The Love Doctor

By Galaxy1001D

Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co.

Chapter Six: The New Drakken

Many who visited the Middleton Mall that day thought that there was a science fiction convention in town. What other reason could there be for a car that looked like a flying saucer to be parked near Club Banana?

Two stores down from the food court, the Male's Storeroom rented and sold fashionable but conservative men's clothing from tuxedos to business suits. Just the place for James Bond or one of his more stylish villains to shop.

"Okay, let's see what we have to work with," Ron put his hand to his chin in thought while holding his elbow with the other hand. "Hmm, let's see, Shego is evil, and would therefore go for the bad boy look…"

Drakken emerged from the dressing room wearing a black leather jacket, T-shirt, blue jeans, and black leather boots. He clenched his hands in a 'thumbs up' gesture and exclaimed 'Ay...!"

"What?" Ron blinked in confusion.

"You know, the Fonz," Drakken said. "Happy Days? Ritchie and Potsie? Arnold's Diner?"

"Who?" Ron said. "Whose days are happy? What are you talking about?"

"Never mind," Drakken scowled when it became obvious the generation gap was too wide to leap over. "It was before your time."

"Ah-huh," Ron nodded. "Well unless you're planning to be a Jet all the way, I'd change out of that."

"You've heard of West Side Story but not Happy Days?" Drakken asked incredulously.

"Dude, we were forced to read that in high school," Ron told him.

"They are still forcing you to read West Side Story?" Drakken laughed. "I was forced to study that stupid play myself!"

"You too?" Ron chuckled. "Man, I really hated that play!"

"Me too, I hated it!" Drakken howled. "But my mother loved it! She'd play those songs again and again. It drove me crazy!"

"Remember that dumb song, 'Maria'?" Ron asked him. "It just went on and on!"

"I thought he'd never stop saying Maria!" Drakken joked.

The blue mad scientist and the blond sidekick laughed again.

Meanwhile, back at Kim's house, Kim and Shego were going over their purchases in the guest room "Okay, all we need to do is let you meet someone new," Kim said. "There are lots of nice outfits here. We'll just dress you up in one, and then go out and see what happens."

"You're taking me out to bars?" Shego asked in disbelief. "That's the best answer the great Kim Possible came up with?"

"Well you aren't going to meet somebody at a school dance!" Kim blushed indignantly. "Look, I don't expect you to find the love of your life on the first night. The whole idea is for you to get out there and mingle. Get used to guys hitting on you without you hitting back, okay?"

"I don't know, Kimmie," Shego said skeptically. "I'm not crazy about going to some club and have some drunk throw up all over me."

"Look at this as an experiment," Kim said as she desperately tried to salvage her plan. It wasn't the best plan, but it was the only one she came up with. "You need practice talking to men without breaking them in two. You know you can take them if you have to. You don't have to go out with them. You don't even have to like them. You just need practice talking to them. If you don't, you could be stuck with Drakken for the rest of your life."

"Ew, no thanks," Shego said. "Okay, pumpkin, desperate times call for desperate measures."

Kim decided that this was not the time to tell Shego that she was sick of all the pet names.

Back at the Male's Warehouse Drakken was dressed in a dark blue tuxedo.

"Hm," Ron murmured while studying Kim's archfoe. "The dark clothing says evil, and the tuxedo says 'wealth and power' but its missing something. You need a flower on the lapel or something that says 'romance'.

Drakken squeezed his eye shut and flowers bloomed out of his ears.

"Whoa!" Ron staggered back. "I forgot you could to that!"

"It's a gift and a curse," Drakken muttered as he pulled the flowers out of his ears and examined them. When he found one he liked, he pinned it to his lapel.

"Gravy!" Ron smiled. "Now all we gotta do is work on your patter."

"My patter?" Drakken's unibrow rose skeptically.

"Yeah, your pick up lines," Ron nodded. "Your flirts. The seductive sweet nothings that it takes to win a girl's heart. Flowers and candy are nice but you gotta have a follow through, give me what you got."

"Pardon?"

"Pretend I'm Shego and hit me with your best shot," Ron offered.

"What? Oh! Right," Drakken muttered as he winced before getting into character. "Shego my love, your eyes are like two green buttons that will activate a doomsday weapon…"

Ron pretended to brush Shego's long black tresses out of his face and assumed an uncaring feminine stance. "Oh Doctor Dee, tell me more," he said in a voice like Mickey Mouse.

"Your shiny hair is as black as my heart and your lips are as cruel as my evil plan," the mad scientist said while putting his hand on his chest and gesturing to an imaginary audience.

"Oh, Doctor Dee, you say the most wickedest things," Ron giggled girlishly.

"Your body has enough power to break a man in two!" Drakken smirked while shaking his fist defiantly. "With those wicked claws you could tear a man's heart out! Just think what you could do to Kim Possible!"

"Hey Drakken, ease up!" Ron protested. "You're going too far here! You want to be gentle and sweet, not cruel and evil! This is the woman you love here!"

"But when I think about what I like about Shego I like that she could rip out Kim Possible's throat!"

"Dude!" Ron scolded. "Could you ease up on Kim? You're not going to be a villain anymore, remember?"

"Oh!" Drakken winced and pressed his fingers against his forehead. "Right! Not going to be a villain! Got it! Sorry buffoon, old habits die hard."

"Okay," Ron grudgingly nodded.

"Just like Kim Possible!" Drakken's leering smile belonged on the Grinch.

"Dude!" Ron snapped. "Not cool!"

"Sorry," Drakken moaned and nodded furiously. "You're right… you're right. Not going to be a villain. Got it."

"You're not the only one who can wreck a guy's married life ya know!" Ron threatened.

"You?" Drakken snarled. "You're a good guy! What can you do?"

"I wrecked your Christmas a while back," Ron pointed out. "Remember?"

"Oh yeah," Drakken shuddered. "I remember. Drak Force One. Don't worry Stoppable, if this works out I can be plenty evil and still be legit! You won't have to worry about me!" He then advanced menacingly on the teenager. "But if you toy with me… hey! Why are you smiling?"

"You remembered my name," Ron grinned.

"You're right! I did!" Drakken gasped. "If I could do that, anything's possible!"

"For a…"

"Doable!" Drakken corrected himself. "Anything's within the realm of possibility, I mean probability! It can happen."

"That's the spirit!"

Next: Speed Dating