I stood there in a wedding dress.
My best friend, who'd been missing for ages, just showed up out of the blue.
With a date.
An evil date.
She came to tell me time was running out.
Jake said he was there to stop the clock.
If I thought I was overwhelmed before, it was nothing to how I was feeling after all that.
There was no way I could walk down those steps and pretend everything was status quo in front of all of those people.
I felt like my heart would come out of my ears.
"Okay, Carlisle's got Charlie on his feet, Esme and Carmen have inspired your mother to shrink her carbon footprint by eating a local diet, and I'm pretty sure Phil is in love with Emmett for his baseball card collection. All in all, the delay hasn't caused a total train wreck." Alice seemed to think that jabbering at me while rearranging my dress and curls would be good for my nerves.
"Then again," she went on, "that's not counting the underage drinkers. Between you and me, Eric Yorkie plus Bollinger equals disaster." She dusted my face in powder and added a touch of lip gloss. "There. I'll tell Edward to stop loitering outside this door and then head down to cue the quartet. We're only twenty minutes late, which is practically ahead of schedule for a wedding." As if by magic, she left me looking as though there had never been a delay.
"Edward?" All I did was say his name, and he was instantly through the door.
He took my hand and kissed it, and my breathing slowed. He dragged his nose slowly over the inside of my wrist and my heart calmed.
"Bella," Edward said my name, soft and smooth, cutting through my panic. "Your heart's thumping like a hundred hoof beats over frozen ground. It's okay, sweetheart. You're in no danger—"
"What if I forget my lines?"
Edward's perfect brow creased down the center as his face bent toward mine. "Your lines?"
"Uhh, vows?"
Edward's features rearranged themselves most radiantly and he laughed. "You can speak gibberish at me for all I care. As long as you let me put a ring on your finger in front of a witness, I'll be happy, my love."
"You think I'm joking."
"Ahem," Jasper politely cleared his throat behind me. "Edward, your best man is in his place downstairs, and I'd be happy to hand off your bride to her father for you."
Edward made eye contact with his brother over my head, affording me a nice look at his perfect throat. His cold lips touched my left eyebrow very gently and then he was gone so suddenly that I was left slightly disoriented.
I took the bouquet of white orchids and deep blue irises, the same one Rose had tried to hand me earlier, from Jasper and smiled up at him in thanks for both the flowers and the calm. In that blissful cloud of scent and serenity, we stepped into the hallway.
"I'd say don't marry him," Jake's voice came at me from behind. "But that's kind of pointless. I'd say I can promise you things too, but you don't want anything I have to offer. I'd say you'll probably be a widow by next week—"
"Jacob…"
"For what it's worth, I'll just say you look like a knock out today, Bella."
I couldn't help it. I gave him a small smile. Meanwhile, Jasper folded his hands and leaned on the wall, affecting an air of patience while remaining steadfastly conspicuous.
"I'll stick around until you say 'I do,' just in case," Jake said, and I rolled my eyes at him one last time.
We both knew these were likely to be the final words and acts of friendship for both of us; I suppose that's why he looked as though he were fighting the same tears that were brimming at my eyes as well.
It was an impossible situation.
Impossible.
He quickly kissed the opposite cheek of where Edward had kissed and I stood there, half burning and half freezing, knowing that in a few minutes I wouldn't be living on the edge of this fine sword anymore.
Jasper took my elbow and led me to the landing. As we reached Charlie, I realized that Gianna had distracted Alice from putting the shoes on my feet. Jasper must have sensed my momentary puzzlement over whether to go back for them because he looked down at me quizzically, but I shrugged it off. I never wanted to see that bathroom again, and I was content to walk down the aisle barefoot as Edward had suggested, even if it was initially meant as a joke.
The next few moments passed by me like a sort of hazy dream. It was almost as though I were watching the scene from the nosebleed seats.
Jasper handed me off to Charlie. I kissed my father's cheek and noticed that he smelled like liquor rather than beer. I smoothed his pocket square and placed my left hand on his right forearm while holding my bouquet in my right hand. It seemed surreally heavy, and the scent of orchids and alcohol was warm and heady.
As we waited for the music, it was like we hovered. We stood arm-in-arm together on the bridge that connected my past and my future. For that single moment, when the guests stopped shuffling and the first note of the cello hung alone in the air, I had one foot in each world.
Then I took that step.
It was as we descended the staircase slowly but steadily that I noticed the details of the décor in the living area that I hadn't noticed earlier. Every surface had a cobalt blue glass with a candle glowing dimly from within, and the end of each row of chairs was adorned with an arrangement of white orchids and irises.
Everything was simple but elegant. I was white, and everything else was a shade of off-white or blue with the men in black. It looked like the type of wedding you might see in a magazine.
I felt rather than heard the music as it vibrated through the air and my bones. A light smile played on my face as I recognized familiar people whose names I couldn't place just then. My bare feet delighted in the feel of soft petals lining the aisle as Charlie and I approached.
Where was Edward?
My foot faltered, and Charlie squeezed my arm and looked down at me in concern.
With panic rising in my chest, I tried to pull free of my father's grip, but he held tight.
All I could see where Edward should have been was a great big…
Jacob?
My step stuttered again.
What kind of sick trick were all these people trying to play on me?
My father whispered something and half dragged me forward, but it wasn't where I wanted to go.
I must've looked wild as I scoured the room.
Pastor Weber stood near an explosion of flowers, and in front of him, Jake faced me looking somber and sad as I tried to escape him.
I felt my sinuses prickle and my eyes get misty.
Despite his tendencies toward being a supreme bonehead, Jake owned a piece of my heart, and I hated hurting him.
I couldn't have all of the options; I already knew that.
I'd made the choice; I didn't understand why Charlie was dragging me toward the wrong man.
I'd have to fight.
I pushed the air out of my lungs slowly and deliberately, willing the fear and doubt and horror to leave with it.
And just as I gathered my strength, preparing to jerk my arm away from my father and run, something lustrous caught my attention from behind Jacob's shoulder.
I looked closer and realized it was Edward's pale, perfect face, merely obscured by my friend who was much too big, and the tears I hadn't quite cried for Jacob were held at bay by Edward's breathtaking smile.
For a brief moment, I wondered if it would always be like that: if my love for Edward, and his for me, would always be enough to keep all of the bad just at bay.
And I supposed, in all fairness, that was how it should be.
For a love so strong and so intense, there must be such strong and intense effects. If I'd learned anything at all, it was that you can't get something for nothing.
The more you get, the higher the price.
Even so, when I finally had him fully in my sight, his radiance no longer eclipsed by love's lesser shadow, I couldn't feel any kind of sacrifice or loss.
Edward stood on a slightly raised platform surrounded by woven irises. His fingers rested intertwined in front of him. He was beautiful. His eyes were alive with a thousand shades of gold that sparkled just for me.
When I walked past Jacob and reached the platform, Edward's arm reached out and his lips parted. He took my hand offered him by Charlie and his smile bloomed into a sublime portrait of delight, and I was overwhelmed by my own luck that this man would be mine forever.
It was fortunate that I was not required to look at anyone but Edward during the ceremony because I could not have looked away. His face held me hypnotized and enraptured.
Pastor Weber spoke, but I heard none of it. There was a moment of confusion when a pillow with two rings on it appeared before me, balanced on Carlisle's steady hand.
I was poked from behind, and Alice whispered, "Take the bigger one and put it on Edward."
So I picked up the larger of the two rings, took Edward's hand and slipped the ring onto his finger. My heart suddenly went into overdrive—as if this whole marriage thing actually had significance.
I felt my insides flutter as I repeated after Pastor Weber, "With this ring I thee wed. With my body I thee worship." And I knew Edward heard my heartbeat because I felt one of his fingers surreptitiously slide to the inside of my wrist so he could revel in my wild pulse.
Then he took the smaller ring and slid it onto my hand and said his vows to me, and all I could hear was "I love you Isabella" because his face was so heartbreakingly beautiful when he looked at me that he didn't even need words to express his feelings.
For what felt like ages we stood facing each other hand in hand with Pastor Weber one step away facing a crowd of people to whom we were utterly oblivious. While he spoke—to us or to them, I had no idea—we just gazed into each other's eyes.
Suddenly Edward pulled me forward into his hard chest, and as though I were listening on tape delay, I heard Pastor Weber say "You may kiss the bride," right after I tasted the sweet venom on Edward's lips.
I threw my arms around his neck, and he lifted me off the ground so we could really kiss. I pulled his hair and heard a small noise crawl up from Edward's chest as I bit his mouth and whimpered when he put me down.
"We have an audience, Mrs. Cullen," he said, and I took a deep breath to try to clear my head. I looked around, and Oh! A bunch of people were standing and laughing and clapping at us.
I looked back at Edward to see him smile at the crowd of people.
He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the new ring on my finger while the string quartet played something sweet and happy.
When Edward's eyes shone bright and gentle despite all of the chaos and violence hanging over our lives, and when my own eyes closed in gratefulness and love when his hands left mine to caress my jaw, I knew I hadn't really given up anything at all.
I knew I was foolish for ever resisting the idea of being Edward's wife.
I believed I was quite literally born to be at this man's side for eternity.
Everything else be damned.
He took both my hands, and our arms tangled together as we walked back up the aisle. We walked slowly, allowing everyone to throw elegant blue flower petals and boisterous well-wishes at us.
The walk was so easy this time, free of struggle and panic and trompe l'oeil, and my heart was so light that my entire body floated right along with it.
Together we made our way to the dining room where we were supposed to "receive" our guests, according to Esme. I still had no idea what that meant but Edward seemed to think it was important, and at that moment the only thing important to me was keeping physical contact with him.
I'd never let him go again.
If I held on tight enough, no mythical beast nor Volturi nor super-human guilt complex could ever come between us, no matter how heavily the odds looked to be stacked against us.
The massive table was gone from the dining room and in its place there was a lovely archway latticed with irises and cobalt-blue hanging lanterns. In the dim blue light, Edward and I looked equally pale and I wondered if this would freak anyone out. Alice handed me a glass of very cold and very fizzy liquid which I sipped just as my mother came up to "be received".
"Oh, baby girl! I never—you just—oh, Bella!" Renee descended into sniffles and Edward produced a handkerchief out of nowhere while Phil gently pounded Renee's shoulders, as though that would help.
"Alice," I whispered into my hand. I saw her look up at me from across the room. "Maybe you could get Jasper to stand near the reception thing?"
Alice gave me a thumbs-up and turned around, I supposed to find Jasper. I hugged my mother and answered her questions regarding whether Edward would take care of me and be good to me and then listened to Edward answer the same questions when she put them to him directly.
Suddenly she stopped dithering as Jasper arrived to give Edward a congratulatory handshake.
"Thank you," I said, and he winked.
Jasper hovered around as every wedding guest filed past to congratulate (Mrs. Newton, Mrs. Cope, Angela, Deputy Mark) , make jokes (Mike, Jessica, Tyler, Eric), or simply be introduced (Tanya, Kate, Carmen, and Eleazar).
Except with the last four guests to go through the reception line, Jasper wasn't there to keep them calm, rather to keep me calm.
"Bella," Edward said, "these are Carmen and her mate Eleazar, Kate, and Tanya… our family from Alaska."
The phrase "ugly stepsister" flashed in my mind like a glaring red neon sign as the statuesque women descended on us, smiling and graceful like ballerinas in dreams, flanked by a Prince Charming escort.
"Welcome to our family," the first said. "I'm Carmen."
I shook her cool hand and noted her silky raven hair. Her face was, of course, beautiful, and before I could answer her, my hand was in another.
A black head bowed over my hand in an antiquated, formal gesture, followed by the quick touch of a cold pair of lips grazed my knuckles. The effect was decidedly flattering, and I may have blushed a little as Eleazar rose to his full and impressive stature with a slight click of his heel.
"Señora. Eduardo has always been mucho respect of me, and I am so happy to see him well wed with such a charming lady." Though his accent was thick, somehow the slight faults and Catalan lisp only made him more alluring.
He held onto my hand a moment, peering at me, and a shiver went down my back. It was a sensation Renee used to call 'someone stepping on your grave' and I edged closer to Edward. "Forgive me," he said with another slight bow. "An old habit."
I looked to Edward for a hint on what just happened. I had just enough experience around vampires to know that this charming Spaniard had used—or tried to use—his talent on me. Edward merely shook the man's hand with that crooked grin on his face, which told me nothing except Eleazar had meant no harm and done no damage.
Edward's lips against my temple distracted me from trying to figure all that out. My body naturally rotated into alignment with Edward's and I leaned up for a kiss, which he granted before placing his hands on my shoulders and physically turning me back to face the receiving line. A gorgeous woman stood waiting to take my hand next.
"I'm Kate. Welcome and congratulations to both of you," she said. "Finding a mate for life is extraordinary, no matter what the circumstances. We're grateful our Edward has found you."
"Oh. I'm grateful I found him," I said, then winced at how stupid I sounded. Maybe I was simply still a little flustered from Eleazar's odd behavior.
Kate flicked back her long, pale hair and laughed lightly with warmth. I instantly liked her.
"I'm Tanya."
I stared.
She was every bit as lovely as I had feared she would be. Strawberry blonde curls hung loose and full around pale, sculpted shoulders. Her full lips gave me a secretive smile while I awkwardly shifted from foot to foot.
"Hello, it's nice to meet you," I said after a moment.
"You too, Bella. I have to admit, I made the trek down here mostly just to see exactly what kind of woman it does take to land this infamous bachelor," Tanya said, humor in her tone as she patted Edwards shoulder. Then squeezed his bicep.
"Oh, well, I… don't know. I'm still not entirely sure what he sees in me," I said truthfully.
"He was right. You're absolutely lovely," Tanya said, then kissed my cheek. Then she reached up and kissed Edward's, too.
She did linger a moment, and I knew she was whispering something in his ear.
Edward pulled back from her and gave a blank stare in her direction for a moment before she giggled, and I wanted to curl in on myself.
"That won't be necessary," Edward said to Tanya and put his arm around my shoulder.
I made a mental note to ask him later exactly what all that was about.
Edward guided me back into the living room where the chairs decorated in white and blue flowers had been moved from their neat columns to line the edges of the room. Tables full of canapés, petit-fours, hors-d'oeuvres, and finger sandwiches were everywhere, and more champagne glasses than I'd ever imagined covered every surface.
All the guests appeared to be either drunk or over half-way there. Alice skipped past me as Edward maneuvered me through the crowd and passed off a full glass in exchange for my empty one. Somehow, despite Gianna, despite the imminent war between the wolves and the Cullens that would break out when Edward bit me, and despite the war between the Volturi and the Cullens that would break out if Edward didn't bite me… despite everything, I found myself smiling at Edward's joyful face and laughing at the playful insults he shared with his brothers. I even found myself agreeing when he asked me to dance.
Once people were staring at us, I sobered up a little, though. "Ugh, why did I agree to this?"
"Because I want to dance on my wedding day, and you wouldn't be so cruel as to deny me anything so simple."
"You're a very manipulative vampire, you know that?"
Edward only grinned at me, showing too many teeth. It was a smile that I knew was meant to be menacing, but to me, it only made him look like a snarling kitten. I reached up to kiss him, loving the way his eyes closed and he didn't so much as duck away or protest.
"Alright," I murmured in his ear as we 'danced' with me standing atop his feet, "I'm giving you a wedding day dream come true by dancing with you. That means you'll give me something too, right?"
Edward chuckled very low, "Which of us is the manipulative one?"
"What was all that with Tanya?
Edward's face didn't change one iota. "I thought you'd be more interested in asking about Eleazar's assessment."
My eyebrows shot up, "Assessment?"
"His talent is spotting potential in humans," Edward murmured against my hair.
"And by 'potential' you mean he predicts what their powers will be."
Edward smirked at me. "More or less."
"So?"
He spun me around when the music changed.
I tried to stop and glare at him to make him answer, but his hand was effectively controlling my movements, and all I managed to do was slide my foot across the floor rather than take the step. He lifted me up and lowered my feet deftly onto the tops of his own shoes.
So much for exercising my will.
"No fair," I grumbled. "So, since you're making me wheedle, what did Eleazar see in me?"
"He thinks you're very pretty."
"Edward."
"That's right," he said and smiled at me. For a moment, all I could do was look up at his beautiful face, radiating joy and promise, all for me. "All he saw in you was me. Either he's on the fritz, you're inscrutable, or you're going to become president of the Edward Cullen fan club at some point in the future."
We both laughed, and I let my head fall against his lapel. The smell of him, and his arms around me, and the happiness swirling all around him made me giddy, and it felt so good just to be in his arms and be… in love. I nuzzled and sighed, "When are we going to try?"
He did his best to sound scandalized, "Goodness, Isabella Cullen. Is that any way for a lady to talk?"
"Don't evade, Aunt Edina."
He threw his head back in laughter and the column of his neck, his throat, his jaw were sculpted so perfectly and with such a fine hand that I literally gasped, breathless in wonder at the sight of him.
At the sound of it, Edward's eyes found mine and grew serious. "I plan to keep all my promises to you, my love."
"Good because I—"
I was cut off right then by Edward becoming a statue. I opened my eyes and raised my head from his chest and saw Charlie standing there, right in our personal bubble.
He cleared his throat kind of awkwardly and then said, "May I cut in?" For a moment neither Edward nor I moved, so Charlie was compelled to keep speaking. "It's traditional. A father of the bride thing, apparently."
"Of course," Edward said, and he lifted me off his shoes, placing me gently on the floor.
I was wary of dancing with Charlie. Not only was it likely he danced no better than I, I was afraid of a speech about the two glasses of champagne or (heaven help me) something about what to expect on my wedding night. But all I got was a big strong fatherly hug for the minute or so that remained of the song. He didn't say anything or ask anything. He just hugged me and kind of rocked us from side to side, and I hugged him back, speaking his language.
When our dance was over I looked around for Edward and caught sight of him dancing with my mother—who was talking a mile a minute. I groaned.
"It's not as bad as you think, Bella," Carlisle's smooth voice rolled over my shoulder. Of course, once again, everyone could eavesdrop but me. "May I have the honor of dancing with my new daughter?" He smiled at me so fantastically that I couldn't have said no, even if I could have said anything at all.
The afternoon went on like that. The vampires all danced like professionals. The humans were all too drunk to feel bad about their own dancing. Charlie danced with Esme; Renee danced with Carlisle; Eleazar asked me to dance, which caused me to have an obnoxiously loud coughing fit when I choked on my champagne. (Luckily he didn't ask a second time, not that Edward let me out of his reach after that.) Seth even danced once with Esme, and I'd have loved to see Sam's face when he found out about that. Champagne kept materializing in front of me until soon I wobbled when I stood up, but Edward's arm was always there—just in case.
"Bella. Are you… tipsy?" he teased.
"Shuddup. It's a human experience."
He chuckled at me, which was adorable, so I kissed him with my mouth wet and open until he groaned and pulled away. "We have to cut the cake and toss the bouquet and the garter."
"Huh?"
"Alice says we have to finish all of the traditional stuff so people can go home."
"Garter?" I asked, puzzled. Edward's hand slid down from my waist to my hip to my thigh where it rested over a tiny bulge under the lace. There was something under my dress that I didn't even remember putting on. "I never even put my shoes or stockings on," I mused.
Edward smiled at me. "I noticed."
I let him lead me to the dining room where a tall cake decorated in elegant sugar irises and topped with a small replica of me and Edward stood on the table against the wall. Edward and I were meant to cut the first slice and feed each other a bite.
"I don't want to make you eat cake, Edward," I whispered to him.
"Don't worry about it. Most brides just squash the cake onto their husband's face, according to Emmett," he whispered back to me. I cast a sidelong glance at his massive brother who grinned and gave me an exaggerated wink to confirm this.
"That seems," I fumbled a moment for the word, "disrespectful."
Edward put the cake knife back down on the table and placed both hands against my cheeks. "I love you so much, Isabella Cullen." And then he kissed me in the way that caused me to undo the second button of his shirt because I completely forgot that all the wedding guests were in the same room with us. His hands slid from my face to my wrists as he finished the kiss with sweet pecks to my eyelids and chin.
I stared at him and licked my lips. They tasted so sweet from his mouth that I feared the cake would taste bitter in comparison.
As he leaned over me to pick the knife back up, I just heard him whisper, "Sorry Jasper," and I looked over at Edward's brother who was seated by the wall and leant with his head in his hands.
We did the cake ceremony. Edward got around swallowing any of it by kissing me after I put a tiny bit into his mouth. He transferred it back to me—much colder—via a kiss.
Then I tossed my bouquet while Alice, Esme and Rosalie cut and plated the rest of the cake for all the other guests.
While champagne was being poured to accompany the cake and the toasts, Edward pulled the garter off my thigh without the use of his hands. My face got so hot when his lips placed a delicate kiss just south of my underwear that I was sure every vampire in the house was about to jump me. But of course the whole ridiculously sexist tradition came off (as it were) without a hitch—except that it was revealed to all that I had foregone footwear for the day, and some genius made a joke about "the little woman being barefoot already" to which Edward did not respond.
As Edward's best man, Carlisle toasted us first.
"I've known Edward since he was a boy. I've seen him grow into an adult and I've seen him take on responsibility, learn from his own mistakes, gain an understanding of the world. SInce he has known Bella, finally I have had the pleasure of watching him become a man. My oldest, youngest son. The introspective one, the rebellious one, the reserved one, the musical one. My stubbornest child. My dear friend. Congratulations and thank you. Thank you for all the years of joy and surprise and wonder you brought to my life, and thank you again for bringing me a new daughter who is warm and kind and compassionate and who loves you and makes you happy. To Bella and Edward!"
I swallowed back the tears and squeezed Edward's hand. The emotion showed across his face in the crease between his brows and the thinness of his upper lip. I reached up to kiss his chin, and finally I caught his smoked amber eye. Half his mouth curled into a slight grin just for me as if to confirm how lucky we both were to have someone like Carlisle on our side.
Next, my matron of honor raised her glass to give her speech.
"I've only known Bella for a couple of years, but in that short time, she has become my best friend and my sister. She's given more to my family than anyone could have foreseen, and the best part is that we still get to spend the rest of forever with her. I never imagined my brother Edward would find a match who could challenge him in all the ways that she will, but it's those challenges and their outcomes that make a great marriage, and I know these two will outshine us all. I want to toast Bella and her future with my brother. I know it will be wonderful. They will be infinitely happier together than either would be alone, so to Bella and Edward: eternal joy and prosperity!" At that she raised her glass higher and the whole crowd murmured our names before sipping their sparkling champagne.
Edward and I clinked our crystal flutes together, and I drained mine.
"I believe you're drunk, Mrs. Cullen."
I snorted inelegantly, which probably didn't help my case. "At least I don't keep calling you Mister Cullen," I groused.
"Does it bother you that I'm calling you Mrs. Cullen?" he whispered into my ear. The chill of his breath sweeping over my blushing skin sent a shiver right down my spine. I moved closer into Edward's beautiful jacket and reveled in the kisses he dotted over the side of my face.
"Ahem," a voice broke through the bubble of isolation that love had built up around Edward and me.
I looked up to see my mother holding a glass up for a toast, too.
"I want to say a few words about my little girl and this handsome young man," she smiled. Had I not been tipsy, perhaps I'd have cringed in anticipation of whatever would come out of her mouth. But as it was, I merely smiled while Edward played with a loose curl at my shoulder.
"Bella has always been an independent girl. As a child she always wanted to do everything for herself. She never accepted help in tying her shoes or buttoning her coat or cleaning her room. Bella just did all those things without being told, and even when she was so small that it didn't come easy for her, she just took her time and stayed determined." Renee's eyes took on a sparkle as she looked straight at me. "And that's how I still see her. Independent and determined to live life her way and do whatever it takes to make it work. I'm proud of her and glad she found Edward because I think that he is the kind of guy who'll let her do things her own way but stand by to catch her in case anything ever goes wrong." She then looked directly at Edward. "I'm trusting you with my baby girl." And she clinked her glass against Phil's.
I raised my glass, but it was empty, so Edward held his to my lips, and I sipped from it amidst a small chorus of "awwws."
Hey, this is jenny. I just wanted to thank you all for the reviews (especially the one I saw several days ago for Sanctuary!). Every few days J and I do actually find a moment when we're both free at the same time and we read through your reviews together, and they do make us smile. We appreciate every one of them. Thank you. We have a twitter account for High Noon updates and teasers, so follow if you're the impatient type: highnoon_