03/18/2012

This Magic Moment

Ch. 6

Beep..Beep..Beep.

"Ughhh," the blonde groaned, slapping at the alarm sitting next to him on the nightstand. Blue eyes opened slowly, reading the bright numbers displayed on the clock. 8:30. The boy let out another long sigh then rolled over to face his girlfriend.

"Rach it's time to get up, babe," came a low whisper, the boy's hand stroking the redhead's hair. As he retracted his rough hand, red hair was laced around his fingers. An alarmed body shot up with widened blue eyes in disbelief. "Fuck," he whispered, seeing loose strands of hair along his girlfriend's pillow.

"What?" Rachel asked, not even bothering to open her eyes as she responded. "Can't we just sleep for like one more hour… or five?" When Chris didn't say anything she finally rolled over, eyes immediately landing on the red hair still hanging between his fingers. Her mood shifted instantly, though she tried her best to hide it, the girl swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat as she ran her own hand threw her hair, coming back with more of the same result.

She knew this was coming. It was a huge surprise that she had even kept her hair as long as she had, already a month and a half into her treatments. It shouldn't have been as big of a shock as it was and yet here she was, on the verge of tears over something as silly as loosing her hair. It was like her hair was the last thing that made her feel normal, attractive even, and now it was gone. Taken from her like every thing else had been since she discovered she had cancer and that fact alone made it all the more worse.

Chris watched her for a second, unable to read her at first. As he saw the tears form in her eyes, he instantly grabbed her hand. "Rachel, it's okay. It's not that bad right now," the boy said softly.

"Yeah, right now!" She argued, "But what happens when I get in the shower, or next week? It's not like it's gonna get better!" She pulled her hand from his and rolled out of the bed, the small girl beyond fuming. "This was my last perfect thing. The last thing that reminded me of who I used to be and it's just gone, just like that."

The boy remained in bed, watching Rachel pace around the room. "You're still you, Rachel. Just because this is happening doesn't mean that you've changed as a person. I fell in love with you because of the person you are \on the inside, not how you look."

"Yeah right, like you would have even given me a second look if I looked like this." Rachel scoffed. "You know that it's true. It doesn't matter how good of a guy you are."

Chris stood to his feet, walking slowly over to the redhead. "Babe, we knew this was going to happen. They told us, remember? It's not a big deal, Rachel."

"It's a big deal to me." She argued. "I know its just hair, and it sounds so stupid but I just, I feel like I'm not me anymore. I used to feel so good about myself, like nothing could touch me and now I don't feel confident, or sexy, or even pretty like I did before. I can feel myself slipping away and I just don't know what to do to make it stop. I just want to be me again."

Chris didn't know what to say. He had no idea how to make her feel better about this. The redhead had always been seen as a goddess. Every girl wanted to be her and every guy wanted to get with her. And now that all this was happening, no one would feel the same way as they did before.

"Rach, you're still beautiful. I look at you and fall even more in love with you. I understand that this is hard for you, but just know that you're still everything you were before...to me."

The girl let out a breath, her eyes shining with fresh tears. "You're to good for me. I don't deserve any of this."

Chris looked at her, a smile on his face. "Rachel, you have been so brave through all of this. You're allowed to have a weak moment here and there."

"But you're so strong, through all of this." She replied, "You've been here every step of the way without any hesitation, even when I tried my hardest to push you away. I wish I could just have an ounce of your strength."

"I'm here because I love you, Rachel. I don't hesitate because I want to be here for you." Chris looked down, tears forming in his baby blues. "But the truth is, I'm scared," he whispered softly.

"Of what?" she asked, her voice cracking, "You'll be fine, you have to be. No matter what might happen to me."

"I don't wanna think the worst, baby. But I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to live life without you." Chris clenched his fists, trying hard to keep the tears from running down his cheeks. "I'm scared of losing you, Rachel. I can't lose you," he said with his voice nothing above a whisper. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. She couldn't see him crying, he was supposed to be strong for her.

"Baby," Rachel said, her hands rubbing up and down on his arms. "You have to promise me that if something happens to me you're gonna be OK."

Chris shook his head. "I can't promise that, Rachel. I won't be okay without you. We're supposed to be together forever. I'm counting on that." The tears continued to fall as the young, scared musician fell apart right there in front of his girlfriend.

"You are my forever, Chris, okay and in a perfect world we would have all of it, the house and the wedding and the family. But you need to know that it's okay if I'm not yours because if worse comes to worse there's nothing that we can do about it. It's okay if you love someone else, or you see your future with somebody else someday, I just want you to be happy."

Chris looked up at Rachel. "Please don't talk like that. You're going to get through this. We are going to get through this, together. You're going to beat this and then we are going to start our life together. You'll see."

"Baby, we have to talk like this. We have to." Rachel replied, "I just need to know that you're going to be okay if this doesn't work. If something happens."

"Stop!" Chris yelled, sadness turning into anger. "Stop saying that kind of stuff to me!" He walked over to the window, looking out it with tears in his eyes. "This isn't fair."

"You think this is easy for me?" Rachel screeched. "To admit that I might d-die. That you might have to find someone else, this sucks for me too."

Chris walked over to Rachel, grabbing her shoulders and making her look at him. "You're not going to die. You hear me?" The blonde-haired boy bit his lip as the tears made their way down his cheeks. "You and me, together forever."

"You and me." She agreed quietly, a few tears sliding down her cheeks. "I love you."

The musician leaned in, softly pressing his lips to hers. "I love you too," he whispered while pulling back. He kissed her forehead then walked into the bathroom. A sudden buzzing sound filled the combined rooms. Chris lifted his arm, pressing the razor to his head.

"What are you doing?" Rachel asked, leaning against the doorframe and looking at him through the glass. "Chris, no. You don't have to do that, okay."

The blonde ignored the girl to the left of him and continued to shave his head. He finished the last spot, making sure it was all even and set the razor down. "I said that we'll face it together," Chris said walking to Rachel and taking her hands in his own. "And I meant that."

"You shaved your head for me?" Rachel asked, tilting her head a little bit and removing her hand from his to run it over his head. "You really love me, don't you?"

"Of course I love you, Rachel. You're my everything." Chris brought her hand to his lips. "We should get you back in bed, baby. You need to rest."

"I can rest in a couple hours." Rachel replied, "This haircut kinda does it for me." She grinned, pulling him into the bedroom. "I'm feeling good today, baby, how bout that romantic night?"

The boy laughed and nodded, the two finally able to reconnect with each other.