Carson took it upon himself to show John Smith through Lord Grantham's thins himself rather than leaving it to Thomas. It would surely end with some problem considering how much the sly man always coveted the position and how at home he seemed doing this job for the last months.
He was afraid he himself forgot some details but after a short overview of the valet's duties Bates seemed to fill almost every information by himself like he never left. He obviously thought he guessed everything and Carson just let him believe that but inside he was smiling. The man seemed to remember a lot of seemingly meaningless details and it meant his memory was not damaged beyond repair. It was an information he was reluctant to share with Anna yet, in case it didn't mean anything, but he happily shared it with Mrs Hughes when they managed to send everyone to bed after late supper.
"He just walked there and started checking if evertyhing was in it's place, I tell you" he said with smile downing his glass of tea.
"I so hope it is just a begining and his memory would return soon" Elsie smiled hopefully. "For Anna's sake if for nothing else."
"How is she?"
"She's shaken, but in a good way, I think. She was almost hysteric after she saw him, but she managed to tend to Lady Mary for the evening with a smile on her face. Frankly, I was really challenged not to smile at supper in the servant's hall when I looked at him in his place. It was empty for too long."
"Even Thomas didn't dare to sit where Mister Bates used to sit. And that's something to behold" Carson chuckled. "Although some of it probably came from Anna and her stare when three months ago someone sat there by mistake."
"She is protective of those she loves, Mr Carson, and you know it. Just like Lady Mary - you better not cross her when she is on a mission."
"Are my ears deceiving me?" Carson feigned shock. "I thought you actually spoke something nice about Lady Mary for once."
"I might think what I want but she did take care of Anna after poor Mister Bates was lost and she and her Ladyship did offer her the room."
"That they did. Now, we need to retire for the night or we wouldn't be any good tomorrow."
Elsie nodded and followed him out with a smile. The things were starting to look better and better now. Maybe everything had a chance to get back completely to normal given enough time...
"How are you settling in, Smith?" Robert asked one day when John was helping him prepare for bed in the evening. "I hope no one is giving you any trouble?"
"Not at all, sir" John answered with a small smile. "The place is everything I might have wanted and more."
Robert considered for a moment not touching the subject that was bubbling in his mind for everal days but decided to just talk about it.
"I heard" he started sensibly "that you've been spending a lot of time with Lady Mary's maid, Anna."
"She is a nice person and we do tend to prefer each others company, my lord" John aknowledged. "Is that a problem?"
"No, not really. It's just..." Robert considered how much should he disclose. "Anna's been through some rough times this last months and she just managed to get out of it before you came. I don't want her hurt."
"I... I won't, my lord. I'll do my best not to encourage her."
"Smith?" Robert turned immediately hearing the emotion he barely recognized from years back. "Do you feel something for Anna Bates?"
"It's of no consequence, sir. I give you my word that I will not make any trouble for this household."
Robert decided to let the matter drop for now but the sheer pain he saw in the man's eyes was proof that Anna once more managed to capture his heart.
"Are you sure?" Cora asked after he relied the talk to her later. "Is he smitten with her again? Not that I'm surprised."
"I am neither, frankly. As strange as that match seems to be they really are good together." Robert agreed.
"And for each other, too, Robert. Just look how they grew together. And after everything that happened they still managed to stay very much in love."
"When you have the right girl it's not so hard" Robert said punctuating his statement with a kiss.
"I'm not a girl, my darling. I have not been for some time" Cora huffed. "I'm a grandmother now."
"For me you are always the most beautiful woman in the room. And I think you actually get more beautiful every year."
"Do you think Anna can help Bates regain his memories?" Cora turned serious.
"I think yes, if he would just let himself feel." Robert said. "He surely remembered everything I liked and how I liked things done so there must be a chance for him to remember everything. Carson said he has dreams and he sometimes asks for Anna in them. Of course he doesn't know who he's calling but still..."
"There must be something left then." Cora agreed. "Now let's sleep, we have a busy day tomorrow."
The next several days seemed to pass all in a blur. The house party that Cora planned on extremely short notice, mostly to cheer up Edith, gathered a lot of guests. Thomas, who came back to his usual attitude seemed too busy to try and bully Smith which Anna thought was a very good thing. Thomas, or rather Mister Barrow, as he liked to remind everyone, seemed to think that John Bates would be an easier opponent after loosing his memories but he was sadly mistaken. John Smith proved as hard to break as his fully conscious former self. He was just easier to placate for now since he didn't have the advantage of knowing how scheming Barrow was to begin with.
The valet did everything that was expected of him, helped where he could and seemed to catch everyones fancy once again with his calm and silent pleasantness. Mrs Hughes had to admit that not remembering everything from his past might have done him good as he seemed more relaxed and less brooding. There was, of course, the problem of Anna she didn't really want to consired at the moment but it would have to be addressed after the house party. The young ladies maid was gonna start to show soon and some talk would be necessary with the staff since all of the upstairs knew everything and the downstairs almost all. Thank God noone questioned and fumed, except maybe Thomas, at her relocation to one of the upstairs room.
Anna was in a position not to be envied but she was happy, Elsie had to admit. It was probably due to her husband being alive and she remembered how Anna was in a permanent happiness for quite some time when he was released from prison. But the state could not function forever, especially when she started to show. It was obvious Mr Smith fancied Anna just as uch as Mr Bates did and they used to spend every free moment together but after Anna started to show it might go both ways really. Mrs Hughes hoped if her found out about her pregnancy before the whole thing could be explained properly he would decide to stick to his love for Anna. But realistically he would be well within his moral rights to distance himself immediately. Even if they told him everything and he came back the damage could already be done.
Every worry she had in her heart was soon pushed to the back after the servant's hall was flooded with people waiting for their breakfast. They would wait a moment longer for Mr Carson, eat in hurry and then start their day again, rushing to get everything ready for another busy day.
It was to be the last day of the house party and Carson was glad it was soon going to be over. As much as he liked to show off the house in it's full glory and with full pomp there was already too much going on to fully appreciate guests. Lord and Lady Crawley seemed to be of similar mind when they talked in the morning with him but it would be too much to expect for them to admit as much. They set this thing up long before everything seemed to complicate in the house and it would be nearly impossible to cancel at the last moment. Even if possible, the questions would start that would not be entirely convenient to answer. And so, they all solidered on, with grace and flair, but they were all happy it was all going to be finished by the end of the day.
Another concern for Carson, as well as for Lord Grantham and his wife was the welafare of the Bateses. Since the number of visiting people was rather large both needed to pull a lot of additional weight serving other people. Both of them seemed much more tired and withdrawn and through the whole party the situation just got worse.
"Carson" stated Lord Grantham when the butler was about to exit the library and go back to his duties "how are they really? Anna and Bates I mean."
"Tired, my lord. And Mr Bates has more nightmares now so I imagine he doesn't sleep as much as he would like. About Anna - I asked Mrs Hughes and the party has drained her considerably since being with child makes her more tired as it is. But they will manage."
"I know they will manage, Carson. They would both work hard on that. I would just like to be able to reassure her Ladyship that we're not working them too hard." Robert admitted. "Can I do it honestly?"
"I think so, my lord. They may be tired but I think it's good for them to have something normal for a change."
"If working at a house party can be considered normal..."
"It's a thing from the time everything was normal, my lord, that's enough."
"If you say so, Carson" said Robert without conviction. "Just make sure they rest properly after this is all over. Especially Anna. I would hate if something happened just because we assumed she can work as always."
"Mrs Hughes asked the doctor before assigning Anna additional ladies to dress. He seemed confident she would be fine with rest after the party."
"Just make sure, Carson, please."
"We certainly will, my lord."
Lord Grantham just grumbled something more and turned to his morning work he needed to finish before starting to entertain their guests. Thankfully they all had a late night the day before so their guests would not be awake probably for another half hour or so.
When the very anticipated end of the house party arrived and the servants as well as the family gathered outside the main entrance to say goodbye to the quests nobody could help but be excited. The word got downstairs that the week-long party was a complete success and Lady Grantham wanted all the servants to have a day to recuperate properly. Mr Carson admitted to such a fact after being asked during lunch so everyone was in high spirits. Mrs Hughes smiled but then looked questioningly at him and they exchanged knowing glances not many seconds after. It seemed Lord Grantham wanted to take care of their two slightly disadvantaged servants without being realy obvious and without playing favourites too much. They started by accepting Dowager's invitation to dinner to allow for everything concerning the house party to be taken care of immediately so that the next day there will be no need to do it.
Since clearing everything up earlier would clear the next day for resting everyone summoned every ounce of energy they had to make it as soon as possible. John Smith and Anna did as much as they could to help and after preparing their respective charges for bed spent several hours more downstars helping and going to bed with everyone else well into the night.
Anna was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She was too tired to even try to put her dress in order or even to put up any light in the room she occupied now. She just undressed, found her nightdress where she left it in the morning and slipped under the covers. The exhaustion that plagued her for the last month was much more pronounced now after the party and the long cleaning and helping drained her to the bone. If she didn't go to sleep immediately she would probably cry because her tiredness level.
The more she wanted to cry when she felt herself being pulled back from sleep very soon after.
"Mrs Hughes?" she asked when she was finally able to see who was gently shaking her awake. "What is happening?"
"I'm very sorry to wake you, Anna" the older woman said genuinely sorry. "There is a situation in the attick Mr Carson thinks you are the only one who can help with."
"What is it?" asked Anna accepting the robe she was handed.
"You better come and see" Mrs Hughes said with a worried look on her face.
The first thing Anna was surprised about only moments later was that the houskeeper led her to the male part of the servant's second was that she was led to John's old room, now signed "John Smith". When the houskeeper montioned her inside the sight made her want to cry. John was trashing in his bed, covered in sweat and with a terrifying grimace on his face. Probably the only reason he was not already on the floor was that Mr Carson and Thomas were holding him down. And he was calling for Anna.
"We tried to wake him up" Mr Carson said "but we didn't manage."
"He is a light sleeper but sometimes..." Anna started. This wasn't exactly her husband anymore.
"He seems to be in a very dark place right now, Anna" said Carson still pining her husband to the bed with all his strenght. "He's had some nightmares before but never this bad and never such as we wouldn't be able to wake him quickly."
"And he's calling for Anna, which I believe is you" Mrs Hughes said warmly "but he might not be conscious about it."
Anna moved closer to the bed and looked closer. She found a small space beside JOhn's torso that was available and sat there. Thomas and Carson looked at each other when the valet momentarily calmed down a notch after the bed dipped under Anna. Then he stilled altogether when she started running her fingers through his hair and whispering some calming words they were barely able to hear.
"John, please, wake up" she said when she was sure she could safely came closer. "Please, this is only a dream."
"Anna" he moaned still in his sleep.
"I'm here, John. Wake up for me."
While Anna was speaking calmly to him Mr Carson shepherded everyone outside the room and closed the door.
"Right. This should do it for now. As the situation is more or less resolved for now I suggest everyone go back to their beds. It's very late. Or early, depending on how you look at it, and the new day would ot wait for us."
The dismissal was obvious and so everyone save Mrs Hughes retreated towards their rooms.
"How did you know?" Elsie asked.
"It's not the first time, as I have said. As he seemed to have nightmares about the war I took the liberty of asking Lord Grantham if there was a way of helping a man in this predicament."
"You asked Lord Grantham?!" Elsie stood stuck.
"I couldn't have asked Thomas, could I?" he answered as it was the most normal thing in the world. "Besides I remember his Lordship coming back from the Boer War with similar affliction and that was dealt with. So..."
"So you knew there was a way. What did he tell you when you asked?"
"That the only person that could help him then was her Ladyship and that if it came to that Anna's help might be necessary."
"And you were right."
Carson and Mrs Hughes came back to the room just in time to see John sitting up in his bed, tightly held by Anna and crying. The woman was crying also and slightly moving with him. She was also murmuring some things into his head. Both the Houskeeper and the butler decided the situation was under control as much as it could. They retreated once more and released the breath they were holding for a while.
"You should go to sleep, Mr Hughes" Carson said smiling tiredly. "I will keep an eye for them here until Anna feels confident to leave him here. You and your maids bore the brunt of the work yesterday and you should get some rest before the day starts."
"Are you sure? I could stay and keep watch with you."
"I can do this myself. I doubt anything unpleasant could happen now."
"All right" Elsie decided. "But I think you should let them stay in the room together."
"It would be best for them, maybe, but it's quite unthinkable."
"Let them have it, Mr Carson, they deserve some leeway after everything. And as to respectability I don't think Lord Grantham would mind even if it got out."
"It is a little risqe." Charles warned.
"Goodnight, Mr Carson" said Mrs Hughes with a wide smile. She left, closing the dividing door with her key.
"I'm sorry, Anna" John said sitting straight after some time, when he managed to calm down. "I didn't want to make any trouble for you."
It tore Anna's heart to see John pulling back from her and her embrace just as if she wasn't his wife. After a moment she remembered he probably thought she was someone strange, that he didn't remember and a sad smile made way to her face.
"It's all right, Mr Smith" she managed to say. "I'm happy I was able to help."
"It's just..." he stumbled but continued seeing her waiting expression. "Those nightmares seem so real and I know I must have been through at least some of them. That they are probably some of my memories and that scares me a lot."
"You were in the Boer War, those memories must be really unpleasant."
"It's not just the war, Anna. It's a feeling that I had something and lost it. That I had a wife and now my life is empty somehow."
At that admition Anna couldn't contain her emotions so she stood up and moved to the corner of the room standing with her back to him. She wouldn't want to add to his anguish by showing her own tears.
"I keep reaching for her" he continued "but I can't really grasp her. Neither her face neither her spirit. I know, they told me, that I'm asking for an Anna when I speak in my dreams but that's it."
"That may be something." She tried to encourage him.
"The problem is I feel I can't continue without her even if my feelings during the day seem to say otherwise..." Anna could hear the hitch in his speech at that moment and she knew he was brooding over something. He was piecing something together very hard in his mind. "Anna... I'm calling for Anna..." His tone was full of wonder. "I'm... I'm calling for you...?"
Anna almost broke hearing his openness and at the same time how unsure he was about this. He just stared at her with so much doubt and confusion in his eyes that she wanteed nothing more than go to him and assure him that everything would soon be okay.
"Is that why you seem so familiar, so close?" John asked with a breaking voice. "Are you the Anna from my dreams?"
Anna couldn't contain her emotions then. It was too much with everything that happened recently and with all the tiredness she was in. So she just stareted weeping in the place she was. She tried to be silent but it didn't work because she soon felt a set of arms encircling he small frame and warmth from her husband spread through her tired body.
"I'm so sorry, love, so greatly sorry..."
The next thing she registered was weeping in each other arms on his too-small-for-two bed and whispering all the love they had for each other. She knew he was regaining his memories suddenly and in huge chunks at every moment. It was hard, but it was very optimistic for the future. They were getting their life back right there and then and she wouldn't trade it for a long restful sleep. Not when she was getting her husband back.
The next thing Anna could remember was waking up wrapped in warmth of John's arms with a wide smile on her face. Bates was smiling at her and moving his hands over her body. It was not an easy task as almost every move threatened to make one of them fall down from the mattress since John's big frame took almost all of the available space.
"Good morning" she whispered into his chest.
"Good morning, love." This answer elicited from Anna the warmest feeling she remembered.
"What time is it?" she asked after noticing that the sun has already went high on the sky already and the room was bathed in sun. "Shouldn't we be getting out of bed already?" She started to worry.
"I think everything is taken care of, love" he answered surely. "There was a breakfast tray for two and a note on the table when I woke up some time ago. Apparently Mr Hughes and Mr Carson decided to give us the morning off because of the last night's events. I can't say I'm sorry, really." He kissed her then on the lips.
"It doesn't really feel right to impose on them as much, but I'll take it now and worry later."
"Good" John said punctuating his happiness with another kiss. Then he became more serious and looked at her questioningly. "I have a question, Anna."
"What is it?"
"I just... I know I don't remember everything right now, but I noticed..."
"What is it, John?"
"It seems... I think you feel different than the last time I rmember. I mean, you don't really look different, but the feel..."
Anna was very confused at the begining, but then she suddenly understood what he meant. Maybe she wasn't really showing that much yet, especially with the loose cut she wore these days, but still, her body was changing and with just her nightclothes it might be noticeable already.
"Anna? I'm sorry if I upset you..."
"You didn't, John." Anna smiled at him and took his hand in hers and moved it over her abdomen, laying it where their child laid and grew. "I am different. And in a few months I would feel much much different."
It took several moments for John to really register her meaning but after he did he started grinning like a madman. He reconed he had all the right.
"Really, Anna? After so many years?"
"I found out not really long ago" she admitted. "
It took several moments for John to really register her meaning but after he did he started grinning like a madman. He reconed he had all the right.
"Really, Anna? After so many years?"
"I found out not really long ago" she admitted. "I was sure... they were so sure... that you were dead. And then I found out I was with child. I don't know if I would have pulled through after everything if it weren't for this little miracle."
"It is a miracle, my love" John admitted. "It is. And now everything can fall into place in our lives."
"There is another thing we need to discuss" Anna said after a long happy kiss they shared. "The money. Do you remember your investement?"
"I think so, yes. I sold my mother's house and invested the money in some fund. Did something happened with it? Did I made a wrong decision? Anna?"
"No, you did well. Some time ago Murray came to me with the money he cashed in from that investement."
"Well, it's been what, a year? I think I asked him to take care of it in a year if I couldn't do it myself."
"You remember that?"
"After remembering you everything seems to be back in place" he said smiling. "You are my anchor, love."
"The money is gone, John" Anna said gravely. "I thought you were not coming back and now that you are here we're once again without money."
"Anna, calm down" John noticed she quickly worked herself up into a frenzy. "I don't care about the money. We will make do without it just like we always did."
"I'm sorry, you should have come back to the money waiting for you."
"It's okay..." John soothed his wife patiently at the same time trying to devise some strategy to implement for the next years. He was reasonably sure Lord Grantham would keep him empoyed and allow them to live in the cottage so they should make do. As for more extravagant things he would find some way. Anna would not be working and there would be a baby in the house but judging by how they used their money in the past his wages should still be enough to support their little family. "Okay. Now that you've calmed down can you tell me what happened to the money?"
"Mr Murray told me you wanted me to have the money."
"Of course I did."
"I was a mess. I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to have a fortune and be alone. I just wanted you back and I was told that would never happen. I feld a little dead inside so I asked what was to happen to this money were I dead too."
"Oh, Anna." John moved her even closer if it was possible. "I so wish I would have spared you all this anguish."
"I gave the money to Lady Mary, to pay the taxes and to invest in Downton. I'm sorry, John, I don't know if we can get it back." Anna started weeping again.
In the first moment John didn't know what to do about his wife's confession but a second later a loud chuckle from deep within shook him.
"John?" Anna was lost and didn't know how to react to that. "What's so funny?"
"The way you said it I thought you somehow lost the money" he said after getting his breathing under control. "It would not have been great but we would get through it. But the choice you made... It was a very generous gift and one that will ensure our place will still be there for many years to come."
"So you're not mad about it?" She seemed surprised.
"No, not at all." He smiled to soothe her nerves. "I'm just mad at fate that you had to make any such decisions on your own and in such circumstances. That's all that bothers me. And frankly, I'm proud of you."
"You are?"
"In the time you were vulnerable and sad and most people would hoard everything you gave away for a good cause."
"They were very supportive, you know, all of them. After you were lost Lord Grantham made sure the area was searched and he didn't want to accept you were dead, up the the very last moment he could."
"He's a good man, that's for certain."
"Lady Grantham and Lady Mary were very supportive too. Especially after I found out about the child. They and Mrs Hughes made sure I ate and slept properly." Anna's face fell for a moment remembering all that transpired then. "Lately they assigned me a room upstairs, so that I am comfortable and don't have to move up and down so many stairs several times a day. They wouldn't take no for an answer."
"I can imagine..." John laughed. "Lord Grantham married a woman made of a stern stuff and their daughter certainly has a lot from her mother. So tell me, love, where do you live now?"
"Are you sure you don't want all the day off to rest, Bates?" Robert asked looking back at John who was just retrieving the evening wear for him. "Carson assured me it would not be a problem for him and you certainly have a lot to process."
"I'm good, m'lord." John smiled and helped his master into his tails. "We spent a lazy morning with Anna and it seemed to be enough. We have a lot of time to really catch up in the days to come."
"I'm just... to hell with it, Bates, I'm uncomfortable about this situation, to be frank." Robert turned and faced Bates with a strange expression.
"My lord?"
"Your money was used to pay the huge taxes for the estate, I can't give it back right now and it's unclear when I would be able to. You saved my life nearly paying for it with your own, again and now you're still dressing me on what should be your free day."
"I appreciate your sentiments, my lord, but I don't mind." Bates smiled reassuringly. "I would like to thank you, however, for all the kindness you showed Anna and me in everything that's happened."
"It was the least I could do after everything. But really, Bates..."
"It's nothing, sir."
"I gather Anna told you about the room she lives in now?" He waited for the confirmation before continuing. "You're both very welcome to stay there as long as you would like to. I hope you know it. If you'd like, your cottage was left unoccupied and I made sure someone is there every week so you can move even tomorrow if you'd prefer."
"Frankly I would like to take advantage of your generosity and stay here for the time being. I think the less change the better for the moment. And I'm sure Anna would rest more living here. But we will move before the baby is born."
"Don't do it if you want to keep in her ladyship's good graces" Rober tmurmured.
"My Lord?"
"Lady Grantham and Mary suggested that Anna work here for as long as she saffely can, have the baby here and use the nursery after that."
"That seems too much an imposition, sir."
"Nonsense. I happen to agree."
"What about the Dowager Countess? She would surely be against. We wouldn't like to make any trouble between you."
"Susprisingly she agreed it was acceptable. I think after Branson and after your sacrifice she lowered her expectations." Robert chuckled. "Bates, we would have insisted on Anna staying here at least until the baby was born and I think you would be much calmer staying here during the labour than in the cottage. And we would all be happy to have you here."
"I will speak to Anna about it, my lord."
"Now, about the money..."
"As I said, my lord, there is nothing to talk about."
"I just want to come to some sort of agreement, maybe some land or..."
"No such agreement is necessary, sir. We have a place here and that's what counts. As I told Anna this morning, the money went for a good cause and we'll make do with what we have. I didn't make that clause in my will on a whim and it all still stands now. I want Downton to prosper as it is the best that happened to me and a place where I found happiness, more than I had right to, really."
"That's very generous, Bates."
"Not really, my Lord, just the truth. Right now the only thing I really think about is being with my family."
Robert would like to say something to that, but understood his valet completely. Just like Bates had Anna he himself had his family, his Cora to keep him grounded and keep him steady. And Bates was about to become a father, which was a huge prospect since they waited so long without results.
After leaving the valet to sort out all the clothes Robert went to Cora's room to fetch her for dinner but his mind was already working on how to ensure Bates' contribution was recognized and their future as a family safe even if anything happened. It was all well for Mary to promise one thing or the other but he knew some formal arrangements should eventually have to be made. He would discuss it with his daughter later. And with Tom. They would know what to do with the situation.