Chapter 6
"Hello! Are you here for the tour?" – Asks a cheerful woman without even a hint of local accent. She has ginger hair, and reminds me of Kelly Chambers a little too much for comfort. I nod, and Tali and I step up to the small group of visitors. "Yes," – I say, faking a Russian accent, which I'm rather good at. -"We're here for the tour. We won a physics contest back in Ukraine, and the prize was a trip here. I hope you understand, that my friend 'ere has a condition, and can't walk around without her breather helmet. It also affects her vocal chords, so she can't speak at the moment." – I lie. If I was to say that I'm from Russia, it might make it easier to trace me once the deed is done. The lady, who I presume is our guide, gives me and Tali a strange look, but says nothing. She turns back to the group: "Is everyone here? Alright. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to CERN, the European Center for Nuclear Research. However, nuclear isn't the only thing we research here. Does everyone here have a smartphone? I nod, and so do all the other people in the group. "Well, the touchscreen was invented here at CERN, as were many other things. Follow me please, were, beginning our tour with the CERN computational facility, where all the data collected is processed and stored for later study." We follow her to a large, one-story building, where she stops us in front of a pair of glass doors. The building looks less decorated and shiny in the sunlight, but still looks overall very tidy and well kept. "This facility is staffed by a staff of one-hundred and twenty full- and part-time employees by day, and thirty by night. They work day and night to keep the processing power of the rest of the facilities up and running, and have a running goal of constantly upgrading the tech. Let's go in, shall we?" – She gestures to the door, and the group of tourists enters.
The facility is rather interesting, but I spend most of my time noting security options and possible loopholes instead of listening. I do hears bits and snips of information though; that the LHC produces a helluva lot of information yearly, something about a two-kilometer high tower of DVD's or something. Tali is also looking around with interest, probably covertly scanning the area and displaying the info on her visor. The guide walks us through room after room of computer equipment, server rooms, and office blocks. Huh, looks like they have a new air circulation technique to keep the server rooms cool, used only here… Stay on target, Alex! You can marvel at cool stuff over the net later. Now, we need to take in as much info about this place as we can, maybe even find some security loopholes… I doubt we'll need this building at all, and so be less vigilant at the moment, but once we get to the LHC control and ATLAS/ALICE detectors, we can't afford to miss anything.
The guide invites us to another building, which turned out to be the R&D department. Wow, do they have a separate building for everything here? I bet the janitor's locker is a small house in its own. The Research and Development dept. was also mostly office blocks and meeting rooms, along with some labs we weren't allowed access to, sadly. Next, we visited the cafeteria, where the prices weren't as bad as I had expected… I guess the employees eat there too. I enjoyed a small pastry and a cup of coffee, and Tali just gestured that she's not hungry. "So, our next stop is something I bet all of you have been anticipating… The Large Hadron Collider control center!" a few cheers can be heard from the group, including me. We take a small walk along the side of a driveway, and soon enough we stand before a large three-story building, with a large 'CERN' Logo made of metal hanging above the door in a Look-How-Posh-And-Grand-We-Are way. "Here we are. This part of the complex is where we control and monitor the Large Hadron Collider and the smaller acceleration ring. We do have a smaller control center for each detector, but the collider itself is worked from here. Let's go in." Yay! We finally get to see the place where the magic happens! The thought makes me a little giddy, but I keep my cool. Tali also looks a little exited. We enter, and find ourselves in a large room with a high ceiling and many, many tables and even more computers. On the wall is a large countdown clock, inactive at the moment. A few white-collar people are sitting at the tables or huddled together at a water cooler. They glance at us briefly, and return to whatever it was they were doing. I spin my heads wildly, trying to take in as much information as I can; ok, camera there, security guy sitting over at that entrance… I see Tali doing the same. At least she has scanners and recorders and stuff! I, on the other hand, have to rely on my memory to keep all the knowledge stored. There are three security cameras in this room, each covering about a third of the room and the two entrances. Looks like there's no way to get past those without being seen, unless you can climb walls… I just hope Tali will disable them when the time comes. Oh, who am I kidding; she got us this far, she'll get us to the end. But I should stop thinking about that, and get back to observing the surroundings, Sherlock – style. I note a few security camera feeds showing in the far corner of the room. Bingo! I can use that to watch over Tali as she makes her way to the collider. I still haven't quite figured out what exactly she is going to do once she gets there, but I guess we can discuss that once we get back. There's also a door with a keycard-lock and "Tunnel access –authorized personnel only!" written over it. We walk out of the control center, as the guide continues to tell us all about the Collider and its functions.
It's a five minute bus ride, and we are at a small, one-story grey building, with a sign on the wall saying "ALICE control and access". The guide walks us in; and inside we see a security checkpoint with a guard sitting on a chair and eating a doughnut behind a counter. There is also a large pair of doors beyond the checkpoint. The guide speaks with the guard and shows him an ID card. He nods, and allows us in. We proceed beyond the door and find ourselves at a large elevator, capable of carrying the whole group at once. We board it, and I feel lighter for a moment as we start descending. "The ALICE detector is the second largest detector at the LHC. It has a more specific purpose than the ATLAS detector, but has also produced very useful results." – explains the guide. The elevator stops, and I feel a tug at my stomach as inertia takes a swing at it. How fast was this elevator going!? Meh, doesn't matter. What does matter is that we are down here; it's actually rather amazing. We walk past the control center, only getting a few sentences from the guide about it. She soon brings us to a large chamber, where the detector is situated. It's huge! The room spans several floors in height, with the detector in the middle. It looks like a large tube, with a bunch of coils and cords going all over the place from it. The guide hands us all white hard-hats. We put them on, but Tali has to put it on over her helmet. "Here, let me." – I say. If she had tried herself, she might have revealed her shortage of fingers, so I clasp it over her hood and secure the helmet beneath her throat. A few of the other tourists watch, but I pay them no mind, and we continue our way through the enormous chamber.
We arrive at the far wall, after walking under the mass of equipment. The wall is mostly empty, apart from a single door, thee sign near which spells "Tram station B". The guide directs us to enter, and beyond is a small tramway, the tracks going around in a slight curve. I guess this can take us from here to the ATLAS detector system… there's a tram coming in right now, so we promptly board it. The tram is only a single wagon, with a small LED screen displaying information. "En route to station C, ATLAS detector." – says an automated feminine voice. The wagon takes off, and we traverse the tunnel, seeing only dark walls outside the large windows. We soon arrive at a larger station than we left, slowing down and eventually stopping. "Now arriving at sector C research facility. Please don't leave any personal belongings on board."
The small group of tourists steps out of the tram, Tali and I with them. We step onto the dimly – lit station, and the guide begins her tour of the ATLAS detector facility. "ATLAS is our largest detector yet. It was also the one where we discovered the Higgs boson. It was recently retrofitted with new upgrades, and will re-launch next summer. We'll be entering there now." She guides us through a door, and, lo and behold, before us lies a gigantic chamber, the ceiling going up about four stories, and in the middle, surrounded by scaffolds and catwalks, stands – or, rather, lies the colossal contraption: a hexagonal enormous construction of copper, magnets, coolant tubes and a large cylinder going through the middle of it all. The amount of money and effort it must have taken to build this! A few people can be seen walking around the higher levels, wearing hardhats and lab coats, actively discussing something illegible. They look like ants at this distance, paling in size next to the massive tangle of machinery. The guide tells us about the capabilities and power demands of the machine, which are, rather fittingly, just as colossal, but I miss most of it, because my memorizing capabilities are in over-drive; I remember each and every significant detail: where each door leads, each cameras field of vision, how the catwalks interconnect. My concentration is broken by a ping from my phone. I look down at it; New Message. Down here? I doubt my phone has coverage one hundred meters underground, but then again… I look at Tali, realizing the sender. She glares at me with urgency, her eyes darting from mine to the phone in my hand and back. I give her a little nod and open the message. It reads: "This is the place we need; pay extra attention. I'll analyze the data I collect later today." I look back up at Tali, and nod.
We walk on, following the ginger guide. She leads us up a flight of stairs and across a catwalk, and yet into another room, where an elevator awaited us. "Is the tour already coming to an end?" I ask the guide. "In about fifteen minutes, yes." I check my watch; has the tour really lasted three and a half hours? I guess so. We board the elevator, cramming together to make it in one go, and I try to squeeze in before the doors close. I find myself pressed, rather inconveniently, up against Tali. From behind. Like, crotch-to-rear. I try to struggle out of this position, but am surrounded from all sides by other people, pressed together like sardines in a tin and impeding my movement. Twenty mega awkward seconds pass before we arrive at the ground level and pile out, gasping for air. I immediately move back from her, and walk on in a fast pace. We arrived at a souvenir shop. Ah, just how all tours world–wide end. I decide to indulge myself and buy a 'CERN' pin for my pin collection and a medium-sized booklet about all the discoveries made at CERN. Gotta have some memorabilia from my trip here, right? Right. I pay, and we exit the building. I can barely see the house we entered from here; it's quite far. A ten minute walk later, we arrive at the reception, right where we began the tour almost four hours ago. The lets us go our own ways, and Tali and I find the Taxi we had ordered a while ago. The whole ride back is mostly silent, as we both contemplate what we had seen and heard.
We arrive at the hotel, where I can finally reactivate TaliTalk. I insert the earpiece, and say, turning to Tali: "Well that was very interesting... wish I could have paid more attention, though." She turns to me, removing the hood of the hoodie I gave her and revealing the tubes and cables running to the back of her head from the enviro-suit, the part you never see in-game: "It was quite interesting. Your people are advancing very rapidly, considering you've only discovered quantum mechanics a century ago. It took the asari and turians a lot longer to come from that to things like the LHC. My people took about as long as your, though. Of course, we have been in exile from the Geth for over a century by now... but that's beside the point; we found what we need, and now I can analyze the needed data, and get a better idea of what we need to do once we get there. Let's get on it, then?" I sigh. Oh well, no rest. All work and no play make Alex a dull boy. But it also makes Tali a living woman, not a dead-from-starvation one. So, work it is, then. Tali, who has completely removed my mother's clothes and donned her usual purple hood by now, pulls up her Omni-tool. I see a lot of images and diagrams flashing on the holographic display, followed by a long beep. "I've finished uploading sensory data to my tool, since it was originally stored on my suit's microcomputer. Let's take a look at it."
We spend about an hour looking through the images, commenting on those that need explanation and working on the details of the plan. Which goes like this:
We Hire a Taxi driver, pay him extra to wait for us outside the center. We go at night.
Tali makes it into the ATLAS facility, I go to the control center.
I fire up the thing using instructions from Tali, and she gets down to the detector.
I make sure Tali makes it to the Conduit the portal, and returns to her dimension, hopefully in the escape pod (NOT floating outside it)
I shut the LHC down and rush to the taxi, hand him a wad of cash that Tali will get from an ATM, and tell him to get me to the airport, from where I make it home safely.
After that is done, I head down to the dining area to have supper. Once I return, I see Tali putting on the clothes I gave her a few days ago. "Let's head down to the ATM downstairs. I'll work my magic, and you stand guard. "
And so, we head to the ground floor to pick up some cash.