So, it's school holiday time down under! Which, for me, is a whole lot more time to write! To tell you the truth, I haven't written for ages, so the track I was following, I have completely forgotten. I have no idea where this story is heading, but I will make up the best possible ending. Through all of it, I have never lost sight of the fact this is a Creddie story, down to the bone. So, tell your fanfic friends, spread the word, and hopefully, this story will turn out very well :)
Love, .. xxxx
Chapter 5: Can You Be Even Remotely Serious?
Carly's POV
I packed my things for school, masking myself with a cheery disposition. I told Spencer everything that's happened last night, and he is the only one who knows the smile is false.
"Cheer up kiddo, at least just a bit," Spencer told me, as he served my breakfast. On the plate, were two poached eggs as eyes and a curved strip of bacon as the mouth. I had only had this breakfast a handful of times. Spencer reserved it for when take out and a movie didn't fix the problem, and it never failed to make me smile.
"Thanks Spence," I said with laughter, legitimate this time. I finished the meal, and bid goodbye to Spencer, and left.
I opted to walk to school today as opposed to taking the bus. I had the time, and I needed to organise my thoughts alone. My friends weren't spending as much time with me as they used to, and iCarly viewers were on the decrease, but it was making me permanently depressed. Why am I so sad? I knew there was another reason I was like this, but as to what, I couldn't put my finger on. When I finally reached school, I walked straight to my locker. Sam and Freddie were pressed up against the lockers, full on making out. I didn't know whether to be pleased or repulsed, but I was going with repulsed. I cautiously spoke up.
"Uh, hey guys," I stuttered quietly. It was enough to break them up. I was relieved I didn't have to repeat myself.
"Hey Carls," Sam said, in a way that I couldn't detect whether it was a careless attempt at manners, or a casual greeting. I felt like I didn't even know Sam any more.
"Morning Carly," Freddie smiled. I smiled right back, he was certainly sincere. This gave me more courage to continue.
"So, I thought we should have an iCarly planning session this afternoon. We could create some skits and work on our viewer enticing plans and I could -" I stopped myself short. Freddie and Sam were back at it again.
"You know what, never mind." I said to myself. I got my things out of my locker, and left for class, feeling worse than ever.
Freddie's POV
Sam and I continued kissing until the bell went, and it wasn't until then we realised Carly was no where to be seen.
"Where did Carly go?" Sam asked as she produced a packet of tacos from her locker.
"Probably to class," I said, gathering a pile of my books. Sam didn't get any books, as per usual. She linked onto my arm as we walked to class, although it was clear Sam didn't have a clue what we had. We had Society and History, one of my favourite subjects. We had a teacher named Mr Cooke, who was new to the school, but possibly one of the best teachers I have ever had. Sam and I walked in and sat down in silence. I noticed Carly, who was sitting with here usual spot, with her head looking down and her hair masking her face. She looked very sad. Mr Cooke interrupted my thoughts.
"Today class, we are going to take a break from non-stop study. Today, I want you to answer the question, what is love. Love plays a prominent part in society and in our culture, and in order to understand it's role, we need to define it. Write two pages about what love is to you. Not a dictionary definition, but what first springs to mind when you think of love. Also, not the kind of love you have for your new lip gloss or video game, but the kind you have for other people."
I couldn't help but think, wow. What a concept. I had never really thought about what love actually was before, which was quite concerning, as I was dating Sam.
"Something else I must mention is I want you to write your most heartfelt, intimate thoughts. I can 100% guarantee that I will be the only person reading your work. No fellow teachers, members of my family, no other peers, just me, and I will store these under lock and key. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer, it is just your thoughts, so be honest. Off you go."
Carly's POV
It took me little time to decide what I was going to write. I knew what I thought love was, and I wasn't afraid to share it with Mr Cooke. My page looked like this:
Love is that undeniable connection you make with another though the eyes.
Love is giving unconditionally to someone else, excepting nothing in return.
Love is completely devoting yourself to another.
Love is thinking that person is absolutely beautiful.
Love is finding the good in all their flaws.
Love is being able to see through their eyes.
Love is that tingling feeling, when you see them from across the room.
Love is turning to look at them, and their already looking at you.
Love is conscious, unconscious, or subconscious.
Love is feeling as though you want to vomit, but in the best possible way.
Love is sticking by their side through thick and thin.
Love is ever faithful and ever grateful.
Love is being their for them, even when they think they don't need you.
Love is wanting to spend the rest of your life with them.
Love is believing you couldn't be happy without them.
Love is finding the other half that completes you.
Love is a constant search, that leads in all directions.
Love is the little things that go unsaid.
Love is drawing a heart around their picture.
Love is living like it's our final day alive.
Love is the passion, that ignites inside you like a spark.
Love is the person that makes your harmony a complete song.
Love is the progression of a bond that becomes so strong, it's unbreakable.
Love is the endless need to have them near you.
Love is believing there could never be anybody else.
Love is beautiful.
I still felt as though I had missed something in the concept of love, as though I wasn't fully on top of it. I thought in the silence of the classroom, for 15 minutes, of what I could add to the piece. I looked to Freddie, who was looking at his paper, completely focused on his work, and I felt a tingle. That's when I realised it, what I'd been missing. I suddenly felt sick to the stomach. My hand shot up in the air, without hesitation.
"Mr Cooke? May I please be excused to the Nurse's Office? I feel very ill." I said aloud, my voice filled with urgency.
"Yes Carly. I hope you feel better." He replied as he dismissed me. In my rush to exit what to me feels like a very hot classroom, I almost forgot to hand in the piece of writing. I hastily made my way to the nurses office.
"Carly! You're as white as a sheet!" Ms Darcy, the nurse exclaimed upon my enterance.
"I need to go home," I managed, clutching my stomach. "I feel like I am going to vomit." Ms Darcy frowned with concern.
"What's Spencer's number dear?"
Freddie's POV
I saw Carly leave the room in a blur. She left so quickly. It was an absurd thing, because I turned around to look at her, only to watch her face turn pale, very suddenly. I wondered what was wrong with her, especially as Society and History was one of her favourite subjects. In no time at all, Ms Cooke dismissed us, and Sam's usual disposition had vanished into an almost silent one.
"What's wrong, baby?" I said, putting my arm around her waist.
"We can't keep doing this Freddie, dating like we are. Do we even really love each other?" Sam said sincerely, although she found it hard to keep eye contact. She had a point. I had been thinking about that during Mr Cooke's class before, and I had come to a conclusion I didn't want to face; I didn't even know.
"I, uh, don't know." I said, staring at the ground.
"Well, if we both don't know, it's not much of a relationship is it?" Sam replied. Sam was the kind of person I never really thought would care about love, but we all did, it just hadn't occurred to me.
"I guess not," I said, struggling to find other words.
"Well Benson, let's just be friends." Sam said, extending her hand.
"Sounds like a plan." I said, and I shook it in return. After dating for a month, it was over, and I should feel sad, but I didn't. Not even in the slightest.
Carly's POV
Spencer came and got me from school, and took me home with only a few questions. I went to lay down, only to be back to where I was a month ago; staring at a slab of plaster, searching for more answers. It was that piece of writing that had finally opened my eyes to why I had been so down lately.
I was in love with Freddie Benson, and he was dating my best friend.
Can I even be remotely serious? Freddie has loved me since the 1st grade, and now I decide I love him. Maybe I have all along? I shook that thought from my head. I was just going to have to push this aside. I could never date Freddie. He doesn't even like me any more anyway! He's moved on, as anyone else would.
It's just too little too late.
I still felt ill, trying to process the news. My brain was coping okay, but my stomach on the other hand, was having a meltdown. Why now? Why him? Maybe just why? Urgh. I hated myself, for falling in love with my best friends boyfriend. I hated Freddie, for being that adorable I couldn't help but fall in love with him, and I hated my brain, for not just pushing this all to the side and forgetting about it. Would I even be able to look at him the same way? I thumped my head on the pillow. I was a mess.
"Carly! Freddie's at the door for you!" Spencer called up the stairs. Had school finished already? Oh no. Now I had to talk to him! I should be calm, yet, I'm freaking out, trying to make myself look good in his presence and doing things I never would have done before today. I came down the stairs, feeling sick. I saw Freddie, looking gorgeous, and I tried to avoid all eye contact. This was never going to be easy.
There! Like how's it playing out? Have suggestions to make it better? Tell me! And please bare with me, I am very committed to this story, so read and review, or failing that, just try to enjoy it :)