was strong enough to pour boiling water over her head so many times without seriously injuring herself. Come to think of it, they never had told Venge or the others what the deal with the hot water was, had they? Oh well, it probably didn't really matter.
Several days had passed since Venge had first tried to send Ami, Minako, and Ranma back to their home world. The group was now firmly in Confederacy territory and were getting close Endymion's last known position. While there was no guarantee they would be able to find the leader of the Confederacy there, there was every reason to expect that he would be nearby and would appear once it was known that Venge had come to parley.
For the journey, Ami had continued to ride in the carriage with Venge. The doors were thick enough that what they talked about couldn't be heard from outside the vehicle above the random noises of nature and traveling all around them, but whenever the door was opened at the end of the day Ami and Venge would emerge in the middle of some animated discussion filled with technical jargon which Ranma had no chance of understanding.
Minako seemed to have bonded with some of their new-found companions as well, spending a fair bit of time on the journey talking to various guards, most notably Turquoise. Their conversations were far easier to follow, both because they weren't talking behind closed doors as well as for the content of their discussions. Turquoise usually asked Minako about life back in Tokyo, and Minako had been more than happy to oblige.
In Ranma's opinion nothing Minako spoke about sounded too extraordinary. Minako censored out most of the business of being a Sailor Senshi and instead just described the relatively ordinary life of a schoolgirl in Tokyo. Turquoise, on the other hand, seemed routinely flabbergasted at the world Minako described with its cities of millions, mass media, and countless other trivialities which Ranma took for granted. Hearing Turquoise's reaction to things such as telephones and magazines cast almost as much light on the world Ranma now found herself in as Minako's description of Tokyo did of their home world.
Ranma noticed all of these details and countless others, properly cataloged them for future use in case they ever became needed.
She was very dispassionately analytical recently, that being the main effect of the Soul of Ice technique she now found herself using all the time. The technique protected her, shielded her from the chaos which had suddenly taken over her life. It gave her the clarity to properly analyze her situation without the distraction of pesky little things like emotions. It also prevented her from properly disliking the conclusions she had come up, no matter how distasteful they were.
She was pregnant. She was relatively sure of that. In addition to Venge's confident assertion of that fact there were other signs too, the most prominent being that her period was late. She had been expecting it weeks ago. She might have only been a woman part-time, but despite that her period still seemed to follow a regular pattern, and Ranma had gotten used to predicting it fairly accurately over the years. Each day which passed since Venge's announcement only made her more certain of her condition. There were other minor symptoms as well. All of this evidence might have been circumstantial, but there was a lot of it and it all agreed.
Starting from that foundation, what happened next was inevitable. The contract was quite clear. She was to be a man among men or perform seppuku. It was obvious that she couldn't possibly be a man among men while she was a woman, and moreover was pregnant. Her mother's assurances of her manliness no longer applied, the circumstances having materially changed since the time she had saved her mother's life. She would need to perform the ritual suicide. Not even Genma would be able to weasel out of this. It was a shame that he wasn't around to fulfill his part of the contract as well, but that didn't let her off the hook in any way.
For that matter, she didn't regret having to perform seppuku either. After all, what did she have to lose? She was stuck in female form, and pregnant to boot. Her marriage to Akane had failed in everything but name. She was trapped all alone on a world far away from home with no possibility of getting back. Besides the clothes on her back, Ranma only really had one thing left.
It was the one thing she had had her entire life. The one thing Genma had tried to sell over and over but somehow, despite all of the hijinks and impossible situations she had found herself in, Ranma had managed to maintain throughout everything. Her honor.
It all made sense to her. The Soul of Ice let it all make sense. It washed away her turbulent emotions and gave her the ice-cold clarity which she so desperately needed. Seppuku was really the only thing left to do, the only option remaining. For that she needed help.
Ranma waited until the group had stopped for the day. She couldn't perform the ritual suicide properly while the group was on the move, and she wasn't about to let her selfishness cause any problems for everybody else. Impatience, like every emotion, was definitely not a problem while she was using the Soul of Ice.
"Can I get your help to act as kaishaku for seppuku?" Ranma asked Turquoise once camp had been properly set up for the day, getting straight to the point and not bothering with the frivolities of greeting or the other pointless cruft of conversation.
Turquoise turned to face Ranma and asked, "Oh, hey, Ranma-san. I didn't hear you approach. What's a kaishaku? I've never heard of that before."
"It's an assistant for seppuku. I am going to perform the ritual and will need one," Ranma said.
"Seppuku? I'm not familiar with that ritual either," Turquoise said.
"It's a ritual suicide. I'm going to take a dagger and use it to cut open my stomach. After that the kaishaku, that would be you, will use a sword to cut off my head. It's usually considered best to leave a bit of skin at the front of the neck to keep it slightly attached, and it takes a great deal of skill with the sword to do so," Ranma explained. Throughout her explanation her tone was completely flat and non-emotive, speaking as factually as if she were talking about what she had had for lunch. Almost as an afterthought, she added, "It's a shame I don't have any white robes, but I suppose it will have to do."
"What? You want to commit suicide and you want me to help you? That's crazy! What do you want to do that for?" Turquoise shouted as much as asked.
"For honor," Ranma simply answered. Wasn't it obvious? Why else would somebody perform seppuku?
"Honor?" Turquoise asked. She then repeated herself, "Honor? That's a really dumb reason to commit suicide."
"Don't you care about honor?" Ranma asked.
"Honor is nice when you can afford it but it doesn't help you survive on a battlefield, and if it makes it so you can't help people who need it than it's worse than useless," Turquoise answered.
"So you won't help me then?" Ranma asked.
"No," Turquoise confirmed. "Look, I won't pretend to understand you and your weird customs. You do what you need to do. Just don't look to me to help you do something so stupid."
"Okay," Ranma said flatly with no trace of anything in her voice. She just turned around and wandered away from the woman.
She wasn't disappointed in Turquoise's answer. That would imply an emotion she didn't have. Nor was she annoyed, for the same reason. It did mean she had misunderstood Turquoise and would need to perform more work that she hadn't expected to have to do. It also left Ranma with something of a dilemma; who should approach next for help? The only two people she could think of were Minako and Ami, and neither was really accomplished with a sword. That would make the actual final blow they would deliver questionable at best, but Ranma was confident in her own abilities with a dagger. That should help mitigate that particular problem.
A bigger issue however, one which Ranma couldn't overcome, was that neither of the two girls really struck her as being particularly likely to assist her. Ami was more an intellectual girl and likely wouldn't have the ability or the proper attitude to be willing to help. Minako may have been slightly more combat tested, not that that was saying very much, but she struck Ranma as being more capricious and substantially less mature than Ami. It was hard to picture either of them holding a sword above her head, ready to end her suffering. Still, in the end, she didn't have much of a choice, and between the two of them Ranma decided that Ami was the lesser evil. If nothing else, Ranma was sure that Ami would at least take the ritual seriously.
When Ranma finally found Ami she was sitting and trying to figure out a way to make her meal more palatable. When she got close enough to talk, Ranma once again forwent the pointless greetings and small talk of conversation and directly said, "I need your help to act as kaishaku for me while I perform seppuku."
Ami choked and spat out a mouthful of water in front of her. Then, with her head down, she coughed several times. She choked out in between coughs, "Did you just say 'seppuku'?"
"Yes. It's a ritual suicide to cleanse the stain of dishonor," Ranma explained.
"I know what it is," Ami said, still coughing.
"So you know how serious it is then. Are you willing to help?" Ranma asked.
"Why are you going to perform seppuku?" Ami asked, shock and dismay coloring her voice.
"You remember what you overheard at the temple a few weeks ago, right?" Ranma asked. While her voice carried no tone of accusation, Ami still blanched at the reminder of her eavesdropping on Ranma and Rei and then her subsequently being caught. "I have a contract with my mother saying that if I failed to be a 'man among men' then I will perform seppuku."
"But you said that your mother said you were a 'man among men'," Ami protested.
"That was before I got stuck as a woman and became pregnant. What kind of 'man among men' is with child?" Ranma asked.
Ami didn't respond right away, looking lost in thought. A complex set of emotions danced across her face. That was fine. Ranma could be patient. Finally Ami asked, "Do you really think your mother would force you to perform seppuku if she knew what was going on?"
That was an interesting question. She had assumed that Nodoka would insist on it, but what did she know? She hadn't really learned too much about what drove her mother in the year she had actually known the woman. The typical Nerima hijinks had seen to that. She was always carrying that sword around, and she was always talking about honor, not to mention the constant references to the contract back when she had first met the woman.
A frown appeared on Ami's face when Ranma didn't immediately answer, and the longer Ranma thought about the question the deeper the frown became. Finally Ami could take it no more and said, "Well, even if you have the only mother in the world who would force her child to commit suicide in a brutally painful way, it doesn't matter what she would say. She isn't here so she can't force you to perform seppuku even if you think she would."
That was a much easier point to address. Ranma explained, "It doesn't matter if she's here or not, it's a matter of honor. It would be cowardly to hide from judgment when you know what it would be. That is the spirit of a samurai." She did absently notice how she had started to, ever so slightly, sound like Tatewaki Kuno.
"That's actually a complete fabrication. In reality samurai didn't really have much of a history of performing seppuku for honor," Ami said, slipping easily into the role of lecturer. "Think about it. It wouldn't do a daimyo much good if all of his samurai kept killing themselves for every little thing. While it's true it did happen from time to time, it was not nearly as much a part of the samurai tradition as the Japanese government suggested in their World War 2 propaganda. They just emphasized it as a way to build the national spirit and make people more willing to fight and fly kamikaze missions. Since then it has been popularized by mass media, but there is little evidence of significant amounts of seppuku during the Tokugawa Shogunate, and none at all from before that era."
Ranma dismissed this as not being pertinent to the action at hand and persisted in asking, "So will you help me or not?"
"No! There has to be something to live on for. I won't help you kill yourself for a stupid, old-fashioned, pointless reason," Ami said. "Promise me you won't do it."
Ranma didn't answer, instead wandering off.
Ami spilled the remainder of her dinner to the floor as she scrambled to follow after Ranma, but Ranma easily evaded her untrained pursuer. Given how poorly their discussion had gone, it wouldn't help her cause at all to have Ami following her when she tried to talk to Minako. Her presence could only make getting the girl's cooperation that much harder.
Ranma ended up finding Minako putting a tent up on the other side of the camp. She approached and asked, "Will you help me and act as kaishaku as I perform seppuku?"
It could have been comic if Ranma actually cared at all. The blonde girl kept working the tent for a few seconds, and then suddenly froze. After an abnormally long pause, she turned to stare at Ranma with a slightly gaped mouth. It took her a bit longer before she was finally able to ask, "What?"
"Will you help me and act as kaishaku as I perform seppuku?" Ranma asked again.
The second repeating of the question did Minako no good. She continued to stare. Louder and more incredulously this time she asked again, "What?"
"Will you help me and act as kaishaku as I perform seppuku?" Ranma asked yet again, as steadily and evenly as the first time she had asked the question.
"Seppuku? You mean seppuku right? As in suicide?" Minako asked, finally breaking through the mental block that had prevented her from processing Ranma's question.
"Yes," Ranma said.
"The one where you cut your stomach open in an extremely painful way, right?" Minako asked, dragging her finger across her stomach from left to right and then hooking it upward in a motion reminiscent of the blade used during the ritual. The shaking in her voice did not bode well.
"Yes," Ranma said, unperturbed.
"Why would you want to do that?" Minako asked, exasperated.
"It's a matter of honor," Ranma said, as if that would explain everything. It did.
"Honor? What honor? What did you do?" Minako asked.
"It's not what I did, it's what was done to me," Ranma explained.
"You mean the pregnancy?" Minako asked.
"That and being stuck as a girl," Ranma answered.
"But you didn't do anything wrong. You're just an innocent victim," Minako said.
"That doesn't matter. What kind of 'man among men' goes around bearing children? I have a contract to perform seppuku. My honor demands it," Ranma said.
"Don't give up the ship yet, there's always something to live for. Where's there's life there's hope. Don't give up your hope. Love is the greatest force in the universe, and love will win out in the end," Minako said in a torrent of words and emotion.
"If you say so," Ranma said, wandering off. It was obviously a lost cause. She would need to fall back to Plan D. The only question was what was Plan D?
Unlike Ami earlier, Minako didn't try to follow her.
Ranma sat in her tent, facing away from the entrance. There was a procedure for this and she was going to do it right if it was the last thing she would do. In fact, it would be the last thing she would do.
Failure to find a kaishaku had forced Ranma's hand, but that wasn't a problem. Improvisation and flexibility in the face of adversity were the hallmarks of Musabetsu Kakuto Ryuu after all. If she couldn't commit seppuku as befitting a samurai there was another way.
Jigai.
Somehow it was appropriate to commit suicide in the female way too. After all, the whole reason she was committing suicide was due to a failure of her manliness, being both trapped as a girl and being with child. What could possibly be more fitting than to die as the woman she now was?
Still, even if it weren't the complete rigid ceremony of seppuku, there was still a procedure in place for the ritual.
The first thing Ranma had needed was a knife. Ideally she would have used a tanto, but that was both an impossibility and not even that important as she understood it. The exact blade she used didn't matter too much, only that it was sharp. Actually a dull blade may have been better in some esoteric sense, as further self-remonstration and proof that she wasn't trying to take a cowardly way out, but success was far more important than any symbolic repentance, and success demanded a sharp knife.
Acquiring the knife had been easy enough. Several of the guards had had extras. One of them had been more than happy to give Ranma one, saying that he was relieved that Ranma finally seemed be taking her responsibilities of defending the group more seriously. He had also expressed some confusion as to why she had wanted a knife rather than a sword, but Ranma didn't explain.
The only other thing Ranma had needed was some rope. It was not strictly needed, but it was the proper way to do it. This proved a bit trickier to locate, but she had found some along with some extra rations and other basic supplies in a storage compartment in the carriage. She wasn't actually sure she should be taking it, but figured it was for a good cause and nobody had stopped her. It wasn't like they wouldn't be able to reuse it after she was done as well.
Ranma had taken everything back to her tent. It was an appropriate place for the ceremony, somewhere she was sure to be found but secluded enough that she wouldn't be interrupted. She was going to do this right, with all the honor of a samurai. A female samurai, possibly, but a samurai nonetheless.
The first thing she did was to tie her legs together in a kneeling position. The spasms of death would likely cause her to flail, and without a kaishaku to help end the pain quickly it would cause a mess. Tying her limbs would ensure that she was found in an appropriately dignified position. Likewise she turned away from the door, ensuring that the first person to enter wouldn't be immediately greeted by the gruesome sight of her bloody corpse. Instead, at first glance, it could even appear that she was just resting.
Actually that was all that Ranma needed to do in preparation. Really jigai was so much easier than seppuku, which was its point after all, letting women have a much faster and easier death they could perform themselves rather than the long drawn out public ritual that men had to do. No poem. No ritual cleaning. Really almost no ceremony at all.
The only thing left to do was the act itself.
Ranma picked up the knife and closely examined it one last time. It looked as keen as it had when she had first received it and it should be more than adequate for the job.
She raised the knife in the air.
She steadied herself to make sure she wouldn't slip or miss.
She pulled the knife towards her neck with all the speed and precision she could muster.
As the blood sprayed out, covering the walls of the tent, Ranma's only thought was how surprisingly little it had actually hurt.
Ranma then closed her suddenly tired eyes and thought no more.
"Ami-chan!" Minako called from across the camp. "There you are. I was looking everywhere for you."
"What a coincidence. I was looking for you too," Ami said, once the pair had gotten a little closer together.
"You were?" Minako asked.
"I just had the strangest conversation with Saotome-san," Ami explained.
"You too?" Minako asked.
"Yes. She came to me and asked me to act as kaishaku while she performed seppuku," Ami said, a shudder going through her at the conversation she had had a few minutes ago. "Was that what you were trying to tell me a few days ago, about her being strange? That she was suicidal?"
Minako got a thoughtful look on her face, which somehow had the effect of making her look less intelligent rather than more. She said, "Beats me. I was only telling you what Venge-sama had told me. I guess it could have been that."
"Saotome-san was acting so detached too, I should have noticed. That's one of the signs after all," Ami murmured to herself. She had noticed Ranma's detachment but hadn't thought too much about it at the time. Given the major events surrounding Ranma, her behavior really should have triggered suicide warning flags to Ami, but Ranma had seemed so not-depressed that Ami hadn't paid too much attention.
Ami then said in a more normal tone, addressing Minako, "Anyway that's all I wanted to warn you about, that Saotome-san was looking for a kaishaku and might try asking you later. Let me know if she does. Maybe together we can talk her out of it."
"Oh, is that all? That's why I was searching for you for too," Minako said.
"Oh?" Ami asked. That could be a bad sign.
"Yeah. I already talked to Saotome-san and it's all taken care of now. I was trying to find you to celebrate," Minako said.
"It is? Are you sure? Normally it takes a person a lot of counseling and maybe even some drugs to get over their suicidal tendencies," Ami said. It wasn't that she thought Minako was lying, but usually suicidal impulses took much more than a single short conversation to address.
"Of course I'm sure. I told her all about the power of love and friendship and everything. She left right after and didn't seem worried at all anymore," Minako said confidently.
"Saotome-san didn't seem worried while she was talking to me either," Ami said in growing alarm. "Saotome-san hasn't seemed much of anything for the past few days."
"Hmm... now that you mention it, she has been like that for a while," Minako said, once again adopting that look of trying to think too hard.
"We'd better go make sure she's okay," Ami said, resuming her search for Ranma.
Minako followed behind Ami, hurrying to keep up with the brisk pace Ami was setting. She asked, "Where do you think she went?"
"I don't know," Ami started saying, but then noticed Turquoise a bit away. "Wait, there's Turquoise-san. Maybe she's seen Saotome-san."
"Hey, Turquoise-san, have you seen Saotome-san around?" Minako called out to the guard.
"Saotome-san? You mean Ranma-san? I still don't get why you call her that. Anyway, yes, I saw her earlier," Turquoise said. "You people are strange. You live in a world where death doesn't hide around every corner waiting to pounce, and then you look for every stupid little reason to kill yourself."
Ami shared a glance with Minako, and then said, "That's not very normal. We think something's wrong with Saotome-san. That's why we're looking for her."
"Oh. Just more weirdness of that woman, I guess. She's an amazing fighter, but really strange," Turquoise said.
"You have no idea," Minako agreed.
"Anyway, we're looking for her. Have you seen her anywhere?" Ami asked, trying to get back to the topic at hand.
"I saw her maybe half an hour ago," Turquoise said.
"That's no good. That's before she talked to me," Ami said.
"So now what?" Minako asked while they left Turquoise's company.
Ami kept walking while she thought. If she were feeling suicidal, where would she herself go? Either some place to think about it, or some place to actually commit suicide. If Ranma was just thinking about it then there was no particular urgency in finding her, so focusing on where Ranma would go to actually commit suicide was the better option. It would need to be somewhere where she wouldn't be interrupted. Given her sudden obsession with honor it would also likely she would be found after doing it as well, to make her action known and to provide some kind of validation for it.
Ami suggested, "Maybe Saotome-san went to her tent?"
"I think I saw her setting up over there," Minako said, making her way across the camp to where she had seen Ranma earlier.
Minako scratched at the entrance of the tent when they reached it, giving warning of her pending intrusion, while calling out, "Hey, Saotome-san. You in there?" She then pushed the flap open.
Upon seeing the redhead lying on the floor, Minako said, "Oh, there you are, Sa..."
She froze.
"What's wron..." Ami asked, her voice abruptly cutting off as she poked her head into the tent as well.
Blood covered the walls and the floor of the tent.
"Saotome-san!" Ami screamed. She brutally pushed Minako to the side and ran to where Ranma lay. Her training in first aid took over and she checked for a pulse, noticing the large slash across Ranma's neck as she did so.
"She's alive, barely! Go get Venge-sama! I'll try to keep her stable!" Ami commanded. When Minako didn't move she shouted even louder, "Now!"
The tent flapped closed again while Minako hastened to find the magic user. Ami had seen what Venge had been able to do after the battle, even before getting the crystal from Ranma, and she was confident that Venge would be able to help. Ami just needed to keep Ranma alive long enough for her to arrive.
Ideally Ami would have liked to move the body outside to have more room to work, but quite literally every second counted and there was just no time. She frantically looked around for something, anything, she could use as a bandage. Nothing in sight struck her as being appropriate for the task.
Without a hint of modesty, Ami quickly pulled off her shirt and held it against Ranma's neck to try to staunch the bleeding as best she could. She then noticed that Ranma wasn't breathing.
If Ami had had time to be frustrated she would have been; by the insanity of Ranma's death wish, by the failure of her to notice it earlier, and even by the lack of extra hands to help Ami try to keep Ranma alive right now. She didn't have time, though, and all of her concentration was instead focused on using the medical knowledge she had to the greatest effect possible.
Ami maneuvered herself so she was kneeling beside the prone woman. She then used the hand not holding the makeshift bandage against Ranma's neck to clear Ranma's throat and straighten her neck as best she could. Then, holding Ranma's nose closed and trying to keep Ranma's neck as straight and clear as she could, Ami formed a seal with her lips over Ranma's mouth and breathed out.
Her technique was absolutely terrible, but she had no choice. She had to hold the shirt over Ranma's still bleeding neck lest she die from blood loss, but that meant that she couldn't really position herself or her patient properly to give optimally effective mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. She was on her own, though, so she did the best she could.
"Help!" Ami cried out while performing her life preserving activity. "Anybody!" She was running out of breath and getting light headed, but the camp was small so somebody was bound to investigate soon enough. "Help!"
Ami lost track of time, concentrating on keeping Ranma alive. Ranma's heart had stopped some time ago, but Ami tried not to think about the timer which that event had started. After a few minutes there would be permanent damage, both to Ranma's body and to her mind. A few minutes more and that wouldn't matter anymore.
At some point during her ordeal some other people had arrived, so Ami was able to hand over the care of the bandage and begin proper cardiopulmonary resuscitation. She had also managed to get somebody to cut the ropes around Ranma's legs as well, which couldn't have hurt the process either.
Eventually, finally, Ami heard Venge's familiar voice command, "Stand back."
Ami was only too happy to comply.
Once she and her still unidentified helpers were clear, a bright beam of light emerged from Venge, traveled through the air, and passed directly into Ranma's body. It was very different than what Ami had been expecting, given the slow build up and the physical contact Ami had seen the previous times Venge had healed people.
Satisfied she could do no more, Ami carefully made her way out of the tent, making doubly sure to give Ranma, Venge, and that beam of light a wide berth. She emerged, exhausted, into the cool and rapidly darkening evening. Her arms were sore and her knees felt wobbly from all the shuffling she had had to do so many times in the cramped quarters of the tent.
"Here, take this," Turquoise said, handing a shirt to Ami.
Ami looked at the shirt in confusion. "What's this for?"
"Well you might want to cover yourself before you start attracting the wrong kind of attention. Then again, maybe you'd like some of that attention?" Turquoise asked suggestively.
"Eep!" Ami exclaimed. She had completely forgotten she had taken her shirt off earlier and now stood with only a bra above her waist. A bra and now a bright blush. She quickly pulled on the oversized replacement Turquoise offered her, which fit her not unlike a portable tent.
"So what was all that about?" Turquoise asked. "Why'd Ranma-san go and try to kill herself, and why didn't you let her?"
Ami sighed. How do you even begin to describe the situation of a person like Ranma? She said, "Saotome-san has a complicated story. It's not really my place to say right now. If she gets better you can ask her yourself, and if she doesn't, I guess there's no harm in telling you then."
"It just surprised me. I suppose given the parallel timeline there's bound to be some overlap," Ami said.
"Really? I only thought of that name because I thought it would be a good symbolic gesture, seeing how we are trying to make a new country of peace. It's not exactly a common name otherwise. You actually know somebody else named 'Serenity?'" Venge asked.
"Kind of. It's complicated," Ami answered. "Still, it's a good idea. I don't know about this world, but I do know in our world that certain leaders adopt a new name when they become heads of state. Seeing how we're going to be migrating and making a new country, the same premise would apply here, only more so. Speaking of which, I hope you are ready for the backlash."
Ranma first thought was that this was the afterlife, although that didn't quite match what she was expecting. She peeked around through slightly slitted eyes, careful to not give any other sign of consciousness.
"They'll get used to it, and I'm sure the offer of being able to live longer will placate more than a few of them," Venge said. "To be honest I don't like the idea either, but you saw how that meeting went. One thing I know for certain is if we stay here the fighting will continue, no matter what I or Endymion say. If we put some distance between our people then maybe things will settle down and our children, or their children, or their children can finally extend a hand in friendship."
"Still, the moon? That seems more than a bit drastic to me," Ami countered. "I'm sure that several people will question the sanity of that decision."
Ranma had expected to be surrounded by her relatives, or at least by some spirits of some kind. So far the afterlife wasn't anything like advertised. The only thing she saw was the inside of a carriage and Venge sitting on the other side of it.
"What other choice do we have? I'm not about to start another fight with another people over their land in an attempt to gain some peace with the Confederacy. One thing we can be sure of is that nobody is living on the moon, and with that crystal you gave me I'm sure I could make it habitable, even accounting for the life extension magic," Venge said.
"Don't be too sure about nobody already being on the moon," Ami warned.
One thing Ranma definitely had not been expecting in the afterlife was hearing Ami and Venge talk about who knows what. She also didn't expect a stiff back and neck, or for her legs to be sending signals of painful cramps. If this was the afterlife then there were a lot of people who had a lot to answer for back in the living world.
"What do you mean? How could people already be living on the moon?" Venge asked.
"I don't know about here, but in our world, in the past, there was a great kingdom which was located on the moon. Seeing how many other similarities I've noticed between our worlds it wouldn't surprise me if there was a civilization already living there in your world too," Ami explained.
"Aha. So there is a precedent for this, in a fashion. I'll just need to be careful when I go up there to begin with. If some people are already living there then we can figure something out, or go to a different planet, or something," Venge said.
With the realization she wasn't actually dead, the crushing depression from before returned to Ranma in force. It felt every bit as bad as every other day she had awoken since learning of her fate from Venge. It felt worse, in fact, reinforced by the knowledge she had failed in her one act of redemption. She almost sobbed, cried, and screamed in despair all at the same time, but before she did so she barely managed to attain the centered distance that the Soul of Ice both allowed and required. Properly equipped to face the world again, Ranma let herself move to get some of the kinks out of her body.
"Have you considered what would happen on the moon if something were to happen to you, or to that crystal? That could cause a..." Ami started saying before she noticed that Ranma had woken up. She abruptly changed her tone of voice, saying excitedly, "Saotome-san, you're awake. Thank goodness. I was afraid you'd never wake up from that coma."
"Why'd you save me?" Ranma asked. "It's not like I can even be Sailor Terra anymore."
"I don't care about Sailor Terra. I don't want to see anyone die, let alone somebody I'd like to think of as a friend. How could we possibly just let you die like that?" Ami asked. She looked appalled at the mere question having been asked.
"I wish you hadn't saved me. It just means I'll need to do it all over again," Ranma said. She was no more frustrated or annoyed than when she had received the constant stream of rejections when trying to find a kaishaku before. It only meant that there was more work for her to do.
"This is all my fault, isn't it? You seemed okay until I told you that you were pregnant. I'm sorry. If I had known the grief it would cause you I wouldn't have said anything," Venge apologized.
"It doesn't matter. I would have found out on my own in a few months even if you hadn't told me," Ranma reasoned out loud.
"Why are you so upset anyway? For most women being pregnant is one of the happiest things in their life. I'll admit the circumstances of your pregnancy are a bit strange, but to the point of committing suicide?" Venge asked.
"It's a matter of honor," Ranma explained.
"Honor? What kind of honor means you need to kill yourself?" Venge asked in disbelief.
"It's a promise between me and my parents. We even have a contract. I should perform seppuku, but without an adequate kaishaku I'm stuck doing the best I can. Jigai seemed the most appropriate thing I could do in the circumstances," Ranma said.
"Seppuku? Jigai?" Venge asked.
"Seppuku, also known as harakiri, is when a samurai, basically a warrior, uses a dagger to disembowel himself. The person stabs the knife into their stomach, cuts horizontally, and then curves the blade upward. Then his kaishaku uses a sword to cut off his head. There's a lot more ceremony to it, but that is the main aspect of the ritual. Jigai is somewhat of the female equivalent, where the woman takes a dagger and uses it to slice open her neck," Ami explained. She neither emphasized nor downplayed the specific genders she named when performing the respective rituals.
"That sounds absolutely horrible," Venge said.
"Seppuku is the only thing which can remove the stain upon my honor, although even that path is closed to me. Jigai should work as an adequate substitute. It is the only thing I have left to live for," Ranma said. The irony of dying being the only reason to live was noted but disregarded as being unimportant.
"What about me and Minako-chan, Saotome-san? We've lost Setsuna-san already. We don't want to lose another friend," Ami said in an earnest and sincere voice.
"Sorry, but that has nothing to do with me. I don't have any way to bring you home, and there is nothing I can do to help. In fact it might actually be better this way. It will probably be easier for Venge-san to send the two of you back than all three of us. Just tell Akane that I died fulfilling my promise to my mother. She can tell my parents. They'll understand," Ranma said in a completely matter of fact tone of voice.
"Your promise?" Ami gushed out quickly. "Then what about... your promise... to... me... and to Minako-chan?"
"What promise?" Ranma asked. She couldn't think of any promises she had ever made to either of the two of them.
"You promised to train us in martial arts," Ami said quickly, words spilling out of her mouth like water down a waterfall. "You said we were too vulnerable without our transformations, remember?"
Oh, that. Did that even count as a promise? In a sense she had committed to training Ami and Minako, so in some way it could be considered kind of like a promise. Ranma remarked, "That's hardly the same level as my promise to perform seppuku."
Venge looked lost at this transition in the conversation and kept silent during the exchange.
"Is it any less than a contract you stamped with fingerpaint when you were two years old?" Ami asked, still talking quickly. "You can fulfill both pledges, so why don't you?"
Ranma paused in thought over this. She hadn't thought too much of her words when she had said them a few days ago, but a promise was still a promise.
Ami pressed further, asking, "Does your contract to perform seppuku have a time limit on it?"
Ranma answered, "No, it doesn't."
"So you can do it after you've trained us. If you perform seppuku first you can't possibly train us, so there will be a loss of honor for that. If you train us first, you can fulfill all of your promises," Ami said desperately.
Ranma considered what Ami said. It had some validity. Even if she were to dishonor herself by breaking her promise, no matter how casually given, to Ami and Minako, the act of jigai would certainly absolve it. However it would still be a dishonor which she could avoid if she were to train them first. For that matter, even if she wasn't officially a master of Musabetsu Kakuto Ryuu she did still have some onus, even possibly a need, to pass on some of her art to others. Ranma had no illusions of being able to train them to be as good as her, but she didn't need to. She only needed to train them well enough to not be so vulnerable, and then she could commit suicide in peace. She could wait a bit to fulfill her obligation.
"Okay. You and Minako-chan had better be prepared because you have a lot of catching up to do, and you'd better not pretend to fail just to stop me for fulfilling my promise," Ranma warned, still showing no emotion despite the content of what she said.
"So, Ranma-san is going to commit suicide because she promised to, but because she promised to help train you and Minako-san she is going to put it off until she has done so? What kind of..." Venge started asking, before being shushed into silence by Ami. She decided to change tack and instead said, "At least you have one reason to stay alive that you're willing to accept. I hope you can find some more reasons. We all value you and I would hate to see you throw your life away."
Ranma's reply, still in that flat declarative voice, was, "I doubt I will."
Last Updated: December 19, 2012