To Light a Fire
Cora knew that she was in for an argument when she saw Lady Grantham riding in a carriage with Lord Grantham. She was ready for it, too. She was finished trying to please these people and sick of trying to fit in. She stayed in her room and waited for what was coming. She could hear her mother-in-law's raised voice as she told her son about being left at the Bennet's and having to walk to the village where she had only met up with her husband by chance. Cora heard Robert's footsteps as he approached her room and she was ready for whatever he had to say. She took a deep breath as he bargged into her room with fury written across his features.
"What is the meaning of this!" he roared. "You stranded my mother at someone's home? Are you trying to make this family a laughing stock?"Robert fumed. "I don't know how they do things in America, but here we treat each other with respect."
Cora couldn't hold her tongue at that remark. "Respect? I have never been treated with anything approaching respect from the moment I set foot in this house! I have been ignored…"
"I shouldn't be expected to spend my days entertaining you." Robert interjected.
"I was never asking for entertainment, Robert, I wanted acknowledgement. Just a little attention that let me know you remembered that I live here." Cora wasn't finished. "Instead I've been derided every single day and every time I'm in anyone's company!" Robert started to say something but Cora kept talking. "My clothes are too flashy. I'm not pretty enough for you. There's apparently something wrong with my voice. I'm not as refined as the English girls you could've married. I'm an American. I hear these things every day and they are never less hurtful. Now today I was humiliated, for a reason completely unknown to me! I know you don't care about my emotions, and that I'm no one's ideal spouse, but I never expected to be treated this way by you. I had though you were kinder that this." Tears began to well up in her eyes but Robert ignored them.
"So you abandoned my mother because she hurt your feelings? How childish can you be?" Robert sneered.
Cora showed her husband her stained day dress. "She put cake on my chair and you're calling me childish?"She sighed."Robert, I know I was wrong not to send that carriage back for her but I was so angry and I'm so very unhappy. I'm sorry."
"You bet your sorry!" Robert rumbled. "My reputation - this family's reputation - is on the line in every social setting. You behaved appallingly today and it reflects badly on us all. Oh, you bet you're sorry! You…"
"I want to go home!" Cora cried before putting her face in her hands and sobbing.
That took all of the fight out of Robert. He had been hoping it wouldn't come to this. For some reason - a reason that had nothing to do with the possibility of scandal or the financial ruin that would come from having to return Cora's dowery and lose her inheritance - he couldn't bear the thought of her leaving. He liked her in spite of everything else and he couldn't bear the thought of not having her around. As Cora looked at him with tears in her eyes, she saw how defeated he looked and it broke her heart. "Robert, I… I'm sorry." She reached out to touch his arm, but he pulled away from her.
"I'll leave you alone now," he said solemnly. As he opened the door, he turned back to look at his pretty, miserable, very young wife. "I'm sorry, too," he said gently. "I'm sorry… for all of it." He left her room and went as quickly as he could to try to find his father. He wanted to ask about the possibility of freeing this sweet girl from this marriage that seemed to be a nightmare for her even if it hurt him to do so. His heart was breaking because of this woman whom he hadn't realized had found such a prominent place in it. Tears rolled down his face as he searched for his parents who were nowhere to be found.
"Would you like to tell me why we're wandering aimlessly around the grounds?" Violet asks her husband, Richard, as they walked. He had hustled them out of the house once the fight upstairs could be heard in the foyer.
"Because," Richard explained, "one of those two young people upstairs who haven't even figured out how to be married yet is going to ask for a divorce. Then Robert will come looking for me to see how quickly it can be done. Then I will be part of that fight. I don't want to be involved at all. I'm hoping that if we leave them alone, things will sort themselves out and they might even be better off. Marriage isn't an easy business and they need to learn that. Robert needs to learn that. I think Cora has already found that to be the case." The Lord's thoughts turned to his daughter-in-law. "American or not, I grow more impressed with our Cora by the day. Robert made a far better choice than he realizes, I think."
"You should've seen her with Lily Bennet's little girl, Richard. She's going to be a wonderful mother. She's actually a very nice girl, for an American, of course." Violet said.
"So why did you embarrass her so? Putting cake on her chair, Violet? The poor girl will be a laughing stock if you keep it up." Richard scolded. "She's never going to fit in if you make it impossible for her to do so. Do you really dislike her that much, Violet, honestly?"
"You know perfectly well that I have nothing personal against her. I hadn't meant for her to sit on that cake, I was busy talking with Lily and hadn't been paying attention to her. By the time I turned around, she was already sitting and I knew her first instinct would be to say I'd put it there on purpose." Violet said.
"So why didn't you explain that it was an accident?" Richard asked. "Cora is a sweet girl. She would've understood."
"I didn't want to look like a dumb old fool, Richard. I didn't want to give the impression that this new, young, American was taking my place." Violet confessed to her husband. He smiled took her hand as they walked and looked into her eyes as the sunset painted the sky. He stroked his wife's cheek. "I'm afraid she'll replace me."
Richard smiled reassuringly at his wife. "No one will think you're senile because one mistake, and you shouldn't view Cora as your competition. She'd make her own place here if you would only let her. You need to sort things out with her soon. It'll make it a lot easier for her to begin to feel at home here." He kissed both his wife's hands and smiled. "She's good for our boy, Violet. If he'd stop being so stubborn about it all, I think she'd make him an extremely happy man." They couple continued to talk as the headed back to the house.
When They arrived, the butler, Gregory, was there to greet them. "It seems that both Lord Robert and his wife will not be coming down for dinner, My Lord."
"Very well. They'll ring if they need anything," Richard said as her turned to his wife. "Well, my dear, it seems we're dining alone this evening. I've got a chance to romance you now." he said with a mischievous grin. Violet blushed. Richard's eyes twinkled as he lead his giggling wife to the dining room.
Robert heard footsteps coming up the stairs and rushed into the hall to talk to his father, but when he saw how happy his parents looked, all he could do was wish them goodnight and trudge back to his self-made purgatory in his bedroom. He was wide awake and hungry. He looked at the door to Cora's bedroom. If she was still awake, she might be hungry too and Mrs. Winters, the cook, would be more apt to put together something more substantial than sandwiches if the two of them went down together. He got up and knocked lightly on the door that connected his dressing room and his wife's bedroom. "Cora? Cora are you still awake?" For a minute there was silence and then the door opened a crack and he was once again face to face with her. Her blue eyes always melted any thoughts he had and it took him a moment to compose them again.
"I don't want to argue anymore tonight," she pleaded. She opened the door fully and stood in from of him wearing another nightgown he could just about see through. This one was a lovely peach color. He tried not to stare with limited success.
"I don't want to argue either. I was going to go down to the kitchen and get something to eat. I was hoping you'd join me," Robert said gently. He could see her incredulous expression. He held out his hand to her.
"Give me a minute," she said, "I need my robe and slippers." Honestly, she wasn't too pleased about spending any more time with him at the moment, but she was very hungry.
Robert waited anxiously for the soft knock on the door and when it came, he offered her his hand again. When she took it his smile seemed to brighten the room. "I promise I'll try to do better by you," he said. Cora had been hurt too many times to to let his promise raise her hopes, but his smile and the way his thumb stroked the back of her hand had an effect on her no matter how she tried to ignore it. Robert got a candle and together they made their way down to the kitchen.
When they got there, the only one in the kitchen was the assistant cook, Beryl, who went pale as a ghost when she turned around and saw her future employers standing in the doorway. After Robert managed to calm her down, she quickly set about making them something to eat. The activity in the kitchen got the attention of the housekeeper, Mrs. Smythe, as she made her final tour through the house. Without making herself known, she went to get Gregory, the butler, to get the pair some wine. Meanwhile, Beryl couldn't stop apologizing for not serving them "a meal befitting their station". Robert and Cora both assured her that is was quite alright. "I'm sorry I don't have more of the pear tart, M'lord," Beryl said as she put the only remaining piece in front of the couple.
"We can share," Robert said looking at his wife. He took bit of tart on his fork and fed it to her. Cora smiled timidly at him.
"Oh, Beryl, this is wonderful. Pear tart is my favorite dessert and I honestly have never had one that compares to this one."
"Thank you, M'lady." the assistant cook said with pride. "It's sort of my specialty."
"It's my favorite dessert too," Robert said. He was pleased that he'd finally found something he had in common with his bride. After they finished and thanked Beryl, Mrs. Smythe, and Gregory, they walked around the house talking for hours. When there was nothing left to explore they returned to their rooms. "I wish I didn't have to say goodnight to you." Robert said.
Cora hadn't forgotten about their fight or the weeks he'd been keeping her at arms length, but after the hours they'd just spent together, she was willing to keep trying to make her marriage a happy one. "Then don't." They gazed into each other's eyes as he wrapped his arm around her waist and they both went into her room for the night. They fell asleep wrapped in each others arms as the first rays of dawn could be seen on the horizon.