Funny Detectives

Chapter 6

Final chapter

Why was she taking so long to make one simple and easy decision afterall it had been just 1 week since their heart to heart conversation ?, sometimes Gene struggled to understand women, how they treated daily life and how other men seemed to do almost everything for them. He sat with his feet resting up on the desk, chair rocking back off its legs against the wall, with a clear view of the main double doors of the main entrance, eyes fixed on who would appear next.

Scribbling a penciled drawing on a small piece of paper, he couldn't help it but at least it cured any boredom he had while waiting for DI Drake to show up for work. An interruption halted any last opportunity of finishing the drawing, folding the paper up in half and placing it in his jacket pocket.

"Alright Guv… haven' got to ask yer all week seeing as we've been snowed under with tons of work but what happened to you last Thursday night… you didn't show up at Luigis….didn't yer want to show yer face while Claude was there?"

"So he was there with all of you.... sorry I 'aven't' been feeling up to drinking in Luigis especially if he's going to be there from now often i rather avoid joining in"

"Luigi's missing you.... always a bottle of house rubbish ready behind the bar"

"Claude bought us all drinks probably trying to win us over, i mean the cheek of him to trying anything to impress " damn it she still mustn't have told him, Alex certainly was stalling and he didn't like it one little bit, he had to deliver another reminder but he was determined not to rush her with this ultimatium, Alex was like no other woman he'd ever met before, even though she was a posh brunette nuisance he saw something in that made his stomach do flip overs in nervous fashion, her beauty has astounded him, sometimes it stopped him from working as he found his eyes watching everything she did. Even without knowing she was driving him insane with romantic feelings bubbling to the surface.

"How the hell does she do it" talking to himself which caused a brief concerned look from Ray as he stood leaning on the door handle. "eh what you blabbing out about?"

"Sorry Raymondo... me and erm Drake.... we spoke after everyone left last Thursday evening.... i told her i loved her....... i even told her to dump Claude... christ what i'm like this is nothing like me...."

"She said you two sorted things out.... the crafty liar.... " he sighed, trying to think of something positive to say " But I think you did said the right thing Guv.... Be honest Claude looks like a guy who won't hang around for long and she's only gonna get her heart broken i've seen it all before"

"What are you suggesting?"

" Look all i'm saying is be there for her... shoulder to cry on for when times get tough"

" Yeah but I don't want to be her shoulder to cry on.... christ sakes i love the woman and she'll just presume i've changed me mind and decided to be friends with her which is what i don't want..."

"But if and when she splits up with him" Ray was looking like he was trying to predict when the break up would occur "Look you're not getting what i'm tryin to say she'll need a familar friend who could offer her some support, seeing as you two are close anyway you can comfort Drake instead of me or Chris we'd just come out with something stupid"

"Cheers Ray for the advice" Gene muttered sarcastically taking his feet off the table as he tied the desk.

It was clear they weren't going to settle this dispute any time during the day as Gene ordered him to take some evidence files down to Viv at the help desk, the lady in question arrived at the same moment Ray left the office.

Exchanging glances with her DCI from across the room she gulped feeling his stare run right through her mind and down into her stomach , both holding their stares for a few minutes, the tension and atmosphere within the busy working environment would surely be hard to cope with once they clashed with fury and anger.

"Drake my office" he finally spoke whilst standing in the doorway, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked on to see her walking closer to DCI Hunt's office as they sensed trouble would be about to brew between the always fighting colleagues.

"Erm yes what... what did you want to see me about Gene?" she stuttered unable to string out a proper sentence.

"So after what i said you didn't split up with him......"

"I told you the other night I'm not just going to dump him, without any reason"

"I've wasted my time telling you haven't I, how i feel about you..... for we had something special"

"We do.... But all you seem to do is want to rule my love life"

" So thats what you think about me?"

"Well yes actually.... me and you we've had chances in the past but you've blown them away because of your stupidity and arrogrance"

"Arrogrance?" he repeated that last word over and over again, standing straight facing oppositely not breaking eye contact, his eyes still full of sadness and humilation.

"Gene I do love you but if we started a relationship its not going to be plain sailing like you would want it to be" she explained hoping he might understand every word but his reaction was confusing toi say the least, leaving the matter still unresolved as he chose to change the subject unexpectedly.

"So are you still going down this afternoon to watch Ray's big tv debut?"

"Erm what oh yes.... of course i am.... he'll need all of us there to support him.. help calm his jitters and nerves"

"Good" he replied, head turned to look back at the desk, "haven't you got some work to be getting on with Bolls"

"Yes I have" she answered sadly, looking directly at him but not receiving a return look. He couldn't believe a single person had come between him and the woman he wanted to be with and thst it was now beginning to affect their working relationship too, he was so sure before long that she would be talking of putting in for a transfer away from Fenchurch.

After searching on the office computer for any criminal records files on Claude Grenier, it turned out he was clean as a whistle maybe Gene had stuck his nose far too much into Alex's personal life.

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"Bonjour Gene" Claude appeared at the door, hand reached out to shake Gene's which he did, Alex looked on in the background looking relieved that the men were making attempts to get along for her sake.

"Are you coming to the BBC Studios with us..... I know you want me off the scene.... she told me" he whispered bitterly against Gene's ear, this man just wouldn't let it lie, thinking he was some sort of a Casanova.

"I'm coming on me own in my Quattro and by the way I'm still not convinced by you.... bet all of your girlfriends wouldn't be pleased if they found out that you messing around with other women"

"Guv you coming.... got be there by 5pm ... you should hear Ray on the phone he's absolutely bricking it" Chris shouted in, laughing, dark brown jacket zipped up and ready to leave.

"Wait there I'll follow you on", He closed the office door behind him and decided to give Claude an ultimatium,

"I want to see you gone by next week..... Look I care a great deal about Alex..I especially don't want to see her left heartbroken by some cocky French poof very much like you....."

Alex had been left waiting around outside the police station, shivering whilst standing on the steps in warm trousers, a dark pinkish polo neck jumper and her warm winter coat, what on earth was taking both men so long, she certainly hoped that Gene wasn't threatening to punch Claude's lights out.

A little while later they both emerged from the front entrance but not walking alongside each other

"Gene can we all just go in the Quattro instead, Claude's currently having his car repaired" she asked, presuming everything had been sorted out but in reality it hadn't, Without waiting for his answer the couple climbed into the back seat. Gene had been so use to Alex sitting next to him in the front of the car, Claude's arm flung around Alex has she rested up against in warm clothed chest he looked straight at him with such glee and delighting in Gene's misery, it enraged the DCI so much that he tried to pretend that they weren't even in the car as it drove off, heading towards the BBC filming studios.

"The windows are freezing cold.... blimey if i left my hands any longer they'll end up sticking... Gene"

He ignored her

"Gene are you actually listening to me?"

"What what is it woman!!! he growled back, chest heaving stronger than ever, his worrying behaviour scared her to the core.

"Sorry Bols....."

Claude opted to no go with them at the last minute, Gene's words at affected his thoughts, surprising Gene with his next words.

"Alex I can't do this anymore.... its obvious what is happening here.... you both are in love with each other and you should be together.... I never been in love with you myself but i know Gene here with show you all the love you need"

"Claude" she cried tearfully, pulling at the collar of his coat, crying in her soon to be ex's arms.

"There.. there" brushing the hair away from her eyes, "its been great this last week with you.... I'm sure there's a woman out there who can love me dearly" The car slowed at the Highton flyway junction on the outskirts of Fenchurch,

"You can drop me off here"

"Will do" Gene's behaviour changed suddenly, realising he might have gone too far in trying to win Alex's heart, she clearly needed comforting in the back seat. The car door opened just outside by the new Asda Supermarket and Claude climbed out, waving goodbye to both of them.

"Happy now are you" her only reply was, as she used a handkerchief to wipe any last tears, looking out at the freezing grass verge of the Asda supermarket car park.

The car stopped again, and Gene climbed out opening the passenger door and climbed in, sittinf next to Alex,

"Bolls no protests.. come 'ere'" Wrapping her in his arms, eyes closed, hearing the sound of her cries was bad enough but to be shouted made him feel even worse, as she attempted to push herself away from him.

"I hate you... I hate you" he wouldn't budge, still keeping his arms around her weak and emotional body. She pounded her hands again and again against him but he wouldn't take no for an answer, whispering promises of looking out for her.

Upon opening his eyes, he saw something had completely changed different within her, that made gulp with adoration and closeness. Her eyelashes fluttering at him, signs of a happy smile emerging from her lips,

"Gene.... "

"See thats more like it..... Good to have the great Bolly back again... mind you she still annoys and bores the hell out of me" he cheekily pointed out

"Oi you cheeky Baffoon" punching him in the arm which secretly hurt.

"So I'm a Baffon am I" He asked smirking with amusement

Wiping her tears away with his thumb, he starting losing himself in her presence but didn't want it spoiling the moment.

"Gene he was right..... I've been trying to hide all my feelings for you inside.... The other night when you told me that you loved me... I wanted to kiss you so badly but I was scared of hurting Claude"

"Bolls"

"What?"

"Shut up" he chuckled placing a finger over her lips to silence her, lifting her smooth chin to face him, both smiling infectiously towards each other, it had all come to this and Gene was now witnessing the true meaning of the word 'love' and the strange and funny things it did to you, leaving his stomach rumbling deep within.

Nose to Nose only a mere cenitmetres apart, he took one glance before claiming her with his lips, it was like nothing they had imagine before, their first kiss was gentle and sweet, her hands running through his hair, ruffling it messy as she pushed him back against the leather seat, heel rubbing between his outter thigh.

Pulling away a minute later they gasped for breath, for Gene it was the best kissed he'd ever sahred with any woman, she's made all his Christmasses, Birthdays and Celebrations come together and he loved it, not being able to get enough of her in the back seat.

Looking at his watch, he realised they were running late to meet Ray, Chris, Viv and Shaz outside BBC centre in Wood Lane W12, the whole team had been incredibly excited to sit in the audience and watch their DS standing in front of millions of television viewers and attempting to deliver some quality jokes.

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Ray was eager to go inside, as he busily rehearsed some last few jokes off a piece of paper, muttering silently to himself as he walked up and down by the water fountain outside,as he was about to light up a cigarette which would help keep him calm and composed, Chris' arm swung around knocking the lighter on the floor.

"Oh sorry mate I didn't see yer about to light up a cigarette"

"That was me last one.... I'll have to buy another packet"

"So where's this Wes Hollins?...... he's pulled a fast one on you snd you did realise it"

At that exact moment the man appeared with six VIP passes, "Great to see you Ray.... here are your passes..." counting how many were in the group, " will your two other friends be arriving soon because filming starts in less than half an hour and Bob doesn't like to be kept waiting for too long"

Chris couldn't wait to see Bob Monkhouse in person, speaking to the audience and offering advice to the budding, promising new comedians including Ray, the young Detecive Constable actually felt a tiny bit jealous wishing it was himself performing in front of the audience.

"Oh Eh up here they come and about time to" the two colleagues had finallt arrived just in the nick of time.

"Where's Claude?" Ray asked, wondering what possibly could have happened to explain his absense.

"Oh he won't be coming" Alex explained to the group as they walked down the corridors with their passes, walking passed framed pictures of famous television stars such as Sid James, Frankie Howard, Mike Yarwood and Michael Crawford, the anticipation of approaching the studio doors almost made Ray want to faint.

"Ray... Ray.... earth to planet Carling" Gene waved a hand by the DS's face as he snapped out of his starstruck look.

"Look its Bob Monkhouse over there"

"No way....bloody hell is it" the first glimpse of the television host signing autographs to the fans by the stage door.

He waved at the team as he walked passed, asking for a word with Wes by the cafeteria.

"Eh you're gonna end up being a television star yourself before long"

They were invited inside, following Wes and Bob as they stood in the middle of the stage were so many episodes of tv shows had been filmed previously.

Gene, Chris, Alex, Viv and Shaz were shown to their seats in the audience while Ray rushed backstage and into the dressing rooms with the other hopefuls were practising last minute performances, make up was added to Ray's cheeks to show more glow and colour in them before the stylist had a chance to straighten his hair, he insisted that no one touches " me hair".

Back outside, Gene and Alex found it too hard to stop holding each other's hands, she had to slap his hand away as he starting to get too frisky.

"Oww what did yer do that for...." looking hurt as he pulled her hand to rest on his thigh, getting a smiling glance from Shaz as she looked sideways to what they were doing.

"So you finally made up and kissed" she whispered

"Yeah afraid so... Claude made me see that Gene was the only man who could show me utter devotion and love"

"awww thats so sweet"

"I know"

"Oh Great you told Shaz" he murmed looking annoyed with his new lover.

"Five minutes since we've got together and you already making one of your silly sarcasm jokes"

"Sorry Bols"

Holding up her hand in full view and pressing a gentle kind kiss across her fingers.

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Ray had been too busy exchanging flirty glances with the female backstage caller as she stood by the dressing room door with her red clipboard, if he had the chance afterwards he desperately wanted to ask her on a date if she didn't mind.

"Ray Carling" Hearing his name being shouted so loudly for everyone else to overhear made his knees go like jelly, as he approached towards the door and followed on the backstage caller as she showed him direction to the main stage, the music hit right on time as he appeared in front of shining bright ligght that almost blinded him in both eyes.

Letting a dry cough before he spoke, remembering what he'd written down the first joke was about the football team and their failure to not win any trophies since 1966, the joke raised about 50 laughs which seemed okay as he carried on with microphone in hand

"And I tell yer another thing what about these new electronic games and gadgets almost takes me like forever to figure out how to play them.... seeing as I'm bit old fashioned" amazingly even though his little humourous comment was actually that good it still raised more laughs.

After 20 minutes the buzzer sounded and he'd finished, disappearign behind the red curtains, he breathed a sigh relief "thank god i thought i'd be out there all night by the way it was going"

Wes stood beside him looking very impressed, "Hey Ray you did fantastically out there Bob chuckled a few times... saying that you reminded him of a younger Sid James"

"Really" he stood in surprise, drinking a bottle of water to ease his sore throat.

Gene and the others congratulated him with hugs and pats on the back, "Hey mate you stole the show out there congrats"

"Well Done Ray" Alex smiled, clinging onto Gene's hand very hard, "What do you think.... go to Luigis or my flat?"

"Your flat"

"Hey where heading off we'll see you for drinks at Luigis around 9pm"

"9pm What are they up to?" Ray's eyebrow creased shooting up

" They kissed from what Shaz told me"

"Chris you idiot..,. told you not to tell him yet..." she squeezed and pinched his arm tight

"Glad you told me..... Guv's done the right thing for once... am happy for them"

"Well that Claude wasn't the right guy for her anyway... The Guv is.... just watch his face tomorrow bet she'll have him grinning like cheesily"

Outside the Quattro speeded off from the Television studios car park.

"Right Bols I can't wait to wake up with you in the morning in that lovely bed of yours"

"I musn't forget I need to get that bottle of house rubbish from Luigi"

"Oh Sod the bottle of house rubbish... we're going up to my flat have you got that Mr Hunt"

"Yes Mam" impersonating a New York accent

The End

I'd planned to increase to the eight chapters but didn't have enough ideas left for it, I think Six was excellent for this fanfic hope it was great to read.