A/N: I'm so sorry for the lack of updates! It's not much but here's Chapter 6. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 6: My Heart Will Go On
Rose
April 25, 1912
I watched the brush as it dragged down the canvas. Beneath the brush, colors of orange, yellow, and purple smeared together into the sunset. After a few more strokes, I pulled back and looked at my work. I let out sigh that blew the stray hairs out of my eyes. Painting was frustrating work, especially when I couldn't see the sky I was painting. Even in my memory, the image was fuzzy. I bit into my lip. I didn't want to lose this memory, but for some reason I couldn't focus. Every time I thought of the sunset from where I stood on the nose of the ship, my memory of the sunset would smear and my body began to tingle to the touch of Jack's skin and the song he whispered as he dragged his lips across my ear…
"Come, Josephine, in my flying machine, going up, she goes up, up she goes"
No. I shook my head. I couldn't keep doing this or I was going to break down right there in the drawing room with Mr. Atwood reading the paper next to me. For some reason or another, he liked to watch me paint but he always fell asleep before I had my palette arranged. I felt my chest tighten up when I thought of Jack. Why did he always have to make things so difficult for me? All I wanted to do is paint the sunset, but Jack wouldn't let me because he's too busy purposely distracting me with his kisses… I threw my brush down with a groan of frustration and desperation. I wasn't getting anywhere like this. I had to clear my head.
Molly sat in the kitchen with Harriet. They both sipped on their afternoon tea.
"Rosie!" Molly smiled. "How's the painting going?"
"Just fine," I muttered as I washed the paint of my hands in the wash basin. "Just perfect." I scrubbed harder at my hands until they were raw red. Jack was always stumbling into my mind. I would smack him if I could for driving me crazy.
"Can we see it yet?" Harriet asked as she dropped a sugar cube into her porcelain china teacup.
"No, it's not finished yet. I keep getting distracted," I dried my hands on the floral dish towel and headed towards the foyer. "I'm going for a walk."
"Are you sure you don't want Howard to drive to wherever you're headed?" Harriet called after me.
"And Robert will be home in few hours!" Molly added. I rolled my eyes. She couldn't stop talking about Robert. He was a nice boy but I didn't want to wait around for him like Molly wanted. I was a free woman now even if Molly and Harriet were both trying to set me up with him.
"I won't be out long." If Molly was my mother, she would have smacked me if I had walked away from her while she was walking or had seen me rolling my eyes. I pulled my coat over my shoulders and shoved my hat over my mess of red hair. I opened the door only to be greeted by the sounds of the city. I hurried down the stairs and across the street. I had to get out of this city air. I needed to clear my head and New York City was definitely not the place to do so. I headed towards the river ignoring the hooking cars, the busy shops, and everyone that passed. I noticed I was holding my breath, like I couldn't breathe in any of this city air. I needed the river. I needed the sea. The wide open waters followed by endless possibilities. I was nearly sprinting by the time the river came into view. I climbed up the highest hill and let out a sigh of relief. I breathed in the open air with deep heavy breaths as I plopped down on the hillside. I could see the ocean from here. It might have only been just a little, but it was enough.
I took off my hat and let the breeze and the sun tickle my face. Today was warmer than it had been lately so I even removed my jacket and sat on it. Normally, a woman would be worried about being alone out here without being completely covered, but I didn't care. I just needed the sun. I watched as the ships and barges rolled in and dragged my hands through the grass. Dandelions scattered the hillside and robins hopped around the grass looking for their dinner. Somewhere down the hill, a family shared an afternoon picnic. I listened to the sound of the water lapping against the shore as my eyes began to grow heavy…
I found myself lying down in the grass after what felt like only moments later, but I noticed the sun was lower in the sky and the family nearby was gone. Had I fallen asleep? I cursed myself and pulled my jacket out from beneath me. This was one of those moments when I wished I had carried a pocket watch around with me like a man. I still had a bit of time until dinner, but I know that Molly was been worried sick. I must have been gone for nearly two hours. I climbed up the hill back to the sidewalk cursing under my breath the whole way. I was going to be late for dinner for the first time since my first stayed at the Atwoods.
I brushed past a series of benches busy cursing myself before I suddenly stopped myself and turned around. There sitting on the bench at the end of the walk was Robert Atwood. His legs were stretched out in front of him and he held a newspaper in his hands. As much as I hated to admit it, he did look rather charming sitting there. I reluctantly turned back and made my way to his bench. I quietly took a seat on the opposite end of the bench and hugged my jacket to my chest. A small book and his suit jacket sat between us.
"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" he asked not looking up from his newspaper, but the edges on his mouth twitched.
"To dinner. I suppose you'll be headed back home before too long yourself?"
He turned his attention to me with one dark eyebrow raised. "When have I been known to be on time to dinner?"
"Well, I don't plan on making a habit of it." I snapped.
He turned to me with bright eyes, completely speechless about my outburst. He quickly turned his attention back to his paper.
"What are you doing here anyway?" I watched as the breeze blew his draw hair around his face. "I thought you had work."
He shrugged and kept reading, "Sometimes I'll sneak out early when the weather's nice."
We sat there in silence for a moment as he read. For some reason, I couldn't move. I couldn't decide whether to leave or to wait from him offer to walk back home with me.
"I'm…sorry I snapped at you," I figured I should apologize for my tongue. "A lot has been on my mind lately. I should just…. go."
Why did I always feel so awkward around him? Maybe he was in on Molly and Harriet's attempts to get us together? I couldn't have that, but before I was about to leave him alone, he took me by surprise.
"Caledon Hockley," I felt my heart tighten at the sound of his name. "Do you know him?"
I swallowed hard holding back my tears and anger. I hadn't heard his name mentioned in weeks. "I know the name." I spoke through my teeth. Robert didn't seem to notice or just ignored it.
"Says here," he gestured to an article on page three of today's paper, "Caledon Hockley Survives Titanic". "that he survived the sinking. I didn't know he was on the ship."
"Shame," I muttered, but quickly added, "That he was on the ship. It was such a traumatic experience for all of us to go through."
"I'm sorry I brought it up. I know it's still hard for you," He quickly sat up and dropped the paper down next to him. "It's just, I knew Cal. Well, sorta. We worked together for a bit when we were younger. Last I heard he was to be married."
"I couldn't tell you," I wasn't going to wait for him to ask about the obvious anger I had towards Cal so I quickly looked for something else to talk about. "What is this? Your little black book?" I snatched up the small book sitting between us.
He smiled and shook his head, "Not even close. Like you, I too have a passion for the arts, or at least I like to think I do."
I flipped open the small book to find sketches. I immediately thought of Jack, but these drawings were nothing like Jack's. They weren't of interesting people will delicate hands. They were of cars, well, badly drawn cars at that.
"I know I'm not much of an artist," He set his paper down and turned towards me. "but I'm the best the company has."
"So you design cars when you're not managing the factory?" I continued to flip though the book, studying his uneasy strokes of his pencil. He didn't have a steady hand.
"Or I try to. I'm hoping to find someone who can draw soon enough so we can pitch a new design since these sketches are just an eye sore."
"I wouldn't say that…" I tried my best to hide my smile.
He laughed. "You're allowed to say it. I know they're terrible."
I let out a laugh too. "Well, automobiles are hard to draw since they're so complex."
"No, cars are simple. You just have to follow the directions to put them together. But women are hard to draw since they're so complex," His voice dropped and smile faded. "You have to understand them before you can draw every detail of their pales faces and bright hair and eyes perfectly…" His voice faded out and I knew he was staring at me. I felt my ears begin to burn and kept my eyes on his drawings.
"I had a friend who could draw," I blurted out. I felt my heart drop. Why would I say such a thing? I wasn't ready to talk about Jack to someone who didn't know him.
"Well I'll have to send him a letter and let him know he's hired," Robert was smiling again as he put his hands behind his head, but out of the corner of my eye I noticed the impatient tapping of his foot.
"That won't be necessary," I closed the book slowly and placed it between us again. "He died."
His smile faded just as quickly as it had come. "I'm deepest apologizes. I didn't-"
"It's alright," I stood abruptly. I was about to make a run for it before the tears began to flood, but I swallowed hard and held them back. I couldn't have Robert thinking I was upset with him. That would just cause a further explanation of Jack that I was not willing to give. So instead, I put on the best smile I could muster and held out my arm. "How about we head back home for dinner?"
He stared at me for a second with a blank expression on his face. "Ye-, ye-, yes," he stammered out of confusion, but quickly gathered his things. He laced his arms into mine, "I would be delighted."
A/N: Once again, sorry it's been so long. I've just been so busy with school and life and all that jazz. Also I'm having huge writer's block when it comes to this fic. I'm trying to drag out Rose and Jack's inevitable meeting as long as I can but I'm running out of fillers. Any ideas you guys have would be awesome :) Anywho, as usual, I can't promise when chapter 7 will be up but hopefully soon. Hope everyone had a great holiday and happy 2012! Revviieww please :D