A/N – This chapter's going to be a bit more story heavy than comedy I'm afraid. I'll do what I can to make the laughs flow though. I hope the ending will make up for it. :D
Jak brought the zoomer to a standstill outside the palace, swinging the tail end of it out in a stylish manner, causing several pedestrians to dive to the floor. Flicking the engine off, he hopped off, Daxter somehow magnetically attaching back on to his shoulder. The pair strutted up to the monolithic doors, letting them grind open before entering. The palace was much the same as Jak had remembered it; red walls, guns pointed at him and portraits of the Baron staring down. Good memories, Jak thought to himself.
"Try getting into the throne room, Jak," Daxter suggested, completely out of the blue.
"How do you do that, Dax?"
"Do what?"
"Nevermind."
Nevertheless, Jak approached the throne room, expecting the doors to swing open and reveal a table full of his enemies. Instead, all he saw was a terminal similar to the one he'd left, displaying the same log on screen, only with a Krimzon Guard logo spinning behind it. The warrior approached cautiously, taking a seat in front of the screen. Tentatively, he logged on.
DarkEcoFreak has entered the room
PraxisMakesPerfect:
Greetings, Jak.
DarkEcoFreak:
Alright Praxis, what do you want?
PraxisMakesPerfect:
Isn't it obvious? I want to destroy you!
DarkEcoFreak:
Yeah, lovely, good luck with that. I thought we were meeting face-to-face. What's the matter? Chicken?
PraxisMakesPerfect:
How DARE you mock me in my own palace?
DarkEcoFreak:
What are you going to do about it, chicken?
Gol'dfinger:
Praxis, don't aggravate him any more. You know what happens if his Dark side comes out.
Maia-oh-my:
Yes Gol, thank you for revealing that slice of information.
[GUNZ] Krew:
Stop your babbling, all of you. We want to make our guest feel welcome, ey?
DarkEcoFreak:
Yeah, when you guys are done fighting, mind telling me why I'm here?
PraxisMakesPerfect:
Yes. Well, you are here…
Gol'dfinger:
You're here because…
Maia-oh-my:
Because…
DarkEcoFreak:
You don't have any idea, do you?
PraxisMakesPerfect:
I'm going to be straight with you. No. We don't.
Gol'dfinger:
We're going to blame Erol for that.
AceRacer:
Hey, I am here you know.
Gol'dfinger:
It's a shame he's not here. He'd probably be going round the bend because you're here.
AceRacer:
Damn it, Gol!
Maia-oh-my:
Yes, it's like this all the time. They'll peter out soon enough.
DarkEcoFreak:
I was wondering about that…
I wonder where Dax has gone. I could have sworn he was on my shoulder.
PraxisMakesPerfect:
It's done, Gol. You'll have your new specimen shortly.
DarkEcoFreak:
You've got to be kidding.
Gol'dfinger:
Hahaha, yes! We shall soon be one step closer to regaining our bodies, Maia, and with no risk to ourselves!
Maia-oh-my:
I have to say, Praxis, I'm impressed. I didn't think you'd be able to do it. You don't come across as very stealthy.
PraxisMakesPerfect:
Well, Erol taught me a few tips he used to spy on Jak.
DarkEcoFreak:
I should be worrying about Dax, but now I just feel dirty…
AceRacer:
Yes Jak, you dirty, dirty Dark eco freak.
[GUNZ] Krew
That's nasty…
Gol'dfinger:
Oh like you can talk, you half-human, half-blimp hybrid.
[GUNZ] Krew:
That's the final straw, sage. I'm going to kill you.
Right after I finish this delightfully tasty treat, oh yes.
Gol'dfinger:
I shan't have to worry for a long time then.
AceRacer:
I shall have to take my leave. There is a raid that requires my attention.
AceRacer has left the room
DarkEcoFreak:
Well that's one weight off my mind.
Maia-oh-my:
Praxis, where's our specimen?
PraxisMakesPerfect:
He should have arrived by now.
DarkEcoFreak:
Guess you guys didn't get the memo.
PraxisMakesPerfect:
What memo would that be, Dark warrior?
DarkEcoFreak has changed their name to Jak_Mar
Jak_Mar:
Don't mess with Orange Lightning. ZA-ZA-ZING!
Back in the other room…
ShoddySage:
Pecker, what are you doing here?
Pecker the Great:
I was bored. Onin wanted me to check up on everyone but nobody is here. Onin is disappointed.
ShoddySage:
Onin can't speak, but surely she can type?
Pecker the Great:
Onin does not like technology. Also, her fingers tend to tie themselves in knots.
Where did that furry fiend get off to anyway?
SoddySage:
Oh you mean Daxter? He's off gallivanting around with Jak, no doubt trying to save the city or some nonsense like that.
Pecker the Great:
Pfft, he probably thinks he could save the city on his own.
ShoddySage:
I have no doubt that he does. You know, I always did like you more than Daxter.
Pecker the Great:
You flatter me, Samos.
ShoddySage:
Though that's no great achievement. I would, however, be more than happy to let you nest on my log.
Pecker the Great:
Thank you. I think.
FreakSpawningMachine has entered the room
ShoddySage:
Welcome back Keira.
FreakSpawningMachine:
This virus is more fiendish than I expected. They must have been working on it for quite some time!
Pecker the Great:
A VIRUS? SAMOS, WHAT WILL WE DO?
ShoddySage:
Calm down, Pecker. The others have it all under control.
FreakSpawningMachine:
Yeah. Under control. Right.
I wonder how Jak and Daxter are doing?
In the Krimzon chat room…
Jak_Mar:
Scared now, aren't you?
PraxisMakesPerfect:
Bwahaha, don't be a fool! You don't think a simple vermin could bring down our plans, do you?
PraxisMakesPerfect has changed their name to PraxisSucks
PraxisSucks:
What is this?
Gol'dfinger has changed their name to Gol'd and Ugly
Maia-oh-my has changed their name to MaiaGotImplants
MaiaGotImplants:
This is OUTRAGOUS!
[GUNZ] Krew has changed their name to FloatingFatass
FloatingFatass:
Oh, how original…
PraxisSucks:
I command you to change these names back, Dark eco freak!
Jak_Mar:
No can do, Baron. I haven't done anything.
FloatingFatass:
Might I remind you of the backup plan, Baron?
PraxisSucks:
Ah yes, go ahead and activate it.
FloatingFatass:
Done. You have one minute to live, Jak. Goodbye.
The throne room's door opened again, and Jak turned to it, coming face-to-face with Erol.
"Jak," he advanced on the seated warrior, his mechanised body making the floor shake with every step he took. "I was not joking about what I said before."
It was at that point that Jak noticed that the previous portraits of Praxis had changed to a timer, counting down from 30. He tried not to let on, rising to greet his enemy.
"See you've had some…" he looked down "Enhancements."
"All for you, my love," he cooed, placing a cold, metal hand on Jak's face. How he longed to feel the softness of the young man's skin.
"Yeah, well you wait here. I'm going to slip into something more comfortable," Jak removed the hand from his face. "I'll be back in just a minute." He eyed the timer. Fifteen. He turned and bolted from the palace.
"I'll be waiting!" Erol called after him in a sing-song voice before sighing happily. A regular beeping sound caught his cyberised ear and he looked around, attempting to locate it. His eyes fell on the wall hangings, the numbers on them descending quickly. It took Erol a few seconds to figure it out.
3…
2…
1…
"Oh, not again!"