Herro prease! Finally updated! There's been a nice flow of Kyman fanfics lately hasn't there? :D
Anyways, this chapter is based off the well known Kyman song "I Hate Everything About You." It's absolutely fantastic.
And there's a special guest who pays Kyle a visit in this chapter ;D
Kyle's POV. Enjoy :]

I Hate Everything About You
Three Days Grace

Kyle returned home right after school since his teacher was understanding and overlooked Kyle's unfinished assignment after looking into the poor boys miserable eyes. When Kyle entered his bedroom he headed straight to his mirror and stared at his reflection. The green orbs that were his eyes were incredibly red and swollen from crying his eyes out during his walk home. Yeah, he could have taken the bus in this freezing weather, but he didn't want to be anywhere near Eric Cartman at the moment. It was all his fault that Kyle felt this way anyways. Sad, disappointed, confused, angry...all of these emotions were whirling through Kyle's head at the same time. He started feeling faint and dizzy so he fell backwards onto his bed, ignoring his homework yet again, knowing that his mother would be on his ass about it later. But that was the least of his worries at the moment.

Everytime we lie awake.

After every hit we take.

Every feeling that I get.

But I haven't missed you yet.

Why, after all those times Cartman had hurt him...why did he still love him? That pathetic excuse for a human being. That anti semetic, self centered, arrogant, racist, nazi son of a bitch. Kyle couldn't be some sort of sick masochist could he? Kyle tried to imagine the two of them in bed together, Cartman on top with a riding crop and wearing a complete nazi uniform. He whipped Kyle's bare ass with a sharp crack as Kyle moaned in pleasure.

"Yeah, I bet you like that, don'tcha you little cock teasing whore," Cartman said sadistically with an evil grin plastered across his face. Kyle just whimpered and moaned in response.

"What was that Jew bitch? Answer your master. Do you fucking like it?" Cartman said gruffly, spanking Kyle one last time.

"Y-yes master...I love it! Please...please fuck me master...I want to feel your large cock inside me!" Kyle screamed out in complete ecstacy.

"Well, if you insist...but it's not going to be pretty," and with that, the neo nazi jammed his cock right into his Jew's tight little asshole without even prepping him.

Kyle sat straight up in a panic. What the FUCK was he thinking? Having that fatass degrade him like that by wearing the uniform...playing S&M...talking dirty to him. Although Kyle had to admit that Cartman DID look pretty damn hot in that uniform in his fantasy. Wait...FANTASY? NO! NIGHTMARE! But he couldn't deny something about that scene turned him on...He guiltily replayed i through his head again. AUGH NO! it humiliated him just thinking about it. He shoved it to the back of his mind and tried focusing on other unanswered questions he was seeking.

Why did Cartman have a photo of him anyways? It wasn't even a humiliating photo that could be used for blackmail. Just a school photo of him wearing a cheesy smile. And a far larger question was why were there HEARTS all over it? Cartman couldn't possibly like him too right? Seriously, what were the odds of the neighborhood Jew and Nazi, who have been enemies for almost 17 years, suddenly hooking up? The thought was outrageous. And yet, Kyle still had the faintest hope that that dream would someday become a reality. Kyle pondered upon Cartman's state of panic whe Kyle had gotten ahold of his photo. Cartman's mortified expession. His cold words reverbrating through his mind, pounding against his brain.

"Stay out of my business or I'll beat you into a bloody pulp, got it?"

"I use it as a voodoo doll of course, and when I get home I'm tossing it in the oven where all the filthy Jews belong."

It's amazing that when Kyle actually hated Cartman, he didn't feel anything but hatred boiling in his veins. His words would go through one ear and out the other. They hated eachother, so what did it matter if they called eachother fatass and Jew? But now, it was a completely different feeling altogether. These particular words went through his ears and stayed there. Tormenting the inside of his head. Bottled up emotions screaming to get out. It stung. Kyle didn't get it, Cartman was obviously keeping something from him. He wanted to hear the truth come from his lips for once. Another tear rolled slowly down his cheek as he buried his face into his pillow. Was there even a slim chance that Cartman cared? Even a little...? It didn't even matter how much...if Cartman had the time to rip on him each and every day, did that count as caring? Maybe in Cartman's sick and twisted mind it did.

Every roomate kept awake.

By every sigh and scream we make.

All the feelings that I get.

But I still don't miss you yet.

Only when I stop to think about it...

"I hate everything about you Cartman," Kyle cried into his pillow, "So why do I love you?"

"Well that IS a very good question indeed," a low and mysterious voice said from the shadows of Kyle's bedroom. Kyle turned his head towards his window to find a boy wearing a familiar looking costume decked with a long flowing cape covering the boys face, a green letter M embroidered across his chest, and a green question mark attached by a spring on the top of his head.

"Kenny!" Kyle shouted in shock, "Dammit, don't do that again, you scared the living shit out of me and my parents could have seen you! And seriously, where the hell have you been all day?"

"Hey, it's Mysterion to you Kite. And I died, remember? I'm sure you found out that your darling little boyfriend killed me?" Kenny questioned.

"What? Dude, the entire school would know if you died or not, and Cartman would be in juvie! How the hell is it possible for someone to be immortal?" Kyle said quizzically, eyeing Kenny as if he were mad.

"Nevermind...," Kenny sighed disapointedly, "It was worth a try."

"What the hell are you doing trying to play Coon and Friends again anyway?" Kyle asked, eyeing the question mark swaying from side to side atop Kenny's head. "Nothing bad happened right?"

"Oh no no no," Kenny pulled off his hood revealing his messy blonde hair, "My parents have taken up cocaine and Everclear again. Threatening them when I'm Mysterion is still the only thing that frightens them into quitting. I mean, we had nothing but a box of poptarts in the cupboard today! Anyways, I didn't stop over here just to say hi Kyle...I'm here to play the part of your therapist."

"What? Since when was there something wrong with me?" Kyle asked puzzledly.

"Your feelings for the fatass of course! It's so fucking obvious you're crazy for him," Kenny exclaimed excitedly.

"Damn...you've got a good eye Ken...whereas I can't even tell myself WHY I love that giant douche," Kyle sighed hopelessly.

"Hmm...fill me in with what happened today at school while I was gone," Kenny asked. Kyle filled Kenny in on Cartman's behavior during lunch and after school and all the questions he ad avoided answering truthfully. Kenny just rubbed his chin thoughtfully until Kyle was finished with the recap.

"Ha, that explains a lot then. Before I came over here I stopped by Cartman's place and peeked into his window. Guess what he was doing Kyle," Kenny hopped off the window seal and sat next to Kyle on his bed.

"Psh, burning a picture of me I assume?" Kyle rolled his eyes and bit his tongue in anger.

"Yep...the edges of the picture were all charred," Kenny said with a faint smile.

"I knew it, that fucking son of a bitch!" Kyle punched his pillow in fury.

"Wait, hold on...I wasn't finshed," Kenny leaned in closer to Kyle and whispered into his ear softly, "He was crying."

Kyle froze. No...that wasn't possible. Eric Cartman was a cold hearted killer that was uncapable of expressing human feelings. Was he really capable of this sort of act?

"Kyle...he's got it worse than you. At least you have accepted the fact that you have feelings for him. He on the other hand doesn't know exactly what he's feeling. He probably never truly loved someone before in his entire life, not even Wendy. I can tell the from the way he interacts with her that his feelings aren't genuine. He doesn't want to accept the fact that he's in love with the Jew that he's always tormented, let alone a guy at that."

"B-but...the way he treats me...Kenny, he can't possibly have any feelings towards me but hate!" Kyle said, choking back tears.

"Then why do YOU claim to hate him so much? You put on this false facade that you despise him so much. But you're really just covering up the fact that you love him, shoving your true feelings aside and hoping that one day they'll just fade away. Don't play stupid Kyle, I thought you were the smartest guy in class after all," Kenny responded. Damn he was good at this therapy thing.

"But I DO hate him, he's such a juvenile, manipulative, sadistic prick," Kyle ground his teeth together angrily.

"Exactly, he's everything you're not," Kenny stated simply.

I hate everything about you.

Why do I love you?

Kyle sat there in silence, letting Kenny's words sink through him for a moment. Was Kenny implying that he was supossed to admire that fat fuck or something?

"Are you saying that...It's because we're polar opposites?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Isn't there that saying 'opposites attract' or something? I bet Cartman really does admire and care for you, he just doesn't want to show it. Like how he saved you from the smug storm and how he revived you from the manbearpig attack. Hell, he owes his life to you too, you saved him from that cave Gore took us in and saved him when he was getting raped by Snooki.

"Wait, whatwhatWHAAAT!" Kyle stared at Kenny in astonishment.

"Hahahaha! Dude you sound just like your mom!" Kenny started cracking up and getting side tracked.

"Dude, are you making this up! How do you know this! ANSWER ME GOD DAMMIT!" Kyle shook Kenny by his shoulders hysterically.

"Ha, yes. Stoppit Kyle! But yeah...I'm the only other one besides Butters to know what he did for you. He's fucking obsessed with you dude. Why else would he travel across the country just so that you could suck his balls?"

"My gosh...I...I can't believe he did that for me...he had the perfect opportunities to do away with me completely and he passed them up," Kyle started tearing up again. He couldn't believe there was actually a chance, a slim one, but still...if he just got Cartman to finally accept what he was feeling for Kyle...

"I wouldn't reccomend for you to pressure him Kyle. He's blaming you for this, just as you did. Trying to accept the fact that he hates you and loves you at the same time. Just let it come naturally. He'll cave in eventually," Kenny said reading Kyle's mind to answer his question.

"Ok...I think I can wait," Kyle smiled sadly and hugged Kenny tightly, "Thanks so much Ken...I owe you one. You helped me uncover the truth."

"Haha, no problem dude. I knew after all these years it would eventually come down to you guys finally snapping and killing eachother or fucking. I'm glad it was the latter," Kenny teased, annoying grin spreading across his face again.

"Get the fuck out Kenny!" Kyle was completely flustered and blushing scarlet as he was pushed Kenny away towards the window.

"Fine, fine...can't even take a joke. Oh and one more thing...break up with Bebe. See ya Human Kite, I'll keep an eye on the Coon for you," Kenny winked and with that, he disappeared off into the night.

Kyle crawled off his bed and decided to finally begin his homework before his mom blasted the door apart and gave him a black eye or something. Although...nothing could have spoiled the happy bubble expanding inside him at the moment. For the first time in his entire life, he was actually looking forward to an argument with Eric Cartman.

I hate.

You hate.

I hate.

You love me.

I hate everything about you.

Why do I love you?

Eesh...this was a tricky chapter to write...so many raging hormones and emotions...GAH!
And I bet chu were all happy I added Mysterion right? Haha, I fell in love with Kenny all over again after those eps!
Oh yeah, and Everclear Vodka is the strongest alcoholic beverage ever created...it is 75.5% to 95% vodka...that's some hardcore shit there...
THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS! I LAV U ALLLLLL! PLEASE CONTINUE REVIEWING, BECAUSE I HOPE THIS FANFIC WILL RUN FOR A WHILE, AT LEAST 20 CHAPTERS.