A Pirate's Life

Chapter 5

Warning: Complete and utter foolishness.

AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews! I really appreciate them. Ash, I love the idea of CJate! There's not much in this chapter, but there will be some next time. Also coming up will be more Sayid. I didn't realize he wasn't really in this.

Henry Gale was tying a metal wire around Captain Jack Sparrow. Standing around them, watching in wonder were the pirates, the survivors and two of the Others who had come on Henry's request. One was a woman with dark blonde hair that was currently up in a pony tail and, according to Henry, her name was Juliet. The other Other was a young girl that, for some reason, Claire recognized.

"Okay," Henry said as he brought a small magnet out of his pocket and placed it square on Sparrow's head. "This could go one of two ways. One, you get sent back to your own time. Two, you get lost in the nexus of the universe never to be seen again."

"Have I mentioned how I don't care for this idea?" Sparrow asked.

"Yes, several times," Henry answered. He then motioned for Juliet to come over. She did so, though with a hint of reluctance. "Use the zapper thingy."

From her back pocket, Juliet brought out a stun gun. Several people backed away, but the pirates looked on in fascination. She pressed the button and zapped the end of the metal wire near Sparrow's feet. Nothing happened.

"Told ya," she said to Henry.

"Shut up," he said with an annoyed smirk. "Fine, you think of something."

"What happened? Am I dead?" Sparrow asked.

"Yeah, you're dead," Sawyer answered, unwrapping the metal wire from around Sparrow. Kate helped in the difficult task, as the wire kept catching Sparrow's cloths. He smiled and winked at her as she did so.

"Why don't we just blow up the hatch again?" Charlie asked.

"You can't blow up something you've already blown up," Locke answered. "Although we could go to the Pearl and try that one."

"Does it have a computer?" Desmond asked. Locke nodded his head. "Then I can probably blow it up."

"See, my idea is better than yours," Juliet taunted Henry.

"You didn't even think of that," Henry said in an uncharacteristically high voice. As they continued to fight, Claire suddenly grabbed Sawyer by his shirt collar and dragged him away from the group to her tent.

"Settle down, baby. I know you want me, but that was a little obvious," Sawyer smiled at Claire.

"It's Alex," she said suddenly.

"No," he teased, "your name is Claire."

"No, you jackass, that girl is Alex Rousseau."

"As in crazy French chick's daughter? The one that helped you get away?"

"Yeah, that's her," Claire said. She looked over Sawyer's shoulder to look at the young girl who was now helping Henry to dig some kind of hole and fill it with coconut juice. Sawyer looked behind him as well. His forehead crinkled in confusion.

"What in the hell are they doing?" he asked. But before he could think any more about it, Claire grabbed his chin a forced him to face her once again.

"What do we do?" Claire asked him. She unconsciously picked her son up from his crib and held him close to her chest, where Sawyer was unconsciously staring. "Do we trust them?"

She looked back up to Sawyer, who was still staring at her chest. She smacked him on the arm and pointed to her face, "Up here."

"Sorry," Sawyer said quickly. "I don't know, Mamacita. They seem to be cooperating."

The two once again looked over to the Others, who were now in the coconut filled hole with the pirates, jumping up and down and zapping one another.

--

After three hours and multiple attempts at time travel, the group was unsuccessful. Jack was now covered in flowers, Sparrow in coconut and dirt, and many of the pirates were throwing up from having been spun really, really fast by Henry. Finally, Henry conceded to the plan of going to the Pearl station. Although this only took place after a thorough explanation to Sparrow that the Pearl in no way related to his ship.

"Do you really think you can get the same electromagnetic charge out of it as you did with the Swan?" Henry was asking Desmond as he rolled up his sleeves and combed the ants out of his hair.

"I can try. Nothing else seems to be working so far," Desmond answered, wiping the makeup off his face. Jack, now fresh from having taken the flowers out of his pants, joined the two. He voiced a concern many of those in the camp had been having.

"Why are you helping us?" Jack asked.

"I can't have time traveling pirates wondering around, now can I?" Henry answered. "It'll ruin my plans."

"What plans?" Jack asked.

Henry's eyes went wide and he looked around in a panic as he realized his mistake. He had to change the subject and fast. Quickly he said, "Claire's your sister."

"What?" Jack said, surprised beyond belief. "No she isn't."

"She totally is. Didn't you ever wonder why your father went to Australia a lot?"

Jack looked over to Claire, who was sitting with Sawyer. There was a certain familiarity about her. He just always thought it was because he had probably seen her at the airport or on the plan. Now that he thought about it, he had always sensed something there.

"Dammit!" Jack yelled and stormed over to Claire. "Get away from my sister!"

"Is that true?" Desmond asked Henry.

"I don't know," Henry answered. "Probably."

Meanwhile, Jack was kicking sand in Sawyer's face and yelling at him not to put his dirty, filthy, redneck hands on Jack's baby sister ever again. Those around seemed perplexed by Jack referring to Claire as his sister.

"What the hell, Jack?" Kate asked as she took hold of him to stop the doctor from punching Sawyer. Jack put his hands on his hips once she let go.

"Claire is my sister," he said. He then turned and hugged Claire with all his might and, as is his fashion, began to cry.

"Um, help," Claire said as she looked confused and unsure of what to do. Jack let go of her and just stared at her for a moment or two.

"Family reunion, eh? I love family reunions!" Sparrow said. He wrapped his arm around Kate waist and chugged the ever-present bottle of wine in his hand. Kate just let the arm hang around her, too tired to fight him off again.

"What's going on here?" Juliet asked as she ran up to join the group, pack on her back.

"Claire's my sister. Isn't it wonderful?" Jack wiped the tears from eyes with the back of his hand.

"Peachy," Juliet answered. "Are we going to this station or not?"

"A station that I have never seen or heard of in my entire life, nor do I own a subsidiary company both related to and financed by Dharma Industries," Henry said.

"Uh…." Jack said. "Yeah, let's just go."

With the go ahead from their leader, the group comprising of Jack, Henry, Desmond, Locke, Sawyer, Sparrow, Kate, Juliet, and Sayid left the camp and headed out for the Pearl station.